Elora Canne's Blog, page 10

Huge Announcement

Are You Sitting Down?I interrupt your week with this early edition of the blog so you can share in my excitement with me!
After 10 years from idea to implementation, my memoir is finally here!
I am bursting ping pong balls of joy and fear at the thought of bearing my life in the pages of a book for ALL the world to read.


Instagram @elora_canne
Direct link: EN ROUTE: The Best Is Yet To Be - eBook 📲
Direct link: EN ROUTE: The Best Is Yet To Be - Paperback 📚
But, my message is one of finding inner-strength so I had to practice what I preach as it were, and put myself out there.
In a unique blend of inner and outward travel I have combined my personal growth with that of a year-long trip around the world. Let's unravel the complexities of human nature together, while taking in the grandeur of the natural world. 
Click this link for video footage: Travel with me as we explore who we are and how we fit into the world.
I am both petrified and excited to hear what you thought of my memoir. Let me know in the comments - please be kind 🙏 - just kidding 🤣 Honest reviews are ALWAYS welcome. What would it feel like to have a happier relationship? Request your free PDF download in the comments.

Blind Date vs Online Dating

Dating Risks
https://unsplash.com/@marqquin

Let’s have a chat about taking risks in the dating world.

Dating Risks - as you click on the video, the first 15 seconds are awkward silence while I waited to go live 🤣

Can you think of a dating disaster that still makes you laugh today?

[To be clear we’re not talking dangerous dating mishaps, I don’t have the qualification to help but am including THIS LINK if you need professional help from anywhere in the world].

https://unsplash.com/@krakenimages
In retrospect, with my "far too many wines of glass already," line, it could have been risky, but we were a party of six and I was with my best friend. I think that's where we draw the line at taking chances with people we don't yet know, it's always wise to go in a group with someone you know and to be in a well-lit public space.
Back to the funny things that can go wrong on a date. 
On one particular date, my wedge cork shoe broke at the strap - I spent the date BAREFOOT!In another situation, my button popped off my jeans - I guess I ate too much that time 🤣My last embarrassing moment that I'm sharing with you is going on a date with long WET hair - my hairdryer broke moments before we were set to leave!
https://unsplash.com/@freestocks
Now that I've shared some of my funniest dating moments, I'd love to hear some of yours. Drop a funny anecdote in the comments: Falling down while on a date? Let's hear it!Spilt your food or red wine on a date? I want to know about it!Got drenched in the rain while on your way to a date? Tell me all about it!Lastly, I have shared some hilarious moments in a Date Year experiment that my husband and I did in a quick-read ebook, Creating Sparks that Last, available at this link. I've also shared some of the wisdom we learnt about each other through our year of dating, which I know will be valuable to you if you're on a mission to get the best from your relationship too.



What would it feel like to have a happier relationship? Request your free PDF download in the comments.

Redefining Love and Marriage

Redefining Boundaries https://unsplash.com/@yirage
Committing to a life-long marriage through difficult times takes a lot of courage. Each partner has to redefine for themselves the kind of life they want to lead within the walls of a partnership.
Will you be willing to forgo some of your identity to take on the characteristics of a partner, who, just a few years ago was a complete stranger? How well do you know each other? In this life that you share, how deeply have you truly got to know each other?
What you do on a daily basis in the humdrum of a nine to five lifestyle erodes the learnings and coping mechanisms adopted from your years of younger love. Invisible introspection can dim the light in your eyes if you let it.

Old habits take over 

if you forget to create 

special moments together

Learning to redefine the meaning of love means learning to redefine boundaries that no longer have any meaning. Boundaries that were significant at the beginning of your relationship as a couple madly in love, are worlds apart from the boundaries of a couple in the middle of a long-term relationship, possibly at odds with each other's ideas of mid-life contentment. 

 

https://unsplash.com/@schimiggy

Finding a compromise that makes both partners happy is ongoing if you are to make a permanent home together. This is no different to the exploratory stage of new love, nor is it exclusive to any relationship.

The outcome largely depends on how much you are prepared to give of yourself to make another human being happy whilst maintaining your own happiness.

It does not  mean you are responsible for their happiness, it simply means taking them into consideration in everyday decisions as well as dreams and life goals; as individuals and as a couple.

Just don't lose yourself in the process.

https://unsplash.com/@josephyates_

Shine your light so bright

it illuminates your

authenticity

The above article is adapted from the memoir EN ROUTE: The Best Is Yet To Be and if it resonates with you, it can be pre-ordered here. The book is chock-full of wisdom from the experiences of young love through mid-life marriage following the same couple throughout their ups and downs.

If you're looking for a few ideas to infuse your relationship with more meaning, you'll find a variety of ideas at this link.

Have a great weekend everyone and go out there and do something special!

What would it feel like to have a happier relationship? Request your free PDF download in the comments.

One Life

 Where we Belong Belonging eludes many people and yet it is such an inherent need in human beings; it gives meaning to our every thought and action. And a close second to that is connection, without which there can be no belonging.
True, we can't rely on 'belonging' for our own happiness but it definitely forms an integral part of our we perceive ourselves within society.
Travelling inwards reveals just how much our mind can  haunt us and berate us if we let it. However, self-discovery enables us to understand how we relate to others and to form meaningful connections with them. 
Finding a way to understand ourselves and deepen our inner-knowledge takes many forms. Sometimes it's physically trying new things, other times it's listening to that inner voice and shushing the critic but hearing the deeper reasoning of why we are so critical of our mistakes. This might enlighten us as to what we don't want in external relationships/friendships.
Therefore, knowing what it is we're looking for in others will help us to find our niche, our inglenook of belonging where we feel accepted for exactly who we are. This is vital in a relationship and works both ways.


Questions you can ask yourself to help awaken your awareness of your core beliefs:
What are my best personal qualitiesHow do I make others feel?Who do you admire and why?I think if you can answer those three questions openly and honestly, you're well on your way to establishing your inner-compass and where you feel most aligned in society.
And if all else fails, there's a little laugh further down the page with a bit of a *language* alert!
................




I'd love to continue the conversation in the comments. Let me know if you found the questions helpful.

What would it feel like to have a happier relationship? Request your free PDF download in the comments.

Today���s the Day!

If Not Now, Then When?When will you honour your deepest desires?
When will you put your dream life ahead of someone else���s?
I���ll tell you when: TODAY!
Today is the day you get to live the life of your dreams!
If you���re unsure how to go about it, I have just the thing for you.


Go live the life of your dreams. Bolder and braver than you ever imagined possible.
EN ROUTE is full of inspiration and encouragement to get you started. 
The best is yet to be, so go now and find the way forwards: EN ROUTE: The best is yet to be 

What would it feel like to have a happier relationship? Request your free PDF download in the comments.

Today’s the Day!

If Not Now, Then When?When will you honour your deepest desires?
When will you put your dream life ahead of someone else’s?
I’ll tell you when: TODAY!
Today is the day you get to live the life of your dreams!
If you’re unsure how to go about it, I have just the thing for you.


Go live the life of your dreams. Bolder and braver than you ever imagined possible.
EN ROUTE is full of inspiration and encouragement to get you started. 
The best is yet to be, so go now and find the way forwards: EN ROUTE: The best is yet to be 

What would it feel like to have a happier relationship? Request your free PDF download in the comments.

My Gift to You

🎁 Happy Relationships and a Merry Christmas
Image credit @KatieAzi

My gift to you this holiday season, is one of happier times with your loved ones. I have a giveaway for you; a booklet of Date Year Ideas for you to use at your leisure. Completely free, no strings attached, a giveaway of pure loving intention.
The date ideas are fun and relaxed and can be used in any relationship you wish to deepen. Healthy relationships cover all aspects of our lives, so you can quite easily adapt my date ideas to your friendships, family relationships or partnerships. 

Your style, your way.

 

I have included a page for each month of the year with some ideas for you to think about. But, this is YOUR date year, YOUR way. You can change them up, add your own or include anything that gets you closer to understanding the person you are with in that moment.

Your free booklet is at the link below:

Date Year Ideas

Image credit @OlesiaHnatkevych

Have fun and do share your own date ideas with me in the comments, I love trying new things.
Here are just a few links to some of the suggestions in your Date Year Ideas Booklet:
Learn a new dance

Craft Rocks
My knowledge of reviving relationships has been proven worthy by my readers. Here's a great suggestion for a book to read together:


Creating Sparks that Last

Have a wonderful Holiday Season and I will see you in the New Year!

Bring on 2022! 

Let's rock it like a Rockstar!

What would it feel like to have a happier relationship? Request your free PDF download in the comments.

How to Know if He���s ���The One���

Or Not the One? https://unsplash.com/@jess33mx

How can you know for sure that your partner is the one for you?
The simple truth is, you can���t.
As a young teenager, I threw a declaration out into the wind that I would marry a man with curly hair who loved water sports.
When I met my then-boyfriend, now-husband, it was a lifetime later, different school, different friends and yet I met this young man who loved nothing better than to go water skiing with friends every weekend, and, yes, he had curly hair!
Now, several decades later, we have our own little run-around boat and love nothing better than to go out on the lake or for a paddle in quiet waters. But those several decades were definitely not smooth sailing.

https://unsplash.com/@matthewclarkrogers

From the outside, it looks like he was my 'one.' But there were many occasions when I wondered, in fact we both wondered, if  we wanted this life together. You see, when I threw my declaration out into the Universe, I was young and knew what my deepest desires were, but as we get older, we tend to let life's expectations carry us away from our 'knowing.'
Fortunately for me, for us, we did everything we could to make our relationship stronger, stay together, and forge the life of our dreams. Now I'm not saying every couple should do this, there are definitely times when you need to cut loose. But that's just the point, not every relationship is meant to be 'the one', some are meant to be 'the way-showers' because we tend to get lost in life every now and again.
So the point of my writing today, is to ask you:
Are you living the life your young self ordained for you?If not, how can you get back to the life of your desires?
I don't have the answers for you but I have a few suggestions that might help:Go back to doing the things you loved doing at a younger age. That might be something creative, something physical like workouts, trekking, cycling, camping or anything that gets you back in touch with the you who knew what you wanted.Start to observe yourself inwardly. That might be journaling, meditating, spending quiet contemplative time in nature or just simply taking a few deep breaths.
https://unsplash.com/@misterdoulou

None of us have all the answers but the deeper you get to know yourself, really know who you are, what you're about and what makes you smile inwardly, the clearer the answers will be.
So go and have some fun, enjoy the holiday season and I will be back with you to hear all your wondrous discoveries next week.
In the meantime I'll leave you with this...

Life is a beautiful journey, enjoy the ride ���� 

 

I've spent a lot of time on the water lately and gained some deep knowledge from the tides of life and ebb and flow of seasons and cycles in relationships, so if you'd like to read a little deeper insight from me, I'm certain this book will be of great value to you.

And if you're longing to travel again and spend time in nature, whether on the water or walking the trails, my memoir, En Route, is sure to delight you. The ebook is ready for pre-order at this link or you can leave a comment in the menu bar above if you'd like to be on the waitlist for the paperback. 

En Route: The best is yet to be, is for all those wanting to find themselves, and live their life full of love, but on their terms. 

Your voice, your way ����

 Smooth sailing for your week ahead. 

What would it feel like to have a happier relationship? Request your free PDF download in the comments.

How to Know if He’s ‘The One’

Or Not the One? https://unsplash.com/@jess33mx

How can you know for sure that your partner is the one for you?
The simple truth is, you can’t.
As a young teenager, I threw a declaration out into the wind that I would marry a man with curly hair who loved water sports.
When I met my then-boyfriend, now-husband, it was a lifetime later, different school, different friends and yet I met this young man who loved nothing better than to go water skiing with friends every weekend, and, yes, he had curly hair!
Now, several decades later, we have our own little run-around boat and love nothing better than to go out on the lake or for a paddle in quiet waters. But those several decades were definitely not smooth sailing.

https://unsplash.com/@matthewclarkrogers

From the outside, it looks like he was my 'one.' But there were many occasions when I wondered, in fact we both wondered, if  we wanted this life together. You see, when I threw my declaration out into the Universe, I was young and knew what my deepest desires were, but as we get older, we tend to let life's expectations carry us away from our 'knowing.'
Fortunately for me, for us, we did everything we could to make our relationship stronger, stay together, and forge the life of our dreams. Now I'm not saying every couple should do this, there are definitely times when you need to cut loose. But that's just the point, not every relationship is meant to be 'the one', some are meant to be 'the way-showers' because we tend to get lost in life every now and again.
So the point of my writing today, is to ask you:
Are you living the life your young self ordained for you?If not, how can you get back to the life of your desires?
I don't have the answers for you but I have a few suggestions that might help:Go back to doing the things you loved doing at a younger age. That might be something creative, something physical like workouts, trekking, cycling, camping or anything that gets you back in touch with the you who knew what you wanted.Start to observe yourself inwardly. That might be journaling, meditating, spending quiet contemplative time in nature or just simply taking a few deep breaths.
https://unsplash.com/@misterdoulou

None of us have all the answers but the deeper you get to know yourself, really know who you are, what you're about and what makes you smile inwardly, the clearer the answers will be.
So go and have some fun, enjoy the holiday season and I will be back with you to hear all your wondrous discoveries next week.
In the meantime I'll leave you with this...

Life is a beautiful journey, enjoy the ride 💛 

 

I've spent a lot of time on the water lately and gained some deep knowledge from the tides of life and ebb and flow of seasons and cycles in relationships, so if you'd like to read a little deeper insight from me, I'm certain this book will be of great value to you.

And if you're longing to travel again and spend time in nature, whether on the water or walking the trails, my memoir, En Route, is sure to delight you. The ebook is ready for pre-order at this link or you can leave a comment in the menu bar above if you'd like to be on the waitlist for the paperback. 

En Route: The best is yet to be, is for all those wanting to find themselves, and live their life full of love, but on their terms. 

Your voice, your way 💖

 Smooth sailing for your week ahead. 

What would it feel like to have a happier relationship? Request your free PDF download in the comments.

5 Must-Read Relationship Books

Holiday Reads to Help with your Relationships
https://unsplash.com/@thoughtcatalog

As the holidays get near, it's difficult to keep daily routines running smoothly and this is a problem for people who don't like their days disrupted. It's particularly difficult when you have friends or family staying for long periods through the holiday season.
I've listed some books below that will help us understand the complexities in a range of relationships, and help us to see the perspective of the other person, or people, as well. 
The following books relate to aspects of our relationship with:Ourselves Our parents Partner Children  Extended family, friends or even colleagues. I have read them all and have gained different insights from each one. (I am in NO WAY affiliated).
We'll start with our relationship with ourselves, because ultimately, that's where our interactions stem from, in every single relationship we encounter.
Hector and the Search for Happiness by Francois Lelord


Our relationship with ourselves is our primary relationship. The way we engage, react, respond and interact with others originates within. If we feel that happiness eludes us, it's because we are looking for outward gratification. 
That's the premise in Hector and the Search for Happiness as the main character travels far and wide looking for things and/or people to make him happy. It's the ultimate realisation of his own inner peace that returns him to his home where he feels deeply grateful for all that he has.
It's written in an easy-to-read style which you should be able to finish in a few days BUT the simple lessons he instils will remain with you for a long time.
Available here.
Can't We Talk About Something More Pleasant? by Roz Chast


I feel that our relationship with our parents is our second-most important one (see above), because the parent/child relationship shapes us in ways we are sometimes not even aware of.
Can't We Talk About Something More Pleasant? Covers the aspect of our parents' old-age in a light-hearted comic-style prose. It's a memoir and therefore very relatable to many families.
It helps us understand the perspective of our aging parents with acceptance. It lessens the angst of knowing how to care for our older generation and brings a bit of humour into the awkward dynamics of this golden age era.
You can buy it at this link.The Greatest Gift by Rachael Johns


Though written in a fictional holiday-read prose, The Greatest Gift touches deeply on the relationship we forge with our life partner. Decisions that we make depend on their goals and affect their future too.
Whether to start a family or not, is a personal choice and this story reveals aspects from both sides. But more than that, is the effect that ALL of our decisions (not only parenthood), have on our partners' lives. Some are irreversible, others are salvageable, either way, the effects last forever.
[Having children can be a sensitive topic so tread lightly if you decide to read this one].
Grab a copy with a click.
Understanding Your Child's Temperament by Beverly LaHaye                                             

This book helped me so much when my children were in the 9-10 year age bracket. They undergo many hormonal changes in that 'tween' stage, verging on a leap into maturity.
Not only does the author of Understanding Your Child's Temperament discuss personality traits but also how they relate to specific situations. Plus, she goes on into their young adult lives as well, and how they adjust to the working world within the dynamics of their characteristics.
It's an invaluable book if you're looking to strengthen your bond with your child before the teen years, as those teenager days can be confusing for all concerned.
You'll find copies over here.
Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine by Gail Honeyman


Oh! The social ineptitude of Eleanor Oliphant is cringe-worthy but written with great empathy so as to ease the awkwardness of her blunders.
Gail Honeyman writes with dry humour as we follow Eleanor's daily life through workdays, home-days and her ever-widening social circle. Her relationships with co-workers and parents is enough to make you want to reach into the book and give Eleanor a great big comforting hug.
A wonderful way to explore the idiosyncrasies we each have and the understanding that we should give each other in a wide berth of acceptance.

Snap it up at this link. 
How to Make the Holidays More FunIf you're looking for ideas to enhance your guests' stay over the holiday period, you could try some of these ideas:
A cultural food cook-offLearn a new dance Online Escape Room gameIn-home scavenger huntMake a family holiday memento - I had everyone trace the outline of their hand onto a solid piece of wood that I had and then write a short message in their handprint, ending with the year, eg 2021For more date ideas that can be adjusted for family members, take a look at this quick-read book, Creating Sparks that Last as it will help you to create brighter relationships with all those around you.Articles more your jam? Look no further than these links:
Couples, Communication and Our Stories

Attachment Theory and Your Relationships



And remember:

Holidays are more fun when you're occupied!

Happy holidays if yours have already begun!

What would it feel like to have a happier relationship? Request your free PDF download in the comments.