Ani Rich's Blog, page 2

I Suffered From Rage Attacks

I’m the oldest in my family.

All my cousins and also my sister is younger than me.

Imagine, I had to be “The Example”.

I was the person responsible for their behavior and actions, at all times.

As a bonus to my pressure to be perfect, I was attending a private school, for 13 years, that belonged to my aunt.

Similarly, I had to be a leading example for my peers. Because I was the representation of my family, I had to be perfect.

If I was not wearing a uniform, attending classes, and following all the rules, how could have they asked it from others?!

All these years I heard messages like, you know better, you shouldn’t have done that, you are too smart for that, you are older, you know better and etc.

Imagine how much pressure I put on myself as an adult, being raised with those affirmations.

As an adult, I was deeply compassionate toward others’ pain, because I knew how much it hurt.

For my own pain?

Never!

The consequences of my mistakes never harmed me as much as my being hard on myself for making a mistake in the first place.

It was damaging.

Self-love, forgiveness, and compassion were too far away from where I was standing.

Every time I made mistake I felt so powerless. I hated myself. I hated my life. I hated my being and my existence.

Every time I didn’t get something right I would think that I didn’t deserve anything good to happen to me.

For years I lived with rage attacks.

As a Kid, I wasn’t really allowed to cry or have big emotions. So all of this pressure manifested in my anger outbursts.

I wish there was one thing that magically “fixed” me.

There was a combination of many things that helped me navigate myself out of the darkness.

Here are a few major things that made the most impact on me;

Acceptance

First and foremost accept where you are. Accept the situation. Accept your feelings, actions, thoughts, and emotions. Only acceptance will give you the power to transform yourself and your situation.

I started to have an Anger Journal

Write down all your thoughts, however awful, strange, or scary. After you are done burn them, cut them, tear them or put them in the trash. Now feel lighter. All of that has now left your body and you are free. Repeat as much as you want and as often as you need. Whenever you need it.

Anger is a Cover Emotion for Far

As I said before, making a mistake made me feel powerless. Being in that position is scary. Every time you are angry, try to find what’s the underlying cause. What are you scared of?

Do the things and surround yourself with people that Make You Feel Powerful

If seeing your father makes you feel powerless, try to limit his presence in your life. If your neighbor makes you feel powerless stop talking to them. It isn’t time to understand why certain people or situations trigger you. It’s time for you to put your well-being first. You have to create a space within before you’ll have the strength to reason and manage emotions.

This Quote, by Deborah Adele literally Saved Me

When we feel powerless, we have forgotten how much choice we really have. We have a choice to take action and we have a choice to change the story we are telling ourselves about our powerlessness.

I had this quote cut out from my gratitude calendar and put it on the wall.

I read it as often as I needed.

Reading and Listening to What Empowers you

You are what you consume. You watch a detective you feel like one. You watch a superhero you get inspired, you listen to a motivational speaker you get motivated, you listen to someone powerful you feel powerful. Make sure that anything and I mean anything you consume brings value to your life. Read interesting books that will help you grow and transform, listen to podcasts, and watch documentaries. Read lots of quotes. Do whatever you need to feel powerful.

There are many more things that I have done like yoga, working out every single day, and dressing up every day (even if I stay at home). This is just part of who I am and I’ve been this way for a very long time. I can’t say I’ve specifically done it for the purpose of healing but I’m sure it has supported the process. Because when I look in the mirror and I like myself, I like my body it always makes me feel confident which leads to me feeling powerful.

Meditation

The moment I started meditating every single day for at least 15 minutes, my life improved significantly. I was always on and off with meditation until I heard Arnold Schwarzenegger saying this:

I have been working out every day for years now. Because I care about how I look. So I thought to myself that my mind is equally important as my body and that I would do 1 thing each day for my mind. And for my soul, I say a little prayer every single day. If I eat and sleep every day I can do at least 1 thing for my mind-body and spirit daily.

Last Word

Healing is an ongoing process. Even yesterday I had an emotional day. I was sobbing and laughing at the same time saying to my mom that of course, I don’t have permission to be human and make mistakes. But it’s different today than it was before. Catching it is easier, letting it go is easier, happens much less and it’s easier to forgive myself.

Healing is a journey you go through until the day you die. You remove layer over layer. You become lighter and lighter until eventually, you gain control over your trauma, instead of it controlling you.

Trauma doesn’t disappear you just learn to tame it.

I hope you found my story helpful. In case you want to share your own story with me or ask questions about mine, find me on Instagram at @inuitivelyrich

The post I Suffered From Rage Attacks appeared first on Ani Rich.

Why I stopped Being honest with people

Listen To The Blog(click the 3 dots to change the speed)Read The Blog

I’ve made many mistakes in life.

One of them was thinking, that I had to say everything I think.

It didn’t work well for me.

Instead, I found myself constantly arguing, proving my point.

It took me years to realize that all of my attempts to be an “honest” human being wasn’t working out for me.

when I say it didn’t work well, I mean that it didn’t bring me peace.

I remember once I told a maintenance guy, in my building, that I didn’t like him very much and that I don’t want him to come to my apartment ever again.

Don’t get me wrong he was a pain in the ass. He deserved it.

But looking back I can see it must have been painful to hear.

By the way, I never saw him again. I guess it worked.

But I could have expressed my feelings in a better way.

The tone, the words, and the way you say things make the difference.

Another example would be a relationship with my mother-in-law.

She’s as she is. She’s still my family. But we never understood each other. In my attempts of wanting to have a better relationship with her I always let her know what I did like or didn’t like, what was acceptable for me or what wasn’t.

BIG FAIL.

She always took it in the wrong way and we ended up having arguments.

I can list hundreds of similar examples from my life.

Because I am very confrontational with myself, I was the same way with others.

Let me be the first to tell you we don’t like to hear the truth. We like those walls that we have built and enjoy living in our own lies.

I had enough.

The quote “Strong people are often pretty simple” had a big impact on me. I wanted to make my life simpler, just for the sake of my inner peace.

I started to observe people around me and analyze them.

I observed what worked and what didn’t.

And I found the answer. And it was magic.

The answer was so simple “actions speak louder than words”.

I also made a decision to stay silent every time I felt reactive. If I wasn’t able to respond instead of reacting, I would’ve not said anything at all.

If a stranger gave me unsolicited advice I just looked them in the eyes and stayed silent. Instead of telling them that it was none of their business.

The conversations I didn’t want to have would have stopped immediately because of my silence.

Also a little tip here. After I somewhat mastered staying silent I thought about upgrading my approach.

So if anyone was not nice to me or was mean to me, (which happens rarely), I would just smile at them or blow kisses to them and it felt even better. It was so much fun. Many times they would end up smiling as well and it made me feel lighter.

When you prioritize your peace, it prioritizes you back.

And action really does speak louder than words.

The post Why I stopped Being honest with people appeared first on Ani Rich.

Next Time someone is mean to you Do this

Listen To The Blog(click the 3 dots to change the speed)Read The Blog

I’m on a new stage in life.

A new stage of accepting myself as I am, who I am, and the way I am.

My Instagram is growing rapidly, many of my Instagram posts went viral on my personal account.

It means that there are thousands of people who I don’t know sharing their opinions, with me, about myself.

I got a few really mean comments.

This particular guy was really mean towards me.

I laughed.

My initial reaction was gratitude. I was filled with gratitude for my mindset.

This person which called me many names, first I know that deep down he is really hurting. Second of all, I laughed because I know it was not true. What’s even more interesting is the thought that I had afterward.

Even if all that he said was true so what?

Who cares?!

I don’t.

The only person who really cares is the one writing those comments.

Another example would be the mean comment about my outfit.

I love how my body looks, so I wear shorts a lot. The other day some guy made a comment about me, in terms of me being a whore, and I thought to myself even if I was a whore so what?!

And it almost became a mantra for me and took the pressure from me to be anything and anyone but myself.

And this, my friends, is a different level of self-acceptance and I’m all about it.

Next time someone says something mean to you, first of all, know that it’s not true, and second of all even if it was true so what?

PS. Something very powerful that helps me is not to give negativity attention. When I got a few negative comments I didn’t share them with anyone, I didn’t respond. I didn’t give it any power by me focusing on it.

Whatever you focus on grows.

My purpose in sharing my story with you is to inspire you, hopefully.

Get an email whenever Ani Rich publishes.

Email Address

Subscribe

The post Next Time someone is mean to you Do this appeared first on Ani Rich.

I quieted my loud neighbors through the law of attraction

Listen To The Blog

(click the 3 dots to change the speed)

Read The Blog

I have my own apartment now.

How exciting.

It’s my dream apartment, I LOVE it with my whole heart.

And there were my loud neighbors.

The old lady next door screamed every morning and night because of her upstairs neighbor and called the police at 5 am screaming.

Also, the guys who were standing outdoors drinking and talking loudly until 3 in the morning. (very common in Tbilisi)

I was so anxious for a few days. I love my peace. I’m a morning person, I like to go to bed early. I love my quiet time.

I slept with AirPods in my ears for a night or two and when the next night came I got angry.

“Why should I sleep with AirPods in my own home, damage my ears, and don’t give my brain rest?!”

So I decided to look at my options. And to look at what I have control over.

The first thing I did was I wrote a letter in a nice but firm way with only 3 sentences to my next-door neighbor and asked her to stay quiet when everyone else sleeps.

I considered talking to the boys but I knew there was no point in it they would stop for a day or two and it would have happened again.

I thought about options that were more sustainable and would bring me consistent peace and I found the answer.

Have you noticed that every house has its own sound? Like when you move to a new apartment or spend a night somewhere else at first every little sound creeps you out but after a while, your brain gets used to it and it marks them as safe sounds so you don’t even notice them anymore.

So I decided that all this was just part of my apartment’s sounds and noises.
I told my mind to mark them as “safe sounds”. And I accepted my reality.

And let me tell you from then on I haven’t even been bothered.

Whatever you focus on grows.

I removed my focus from the noise and put it on my inner peace.

I know there are multiple realities for us available at all times and you get to choose which you tap into.

I have had many similar experiences and I have evidence of how your focus works as an amplifier.

The noise might still be there at times but I don’t notice it anymore.

It lost its power the moment it lost my focus.

I know I don’t have control over what others will do but for sure I have control over my reaction, my thought, and my actions.

The post I quieted my loud neighbors through the law of attraction appeared first on Ani Rich.

Manifestation Story #2 “The Matching Wheel Cap”

Listen To The Blog(click the 3 dots to change the speed)
Read The Blog

In this series of manifestation stories, I decided to document all of my manifestations however big or small. My hope is to inspire you to believe that it is possible to get everything that you want.

I bought a new car a few years back.

I loved the car. It brought so much joy, it drove easily and it felt great.

There was a tiny something something that I really didn’t like. It was missing one of the wheel caps.

All 3 of them were silver and the one that was missing the cap was black, obviously.

And it was unappealing for my Virgo mind.

For the reason that focusing on the missing cap didn’t feel good, I decided to remove my focus from it and instead focus on the things that I liked.

I named the car, organized it, bought new chair covers, and put motivational stickers all over the car.

And eventually, I stopped thinking about the cap. I didn’t stop wanting it, I just stopped remembering about it.

A week goes by and my husband comes to me with the cap in his hand.

He said to me “There was this cap next to the garbage can in front of our apartment building, it might fit your car.”

We checked it and it was literally brand new and we could barely see the tiny crack on it.

The best thing was that not only did it fit my wheel, but it was also the same exact cap that my car needed. Exactly the same as the rest of 3 wheel caps.

I knew what happened. I knew exactly what happened.

I had a desire of wanting to have matching wheel caps.

I chose not to focus on the absence of the manifestation of the desire, instead, I chose to focus on what I already had. and I chose to feel joy and gratitude.

I let go of the active wanting and let go of the resistance.

I allowed the universe to bring me what I wanted.

When you want something the universe will do everything to bring it to you.

But the problem is, you don’t believe that it’s possible so you start to worry and be anxious. You make things harder.

Have a desire.

Then let go of the “how” and “when.”

And Enjoy the unfolding of it.

The post Manifestation Story #2 “The Matching Wheel Cap” appeared first on Ani Rich.

“Forgiveness is forgetfulness”

Listen To The Blog(click the 3 dots to change the speed)Read The Blog

Teal Swan once said that “True forgiveness is forgetfulness”.

I agree.

But at first, I thought that it meant that we still have to keep in touch with someone that hurt us and treat them as if nothing has happened.

Nope.

That’s not what she meant.

I guess.

I learned my lesson.

I realized that when you truly forgive someone, you stop caring.

You don’t care about what they did to you anymore, you don’t even think of them anymore.

This means that you don’t have any negative emotions towards the person or about what they did.

You feel free. You are okay with whatever happened. You sure prefer if it didn’t happen. But you are okay with what is or was.

Forgiveness is to free yourself from pain so it is to forget the pain.

You live as if nothing has happened, as no one has ever done wrong to you, as if no one ever hurt you.

But what you don’t forget are the lessons.

You keep the lessons forever. You keep the strength that the experience gave you. You keep that self-love you gained forever.

You keep it and remind yourself, so the universe doesn’t have to remind you by sending similar experiences.

Real wisdom is when you put your knowledge into action.

Use the lessons, and let go of the pain.

The post “Forgiveness is forgetfulness” appeared first on Ani Rich.

The Greatest Superpower That Exists

Saying no to yourself is one of the greatest skills you can master.

Saying no to old patterns, unhealthy habits, and unwanted thoughts/behavior.

Saying no to yourself is a superpower.

Your body and your mind should be so trained that whenever you say go it moves and whenever you pause it stops.

You are in charge. You just need to grow that muscle a little.

This is how you do it:

Developing yourself mentally, spiritually, and physically EVERY DAY.

Get the knowledge, and remember to implement the knowledge.

Put it into action. That’s how you grow.

Say no to yourself more often.

The post The Greatest Superpower That Exists appeared first on Ani Rich.

Prioritize How You Feel

You absolutely have to prioritize how you feel.

You attract not who you are, nor what you do or say, but what you feel.

You feel as you think.

When you prioritize your well-being, well-being becomes your blueprint.

How you treat yourself becomes a guide for other people and for the universe. It shows them what kind of treatment is acceptable for you.

Whatever you give to yourself is what you get from others.

The post Prioritize How You Feel appeared first on Ani Rich.

When Does The Real Healing Take Place?!

We start our healing when we first become aware.

Aware of our life, our thoughts our actions. As if almost we see ourselves from afar.

At first, you think that healing is something you get after you complete certain tasks. Like letting go of trauma, patterns, habits, etc.

Down the road, you realize that healing is happening on a moment-to-moment basis. Through every breath, you take and every thought you think, every word you speak, and every action you take.

At first, you seek the things that you think healing can give you.

In the process, you realize that the things you have been chasing are already inside of you. That you are all of those things like peace, love, joy, fulfillment, happiness, and contentment.

Real healing happens when you have created a system where everything that comes up in your life and happens to you isn’t something you are reactive to anymore but responsive.

A system where you know your mind plays tricks on you at your lowest and your ego lies to you at your highest.

A system where no matter how you feel and what’s happening to you, you know that it’s okay and that it too shall pass.

A system where you are at ease with what is.

Everything you ever wanted was already within your reach.

Healing is an active uncovering of your inner being.

You are healed when you finally meet yourself.

The post When Does The Real Healing Take Place?! appeared first on Ani Rich.

August Quotes

Here are some quotes that deeply affected me this month.

“It is not your job to make something happen—Universal Forces are in place for all of that. Your work is to simply determine what you want.”

Esther Hicks

“I will prepare and some day my chance will come.”

Abraham Lincoln

Look around less, imagine more.

Esther Hicks

The greatest gift you can ever give another person is your own happiness.

Esther Hicks

The post August Quotes appeared first on Ani Rich.