Ani Rich's Blog, page 17

You Can’t Afford Everything You Can Buy

You can buy many things but you can’t afford it all. 

Most people buy things with credit cards and also have huge loans. All they do is basically work to pay the debt, which is way more than what their income can pay for. 

If you are financing a car that costs $30K You at LEAST should have $10K in savings. If not then go and buy a reliable, used car for $5k which may not be brand new and you can’t brag with it, but at least it will be yours and you will be able to afford it. 

Another example is when people buy luxury items. If you are buying a watch or a handbag that costs $1000 you have to be okay with scratching, damaging, or losing that item.

I think that you can’t truly afford something until you can take that item and throw it away and be okay with it. If you can’t afford it you will be so attached to taking care of that thing that you will literally attract damaging it. 

I see so many people buying homes and brand new cars when they can’t afford it. Some of them only “buy” it because it’s brand new or to keep up with their surroundings. Some even think they will be more valuable as humans if they drive an expensive car or buy a big home.

Before you buy something ask yourself is it something you can truly afford? If the answer is NO find a more affordable way to get what you want.  

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Where is God?!

The following story happened in real life. It’s a true story told by me with my own interpretation. Meaning it’s not the exact quotation.

Long Story very short…

The guy was drunk. Friends came to his house so they could go out. His mom standing outside as she said goodbye to his son, she also added “God be with you”. Son was drunk and as a joke responded to his mom “There is no space in the car, but he can sit in the trunk” and left.

In several hours there was the car crash. The same car… Everyone inside died. The whole car was fallen apart and damaged, EXCEPT THE TRUNK. The trunk was completely whole and there were even eggs in the trunk completely untouched. 

Look, God is always with us, within our reach. But he never forces himself to us. We have the free will to decide whether or not to let him into ourselves. It’s our decision to make whether or not if we tap into his energy and become one with the creator. You can call it the universe, force, God, Allah, Muhammad, energy… You can call it whatever you want. But what matters is that whatever you call to it you have to let it inside and be connected to that force.

I believe that God is everywhere and nowhere. He is at every place and at no place at all. He is “omnipotent (all-powerful), omniscient (all-knowing), omnipresent (all-present), and omnibenevolent (all-good)”. I also see him as a force, a supernatural being that is the spirit of all spirits. We human beings are very powerful if connected to one’s true self and spirit, but still, we are natural beings and not supernatural ones.

The sun is always shining. When we don’t see it and it’s dark outside it doesn’t mean that the sun has stopped shining. It just means that we ourselves on the earth have rotated away from it. So is god always shining his love on us, it’s just sometimes we refuse to tap into it and welcome him inside of us.

So the question here is; God is always within us, but are you within him?

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This Is How You Can Have It All

Life is like a dance. You go forward and backward, to the left or to the right and sometimes you spin and other times you spin uncontrollably. 

In today’s world, people often say “You Can Have It All”. I think that’s what we thrive for, to have it all; A family, good job, health, happiness, joy, wealth, money…

Often times we might have all, but get it at different times, one by one. 

Also, anything is possible, you might have it all, but that doesn’t mean you get to enjoy them equally at the same time. 

Here are 3 truths

1. Perfection doesn’t exist.

2. You can’t physically give your 100% to everything and everyone in your life.

3. IT IS OKAY

You don’t need to stress about it. Pay attention to what I said. I didn’t say that you can’t stress about it, I said that you don’t NEED to stress about it. If you are a volunteer victim and enjoy being nervous about everything in your life then by all means go for it. 

I guess you are a human being who just wants to feel good about his or her life and herself. 

Remember at different times different people and different things get to be our priority. So the question you need to ask yourself every single day when you wake up, is “What is my priority today” and as the day goes you have to ask yourself hour by hour, minute by minute “What is my priority right now” or “What is my priority for the next hour”…

Some days your child is a priority, other days it’s yourself. Some days your wife needs you the most other days your job needs your all.

It’s all about being in the moment and doing whatever the moment is asking from you. 

To finish the blog I will say to you. You will not have it all if that’s what you are attached to.

If having all is your goal then having nothing is what you’ll get.

Your goal should be for you to be grounded, connected to yourself and to the universe, having joy in life, and fulfilling your needs and dreams. To have people in your life to whom you feel connected and to get the sense of having a community from those people.

To just be and enjoy that being.

Then things will work itself out and somehow you will learn to enjoy your life even when you don’t like it. You will learn to surrender to the universe and let go of the notion that you are in control. When you learn to be present with whatever is your present your life becomes so much lighter.

When you will be okay without having anything, that’s when you get everything. And even then everything doesn’t look like having every damn thing.

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Tow Pillars of Love. Why couples need to be separated to become more close

NOTE: The intention of sharing my relationship as an example is simply to bring an example. This is not me complaining about my life, this is me sharing it. Some will resonate others will not and that is okay. 

Recently I and my husband really got tired of each other and being together 24/7.

That is totally normal. Here is why;

For the past year, we have been traveling with a van and with a 3-year-old. Plus we don’t have our family here in the US so we can’t leave him with anyone for not even an hour. Also when you travel and move a lot you don’t have a lot of friends. And even before traveling, for the past 4 years me being a stay at home mom and him being unhappily employed, we hang out with each other 95% of the time. Because having a child without outside help, makes a couple dependent on each other. 

Living together in a small space isn’t a problem itself. You can still do whatever you want and vice versa your partner can do the same. The hard part is being in a small space with a toddler. Having a small child forces you to be dependent on your partner. 

To be honest, our son is a very good child, but he’s still a toddler and needs constant attention, energy, presence, interaction. All that takes up energy and mental space. At this point, we are both very tired and none of us has the energy to stay with our son alone. Because here’s the truth we don’t want to. We don’t want to find the energy, because it gets drained from us. The reason is that we want to do so many more things outside our family. And I know so many people with kids can resonate with that. You want to go out with a friend after work or have fun on the weekend. But you need to be home with kids and help your partner or help each other.

We are very open and always try to communicate with each other. I was telling him that I miss, missing him. 

As much as being close is important and having quality time together, I firmly believe that the couple needs space in between them. 

Esther Perel Said “Love rests on two pillars: surrender and autonomy. Our need for togetherness exists alongside our need for separateness.”

This is truly a paradox, but it’s true. We need to be together as much as we need to be separated. But there should be a balance between those two. There should be a perfect amount of both in the relationship. Not too separated because we have a saying in my country “If eye gets further from an eye, the heart also gets further from a heart”. Not too close because that way your relationship just becomes boring. 

There is another factor. If I and my husband could have left our son with my mom and traveled without him, things would have been different. Even though we would have been in the same small van, even if we have been together 24/7 things would have been easier. Because we would still have change happening in our lives, we would have been seeing new places every single day and that would bring excitement into our relationship. We could have watched a movie, meditate, read, walk, sleep whenever we wanted. Because we are traveling with the kid means that you get 3 hours a day. 2 hours during the day when he naps and 1 hour after he sleeps at night. And the truth is that at that time you are too exhausted to do anything. 

Having a change is a must. Relationships take work. As often as you can, as hard as possible, as long as you both live. So many relationships could have and should have worked if they did just a little bit more work. If they had spent more effort improving themselves rather than trying to change their partners. If they had more compassion, patience, and willingness for their love to thrive. 

It’s a myth that you find THE ONE and everything works perfectly. The myth is the part where you think that THE ONE shouldn’t take so much work and time and effort if it’s “Truly THE ONE”. In fact, when you do find YOUR PERSON it takes even more work and effort to maintain that gift from the universe. 

My mom would always say that getting married is easy, maintaining it is the real challenge. I never understood what she was saying until I myself got married. 

If you don’t have the habit of improving and growing your relationship as much as you can, as often as possible, if you don’t have a habit of taking care of relationships and making it a priority things will crumble. Every time you make the wrong choice you will be one step closer to divorce or ruining the relationship. Because first there is a little crack and as time goes by crack becomes a hole and it gets harder and harder to fill it up.

What is that your relationship needs now, today? What steps can you take to improve your relationship? What is it that if you keep doing it will ruin your relationship with your partner? Is it your unhealthy words, actions, reactivity, not being enough with your family, or spending too much time with them, your drinking problem, or that you don’t control your emotions? Is it because you always blame your partner and never take responsibility or because you are always complaining? It can be so many things. Find out what your relationship needs more of and start doing it. Most importantly do it consistently.

Consistency is key. People do something once or for a day. Of course, then nothing changes and they go back to old unhealthy habits. You need to be consistent in your relationships if you want anything to work.

Do whatever you need to help your relationship thrive. Because you might live with your partner for 50 years and hate him or her. The goal here is to be in a thriving, growing, healthy, happy relationship. The goal is for good days to be more than bad days. Perfection doesn’t exist. Some periods of relationship you might have to do more at other times your partner will be one “saving” it. Sometimes you both will be into it and there will be a period of calm before the storm. What shouldn’t happen is both of you to stop trying and be “out of it”, if that happens things will fall apart. 

 There is always a solution there is always the time and space for change. If you have the willingness to do so. 

PS. I and hubby also found a short-term solution, before we figure out the long term one. Do you know how they say Happy Wife, Happy Life?! Well, my husband learned that lesson very well and gave me 4 nights alone( I know that’s everyone’s dream as a mom yes?!). Look there is always a way, you just need to find it.

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To the men; I’m sorry! I see you!

To the men who think they can’t get advice from a woman! Here are some reasons why you can listen to me;

My grandfather died from excessive use of alcoholMy uncle was a heavy drug userMy father used drugs and alcoholMy father-in-law is an alcoholicEven though my own husband does none of the mentioned above. I’ve seen him numb himself with sugar, social media, computer games. I have also seen him working on himself, becoming conscious, and having huge progress. I myself have a 3-year-old boy. So I’m very much familiar with how the man/boy brain works and develops! I’m seeing where it all startsPlus I analyze every single man I talk to or see and observe and learn them very carefully

So I’m very familiar with how man use all sorts of things to numb themselves so they can avoid the most painful thing there is for them -FEELING-

Unfairness Towards Men

There is one thing I really want to talk about. That is the unfairness towards men.

I see very often comments like; “Every men is a jerk”, “all men are the same”, “Fuck men”, “We don’t need men”….

I really do not enjoy all those comments from my fellow women. I love men. Men are the best. They make my life complete. Masculine and feminine energies both are needed on this planet, for each other. The opposite, but complementary forces. 

We Want Men To Become Women

On the other hand, women want men to be, act, talk, breath, think the way they want them to. And if they don’t then “men are jerks”. We ask men to be truthful, to be emotional, to be real and authentic, to talk whatever they think, and to show us how they feel. And the moment they do we shame them. (Also to be fear guys treat women as men, but this blog isn’t about that!)

Living in Hawaii I observed and talked to many people from the navy or to military guys. There was only one man that seemed for me that was conscious and aware and wasn’t consumed by trauma and wasn’t numb.

Sometimes Men Need To Be Numb

Do you know why are men that way? Because they have to! Can you imagine sending a conscious, spiritual, aware guy to the front line to kill other people and save the lives of others?! No! Because he would go crazy. You need to be numb and not feel the pain. You need not be aware and not realize what’s happening to you when you are in the military or when you are doing the “tough job”. Can you even imagine a spiritual guy working for 8-9 hours a day on a construction site?! No, because he wouldn’t be able to do so.

Similarly to military guys or workers, men are still men. They were raised to be tough, not to show any emotion, they were raised to be the haunters and “killers”, they were raised to be animals, they were raised by unconscious mothers, who taught their kids wrong things because that’s how the time was and that’s how they needed to raise their boys. 

Now time has changed and we ask men to completely change their DNA and become a WOMAN. To feel and be emotional, talking, crying and sharing. WE want them to be not who they are, but to be like us women. And don’t forget if they become as we are we lose interest in them.

Don’t get me wrong I’m not saying that it’s okay for men to be rude and disrespectful towards women. It’s not okay to bring suffering to any being; men or women, animals or trees, literally to any being.

The Big But

Men I got you! I understand you! There is a big fat BUT here. I do not think you have to become all talkative and emotional, unless you are like that by default. But you don’t need to avoid feeling anymore. I know there was a time and maybe still is where men weren’t “allowed” to feel, to cry, to be emotional. I know you were told that big boys don’t cry and many awful things… THOSE ARE JUST LIES. You don’t have to believe them anymore.

Yes, you got fucked up somewhere along the way, as we all did, but staying in that fucked up state right now is your choice and only yours. 

Do you know when you are truly powerful? Not when you are the “man” in the family, not when you treat your kids like they are in the military, not when you treat your wife like she’s not an emotional being, not when you don’t let women feel because your right to feel was taken from you early on.

 YOU ARE POWERFUL when you stop your life and reflect, when you realize you were fucked up by your parents, friends, society, rules… And when you take your own power back from all the people who diminished it, in the first place.

When you take all the power in your hands and decide not to stay in that hole anymore, when you take responsibility for your own life and stop blaming all the people from your past, when you say “I didn’t got myself here, but I have the power to take myself out from here” and then actually use that power. That’s when YOU’RE POWERFUL, when you use your own power to grow yourself for better. Only by changing yourself you can change anyone and anything. Only by setting up an example you can lead other people.

Actions always speak louder than words!

You Have A Permision To Feel

Listen men! You don’t need to be numb anymore. That doesn’t mean you have to get all emotional and act like us women. What I mean is that you can allow yourself to feel. You can allow yourself to be sad and happy. To be fulfilled and unfulfilled, you can be however you feel as long as your behavior words and actions will not bring suffering and pain to others. If you are sad you can allow yourself to feel sadness. If you want to cry just cry. If you see a beautiful girl just go and say hi, you don’t need to man up and play a cool macho role, you don’t need to pretend that you don’t care, because you do. And it’s ok to do so.

If you aren’t letting yourself feel, the anger will consume you sooner or later. All this stuck energy, all these unfelt emotions will manifest itself in anger, depression, suffering. That’s why many men start doing drugs, drinking alcohol, playing video games, become addicted to porn, and women. They start working day and night, they even use the gym and working out, to numb themselves. The pain gets so unbearable that they literally can’t handle it anymore so they just numb it. 

How To Start Feeling Again

This topic could be another blog itself. there is no right or wrong answer. There is no one answer. Only thing I want to tell you, the only thing that matters is that you have to go back to your roots. You have to become aware. You have to find why you are the way you are, why you do everything that you do. The answer is only in your childhood, in your parents and upbringing. If you find the roots than you can make a fundamental shift.

But to be honest there is another way too. You can just get up and simply decide to change. You can just make a decision to change your life for good and do so. You can just fully let go of your past, not start to dig it, and just live in your present moment. You can just rebuild yourself for your future self. You can just change it all! Just because you can!

Awareness is truly the Key here!

How do you become aware? You pay attention to yourself and your actions. You pay attention to every word that comes in your ear and every word that leaves your mouth. You ask yourself questions you never asked before. You have to question every negative or positive thought you have. You have to come up with the intention for everything you do or say in life. You have to stay with yourself and make a connection with your inner consciousness and really try to understand what you feel and why you feel what you feel. You have to make sense of yourself. You have to be present with whatever you are doing. You have to live in the moment. Also, don’t expect to find all the answers at once. It takes time to learn how to listen to your inner intelligence, how to listen to the voice inside. You have to learn how to find the higher consciousness in you in order to find the answers. You have to be ready to learn and expand, and you have to become aware of yourself and your actions in order to see in which aspect of your life you need to grow.

“A Missing Drop” -quote from my own book

In order to change or improve yourself first, you have to find yourself and reconnect to thyself. Finding one’s self always is unique to an individual and looks different for us all!

"I said, “In America, there’s a debate about what makes a good Morani, a good warrior, a good man.

And there are people who think that what makes a good Morani is strength and fierceness and toughness.

There are other people that think what makes for a good Morani is sensitivity and tenderness and love.

What do you guys think? Which is it?”

And this little guy, I swear must’ve been four foot three, 100 years old, sets his little finger out and goes … And it just translated and this is a rough version of what he said but it’s true to what he said.

He said, “I have no interest in talking to you about what makes a good Morani.

I have only interest in talking to you about what makes a great Morani.

So now let me tell you, when the moment calls for fierceness, a good Morani is a killer. When the moment calls for tenderness, a good Morani takes down his sword and shield and is sweet like a baby.

A great Morani knows which moment is which.”"

Further Reading

Should Men Be Tough Or Tender?: Wisdom and Masculinity

http://www.awakenedintent.com/blog/protection-thrust-reclaiming-the-healthy-masculinehttps://www.scienceofpeople.com/masculinity/

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An Awareness Of Death Encourages Us To Live More Intensely

Fear Of Death Is Real

My whole life I was afraid of death. I wasn’t even thinking about it, not alone talking about it. The thought itself of me dying was so scary and painful that I would immediately let it go and not think about it as much as I could.

Giving Birth Made Me Mortal

When I was 20 years old I gave birth to my son. That was the first time that death became very real to me. The first time I realized that I’m mortal. I was holding this precious baby boy, looking at him and suddenly fear consumed my being. What if I die, who will take care of him. What will be his future, how would he cope? Then I remembered the scene from the TV show “One Tree Hill” where Peyton thinks she’s going to die after giving birth.  So she starts recording tapes for her child. I imagined myself being in that situation, that I too would record tapes. Then I became even more scared. Because emotion is a reaction to thought my heart started beating faster and faster, I wanted to cry.  

Then I decided to let go of those thoughts and be with my baby, I forgot about everything that happened and continued my life as if death isn’t real. 

Awareness Is Key

One very important thing happened that night. Awareness arrived in my mind. Awareness of death. Even though I haven’t consciously changed my behavior or my life after that day, my subconscious has changed. When you become aware of something, even if you don’t consciously implement it in your everyday life, you are going to change. The awareness will work itself up and will not leave you alone until it reminds you of itself. And the process will repeat itself over and over again. You will have flashbacks of the feeling and emotions, which will manifest itself in different situations at different times.

3 years have passed after I gave birth to my son. The more time goes the more I realize that death is as real as life, even more, it’s inevitable. To be born means that you have to die one day or another. Life is circular. There is birth and then there is death. After that circle completes itself, there is another birth and death, and it goes on and on, forever. 

COVID Advantage

When Covid-19 happened, even more so I realized how little control I have over my fate. On another note, I also became aware of what I do have control of; MY THOUGHTS! The body is a servant of a mind. The only thing I can control is to take care of me as much as I can. That means not eating the food my body can’t tolerate, sleeping as much as I need, moving my body as much as in wants, let go of the past and most importantly open my heart and declutter my thoughts.

Nobody’s Perfect

Do you think I’m doing all of mentioned above all the time, every day? No. Because life is circular. Some days I’m into it and other days I’m out of it. But I do think that If I put more effort into it, to practice living every single day as my last, I could do it. I could do it most of the time. 

Even in that situation, I’m aware of myself not doing my maximum because I prioritize different things at different times and different people at different stages of my life. 

I know that this awareness of mine will grow wider over time and will immerge into my being. I know that one day I will wake up and I realize that I don’t fear death anymore because I live my life so consciously and fully that I would be okay leaving earth anytime. 

You Attract What You Give

Fear of death attracts death. Like energy attracts each other. Gratitude for life will attract, a life full of gratitude. It’s just how it all works. Pain attracts pain, love attracts love, hate attracts hate, gratitude attracts gratitude. There is no point in fearing death because you have no control over it whatsoever. But there is huge meaning in living your life with the awareness of death, so you can fully enjoy your life and live it as it already is your last. Be born in bliss and die in bliss, without regrets full of life and spiritual accomplishments.

“Only those who live in the wilderness can recognize the central truth of existence, which is that death lives right beside us at all times, as close and as relevant as life itself and that this reality is nothing to fear but is a sacred truth to be praised.”

Eustace Conway

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You Too Are Crazy

 I was in the store, standing in line. As it turned out a man in front of me had come back, stood in the line to give back cashier extra 10 cents, which cashier had accidentally given him.

The cashier was pretty shocked, his face said it all. I think the man sensed the frustration of the cashier and with the confused voice said “aren’t we supposed to bring it back?’ cashier thanked him and the man left. 

The surprised cashier scanned my things and told me that the man came back to give him 10 cents and he said “that’s crazy”.

At that moment it hit the words just came out of my mouth, I told him that “Maybe we all are a little bit crazy” took a second long break and then I added,”  “in different ways”.

Cashier felt a bit uncomfortable with my answer and added “yeah, he was nice though”.

This was indeed an interesting experience for me. Because it got me thinking what does being crazy really mean? Why do we call people crazy, when we are all crazy?! 

Also, why was that man who would have been at least 50 years old still doing things, because he’s supposed to? When do people stop living how they supposed to and start living as they want to? Who said he’s supposed to bring extra 10 cents back? I would have thanked the universe for gifting me extra money and would have kept it. (obviously there are situations when you can’t take what’s yours, if you listen to your inner voice it will always tell you if it’s a gift or a test) 

Let’s see what crazy means according to different dictionaries; 

mentally deranged, especially as manifested in a wild or aggressive way.extremely enthusiasticfull of cracks or flaws: UNSOUNDnot mentally sound: marked by thought or action that lacks reason: INSANE IMPRACTICALERRATICbeing out of the ordinary: UNUSUALdistracted with desire or excitementabsurdly fond: INFATUATEDpassionately preoccupied: OBSESSED

If you carefully read the list above you will realize that you too are crazy or have been crazy at some point in your life.

I think that people call “crazy” to those who’s behavior or life is uncommon or strange to them and their understanding. I too have conscious and unconscious standards of craziness. And to be honest, sometimes I do things that even check my “list of craziness”. 

Maybe if we weren’t self-conscious about our own craziness world would be a better place to live. We should all let our selves be a little bit crazy. We should also do it only for ourselves. We can’t do it for the attention, because it wouldn’t come from the right place. Do something because you want to and because your heart desires so. And if it’s unusual for others and you will get a lot of looks, or attention, then it’s on them and not on you. Do not limit yourself only because you think that whatever you want is unusual for others.

Remember never harm anyone else. Never ever do anything that will bring pain or suffering to another person. Never force anything or anyone. Never violate other human being’s or creatures’ rights because of your wants and needs. Do Not do anything against another person’s will.

If you want to walk barefoot in the snow and freezing temperature, just do it, don’t pay attention to the looks of the people. If you want to sell everything, leave your comfortable life and go traveling go do it and be “crazy”. If you don’t want to have kids at all, do you and be “crazy”. If you want to scream from happiness in a place full of people please do so. If you want to jump and dance in the business meeting just stand up and do it. Be a little bit crazy. 

People will call every unusual or different person CRAZY. Nike has the best slogan “JUST DO IT”. There are no better 3 words I can tell you. Please embrace your craziness, unless it’s harming other people or creatures. Do those little crazy things and then go back to being normal until you want to do the next crazy thing.

Being the same as everyone else, or wanting to do so sounds crazier for me. We are born as unique, different individuals why should we want to be or become the same as everyone else.

Also, don’t be that person who does things because he’s supposed to. Stop living your life as others want it to be and start living your life as you want to and as you dream. Again never hurt another being and bring harm to them. Remember one man’s freedom stops there, where another man’s freedom gets violated. Other than that you are free to do whatever you want whenever you want.

“What is I? It’s what you are, not what others make of you.”
― Paulo Coelho

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Face Masks As Human Mouth Guards

What a surprise. I arrived from Hawaii to LA. From North Shore to Santa Monica.

All I see is people wearing those mouth guards which they call face masks. I wasn’t used to seeing people wearing masks outside of stores in Hawaii.

In LA people wear it everywhere; Walking, jogging, working out, running, on the beach, in the park, in the cars.

I saw a woman wearing 2 masks while sitting in her car and driving alone. No joking, 2 masks!!!

First, let’s talk about why masks aren’t helpful

Itgives you no protection and restricts your airflow. You are breathing your own exhalation which has a higher level of CO2. You are also breathing in the chemicals that the mask itself is made. There is no proof that cloth masks actually help or have any benefit. If you wear a cloth mask rather than no mask you have a higher chance to get the flue in general, because you are breathing in your own toxins.

A healthy man’s lungs collapsed because he was wearing a face maks while running. Several men died because they were wearing a face mask in the gym. A girl who was working in the store, all-day wearing her maks suffers from serious lung damage.

There also are emotional and psychological effects

The masks became the new muzzle for humans. Somehow it fogged people’s ability to think I guess. People are afraid of each other. You can’t see facial expressions or hear the voice anymore. People are wearing a face mask, sometimes even two, wearing sunglasses and often a hoodie, so there is no connection to other human beings anymore.

Masks Can Hide Identity

Ontop of everything, people can completely hide their faces in the name of being safe. So they can hide their identity. A person who is a serious danger to others can hide and be in public, cover his face and no one will suspect anything.

Kids Get Traumatized

People also force their kids to wear masks. Which lives serious damage and traumatizes them. Babies can’t see their mom’s faces anymore, which is crucial to their development. A mom was sharing that his 3-year-old was refusing to go out because he was afraid that he would catch a virus, that is not normal. Raising children in fear is seriously damaging them.

Wearing A Mask Makes People Shameful

Now that people’s mouths are covered, automatically their voice is dimmed and diminished. Their ability to speak up is limited. Wearing a mask unconsciously takes away your power to speak, speak up, and voice your opinions.

Dr. Andrew Cauffman also talks about how humans, when ashamed, cover their faces. He noted that people who wear masks are looking down and don’t make any eye contact. People unconsciously feel ashamed the moment they cover their faces with masks.

Last But Not Least

You can’t see faces, there also is a voice barrier, negative emotional effect, breathing in toxins, the mask is more dangerous than safe. So before you put a muzzle on yourself thin twice. let yourself breathe the fresh air and let your mind be free from fear.

“ The people who live in fear of disease are the people who get it. Anxiety quickly demoralizes the whole body and lays it open to the entrance of disease. “

James Allen

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Now Is The Only Time There Is

Sometimes it feels like time is flying, or maybe it is indeed flying.

 I had to do my nails last week. I thought I would stretch it for several days to save money. This week the salons are closed again in LA and I still have to do my nails. The problem itself isn’t anything major, but the underlying lesson is powerful.

We do not have anything guaranteed. We do not have tomorrow. The only thing we have is today. The only guaranteed moment is the very moment you are in right at this moment. 

We have a saying in my country which roughly translates as this “ Postponed job belongs to devil”. This means that anything you postpone might fail easily.

“I’m going to work out in the evening,” she said in the morning and never managed to actually do it on that day.

“I’m starting to eat healthy tomorrow” and eats pizza for breakfast the next day.

“I’m going to wake up early tomorrow and finish my presentation” Scrolled on social media all evening had no energy to wake up early next morning.

Whatever you want to do, do it today. “Busy is a reflection of our priorities”. Prioritize your priorities. Do not postpone important things, do not wait for the future.

Remember the only thing you have is this very moment, the only thing you can change is this moment you are in right now. You can only change your life and yourself in the present moment. The past is gone and the future is a beautiful mystery.

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How To Find Peace In Chaos

Recently I had a pretty Chaotic day. But even though I was physically tired I was full of gratitude and felt very content.

I’m going to share the details of my chaotic day. And the intention for that is to just show you what I meant by a chaotic day. Then I’m going to share how I maintained a calm attitude. 

It all started when I checked the mail and realized that my book copies arrived at the wrong address. So 2 months ago I published my first book, I thought I ordered the copies on the address I lived in that moment. Turned out that the package has arrived in the UPS. We had our mailbox there in the past.

 Usually, UPS send packages back immediately. When I realized that package was delivered in the UPS I ran home from outside, called them. Thank god the woman told me that the package was still there and I could get it for an extra fee. Normally they send back packages immediately. 

So here’s the thing now. It happened on July 3rd.  The next day was the 4th of July plus my son’s birthday. I was leaving the Island for good on Monday, July 6. So there was no other time I could go accept that very moment. I needed my book copies because I had to leave them in the Local Crystal shop. 

I hang up my phone with the UPS agent at 12:48 pm on Friday. I had my nails appointment at 3:30 pm and I was meeting someone to sell something at 3 pm. The UPS store I’m talking about was in Kailua and I lived in Pupukea. I had to drive 1 hour and 12 minutes just one way to get there, pick up the package. Next, go to USPS send another package back home in Georgia, I had to drop off the copy of my book to my friend, go to Goodwill to buy a carry on bag, go in Wahiawa from Kailua to meet the woman and then do my nails. For someone that would sound impossible, but not for me.

Without giving too much thought I just took my bag, water, and 2 bananas and left home immediately. I had expectations of meeting my goals, but I wasn’t attached to them and I was ok with not meeting them. I was making sure that I was conscious and present for the most part of my day. I was monitoring and filtering my thoughts and I was letting myself feel tired. Because no matter how accepting you are of your chaotic moments or day you are going to get tired after running around and driving so much. 

I was reminding myself of how grateful I was for my ability to even drive, walk, breathe, see hear. When I was running to make it I was becoming aware of my breath. In the car, I tried to focus on the road and become present. I was letting go of the thoughts that weren’t serving me. I also wasn’t overly positive. I just was thinking that “I trust the universe and what’s for me comes to me”. I thought “I want to achieve all my goals today but it’s okay if I can’t”.

So what’s the secret here?

Surrendering, accepting, letting go, not attaching, monitoring your thoughts constantly, changing your self-talk, Gratitude, being present, and aware of your environment and aware of yourself in the environment. 

I know it sounds like a lot. I have been working on those skills for years now and slowly I formed those skills and transformed them into habits. And even after working on myself for so long, I have so many unconscious moments throughout my day. I surprise myself sometimes of how reactive I can get if I’m not monitoring my thoughts and actions. 

That day I managed to do almost everything, except I physically wasn’t able to meet the woman, to whom I was selling a handbag, and thank the Universe the woman itself canceled and I met her the next day and managed to sell the handbag anyways.

It’s all about letting the universe know what you want and then doing your own part and letting the universe do his own. You have to let go of the control for the part that isn’t under your power in the first place. You only have control over yourself, your thought, actions, and words. You can only change your response to a situation and outlook on the world.

Be aware and be in the moment. Do not listen to your thought and see things for what they truly are and don’t make up false stories and don’t make things worse than they are. Thinking is a great tool if you use it wisely. It’s not about being always positive it’s about seeing things as they are and being okay with them. It’s not about being overly positive. If you are sad you can be sad if you are tired you can be tired, but you don’t have to be a victim and make the situation tragic. it’s all about being okay with things not being okay.

For the Universe, everything is always okay. It’s only us humans who label things as good and bad. we call situations that we like good and situations that we don’t enjoy- bad. Something that is great for us might be a disaster for someone else. Keep in mind that the world is just a perception of a bunch of human beings. Avoid labeling and become an observer. Be responsive rather than reactive. Be okay when things are good and be okay when things are not okay. Remember good or bad it too shall pass.

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