Elora Canne's Blog, page 6
December 8, 2022
Less Fuss, More Us - With your loved ones that is!
Elora and the Nutcracker at Windsor Castle, U.K 2011 World Trip(If that's you in the background with a cup of coffee, "Hi and apologies; I wasn't able to edit you out haha.")Hopefully your Holiday shopping frenzy is over and you can start thinking of ways to unwind - or at the very least, grab 10 minutes to relax by yourself or with your fave humans.
I've put together some great ideas that are free and fun for you to take some time out and catch your breath.
👌 Easy dates that can include family or just you and your partner: Tap Here for Date Ideas:
👌 If it's an evening of sweet serenades with your love that you need, I've got you covered with this cruisy tunes playlist: Have a listen here:
👌 For longer term ideas, sign up for our free once-a-month at-home date ideas throughout 2023 that’ll help intensify your feelings for your partner - even after several decades together! Sign Up here:
Most of all remember to breathe and enjoy the season. I'll leave you with this quote from the brilliant James Clear of Atomic Habits fame:
You don't always get to choose the load, but you can choose how to carry it.
Happy Holidays and Happy Everything - that's it from me, see you in 2023.
In the meantime, come say hi on the socials, I'll be there through the holiday season, chatting and having fun with friends:
Instagram: elora_canne
Facebook: eloracanne
https://unsplash.com/@arnelhasanovic
Remember to subscribe for more relationship ideas that leave you happy and fulfilled.
December 1, 2022
Romance and Wrinkles
Well, in my world anyway. Every now and then I embark on an experiment that’ll inject some torque into the engine that drives our relationships. And this time, it’s a blueprint, or plan of action, which I’ve called Romance and Wrinkles.
Romance and Wrinkles Sign Up Form
Join in for once-a-month emails from me.
Each month I’ll introduce an experience to enhance your perception of your partner for the better.
Each experience will be face-to-face so you can observe each other closely: facial expressions, eye contact, emotional response. Don’t worry if this sounds intense, they are all fun, lighthearted and above-board engaging opportunities. To the best of my ability, they will also be screen-free.
💟
If you’re on the fence and would like to no more, please comment below. And if you prefer, there is also an email link on the sign-up form for questions.
Tap the link ➡️ Find the sign-up form here:
My husband and I will be joining right in, after all, that’s the point right? To be engaging and real with ideas that work.
Join us; you have nothing to lose, and EVERYTHING to gain 💖
Find me on the Socials for conversations that inspire growth:
Instagram: elora_canne
Facebook: Elora Canne
Remember to subscribe for more relationship ideas that leave you happy and fulfilled.
November 24, 2022
Love is a Crush
So back to 'Love is a Crush' - it's essentially an emotion of intense infatuation that either rapidly evolves into a deeper emotion of care and affection, or not. Of course, I'm referring to romantic relationships because we can all acknowledge that we have the capacity to encompass dynamics of love such as parents, children, siblings, friends and family outside of a romantic relationship.
I've spent nearly 4 decades married to my husband. 4 Decades!! I'm sure you can imagine some of the changes we would have endured from teenagerhood to midlife marriage. Some of these changes, I have been able to pick apart, and put back together to enable us to forge ahead contentedly into our senior years. Yes, love is a crush but if you're open to learning from those initial intense emotions when you first met, you can create momentum that carries you into a future bright with a midlife love worthy of pursuing into later years.
I trust that you have chosen, or will choose, your forever partner with the hopes of a life you can sustain together growing closer and more intimate as time irrevocably marches on.
I've written extensively of my experience in establishing boundaries and personal growth whilst simultaneously nurturing a relationship that has thrived in changing circumstances, cities and countries.
You’ll find all that in my memoir as it showcases the emergence of a powerful woman borne from the roots of a sapling, becoming stronger through the wisdom of time. Here’s the link for you: EN ROUTE The Best is Yet To Be
I’ve also written about our midlife dating experiment which served as much of a reminder for me to appreciate and value the small things in my husband, as it did to reignite our love, infatuation and passion for each other. Tap the link to find out more: Creating Sparks that Last eBook
Next year, I am working on a blueprint, a plan of action really, of ideas to actually enhance midlife love. The definition of 'enhance' according to Oxford Languages, is to: increase, add to, intensify, magnify, amplify, inflate.
Imagine how good the prospects of a long term relationship look, when you know how to intensify your feelings for each other even after several decades together. (If you have experience you would like to share, I would LOVE to hear it).
My working titles for my book idea so far, are listed below, and I would appreciate your vote and/or suggestions too:
- Love is a Crush- Love, Life and Lust- Romance and Wrinkles
Let me know your ideas and if you feel you, or someone you know, could benefit from reading about our relationship experiences across the globe, across chasms or emotional divides, I would encourage you wholeheartedly to treat yourself, or someone you love, to a copy of one, or both, of my books previously mentioned, at the following links:
EN ROUTE The Best is Yet To Be
Creating Sparks that Last eBook
Join me on the socials and let's brain storm ideas for a future full of growth:
• Find me here: Instagram
• And here: Facebook
• Also here: LinkedInRemember to subscribe for more relationship ideas that leave you happy and fulfilled.
November 17, 2022
5 Tips to Survive the Holidays
If, like me, you're wondering how on earth the holidays are almost upon us, you're in the right place.
Crazy isn't it that we say this same thing every year and yet every year, we have the same 365 days to prepare for it. But life happens, stuff gets in the way and we just. get. busy!
So here are my no-nonsense tips to surviving the holidays and keeping your relationships intact, whether with your children, parents, friends, colleagues or spouse (or your cat, dog or mouse 😼🐶🐭).
Be still - I'm serious. Stop, breathe - really breathe - like deep into-the-belly breaths.Take just 10 minutes to do what you love - Don't have 10 minutes? Pick up the phone and call a trusted human to relieve you of your busyness for 10 minutes. If they care for you at all, they'll do it and you can return the favour when they need it. Don't know what you love to do? Jot the first 3 things that come to mind and start there.Move your body - I can hear you asking 'how'? My answer? Any how - just move until you're laughing. This time, feel free to involve your kids, spouse, friends, family or colleagues!Get outdoors - or at the very least, open a window and if that's not possible, listen to your favourite music.Read - Whether a one line inspirational quote, a fantasy escapism or enlightening nonfiction, take the time to read because it gives your mind a rest from thinking, thinking, thinking non-stop.Repeat daily.
What you do everyday,
determines your reality.
At the beginning of the year, I made a promise to myself to spend more time outdoors and this quote really hit home, reminding me why it was important:
"Nature is my medicine" --Sara Moss-Wolfe
We all know we should do more of what we love, and it is essential at this crazy time of year to do the things that are important to us. Yes, family is important, but YOU are important first.
Be stillTake 10 minutesMove your bodyGet outdoorsReadHow will you incorporate these 5 tips into your daily life? Because they are non-negotiable for your mental wellbeing.If you're looking for an easy read that you can dip in and out of a few minutes at a time, my friend Barbara Randell's latest book, Mansfield House, is a sweet and clean romance set in South Australia's Copper Triangle. The story echoes of Jane Austen's novel, Mansfield Park.
The heroine is Fran Price, an orphan who has been living with her aunt's family for years. We follow her as she learns to defy those family members who resent her presence, and begins to fight for her own happiness. I think you can see why this is a good choice as we each fight for our own happiness too.
You'll find the link to Mansfield House here: Paperback or eBook (it’s my current read btw).
I do hope today's 5 quick tips help you find peace in the busyness of, what should be, a joyous season. Let me know if you have other tips to share for our readers to benefit from as well.
As always, find me on the socials and join the conversation there too:
Madame Le Feur ↖PS: I had so much fun with all these images, I just had to post them all LOL.
PPS: Need help selecting the perfect gift for the book lover in your life? I’m excited to offer gift packages Australia-wide, tailored to personal interests, along with my memoir; signed if you’d like!
And if you live overseas from Australia, grab a copy at the link below:
EN ROUTE The Best is Yet To Be
November 10, 2022
Relationships and Resilience
Photo credit: Pat Backley
Pat’s memoir From There To Here (With An Awful Lot In Between) is sprinkled with her positive outlook and quotes to live by.
Here is one such quote that really stood out to me:
Whatever life throws at you, never give up. Just learn to adapt and change.
You’ll hear more of her passion and positivity shine through as you listen to our chat here: Relationships and Resilience
And if you have any questions for Pat, let’s hear them in the comments. She is a font of inspiration!You’ll find all of her books, both fiction and nonfiction on her website: Pat Backley - Author
Connect with Pat on the socials at the following links:
And I’ll leave you with one last quote from Pat that will inspire you to live the life you dream of:
Life can be tough, but try to keep smiling through the tears. When you get knocked down, get up and carry on…You never know what’s around the next corner.
Have a fabulous life 💗
Remember to subscribe for more relationship ideas that leave you happy and fulfilled.November 3, 2022
30 Days Of Brave
I’ve discovered a new way of doing what I love.
Creativity streaks, or sprints, are the go!
Have you ever challenged yourself to a creativity streak?
Bam! Brave act right there.
Not brave as in heroically fight a bear, but brave as in step out of your comfort zone kind of brave, and not onto a bindi either— or maybe that is brave; kind of like a giant leap of faith but stepping into something risky. No I’m kidding, don’t go stepping onto any bindi’s or into any risks! But you know, sometimes you’ve got to take a chance on yourself— so let’s say calculated risks potentially.
Anyhoo, a creative streak is quite a commitment. So it depends, are you committed to your craft, your creative influence?
Because, without it, who would you be?
De’Andre BushI mean, your very personality is a creative streak: the way you wear your hair, the clothes you choose, your daily habits - they make up your creativity, your daily interests, AKA - You!
See? Creativity is anything that brings out your playfulness.
I feel like I’ve digressed here, but I have always advocated being you, your authentic self and that is your first creative palette when you wake up in the morning. Every. Single. Day! You wake up with a clean canvas; what creative flair will you adorn it with today? And for the next 30 days? A lifetime? We never stop being our own selves. Own it! Be you. Show the world who you are and rock it with unabashed playfulness.
Katrina WrightQ: What kind of creativity streak could you explore?
I would love to hear of your creative undertakings in the comments below.
Go on, unleash your playful creative flair; allow your intuition to guide you.
Darius BasharRemember to subscribe for more relationship ideas that leave you happy and fulfilled.
October 27, 2022
Ready to Smash 2023?
What if there’s no reason to change anything;
No reason to want things to be different.
What if there’s no reason to work towards a goal;
No reason for New Year’s resolutions.
Sound good?
My fur-niece, Topaz Binky, agrees!
What if you like— no, LOVE the way you are, exactly as you are.
There is no reason to buy into the hype.
ICYMI - There. Is. No reason to buy into the hype!
You get to shine as brightly as you are. Of course, I’m not advocating stagnation because
growth is the new humankind.
But you get to grow at your own pace. Not when the New Year tells you to.
So ditch the phony New Year’s resolutions, ditch the societal expectations and pressured-into goals. Find your own tendrils of new growth, unfurl deliciously slowly, leisurely, savoring the softness of life’s gentle awakening - all will come good, in your own time; in your own way.
Let’s cheer together: I AM ME IN 2023!
Not a new me, not a better me— ME exactly as I am.
If this stirred a feeling of triumph in you, drop a HELL YEAH in the comments!
See you in November 💃
If you want to know more about how I found my personal power, you’ll find it in my memoir:
EN ROUTE The Best Is Yet To Be
And if you’d love to know how we’re still rocking our marriage after almost 4 decades together, read our inspiring Date Year journal here:
Creating Sparks that Last eBook
Follow the fun on the socials:
October 20, 2022
“I” Before “U”
I’m delighted to introduce our guest blogger kayymorgan today, directly from her own platform: Are you there, Erma? It’s me, Sylvia.”
In her article below, kayymorgan captures the essence of self-care in relationships perfectly. Enjoy.
"ARE YOU THERE, ERMA? IT'S ME, SYLVIA."“I” BEFORE “U”
kayymorgan
Sylvia: Erma, how have you survived that mother of all relationships? You know. Marriage?
Erma: Oh Sylvia, that's a biggie. The question of all questions. Too early for wine or an old-fashioned, so put a fresh pot on.
As the cooler temperatures set in and the daylight hours grow shorter, Sylvia contemplates all the ways to bring possibilites for happiness to life. It seems a bit inconsistent though since autumn for many carries darker thoughts. Death and dormancy even for some. However, Sylvia, ever hopeful given the company she keeps and her best friend's soothsaying abilities (Erma predicts that everything works out as it should in the end), is thinking about what makes people tick this time of year, especially other women who appear wildly happy with themselves and almost annoyingly contented in their marriages. And for the purpose of this conversation, marriage according to Sylvia means a long-standing commitment between two grown people who have vowed to be true to one another in good times and bad, yada-yada-yada, and who lack the possibility of easy escape or abandonment. How does one survive, thrive, grow, bloom, and blossom - keep the soil tilled so to speak, during and even after years of marriage?
Of course, as Sylvia has learned at Erma's urging, a steaming cup of coffee and a daydream often help nourish the spirit and soothe the soul. On occasion, both even assist in maintaining a woman's self-esteem and satisfying her amply. Undoubtedly, the recollection of Sylvia's best cup of coffee which led to the conjuring of Cam's bulging biceps and hypnotic hazel eyes often serves Sylvia well. And as Erma has told Sylvia time and again, it's okay to wind your own clock to keep it ticking on and in your own time. Sylvia and most women, married and unmarried, need to know that lovers, partners, and spouses cannot keep time sufficiently for them if they haven't spent the time on themselves uncovering, discovering, and exploring that which makes their their toes curl and their skin glisten.
Erma (looking for a little nosh to accompany the freshly brewed dark roast): Sylvia, I have a really simple recipe that only took me more than forty years years of marriage and togetherness to create and follow. On the surface, it's pretty easy - to me anyway. You know, Sylvia, how you made me think about "to B or not to B" a while back? Well, I have my own alphabetical application that I use to keep the marriage and relationship ground alive. "I" before "U" always!
Sylvia (mug in hand as she hurries towards the carafe for a quick refill): Hold that thought, Erma. Something tells me I need to be sitting for this next piece of info. I've got a feeling I should even be taking notes.
Erma and Sylvia spend the next several hours discussing, sharing, and lamenting the lack of true and unbridled fulfilment in many relationships, but namely marriage. While Sylvia interjects her own tales of woe due to feeling less or smaller in her relationship, Erma repeats what she knows to be true after oh-so-many years of being committed to one person.
"Sylvia, there are only two ways to be fulfilled in this life. First, ask for what you want. Be clear. Crystal. Don't leave your happiness and satisfaction to chance, hoping that your friend, lover, spouse, or partner will pick up on your cues and read your mind. Be specific. Be direct. You want eggs for breakfast and you know that only eggs will satisfy you completely, then why are you settling for oatmeal? Don't be afraid to ask for eggs - and any way you want them! This leads to the second way to fulfilment, by the way, and I don't think it's coincidental. If you can't get your eggs over-easy just the way you like them, want them, and need them, make them yourself. Often the only way to get something or to accomplish what you want and desire is to do it yourself. Anything and everything. This doesn't mean you don't want the person to share the meal, but it means that you know how to shop for, prepare, and feed yourself if they are unwilling, incapable, or unavailable. So, Sylvia, to recap: Ask for what you want. And if you don't get what you want or don't feel like asking, do NOT settle.
Erma collects her mug, places it gingerly in the kitchen sink, and turns to her friend with one final utterance before heading out. "To recap, Syl, remember that 'I' always precedes 'u' in every way imaginable."
SHE'S SITTING HERE PRACTICING THE ALPHABET! *********************************
"Always putting others first creates deep resentment, destroys your happiness, and is unsustainable.
Putting yourself first allows you to meet your needs in the most skillful way. This, in turn, increases your happiness, joy, and capacity to love, so you can give freely and create healthy relationships.”– (Aziz Gazipura)
You’ll find more of Sylvia and Erma’s wisdom at the links below:
Facebook: overfiftyandfine - The Adventures of Sylvia and Erma
Instagram: K. Morgan - sylvia_erma
Personal Blog: Over Fifty and Fine
October 6, 2022
Master your Mind
Tiny Pivots is All it Takes
Whether you’re stuck in a dead-end career, relationship or life, YOU CAN CHANGE IT.
One tiny pivot at a time.
You don’t have to change job/relationship/life if you can’t or don’t want to but if you’re unhappy, you can easily change the dynamics one tiny pivot at a time.
• Have the awkward conversation with that difficult colleague or boss (Just don’t do it while you’re feeling emotional if there is anger involved).
• Set boundaries for yourself in your relationship, friendship, family - the world will adjust.
• Work towards a personal goal every single day in some small way; a sip of water instead of treats; 10 minutes of movement instead of being a coach potato; read/study/practice instead of scrolling social media.
You get the idea.
Remember to subscribe for more relationship ideas that leave you happy and fulfilled.Because one tiny pivot each day creates a life worth living.
September 29, 2022
Date Night Arguments and How to Prevent Them
Date Night Arguments and How to Prevent Them
It’s Date Night.
Finally!
The stars have aligned with your schedules, the sitter, the kids’ activities. You can finally spend some quality time with your spouse away from the house.
https://unsplash.com/@claybanksIt’s been ages since you spent any "alone time" together. You've missed your partner. In fact, you have longed for uninterrupted time when you can connect and feel close. Time when there is time and space to feel like you did at the beginning of the relationship.
Time together is what inspired the other parts of your joint life. You know that you need relaxed and enjoyable time together or you will lose the spark. You already feel too much like ships passing in the night. You need to break free from feeling like roommates.
You’ve been imagining the date all week. You’ve pictured having fun, connecting, and being affectionate. You are looking forward to being able to relax and focus on one another.
It’s what you have been looking forward to for days.
But then…
Everything goes wrong. It all started with one irritation that spiraled into an argument.One of you ran late.You imagined that you could be spontaneous in deciding what to do on your date.The kids, the sitter, the neighbor made it hard to get out of the house.You are distracted by work, the kids, a problem, THE PHONE.A thoughtless comment, a sigh.
Immediately, the anticipation drains away. In a single moment, your hopes go up in smoke.
https://unsplash.com/@alicekatThere are 3 ways a date can implode:
1. The Non-Starter Date
A Non-Starter Date blows up at the beginning. It never gets off the ground due to unexpected (or expected) problems. One of you runs late, feels sick, or is tired. You argue about what to do on your date.
2. The Mid-Date Bomb
A Mid-Date Bomb is when one of you says or does the wrong thing and it tanks the whole night. Or, one of you doesn’t say or do something that seems thoughtless or insensitive.
3. Date Night “Expectations”
Date Night Expectations come in two forms. In the first, one partner has ideas about how the date “should” go. When they don’t go as planned (or hoped), they feel disappointed and frustrated. Underlying this problem is the belief that your partner "should" know you well enough that they do the things that are important to you. Alternatively, Date Night Expectations link the date with physical intimacy. "We went out, so we are definitely having sex tonight." Nothing kills the mood as fast as believing you “owe” your partner sex for spending time with you.Next thing you know, both of you get irritated, angry, and feel more disconnected than before. You start arguing to protest the injustice. Which is just like all of the injustices that have ever happened in the past.
You wonder if you chose the wrong partner. Where is the lovable person who started this journey with you?
Chances are, you chose the right person. But your marriage is starving. You aren’t spending enough time together to feel close or to solve problems. When this happens to any marriage, the couple argues on their dates.
But there is hope. You don’t have to argue on your dates.
Tips to Defusing Arguments on Date NightPut some rules/expectations around the date. Decide ahead of time or at the beginning what you both want.Table some touchy topics for another time.Give your partner 3 strikes to be less than perfect.Redirect the conversation if it heads down a touchy subject.Decide where to go ahead of time.Take turns planning the date.Use Conversation Questions to spark discussion about new topics.Schedule a problem solving/planning session a few days before your date.Have a low-key backup plan ready to go in case one of you is tired.Go on a date regularly (weekly/monthly).Reminisce about the good times in the relationship.Dream about your future when you can spend more time together.Do some of the things you both enjoyed at the beginning of the relationship.Give your partner a way to win by telling them what you need.Choose one or two of the tips and try them out. It's worth the effort so you can get what you want from the time you spend together. If it doesn't work, you can come back to the list and try something else.
Your time together is precious and rare. Don't sacrifice it to Date Night Arguing. When you argue on a date, you sacrifice your time together. Instead, plan ahead so you can defuse arguments before they even begin.
And, if you go on a date, and it turns into an argument, remember that even the best relationships experience this.
Cheri Timko is a Couples Relationship Coach and Psychotherapist who supports couples as they break the patterns of bickering and disconnection so they can have a close and connected relationship. You can read more about improving the communication in your relationship here: https://www.cheritimko.com/f/blog/7-essential-tips-to-talk-so-your-partner-will-listen.
Cheri Timko is a frequent guest blogger on Creating Sparks That Last. Her knowledge of couples and relationships is extensive and her experience speaks for itself in the value of her content. You can find more of her helpful advice on the following links:
Instagram: Cheri Timko Relationship Coach
Facebook: Synergy Coaching with Cheri Timko
LinkedIn: Cheri Timko
Remember to subscribe for more relationship ideas that leave you happy and fulfilled.
