Elora Canne's Blog, page 7

How to Win at Life

And Speak Yourself Up
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September is a big month in the year for most of us.
And for many different reasons.
Some of us are heading into Spring, others into Autumn. Some of our children are starting their school year and still others are planning their end-of-school-year strategies. So, a BIG month all round.
And here’s the most productive way I have found to cope with it all:

Speak yourself up

To be clear, I’m not talking look in the mirror tell yourself how drop dead gorgeous you are (because you are anyway), no, I’m talking about that voice in your head that talks yourself down! 

You know the one: Ugh this is the pits; I can’t do this; WTF - ENOUGH!

Time to flip the script: I CAN DO HARD THINGS; ONE MINUTE AT A TIME - LIKE LITERALLY - JUST ONE MINUTE AT A TIME; I’VE GOT THIS; MY LIFE ROCKS!

Doesn’t that feel so empowering!?

Okay, now it’s time to just show up, for yourself. Now is the time you get to look in the mirror and pep talk yourself with your best life-affirming mantra: I am enough! Strong enough, brave enough, lovable enough just as I am.

Out loud if you have, just speak yourself up, up, UP.

Have an awe-inspiring September beautiful people, and let me know how you’re speaking yourself up - what’s your go-to affirmation?

Join me on the socials where all the fun happens:

➩ Instagram

➩ Facebook

➩ Linktree

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Defining Love: Transient or Permanent?

 

What Is Love?

'Writer seeks 'wife' for a year on a tropical island.'The other day I asked for you, the reader, to define love in one word. I got some thoughtful answers which I'll list below. But before I do that, I want you to ask yourself what love means to you, firstly as an individual and secondly in a partnership.
Years ago, when my marriage was still young, I read an autobiography by Lucy Irvine called Castaway (NOT the Tom Hanks movie). This was an intentional project to live on Tuin Island, an uninhabited island off the northernmost coast of Australia, for a year. It began with a male writer advertising for a female to live with him and test their mettle of survival on Tuin Island.  
The catch, by Australian Officials standards, was that they had to be married in order to stay on the island. This did not please Lucy as G (as she calls him) expected more than just survival tactics from her. This caused deep introspection on both their parts, making for a delightful account of survival, travel and personal growth. Slowly, Lucy realised that she could change G's entire demeanour by giving him the one thing he wanted. In turn, he became most loving and warm towards her as opposed to his nasty words in the beginning. Lucy openly admits to not loving him and in an unfortunate twist of emotion, G had fallen in love with her from the beginning. Or was it simply suggestive of outcomes hoped for?

Love is so much more than physical touch. It is a deeply complex emotion and one that takes on many different forms in my opinion. 

Let's have a discussion about the concept of love as an emotion - potentially as fleeting as the emotions of anger or happiness. Do you agree that love presents as an emotion? Is it possible for love to be replaced by other emotions just as anger and happiness are? Just as anger simmers into forgiveness or happiness settles into contentment, so too, could love morph into compassion. 
I'm not saying this is a bad outcome, I believe it is very beneficial to a relationship, but what I'm trying to figure out is, can your love for someone change shape? Your ideas would help me identify feelings we have for our partners that expand our relationship into growth, rather than diminish it into stagnation.
Back to the notion of defining love in one word, here are some of the answers I received from readers:
* Understanding* Happiness* Compromise* Selfless* Self-love* Accepting* Sharing
Naturally there are as many interpretations as there are people on this earth and I would love to hear your opinion on defining the essence of love.
I look forward to reading your comments about this mysterious notion of love below, or join the discussion on the socials:
Come say hi over on - Instagram

Or find me on - Facebook



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You've Changed

Your Personal Growth Does Not Threaten Your Relationship You've changed. 
You are not the same person who your husband or wife married years ago. They are not the same person, either. 
You committed to your partner without knowing who they would become. Especially if you were young. 
It's part of the marriage package. 
People change over the years. You are not the same person at 40 that you were at 20. Thankfully. Because that 20-year-old hadn't experienced enough life to know what was what. At 20, our brains haven't even fully developed. 
You committed to your partner knowing that both of you would change. At least, you knew it in your head. If you think too hard about it, these agreements seem scary. 
We calm these fears by telling ourselves a myth: Couples in Close and Connected Relationships Grow Together. Their Marriage Lasts Because They Feel In-Sync and are on the Same Page. 
This simply isn't true. 
You are busy. You have many obligations, projects, goals, and dreams. For long periods of your relationship, your partner is not the primary focus of your life. And they're not supposed to be. Your partner takes a backseat to career building, parenting, parental caregiving, and personal growth. 
There's a lot to keep up with. Even when you share the same life, you will have different life experiences. Even when you live through the same events, you will experience them differently. This makes it more likely that you will feel disconnected and out-of-sync. 
Your relationship can take it. It has an elasticity that lets you grow and experience new things in life. 
The truth? 
The work of a long-term relationship is to feel close and connected despite the reasons to feel disconnected and out-of-sync. 

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Sometimes you will feel disconnected, lonely, frustrated, disappointed, and hurt by your partner. 

These are not signs that you married the wrong person. Instead, these feelings are reminders that you have some work to do so you feel close and connected again. 

They are a yellow flag that tells you that you are moving too far in different directions. And now is the time to turn some of your focus back to the relationship. 
The goal of a long-term relationship is not to grow in step with one another. It is to have rituals, tools, habits, and strategies that help you get to know your partner as they are right now. Understanding that both of you change over time. 
You're supposed to grow as a person. It's ok that your partner isn't in lock step with your growth. In fact, most partners grow in response to their partner, not with their partner. They may resist growing as a person and only do it after intense frustration. Whether you grow willingly or fight it, you will grow. 
Your personal growth does not threaten your relationship, if you bring your partner up to speed after you make changes. 
So, how do you maintain a happy, connected, in-sync long term relationship? 
Tips to Feel Close Through Personal Change: 
I could give you a list of ways to stay connected with your partner. In fact, I have in other places. As have many other relationship coaches, counselors, and experts. 
 --> You Already Know How to Connect 
It's the same way you always have in the past--talking, spending time together, working through problems, sharing inside jokes, achieving goals together. 
The reason that you don't is because: 
1. You don't prioritize working on your relationship. 
-Or- 
2. It feels awkward when you feel out of sync. 
Having a close relationship happens because you work at it. You can't wait for it to happen naturally. 
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You can take the awkward out of feeling disconnected by making connecting activities part of your routine or a habit. 
Practice habits to spend time together every day, talk regularly, be affectionate and intimate. Make it a regular part of your life so you can grow and stay connected. 
Your personal growth does not need to threaten your long-term relationship. However, you can make that growth easier on the relationship. 
P.S. If you go on a date, and you get into an argument, that's a sign that you are not spending enough time working through problems. If you don't want to argue on your date, work through problems at another time. But that's a topic for another day. 
Cheri Timko is a Couples Relationship Coach and Psychotherapist who supports couples as they break the patterns of bickering and disconnection so they can have a close and connected relationship. You can access a free Relationship Habit guide at www.cheritimko.com/freeresourcepage


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Self Care or Hustle

The remedy to hustle culture?

We’ve all been there. Caught in the scroll. One minute looking at an aesthetically pleasing post with icons depicting going for a bath, getting out in nature, and meditation. The next are posts on getting less sleep, waking up earlier, and working while other people party. 

Self-care or hustle. Happy or successful. Going by social media, it seems you can’t possibly have both.

Interestingly self-care is often seen as the remedy to too much hustle and the inevitable burnout from working too hard, for too long, on too little sleep. Prompting the question: Are we practicing self-care for the right reasons?

It’s a blurry line. Do we need self-care as a result of how hard we are working or do we need it simply to feel good within ourselves? 

In an ideal world, it would be the latter, we’d practice self-care because it feels good and it’s what we want to do. However, this is not an ideal world and we do not always get the option to do what feels good when we have a looming deadline, a job to go to, or a business to build. 

The concept of work-life balance is a tricky one. We are heavily incentivized by working harder. If you’re an entrepreneur it’s your livelihood on the line, taking time out can lead to losing clients, not appearing consistent, and failing to attract new clients in pursuit of growth. If you’re employed your job is on the line, taking too many days off can result in disciplinary action, may look like you can’t handle your job, or take you out of the running for the next promotion.

With too many of us stressed and at the point of burnout before we start to take self-care seriously here are three top tips to maximize your self-care practice.

Think about what self-care is for you. Maybe a bath is right up your street or maybe you’d prefer to go rock climbing. Self-care is not what graphics on social media say they are. Self-care is individual to you. Choose the right self-care for you.

Set aside time for self-care and start small. If taking a day off gives you palpitations then no amount of self-care will counteract that. Start with 30 minutes and build-up to the point where taking a day off doesn’t feel like the end of the world.

Find a self-care accountability buddy. A trusted friend who doesn’t stand for any excuses. One that will support you to get the self care you need. However, don’t forget this is a challenge, they can support you but cannot do it for you.

Remember self-care is a practice. This means that you have to do it more than once. When you feel like it and when you don’t. Often, we play ourselves at the bottom of the totem pole. Everyone else’s needs come first - sound familiar? If you’ve lived this way for a number of years, raising children or being the go-to person in your career then it will take time to build the skill of self-care and taking time for yourself.

And the next time you’re caught up in the scroll remember it’s not a case of one or the other, you can have both. In fact, you need both.

--

Rebecca Laidlaw

Confidence Coach and Business Wing Woman

Free Coaching Community: 

https://www.facebook.com/groups/confidentconsistentcoaches

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Staycation vs Vacation

Micro Tourism: Is there value to be found in it? https://unsplash.com/@kylejglenn

This will be my last blogpost for a while, and for very good reason. I am celebrating two huge milestone birthdays with loved ones over the next couple of months. Both my mom and father-in-law will be visiting us for 3 months from overseas. This is our first post-covid-lockdown gathering, so we are all tremendously excited.
Fear not, I am leaving you in capable hands as I have lined up some incredible articles for you from guest bloggers I am well acquainted with.
You will hear from Confidence Coach and Business Wing Woman, Rebecca Laidlaw who talks us through self-care and balancing the social media scroll.
Appropriately named as 'soulhappysuccess' you will find her wise advice at the link: soulhappysuccess
Look out for her article next Friday, 29 July 2022.

In May this year, I interviewed Couples' Relationship Coach, Cheri Timko on Instagram. You can find our chat here: Relationship Habits with Cheri TimkoCheri has two articles for us over the next few weeks as she discusses personal growth within a relationship, and her second article will discuss date night arguments and how to prevent them! 
In the meantime, Cheri has a wealth of information on how to make the best of your relationships, which you can find here: synergy.couples

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I will be sure to pop in from time to time and keep you updated on our celebrations and staycation happenings with our family.
Staycation vs VacationI have written extensively about my relationship with my mom in my memoir, En Route, covering about 6 weeks of travel together on our gap year travels. 
From the perspective of being the 'baby' in the family to re-learning my adult relationship in our mature years. It is full of the wisdom of growth and appreciation within a close knit family setting, to the far flung corners of the earth. 
Our relationship was forced to grow and strengthen across the globe as James and I made the decision to leave all that was familiar behind us, and forge a new life in the Great Southern Land, Australia. Against all odds, we have managed to maintain a strong bond and a loving relationship.
Whether your relationship in the parenthood arena is one of child to maturity or parenting your own children, you will find value in the discoveries I have made in my role as both child and parent through my observations, failings and successes.
I recommend sharing the value of my findings with your own adult children or parents in this lovingly crafted memoir of road trips and relationships: EN ROUTE The Best Is Yet To Be

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Micro-Tourism: Is there value to be found in it?
In light of Cheri Timko's upcoming article on date night arguments and how to prevent them, I present to you my flounderings and outbursts and ultimately, deep understanding of mine and James' date year experiment in our dating journal, Creating Sparks that Last. 
As you might have noticed it is of the same name as my blog which you are currently reading because it was that date year experiment that sparked my interest in sharing our midlife foray into the dating world.
We would never have learnt as much as we did about each other if we had not embarked on our monthly dates to reignite our relationship. I suggest you read it together with your partner as you will gain perspective of each other from both mine and James' findings. It is a short read, taking no longer than 90 minutes: Creating Sparks That Last eBook
As relationships are constantly evolving with changing circumstances and just…life, I am always interested in learning of other people's growth within a family or relationship setting and would love to hear any tips or advice you might have picked up along the way. Drop them in a comment below and remember to subscribe so you don't miss any of our upcoming transformative articles.

Bye for now!


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Karma is a Mirror

 The Humility of the Cover Art Overlooking the hills of Tuscany at sunset from the courtyard of San GimignanoPhotograph by yours truly, Elora Canne

To continue our exploration of seeing EN ROUTE through the eyes of the author, I'm going to give you sneak peek into the humility that surrounds the cover of my memoir.

• What scene resonated with you most on a personal level? (Why? How did it make you feel?)

Let me start by saying, ouch, the fact that this photograph ended up being the cover of my memoir is beyond ironic! I had read a memoir about the Montepulciano region in Italy and really wanted to visit the area, alas we couldn't get there and visited San Gimignano instead. So to begin with, we weren't even meant to be there and that ended up being my book cover.

Secondly!!! Secondly, my husband and I both took a sunset photo through the same arch at the same time and I wholeheartedly bragged that my photo was better. (It was, despite being off-centre!) Nevertheless, once we were home I had the photograph enlarged and framed and hung it on our wall. Not only as a brag, but because I truly loved it. It fell off the wall and smashed. And smashed. And smashed. Yip, you read that right. My picture fell and smashed three times! 

Karma is a mirror you see. I had bragged so brazenly about my photo that it had to become scratched and marked for me to understand that casting myself as a better photographer did not mean a thing in the larger picture of life. Humble pie anyone?

• If the book were made into a movie, who would play each of the lead characters?

I actually asked my family this question as they feature in my book, both the young and older versions of themselves. My younger self would be Emma Watson and the 40+ version of me would be Julia Roberts.

Some of their choices (which I'll leave anonymous for their privacy) are:

Kit Harington

Saul Berenson

Justin Timberlake

Leonardo di Caprio

Sienna Miller

Kate Hudson

Jim Carrey

Diane Keaton

Jack Nicholson

Reese Witherspoon

Drew Barrymore

Rachel McAdams

Mark Ruffalo

Sean Connery

Dame Judi Dench

Charlize Theron

Salma Hayek

And this is why!

I just adore her #celebritycrush

• What were the power dynamics between the author and her companions, and how did that affect their interactions?

The people-pleaser in me drove the majority of the story, but as my personal growth unfolds through my observations of my other companions and how they interacted with each other, so my personal power started to establish itself. Self-empowerment helped me find my voice. 

• How does the way the author see herself, differ from the way others see her?

Stubborn vs Determined

Shy vs Introverted

Acquiescent vs Tolerant

• Were there times you disagreed with an authors’ actions? What would you have done differently?

As the author I would hasten to add that my actions were not always honorable. I get impatient. What can I say? I'm human.

• What solutions does the author propose? Are the author's recommendations concrete, sensible, doable? 

The entire last chapter is a journey within, offering lifestyle and relationship solutions that worked for me. So yes, I'd say they are sensible, doable and concrete, but you'll have to read the book to know what they are.

• What have you learned after reading this book? Has it broadened your perspective about a difficult issue—personal or societal? 

The critical thinking style that both my sons adopted through their studies definitely broadened my perspective on societal issues. The actual Gap Year itself is what pivoted my view on my relationship with my husband and my friends and family who travelled with us.

• Do the issues affect your life? How so—directly, on a daily basis, or more generally? Now or sometime in the future?

My near-40-year marriage has thrived/is thriving as a result of the take aways from our trip. Learning and seeing new sides to each other that would otherwise never have been exposed in the daily humdrum of life helped us tremendously.
Now that you've read my responses, I am bursting at the seams to hear yours!
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If you missed part one of potential book club questions,  CLICK HERE to find them.
To find out more about my lifestyle changes, hacks and personal growth tips, click this link for my memoir: EN ROUTE The Best Is Yet To Be Available in ebook or paperback.
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Road Trips and Relationships

What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
This photo really annoyed me! But I'll tell you more about that in a minute. It was taken as we ascended our way out of the depths of Bright Angel Trail in the Grand Canyon.
As you might know, my memoir, En Route, takes us on a trip around the world. Within those travels, comes the unraveling of our relationship and a stealthy dose of personal growth, inspiration and life lessons thrown in. But this is not a review. The purpose of today's blog post is to invite the reader behind the eyes of the author. To see the unraveling take place and to understand her motivation for writing her life on the pages of a book for all to read.
Below, are a few questions you might find helpful in feeling the emotions behind the decisions that the author has made.

• What is the significance of the title?

En Route suggests moving towards a destination, and the subtitle, The Best Is Yet To Be, indicates that better things are to come. It is a line from the poem by Robert Browning, and the line that stopped me in my tracks goes like this, Grow old along with me, the best is yet to be. It's about never giving up and about getting through the hard times, for better times ahead.

• How honest do you think the author was? 

I can vouch for the author's full disclosure and open honesty, because I am she.

• What aspects of the story could you most relate to?

This one I can't answer on the reader's behalf, so I would be intrigued to hear your opinion, either from the book itself, or from the following admissions by me, in these answers.

•Why do you think the author chose to write their memoir?

In the writing of En Route, I gave my all. On some days I had to go for long walks after writing certain passages just to calm my high emotions. For this reason I can truthfully say, I wrote my memoir so that others like me, people-pleasers, reserved personalities and conformists could find their voice and the courage to speak up, speak out and speak their truth.

• How did you feel about the ending? 

As the narrator of the unfolding events, the story became about as much as my personal growth as it did about building my relationships. Not only my marriage but family and friends who joined us on our trip as well. The ending indicates the arrival of 'finding self' amidst the clamor of life and all its demands.

The Planet D

• How has the author changed by the end of the book?

Immensely. Braver, bolder, confident in my self-worth.

• Have any of your personal views changed because of this book? If so, how?

As I've bared myself above you can clearly see how my personal views have changed. If you have read En Route it would fill me with gratitude to know how it has changed your personal views as well.

• What scene would you point out as the pivotal moment in the narrative? How did it make you feel?

The Planet D

I promised to tell you more about the Bright Angel Trail photo at the beginning of the article. This was my pivotal moment in our Gap Year of insight and marital understanding. We had literally ascended the trail after a strenuous and stressful hike. I had berated myself for not being more astute about our surroundings in case of an emergency and James had voiced his irritation with my constant questioning for reassurance; are you ok, how do you feel, watch your step etc - nothing annoying about that right?

As we reached the top of Bright Angel Trail we truly felt better aligned as a couple, and I as an individual with a healthier understanding of what it means to be a wife vs a carer. So I wanted photo's that depicted our feeling of being on top of the world. This was my result! I felt knee-deep in chafe instead of victoriously on top of the world. Another life lesson - I am not in control of every situation. As the penguin caption above indicates - the certain way to be wrong is to think you control it - marriage, life, outcomes. 

This is the end of Part 1 for potential book club questions. I'd really value your feedback regarding the suitability of question choices. The reason being is that I would like to propose a book club outline to my local library who has En Route catalogued in their collection.

Next week I'll conclude Part 2 of my question list and would be thrilled to add any suggestions of your own. Leave a comment to tell me what questions you would ask if you belonged to a book club. 

Secret admission: I've never belonged to a book club. Ok wait that's a lie. I lived in Michigan for 9 months and went to one book club session - ever. It's not that I didn't enjoy it, it was that I felt intimidated by the members' knowledge, detail, descriptions and opinions of the story we had read, Little Bee, plus I hadn't had time to finish before the meeting took place because I was still so new to the area and had only just discovered them a short while before their next meeting. 

WOW have I changed now! 

I have an opinion

and I am not afraid to use it.

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Book Clubs

I'm interested to know if authors set their own questions for their book to be discussed in book clubs, or are there formal guidelines that need to be followed?

Reset Your Intentions

Are Your Goals Getting Away From You?On 2 July 2022, we'll be exactly halfway through the year. You’ve achieved some of your goals but others might not have worked out as you expected. So let’s reset our intentions for the second half of the year.
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What direction do you want the rest of your year to go in?• Do you want to take your career up a notch?• Perhaps pivot your business ventures completely?• Maybe it’s your health and well-being you want to reset?• Or perhaps you want to enhance the quality of your relationships with the myriad people in your life?
It’s not too late:Take 10 minutes right now to see yourself succeeding in your workplace: home-life, corporate or small business.
I know that you love what you have envisioned for yourself and you want it so badly. And you CAN achieve it. Whatever it might be.
The solution:Start today!
As a writer, I’ve only recently built the habit of writing regularly. Sounds obvious right? I used to only write when inspiration flowed, now I engineer my success with even as few as 100 words per day. That is my goal as a writer; to write.
All it takes is one small mindset adjustment and you will engineer your day, work, life, relationships, for success too.
Come with me as we clear the fog and forge your way ahead https://unsplash.com/@7th_verse
Mid-Year RevivalAre you ready for your mid-year revival?
Your personal goals and strategies are unique to you, but there are universal steps you can take that will steer you closer to achieving them.
First things first:Find the fire in your belly that you had in January for the start of all things new.Can you feel the urgency you had to start afresh?
Secondly:Zone into that feeling and notice the tiny spark of thought that enters your head.Did you accomplish what you set out to do?• If yes, take it one step further, bigger, to dynamite level!• If no, what can you do to achieve it now? A walk? A phone call? Research, or even a course to amplify your skills?
And lastly:Congratulate yourself for making progress towards your goals, dreams and aspirations.
I am proud of you for taking these steps to reset your intentions to fill your joyometer right up!
Share your success in the comments so we can have a cyber celebration!
https://unsplash.com/@ninjason
🎶 Don’t stop me now, I’m having a good time yeah! 🎶
If you want to launch your life into the stratosphere of exceeding joy and achievement join me on the socials and let’s get it done!
Find me here: Facebook

And here: Instagram
And if you really want to know how I crafted my success through tears, tantrums and hair-pulling, so you don’t have to, check it out here: EN ROUTE: The Best Is Yet To Be
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Soul in the Game

 The Art of a Meaningful Life

by Vitaliy Katsenelson
Book ReviewVitaliy Katsenelson captures the delight in living a life in learning mode. By this I mean that he demonstrates how to be curious about new subjects and how to be open to learning more about subjects we are already familiar with.
He shows us how to grow in sync with the maturity of our children, how to lead a business with a growth mindset encouraging the strengths of colleagues to shine in their role. Vitaliy also shows us the art of personal development in an ever-changing world. He draws parallels between classical music and the pain of learning through perceived failure. The wisdom of his father is woven into the fabric of his understanding of the world around him from an art vs craft perspective.
Vitaliy emigrated to America from Russia and forged a successful career in investing, ultimately starting his own business. His interest in writing began with articles on stocks and became such a passion for him that he began to include life lessons and snippets of classical music in his newsletter and reports. Thus was born his desire to write a life manual as such, for himself, his family and broader society.
Excerpts My Kindle eReader tells me that I highlighted 56 passages from the book! However, I will highlight just a few of my very favourite ones here:
On relationships:Traditions are like that. The connecting tissue (dough) of traditions are memories. We string them together when we do things together with our family. This is a part of life that really resonates with me. Time with family, whether our grandparents, parents, siblings, children, grandchildren, partner or extended family and friends is like comfort food to our soul.
On Mindfulness:Begin at once to live and count each separate day as a separate life. A life bookended by sunrise and sunset. This really struck a chord with me, since we wake up each morning with a fresh outlook, we should not mar it with the mistakes and grudges of yesterday.
On Personal Growth:Writing also rewired how I observed life around me. I started to pay attention to little things, often turning them into metaphors. This is personal to me because I am only new in the art of writing and I felt this deeply regarding the rewiring of my brain. In observation of life around me and the people in it.

Soul in the Game: The Art of a Meaningful Life ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐Reading this book gave me a fresh outlook on my relationship with myself first and foremost. I learnt that I do not need to, and indeed cannot, be liked by every human on this earth and to be okay with that. In fact, Vitaliy showed me how to be comfortable with that. 
Learning about the Stoics was an interest of mine many years ago, but I didn't research the subject nearly as thoroughly as Vitaliy. The quote that I kept from my study of Stoicism is this: For the Stoics, reason meant not only using logic, but also understanding the processes of nature, the universal reason in all things. They continue: If someone is unkind, it is because they are unaware of their own universal reason, which leads to the conclusion of kindness. The solution: To examine one's own judgements and behaviour and determine where they diverge from the universal reason of nature.
This follows the gist of Soul in the Game in that we should be examining our own responses and reactions to events before we judge someone else's. To accept their reasoning is to accept that we cannot always convince someone else to agree with us.
My rating is a solid 5 stars because the book is a deep study on self and life, not only for the author but for the reader as well.
Soul in the Game releases on 21 June 2022 and is available on Amazon:
Soul in the Game: The Art of a Meaningful Life

Deeper insight and resources from Vitaliy Katsenelson are available at the link:
Soul in the Game

Highly recommended!


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