Ani Rich's Blog, page 16

Truest Definition of Meditation

I’m not going to start with the definitions of meditations and with all the history of it.

I’m just going to share the truest meaning of it. Truest to me.

Many think meditation is some tool, some exercise. A way to train our mind, attention, or awareness. We think if we meditate and actually do the action of “training the mind” as a result we get a relaxed mind.

Meditation is none of what I mentioned above.

Meditation is simply listening. Listening to whatever is present. Not thinking about what you are listening to, not thinking about the thoughts you have, not talking to yourself in your head. It is just the act of listening.

Having a relaxed mind is simply a result of being a good listener. 

So listening to what?!

“Meditation from its eastern roots means “to cultivate” (in Sanskrit) or “to become familiar with” (in Tibetan). … Meditation is the act of becoming familiar with our thoughts and feelings in order to transform the quality of our experiences in relationship to ourselves and others around us.”

In order to become familiar, you need to listen. 

You can’t become familiar with another person by talking to him, you get to know someone by listening to his words and observing them in general.

You get to know yourself by listening to what your soul has to say.

You get to know life by listening to what it has to say.

Most of the people just talk and almost never listen. They either talk to someone else or they are thinking in their head, which basically means to talk to yourself.

The only thing that brings the noise in your head is your thoughts. And your thought about the thoughts itself. Every single problem you have, you are aware of them because of your ability to think. When we think about the thoughts themselves or realize that we are thinking certain thoughts we call it being conscious. Thinking about the thoughts doesn’t necessarily mean you are a conscious human being. It just makes you a person who is aware of it’s thinking.

What makes you conscious is the action you take after you become aware. Do you know how they say that a human soul is a space in between the thoughts? So we have to listen to that space to know ourselves. So in order to become conscious, you have to fill up space in between being aware and being conscious, by making the decision to take action.

When you sit down to meditate; 1. you let all go (As a base you have to let it all go to create a good foundation for the next steps) 2. You listen 3. You become familiar 4. You become aware 5. when you are aware, it means that you are awake of the truth 6. when you are awake to the truth you take action towards incorporating that truth into your life 7. When you are consistently trying to live your truth you become a conscious human being.

Note; I specifically said “When you are consistently trying” because we all are always in trying mode, a work in progress as Sophia Bush says. There is no human being that makes no mistakes. If you are incorporating the truth into your life most of the time, then congrats, you are officially a conscious human being.

To be conscious of your thoughts means to be aware of your thoughts and to simply watch them and let them flow in and out. When you are simply aware of the thoughts and not focusing on them, that’s when you are conscious of your thoughts. You just have to let go of your thoughts and not hold onto them.

Listening can’t be done without letting go. right before you start the meditation you have to let go of everything; expectations, attachments to expectations, goals, wants, needs, ideas, thoughts, and agenda.

even if you have a question you want to be answered, you just have to ask it and then let go of the expectation of the outcome. Otherwise, you aren’t being in the very moment you are in this very second.

Just be present into whatever moment you are in. And just listen to whatever is present.

At first, it will be challenging, even more, it can take months or years until you can learn to listen. Have compassion for yourself along the way. You have been conditioned to talk for so long. Have patience for yourself and be like a toddler who learns how to walk. Stand up every time you fall.

Don’t give up if you can’t achieve the state immediately. Kids don’t say “I’m falling all the time there is no point to learn how to walk”. they just stand up every time they fall. They make it fun, they laugh when they fall. And because they fall they learn to walk. Every “failure” as we call it brings us one step closer to the final result.

“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work,” said Thomas Edison. You never fail. Maybe it was just supposed to take longer than you thought anyways.

Have compassion for yourself. The only person who you have to compare yourself with is your own past self. Your journey is unique to you. Someone learned a technique in a month, another person took 5 years. who cares?! We all have individual journeys. Make sure you let your journey be just yours.

The post Truest Definition of Meditation appeared first on Ani Kapanadze.

Who you were before the world told who you have to be?

What if we create illusions. What if our whole values and who we are is just an illusion. 

A human being is nothing but a recollection of thoughts he has about himself.

What if the life we live isn’t meant for us and we aren’t able to see it? Are you sure that your reality is the one you want or deserve? Deserve in a sense, that maybe you deserve a way better life than what you think or have created. 

Are you 100% sure that all that you are doing is worth it? All the sacrifices you take. Are they worth it? Because every sacrifice is an investment towards your goal. What is your goal? When was the last time you made sure you were moving in the right direction? Who even are you and who you want to become?

As someone said our beliefs create our thoughts, and our thoughts create our feelings, and our feelings creates our behavior, and our behavior creates our results. The result is our life. the belief is the life’s map we were given by family and society the moment we were born.

What are your beliefs? Are they true to you? Or are they outdated? If your beliefs lead to your life, so in order to change your life, you need to change your beliefs.

Simple not easy yes?!

When it comes to our life, lifestyle, and the way we move through the world, it seems to me we do it according to a pre-planned map. Which is how people around us have lived it. 

Are you even supposed to follow the footsteps other than your own?!

Are you aligned with your purpose? Do you know what is your purpose? If not which steps are you taking towards uncovering your purpose?

Every morning when you wake up you have to ask yourself Who am I today and what is my absolute goal for today. But say it as if it already is you and as if it already is happening. When I wake up this is what I say; I am a phenomenal woman, I am unshakeable peace and patience, I am kind, I am present and aware. I am the best version of myself today.

That way my brain knows the focus of the day. I have programmed myself and have a clear path for the day. 

When you know your focus of the day you are being disciplined, but don’t forget about being flexible. Life will send you some challenges here and there throughout the day to test you. To remind you about your main focus. If you aren’t being flexible you can’t welcome the unknown.

Balance is the key. Balance of the known and unknown in an equal manner. But only by fully welcoming each, you can achieve the balance.

You can create the life you want. Sometimes slowly, sometimes faster than it is for others, but surely we can create and build our lives. By taking small steps, every day towards our vision. By creating and building yourself a moment to a moment basis, you can create the life and the self you desire.   

Here are some questions you can ask yourself



Who am I? What are my beliefs in general? What are my limiting beliefs? Who I want to become? What kind of a person I want to be?What steps do I need to take on a daily basis to be the best version of myself?What are my strength and what are my weaknesses?How can I transform my weaknesses into my strength?What is my absolute life goal?What kind of life do I want to create?How can I create the life I desire? What are the steps I can take moment to a moment basis to create the life I desire?

Also, go back to your childhood. Most people become disconnected from themselves in adulthood, but kids are deeply connected to their true selves. There is a big chance that you were your truest self during the ages of 7-13.

At 7 a child is old enough to think and know what he likes and dislikes, isn’t still conditioned and has a free spirit. after 13 we become teenagers, we really want to fit in. We slowly start living life the way others would like it. All that matters at that age is to be seen, liked, and accepted.

What was that you loved doing between the ages of 7-13. Were you always dancing, painting, building houses, singing, performing, were pretending to be a teacher or a doctor?

Find out what it was and try to implement that in your daily life again.

Go back to your childhood to find and to erase things as well. That’s when all was planted in you. Your childhood can be either your friend or your enemy. Most of us don’t try to heal our inner child so it becomes our enemy. Let’s go back and befriend it. find out why is it that you are the way that you are and go where it all started.

A human being is nothing but a recollection of thoughts he has about himself or herself. So what observe your thoughts and you’ll know who you think you are.

The post Who you were before the world told who you have to be? appeared first on Ani Kapanadze.

When was the last time you edited or updated yourself?

We update our computers, furniture, home, and people in our life. We constantly edit our lives consciously or unconsciously. We write the To-Do Lists and To buy Lists. We declutter our homes. What do we forget here?!

When is the time to edit, update, and declutter your own self?

We think who we are is fixed and we will be whoever we are today for the rest of our lives.

We say my parents made me like this, my life made me the person I am today. Which I believe is true. But what we all forget at times is that we can shape and reshape ourselves as much as we want, as often as we shall decide. 

We often use the I am the way I am because of as an excuse to stay unhealthy, not to improve our skills, our human nature, and characteristics as well. 

Everyone is foolishly wise. We all know how other’s should live their lives. We even know what steps they should take so they can be “better”. 

Truly wise people know thyself. They have mastered the habit of thought and habit of action. 

Foolishly wise people know everything in theory. Truly wise people apply their knowledge to their life, they take action according to their knowledge and knowing. 

Every day is a new day. And every day will be the day that will never repeat itself. Every day you wake up as a new, fresh person. You choose to live in the past.

Most people live in the past because they think in the past. The moment they wake up, they focus on what’s absent from their life; I feel sleepy, my neighbor is still singing, my dog didn’t let me sleep, my boss was unfair yesterday, that lady in the store was so annoying, my mother did this, my car needs repair… 

We wake up and start thinking about what was yesterday or even a week or a year ago. Most people live in past, some of them live in the past present reality, very few live in the present future reality.

Past is familiar, the present is all we truly have an impact on, the future is a beautiful mystery.

The self you knew yesterday, or a minute ago has passed, the person you can be right now at this very moment is your own decision and the person who you will be tomorrow is determined by the person who you decide to be today.

The actions you are taking today, the thoughts you are choosing, the words you are saying determines who you will be tomorrow. 

Your future starts now. What you really don’t want is to disappoint your future self. You are responsible for yourself and for your future self. 

Steps you can take towards updating yourself:

Have a vision of your future self. Have a clear vision of what kind of person you want to be. How does the best version of yourself look like? Journal about the personal skills you want to acquire. Do you want to have unspeakable patience or peace? Do you want to become a happier person in general? Do you want to become more loving or caring? Write it down. Remember you can create and recreate yourself. Imagine yourself like a canvas and you being an artist. You can paint anything you want, literally anything. So you can become anyone you want, by consistently making choices towards your vision. Everything is already inside of you. Imagine you want to become a more patient person. You will most likely think that you need to learn how to be patient, that patience is outside of you. That’s the mistake most of us make. You are already patient. Patience is within you, the only thing you need to do is to reconnect to it. Find it in yourself and reconnect to it. To make patience your new habit, your blueprint. You adopt a habit through consistent effort.Consistency is key. We hear it all the time, but it is true. Every single day when you wake up imagine yourself as already being a patient person. Our subconscious mind only operates in the present time. It can only believe in the present time. Every single day as often as possible imagine yourself already being the most patient person in the world. Say things like; I am unshakable patience. Patience is my blueprint, I am the most patient person in the world. Do it consistently until your mind believes it. Tell yourself better lies. We all lie to ourselves. You know you can be patient, if you try you can recall many situations when you remained patient. So you already know how to do it, you just don’t do it most of the time. Because either you are being lazy, or negative people surround you. Working on ourselves requires a tremendous amount of willpower and then actually living the comfort zone and taking action. It requires constant effort. So when you are saying you aren’t a patient person you are lying. Let’s tell yourself a way better lie which is that you are the most patient person. Say it to yourself until it becomes your reality. Our minds are our servants, it eats whatever we feed to it. It believes whatever we tell. It operates according to what it consumes. Consume the information you want to become. You are what you consume. If you listen to the news all the time you become it, if you consume Tony Robbins all the time, you become him. What I mean by you become it, is that you will constantly think about what you consume. The body is a servant of a mind and it reacts to a thought. If you have negative thoughts, they manifest themselves in your body, if you have better positive thoughts it manifests in your body as well. In the first case, your body will become poisoned, in the second case, your body will flourish. Know thyself. Know your strength and know your weakness. Oftentimes people think something is their weakness when in reality it’s the opposite. 

If you are a people pleaser, you might think it’s a weakness, you might try to change yourself and not succeed in it. Instead of changing yourself just learn to also please yourself. There is nothing bad about enjoying to please people. We all love it. We all feel wonderful after pleasing others. It only will be a problem if we only feel enough if other’s are pleased by us. So in that case you just need to learn how to love yourself and please yourself first before you please others. You don’t need to remove the people-pleasing nature from yourself, you just need to add the self-pleasing aspect to it. You don’t have to live off of other people’s satisfaction. You should love your own self so profoundly and be so pleased with your life, that’s the only thing that is left to do is to share it with loved ones. But before you can achieve that state of self-love, be in trying mode. Try to please your own self while you please others. Naturally, you will become so full of love that you’ll start to overflow. 

This was just a drop in the Ocean of how you can become the best version of yourself. Most of us can’t change in a second, but we can change in many seconds. Have compassion throughout the journey for yourself. Don’t have the false expectations that you will be a new person in one day and don’t attach to those false expectations. Try to be the best version of yourself moment to moment basis. When your head hits the pillow make sure you let whatever you did and whoever you were that day to be enough.

The only thing you can do is to try and to try consistently. To think the thoughts and to take the actions that will set you up for success. To be the person who you love and like. To always do the right things no matter how hard it is. To be the best version of yourself moment to moment basis.

At times you are going to be a master when other moments you’ll be a student. Life is a dance between you being the master and you being the student.

The post When was the last time you edited or updated yourself? appeared first on Ani Kapanadze.

Love is Circular. It Comes and Goes. We don’t always Love our Partners and here is Why

Love is not fixed. Love is moldable. Love isn’t permanent, it’s circular. Love comes and goes. Love isn’t always with us, because we don’t always allow ourselves to become it. Love is me and it is you. But loving someone through the “good and bad” requires skill and hard work. 

We all can love but to a different degree. Some people have depth, so their love is like them, others are shallow, and they love on a surface level. One thing is for sure we love others the way we love our own selves. 

When our love for our beautiful selves is conditioned, it’s how we’ll love others. If we love ourselves in all shapes and forms, we will love our friends, partner, and family members in all shapes and forms.

We think we love some people and then if we broke up we stop loving them. If that person magically changed and became respectful, showed his love, and did all the things he promised he would, you will magically fall in love again (I’m talking about healthy relationships).

Love isn’t the thing that “fades” after time. Respect fades, people stop trying and working on the relationship, they don’t make us feel good anymore. When we feel extremely comfortable with someone when we feel like the best version of ourselves with someone we say we love them.

Often times we don’t love the people, we love how we feel with them and who we are with them. That’s why people often cheat not because their partners are bad, but because they don’t like who they are with them.

When you are in a relationship or in marriage just loving someone can get you so far. What keeps a relationship going for years is respect, sexual chemistry, love, compassion, commitment to the promises each person gave, and the ability to forgive and forget. 

When you are married or in a relationship, you have to be a little blind, a little deaf, and a little mute. Love comes and goes. When people are together for 10+ years they don’t always feel love for each other. There are moments when both of them are in love. Sometimes one partner falls out of love and then falls back in love and other times another. What matters is that two person don’t fall out of love at the same time, because if that happens the relationship will fall apart. 

The difference between an ordinary relationship and an extraordinary relationship is in giving just a little extra every day, as often as possible, for as long as we both shall live.

It’s true. Relationships are challenging. It’s easy to be single and it’s hard to stay in the relationship. It’s easier to find someone than to keep that one. It’s easy to give up and it’s challenging to keep going.

Relationships any type or form needs presence, time, and commitment. We need to show up for people in our lives. It is not easy and that is why the divorce rate is so high and that is why most marriages last 1-5 years. The majority of people aren’t ready for giving their best and most to the relationship, all the time.

Many times each person is self-centered. It’s all me me me. I don’t like this and I don’t want that and you change this and you do that. We make our whole relationship about ourselves. In reality, it was always us. It’s not me against you, it’s us against the problem or challenge that we have. It’s not how I feel in this relationship, it about how we both feel. It’s not you go and change, but how can we both adjust to the relationship.

Relationship means partnership in every single aspect of it. Being in a marriage/ relationship means to be interconnected. Your family becomes his and his family becomes yours. Your friends becomes his responsibility and vice versa. when you marry a person you marry his or her community. when you marry a person you marry his or her traumas, habits, personality, way of thinking, feelings, happiness. You marry their good days and you marry their bad days.

Imagine how many relationships could have worked if each person gave a little extra to the relationship. There always will be the next new person and that new person will always have things you don’t like or annoys you. Every new person becomes old eventually. You don’t like that he doesn’t call you or that she speaks too much, but the next new person will not be as loving as you want or won’t be as good in sex as the last one. There will always be a reason to break up with someone. I can find ton of the reasons why I should break up with my husband. But I focus on why I should stay with him and that’s why we are together.

If we focus on what we don’t like in people, we will always find something.

Remember two things; First; Comparison is a thief of joy and second; Whatever you go after goes after you.

There is no happily ever after, working on relationship never, ever stops. Only thing we can always promise to each other is that we will try the best we can, as long as we can, as often as possible.

Relationships need to be disciplined while flexible, structured while being disordered. It needs to have firm boundaries and rules. But it also needs a tiny window available for negotiation. It needs a back door to the boundaries and moldable rules. It needs two (or more) person willing to create the best relationship possible. Two person committed, two person in love, two person trying and trying and trying.

Kiss your partners and stop being against them. life partnership is for life. You can have many love relationships as someone said, but not many life relationships. Building life with someone is messy and fulfilling at the same time.

Reevaluate your values and please change yourself first before you ask making any change from someone else. Make sure you bring the best version of yourself to the table until you ask the same from someone else. Praise your loved ones and nourish them with your love.

Whatever you give comes back to you. Give what you want to receive, be consistent with it, and trust me you will be rewarded. You will get what you will give, so make sure you give out the best you can.

Forgive yourself when you can’t. It’s never about being perfect it only about trying and doing the best we can and the best we know. And when we know better we do better. And when we do better we get better.

Stop criticizing your loved ones and instead start a conversation. Ask questions and try to get to know them better. Try to understand why they do what they do and why they are who they are. Share your needs and listen to other’s needs. Take the necessary action.

Start the conversation right now. Your future starts right at this very moment. Having bad relationships is easy. Having deep, meaningful ones are challenging. So are you up for a challenge?

The post Love is Circular. It Comes and Goes. We don’t always Love our Partners and here is Why appeared first on Ani Kapanadze.

Do You Feel Stuck?!

Life is circular. It contains 2 cycles. The first cycle is a good one. We call it good because we like it. Everything flows easily and we don’t suffer. The second one is the one we want to avoid. The “bad” one. The cycle where everything and everyone seems to be against us. Where nothing goes the way we want. We fight that cycle.

When one cycle completes itself another starts and it’s an ongoing process.

Everything in life is circular. Birth and Death cycle, our breath going in and out… Even emotions are cyclical. For example, forgiveness comes and goes. You forgive someone and one tiny thing might trigger all those past emotions. They might come up and wake up inside of you.

Ideally, we should rejoice in both cycles of our life. The one we like and the one we dread. What often happens is that when we are in a good cycle we will find everything to make our life look worse than it is. We will find and focus on all the things that are absent from our life, instead of focusing on what we actually have. We will do it until the unwanted cycle comes. If our minds aren’t trained to find the best in the good cycle imagine how we might feel when the challenging cycle arrives.

What if we surrender? What if it’s possible to rejoice in that BAD cycle. What if we laugh at ourselves and we laugh at life. What if we laugh and cry until our tear dries up and our belly hurts from laughing. Imagine that instead of complaining, neglecting, avoiding.

But we like being in pain. Finally, we become the victims and our life becomes a mess. In reality, we attracted it all, but we will blame everyone and everything but ourselves. We will put the responsibility on every being but us. We will suffer until the easier life cycle arrives. When it finally comes and when we can enjoy our life, we will do anything to become miserable again. 

The mind always searches for familiar. My son will ask for the same story every single night because it’s familiar. Our brains are coded to search for familiar. In our caveman mind, familiar means safe, and unfamiliar means danger. So unconsciously in the name of safety, we will attract danger just because it’s familiar. 

If your blueprint is chaos then you go after chaos. Whatever you go after will go after you. So you seem to always attract chaos. You can change it actually. All you need is first awareness than a decision and finally taking action. The road is full of thorns. But Know that a rose without thorns has never been plucked.

The post Do You Feel Stuck?! appeared first on Ani Kapanadze.

I don’t get a Writer’s (or Creative) Block and Here is Why

I often hear people say that they have writer’s block or a creative block. I find it very strange because I always have something to say and something to write about. 

I don’t plan my blog posts. I do have a notebook where I write all the possible blog ideas, but I never use them. It’s more like ideas. When I get an idea, which I get a lot, I have to write them down. When I let them out my mind can settle and calm down. 

Every time I’m getting ready to write a blog post this is what I do; I open up the blank page and I look at it. Then I just ask myself one simple question What I want to say today?. And I just wait in the silence and look out in the space or window. Words come to me and my hands just start typing. That’s it. I believe that it is the only thing that matters.

I don’t write about stuff that will potentially bring me more followers or views. I don’t think that kind of thinking is sustainable and will bring me value. Instead, I just write and say what I feel is right to share at that very moment. 

Today I did the same and asked myself a question. As a result, it came to me to write about the writing princess itself. 

During the writing process, I make sure that I write it just to bring value to readers and not because I want a response. I just put it out. The rest is determined by the reader. 

This is what the internet says; Writer’s block is a condition, primarily associated with writing, in which an author loses the ability to produce new work or experiences a creative slowdown. This loss of ability to write and produce new work is not a result of commitment problems or the lack of writing skills. But I have better reasons and tools for you;

I think people in America and people in general over label everything. Writer’s block only happens when people numb themselves too much and don’t give their minds a break. If you label yourself and tell yourself that you have some condition your mind will perceive it as a “problem” and the problem means weakness. If you tell yourself that something is wrong with you it will become true to you. There is no condition and no problem you are yourself blocking your own creative flow by not letting it flourish. Instead of using the word writer’s block just tell yourself that your mind needs a break and relaxation, your body needs the same. Just say to yourself that you need to reconnect to your inner voice so you can produce great work again. Those words aren’t going to be perceived as a “problem” by your mind, whereas a writer’s block sounds like one.

This is how you can remove the “Writer’s Block”



Always write something that you will look forward to looking back at. Something that makes your future self proud. If you don’t write about something you think is true or is enjoyable for you, it will be challenging to produce and create new writings. Write about the topics that give you joy and are truly interested in it.Don’t write about hot topics or about the topics that will “bring you views” unless it’s what you truly want to and brings joy to you.



Yes, you are writing for people to help them and bring value, but if we really go deep down into ourselves the reason is selfish. We, writers, write for our enjoyment. We just enjoy writing. It gives us the joy to create something from nothing and to let our creative side flow and dance. When you think about what will bring you more views rather than asking yourself what you truly want to say, it brings you in your mind. You start to think logically and get stuck in mind. Your creative energy can’t flow so you get what people call writer’s block. It’s really an energetical block, that you put on yourself, which can be easily removed. Simply write the best thing you can write, that has meaning. Enjoy it and write about what truly gives you joy and that’s really it. When you do something you truly enjoy, when you are in the moment and let yourself flow without too much thinking that’s when you get the best results.



Give yourself calm moments daily. Have at least several 5-minute windows during the day where you do literally nothing. Where you are alone and aren’t doing any activity just being in silence and relaxing your mind.



Examine the why before you create anything. Don’t write a post (or anything) because you want to let out your anger, you are in the middle of something or you just want to give your ego a place to flourish. Also don’t just share without an intention or solutions. Otherwise, it just becomes a diary and not a blog (a book, post, etc). During the writing process, I obviously make sure that I write it just to bring value to readers and not because I want a response. We should write about the stuff we really like, but we have to also examine our motives for sharing and writing and remove our ego from it. 



Be fully present with whatever you want to write. If your mind is racing it’s not the best time to create anything unless that’s what actually calms you down. If I’m thinking about my toddler or my to-do list or if I’m rushing I don’t enjoy the writing process that much. As a result, what I write isn’t of the best quality. So make sure your mind is also with you when you open the blank page to create.



Don’t multitask. Don’t eat during writing or drink anything. Don’t have any food or beverage near you. I have great control over myself during writing so a glass of water isn’t distracting me. But some people get very distracted and have a hard time focusing when they have some yummy things around them. 

8. Write as long as you can. Don’t force yourself to focus more than you are able. Take breaks if you need to. Some people can focus 20 minutes at a time when others can do it for hours. Know thyself and accept yourself. Create a routine that suits your personality. let the routine and your character be enough. If you don’t like something change it, improve yourself, improve your focus but never let yourself feel like it’s not enough.

Most importantly let whatever you do be enough. If you can do more, go ahead do it. There is no value in beating up ourselves, in thinking about the past or staying in it.

I hope you enjoyed my outlook on Creative Block and I would love to hear what you think about the topic itself and how you help yourself and your mind to be in best shape possible?

The post I don’t get a Writer’s (or Creative) Block and Here is Why appeared first on Ani Kapanadze.

This is How You Can USE THINKING As a Tool to BECOME UNSTOPPABLE

My grandmother used to always tell me that a person can change at any time. A person can become better and remove or adopt any characteristics that he or she wants/needs in life.

Fast forward to me not being a teenager anymore I truly believe her. The more I live my life the truer it gets. That a human being can change himself at any point in his life.

A human being is nothing but a recollection of thoughts he has about himself. 

The thought is the ability to differentiate, a tool to have clear judgment. To make a conscious decision, and choose the best thing to do based on your thinking ability.

We think we are the thought itself. We are more powerful than that. We are who we think we are. The thought is separate from our being. It’s not our being, it’s outside of our being. Still attached to us, still part of us. Thinking is what makes us human.  We can’t choose which thought will arise in our minds. We can choose which one we will believe in and accept as our truth. 

You can become anyone you want. You can build and rebuild yourself continuously. But never let yourself feel that who you already are isn’t enough. Only if you come from a good place you can transform yourself. If you really love yourself that’s when you want it to be the best version of itself.

A human being is also a recollection of the habits he has. 

By adopting and removing certain habits you rebuild yourself. 

Something only becomes a habit when it’s done every day, consistently. It continues to be a habit when your whole wanting it, continually and consistently. 

Here is an example to help you understand this concept better.

The night before you’ve decided to go to the gym. Your toddler woke up at night several times. Then your toddler woke you up in the morning by crying. When you open your eyes you get thoughts; I feel terrible, I want more sleep, why does this always happen when I want to go to the gym, I don’t have energy, should I skip a workout today? You know what I will still go to the gym and do at least a short workout, no no I don’t think I can, and so on…

First, there was a feeling of tiredness, then you became aware of that tiredness and started describing all your negative feelings. You think that feeling shouldn’t be there. You dislike it. You started having opinions about it. Your opinions are your thoughts. You got two options to go to or not to go to the gym. Whichever “wins” depends on you. Energy goes where your thoughts are. Energy also flows where you put your focus. If you focus on what’s “wrong” with you, the outcome will be that you skip that workout. If you shift your focus on what’s actually working you will put your workout clothes on and go to the gym.

You will go and complete the workout if; When you wake up and feel all those feelings and start to have all those negative thoughts you decide to shift your focus. You will change your thoughts consciously by bringing your focus on the areas of you or your life that works and actually feels good. It’s called gratitude.

Here is how you can transform the thoughts I mentioned above; I feel tired, but I’m grateful that I woke up, that I’m perfectly healthy, I have my eyes, legs, both hands on me. I can talk and I have a child, yes I don’t like that she woke me up several times but at least she’s well and healthy, I will drink my tea/coffee and put on my workout clothes because I promised myself that I would go to the class, I know the universe is testing me if I really wanted to go to the class in the first place, tomorrow is a new day and I can go to the bed early today or I can have a 10 min nap in the car, some days are better than others and it is normal for me to have all these feelings and emotions, but I know that I want to feel better and I also know that what will make me feel better is if I accomplish my task and will do my workout.

You know the right decision is to go to the gym. Not because scientists say so, but because of the feeling you get after completing a workout. The feeling of accomplishment, the feeling of gaining power over yourself. You know that if you push through your discomfort there lies the comfort. The comfort of liking yourself and being satisfied with yourself.

Also, we have to listen to our bodies. I had moments in life when my body absolutely needed the rest. We have to learn how to differentiate our inner voice from just a lazy thought. Before I just asked one question to myself Am I lazy to go and do my workout or does my body truly need a rest? Now I just intuitively know what’s the right thing to do and what my body actually needs.

If you do it 80% of the time, if you have the habit of shifting your focus to the direction that will bring more value, your life will be transformed. Moment by moment you have to create a habit of choosing the right thing. You have to do it so often that you start to filter your thought automatically. 

Thinking is a tool that if used right can transform your life and if not it can ruin your whole life. You are the master and you can take control of your thoughts any time you want to. 

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Is Being Stay At Home Mom Blessing or a Punishment?!

The hardest part of raising my son in the US is that I didn’t have any family members here and it was pretty lonely. 

In my culture family members help you to raise your child on a daily basis.

It’s not only my culture. In Indian or Asian culture parents are similarly helpful.

Unfortunately, I don’t usually see that type of support in American culture. 

When we lived as tribes we raised kids together. Our kids were playing together and literally raising each other. It was like a big family, community. A community that was constantly present.

Today most of the stay at home moms (SAHM) sit at home, alone, all day, every day. They don’t have anyone to talk to on daily basis. For 9+ hours they are with their kids alone. That sounds more like a punishment than a blessing for me. 

We human beings need other humans. Not only just humans, but we also need our people, our community. Yes talking to another mom on a playground for 5 minutes is better than nothing, but getting help from a family member you love or from your best friend is way more fulfilling. And living with a person who on a daily basis is helping you is even better. 

It takes a village to raise a child. It takes at least 2 people, who are constantly present, to raise just one kid. To raise that kid in a healthy, peaceful, joyful environment. When a mom is the only one present during the day, it gets chaotic. A mother is a human being as well, with her own needs.

There are wants and there are needs. We aren’t talking about what a mom wants, we are literally talking about her needs. We humans get frustrated when we can’t get what we want, imagine how moms feel when they can’t get what they need.

They simply aren’t able to use the toilet in peace and have a shower without a rush. They can’t drink their tea in peace and eat food sitting down. We think it’s normal, we even joke about it. We think that’s how it should be because all the other moms are like that. I’m here to tell you that it’s not normal.

It’s not only about eating and drinking. When you become a parent your whole life becomes about your child. There is no place and time for you anymore and your needs. And if that continues all day, 24/7 it can get very draining. That those things have a huge, negative effect on our mind, body, and spirit. That’s why we see more drained, tired, anxious parents than happy and fulfilled ones.

Even now that my son is 3, I’m so used to rushing during the shower that my heart always starts beating fast, I can’t breathe properly and I’m always unconsciously rushing to get out. As a result, I’m irritated and can’t relax and enjoy my time. I have to consciously calm myself down and I’m becoming better at it as time goes by.

Yes, American moms might get help here and there, if they are lucky they can get it once a week to go on a date night. But it’s not like you are sleepless, tired, and anxious for the whole week and then you go out for 2 hours and everything is okay suddenly. 

I know help is available for me. I know if I go back to Georgia I can have as many helpers as I want. If I want my mom can take Max for months. I’m waiting for help because I know it’s available to me.

I don’t think many American moms live with the hope that one day someone will give them a break and will help them on a daily basis. And it’s even worse. In challenging times I live with the hope that if I really can’t do it by myself anymore I can always go back home. Hope for a better future is what helps us survive the challenging present. Because American moms don’t have that hope, they will continue to suffer higher rates of depression, anxiety, exhaustion, and PTSD than the general public.

Someone would argue that if you give birth to a child, you have to raise him. But I will tell you that moms were never supposed to raise kids alone. Even today, we mostly see it in western culture.

We human beings have our own needs, that need to be satisfied in order us to be the best version of ourselves. Having a child is fulfilling, but being a community, attention, time, sleep, love deprived parent is not.

This is my theory you need to have one child to fully embrace and understand how does parenting feels. But if you have more than 1 child that’s on you. When you realize how challenging it is and you give birth to more kids because you are “supposed” to have X amount of kids, that’s your responsibility.

There is no agenda or plan you have to follow. Stop living like everyone else, simply because to blend in and fit in. You have to have as many kids as you can afford; emotionally, physically, and financially.

Create your future, the future that suits your needs. There is always a solution, ALWAYS! I found mine. It seemed like there was no solution for me, but when I truly decided that I’m ready for help I got one. Find your own and stop depriving yourself of everything. Find a community, ask for help from your family members and friends. Share your struggles with them and stop trying to do it all and to be a perfect parent.

Perfection simply doesn’t exist and doing all by yourself is an unattainable goal.

No human has achieved anything, only by himself or herself. Raising kids alone while having a healthy mind, body, and spirit is also impossible. Find your help. Say it out loud to the universe. Say out loud what you want. Do whatever is in your power to get it and leave rest to the force.

“Ask, and it shall be given you:”

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How and Why I Removed My Own IUD. The Reason IUD Stops Your Manifestation ability and Stops Your Energy Flow

Blog Content

Quick Back Story of My IUDHow I Removed My Own IUDLittle Bit About IUDs and other BIRTH CONTROLSMy Take on Birth Controls and the reason They Stop Energy Flow In Your BodySource & Further Reading



Quick Back Story of My IUD

I gave birth to my son 3 years ago. After birth, knew I wanted some type of Birth Control.

 I never tried a Birth Control pill, because of its long-term effect on the body. (And sometimes your body gets damaged after short-term use). 

I decided to try an arm implant. Unfortunately, I haven’t done my research before I made a decision. I had no idea that it was a hormonal implant and it had side effects. I had it up to 8 months.

My body couldn’t tolerate it. I started to get my period 2,3 sometimes even 4 times a month. Because of that, I removed the arm implant.

Next, I decided to put a Copper IUD. I wanted something non-hormonal this time. It had to last up to 10 years. But after 2 years it got dislocated so I had to remove it.

How I Removed My Own IUD

One day I was in the shower and realized that my IUD was dislocated and was way down that it had to be. I decided to remove it, just to be safe. Currently, I don’t have insurance so it costs up to $450 to remove it. My husband literally called in more than 20 hospitals and the cheapest price we got was $280.

We made our research and found out that 1. In Europe, many women remove their own IUD by themselves, and 2. We found so many youtube videos on “How to remove your own IUD”. As it turns out it’s extremely easy. You just have to pull it down, it comes out and that’s it.

I couldn’t remove it on the first day. I wanted to remove it but I wasn’t mentally ready. I had a huge fear that if I remove it I might get pregnant. Every time I was grabbing the end of the copper my body and vagina were getting tight and the copper was going inside even deeper.

You have to be psychologically ready to remove it. Your body reacts to your thoughts. If you are fearful your body will react to it and will do everything not to let you remove it, so it can protect you. Your body’s natural reaction is to do everything to save you!

On the 3rd day, I was truly ready. I also let the universe know that I was ready and I needed help to remove it. I took it out very quickly (In 15 minutes). It was a little bit uncomfortable. I had the pulling feeling and it was out. I started crying and felt a huge relief. It’s like when you push the baby out and you cry and are relieved. It was very similar to that moment.

I was bleeding for a few days and that’s it. In several days I got my period as well and it was on time. You bleed for several days when you put it in and vice versa.

Little Bit About IUDs and other BIRTH CONTROLS

Arm Implant

 

The arm implant I first had is called Nexplanon. “The birth control implant is a tiny, thin rod about the size of a matchstick. It’s also called Nexplanon and there’s a slightly older version called Implanon. A doctor inserts the implant under the skin of your upper arm. It’s invisible and prevents pregnancy for up to 4 years.”

IUD

The copper IUD I a had next is called ParaGard. “Which is an intrauterine device (IUD) that can provide long-term birth control (contraception). It’s sometimes referred to as a non-hormonal IUD option.

The ParaGard device is a T-shaped plastic frame that’s inserted into the uterus. Copper wire coiled around the device produces an inflammatory reaction that is toxic to sperm and eggs (ova), preventing pregnancy.

ParaGard is the only copper IUD available in the United States. It can prevent pregnancy for up to 10 years after insertion.”

Other side effects of Paragard may include:

anemiabackachesspotting between periodsvaginal dischargepain during sex

“IUD stands for Intrauterine Device (basically: a device inside your uterus). It’s a small piece of flexible plastic shaped like a T. Sometimes it’s called an IUC — intrauterine contraception.

There are 5 different brands of IUDs that are FDA approved for use in the United States: Paragard, Mirena, Kyleena, Liletta, and Skyla. These IUDs are divided into 2 types: copper IUDs (Paragard) and hormonal IUDs (Mirena, Kyleena, Liletta, and Skyla).

The three brands of hormonal IUDs available are Liletta, Mirena, and Skyla. “

“Once placed in the uterus, this type of IUD slowly releases small amounts of the hormone progestin to stop sperm from reaching the egg. Similar to hormonal birth control pills, hormonal IUDs can also prevent ovulation or the release of an egg from the ovary. The hormones also thicken the cervical mucus to prevent sperm from swimming to the egg and thin the uterine lining to stop a fertilized egg from implanting.

In addition to preventing pregnancies, hormonal IUDs will lighten your periods and reduce cramps. Mirena and Liletta may get rid of your periods entirely. For the first three to six months after the IUD is inserted, your periods will likely be unpredictable.

Skyla and Liletta continue to work for up to three years. Mirena can prevent pregnancy for up to five years.

Hormonal IUDs can cause side effects similar to those of birth control pills, including:”

breast sorenessbreast tendernessheadachesnauseamood changesweight gainacne

My Take on Birth Controls and the reason They Stop Energy Flow In Your Body

I personally think that birth control pills, implants, or IUDs aren’t good for our health. Especially Hormonal birth controls. Our bodies are made to be able to create babies. Not ovulating, not having periods, etc can’t be good for our bodies.

The vagina for women is her negative pole. Meaning she energetically receives from Vagina and heart is her positive pole. When you use birth control methods like IUDs, pills, or implants you close your ability to receive and manifest. The energy in your Chakra centers can’t flow freely. You literally close off and shut down. When Energy Circulation stops all sorts of problems will start. I

When we get side effects we think it’s normal. The side effect is your body’s reaction. It means that your body fights that unknown thing you put inside. It’s trying to kick it out and be free again so it can feel good again. We have to listen to side effects because those are the messages from our bodies. Messages that something is wrong and it needs your help and healing. Side effect = Body Language.

Your vital energy also gets drained. Imagine your body is constantly fighting something. Sure you might not feel it immediately, but it manifests itself into all sorts of health problems; Insomnia, anxiety, depression, exhaustion. After a while, you get so used to feeling drained that you forget how being energetic feels.

At the same time, I personally am not ready to have a second child right now. I would love if there were better options for preventing pregnancy. I don’t yet know what I will do to prevent pregnancy for the long term, but I know that I don’t want to close off myself and stop energy circulation in my body.

Source & Further Reading



https://www.plannedparenthood.org/www.healthline.comhttps://www.mayoclinic.org/ 4. https://www.paragard.com/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=USA_GO_SEM_NB_EX_Paragard-DTC&utm_term=iud+non+hormonal&utm_content=Unbranded_Hormone+Free&gclid=CjwKCAjw8MD7BRArEiwAGZsrBc5KWTCyuM6ZbyVL9nCwNU8Y_1VGZ5W9NjGLJyBKpHuxWyJLkmLpwxoCrgwQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

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AS One Bad Apple Can Spoil The Bunch, One negative Person Can Make Your Life A Disaster

For a very long time, I tried to win over negative people. I tried not to let them affect me. My goal was to be so energetically strong that negative energy couldn’t come inside and have any effect on me.

I’m not talking about interactions with negative people here and there, I mean when you have a negative person in your life as a co-worker, friend, partner, family member. I “wanted” to have a negative person in my life and I asked myself not to get affected by them.

I had false expectations and illusions.

“As they ripen, some fruits, like apples and pears, produce a gaseous hormone called ethylene, which is, among other things, a ripening agent. … Given the right conditions and enough time, one apple can push all the fruit around it to ripen—and eventually rot.”

So can negative energy be very poisonous. One person’s negative energy can slowly spoil the whole group’s energy.

For me personally, when I’m interacting with a negative person for a longer time period, my whole energy and focus go into strengthening my energetic barrier. But I don’t like being with them, I don’t want to be with them so eventually, my energy starts to leak and I end up being drained. 

We humans aren’t created to do what we don’t like. Have you noticed how kids are always full of energy and as the day goes it seems like they have more and more energy?! Because they only do what they want to do, and what they like to do.

Because kids only do what they enjoy doing they get more and more fulfilled throughout the day. We, adults, on the other hand, mostly do what we don’t like or don’t want to do. So instead of filling our energy tank, it gets leaked and we end up drained at the end of the day.

It’s possible to be so grounded and connected to the true self that you let no one, no thing change your state and have an effect on you. Also to achieve that state isn’t easy. 

To be honest I don’t think there is anyone who can spend a lot of time with negative people and don’t get affected. There are very few people who can achieve that state and even those people spend most of their time in solitude and meditation. And when left alone everyone is a good person.

Allowing negative energy in your life is a green light for the universe to send you more. So “Surround yourself with only people who are going to lift you higher.”

PS. There are also people who won’t stop, no matter what. Even if you remove them from your life, they try to come back forcefully and attack you with their spoiled energy. In that case, I don’t yet have answers. They are not just being negative, they are MEGA negative. Their whole DNA is negative. But I promise you I’ll keep you updated. I’ll let you know if I find a solution to MEGA negative people.

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