Emily Henderson's Blog, page 124

Sara Got Married! A DIY Wedding In The Desert That Was Filled With Nothing But Love

Today I’m here with a post of a very personal nature. I’m not really one to share a lot about my personal life. Sure, I’ll give you the intimate details on my cabinets or type for hours about every agonizing design decision I’ve ever made. But sharing details about the parts of my life that are non-design related? Harder (for me). And yet, so many wonderful people worked so hard to make this one beautiful day a reality. So, here it is. A blog post about my wedding.

Macauley and I met in 2008, as freshmen at Otis College of Art & Design, within two days of starting school. Second semester we ended up in the same elective class. Fast forward nine years, two cats, one chargrilled apartment, and a house renovation later, and we were on a road trip up the Oregon coast. It was August 2020, and we were looking for a safe way to do something after quarantining the past few months. We figured a road trip and some camping sounded safe enough. And after driving 14 hours the day before, and a sunset hike up a mountain, at the top of Cape Perpetua, Macauley proposed.

pre-engagement selfie | video chatting with my mom post-engagement | macauley got my engagement ring at an antique store in new orleans

It was private and wonderful, and only made better by the fact that we spent so much time at the top of the look out (the only place with service) calling our friends and family, that we both killed our phone batteries and had to walk back down the service road in absolute forest darkness.

Planning a wedding at the best of times sounds stressful. But planning a wedding during a pandemic was exhausting. And what no one tells you is that after the excitement of getting engaged, planning a wedding is homework. Very expensive homework. And as we assessed costs and safety issues, it began to feel overwhelming and near impossible. And then Macauley’s mom, who lives out in Yucca Valley (a little town right next to Joshua Tree National Park), offered her backyard as a venue. It would need some landscaping, and we’d have to bring everything in ourselves, but it was beautiful, and it was free.

our first “site” visit

So began the planning in earnest of our backyard wedding, which would take place Saturday, October 2nd, 2021.

For our invitations we turned to our good friend Brooke Granowski, who owns and runs her own printing and book binding studio in Los Angeles called Sorella Studios. We went with gold foil letterpress on a terracotta paper, to really set the desert tone for our wedding. She even designed us our own wedding logo, which we used everywhere.

Insert here exactly what you’d imagine a year of planning a largely DIY backyard wedding during a pandemic would look like, and you’ve probably got a pretty accurate idea. So, instead let’s jump to…

The day before our wedding some family and very, very good friends (including our entire wedding party) drove out to the desert and spent the whole day setting up all the decor in the backyard. We strung up hundreds of string lights (battery-powered, solar-powered, and plugin – most of which my mom had bought on sale the weekend after Christmas from Target and Home Depot), framed photos, filled lumenarias, and set up furniture. It was a long day, but our family and friends were amazing and their energy never dipped.

The vibe was immaculate all day.

only real kisses during the rehearsal

Because our dance floor and all our rental furniture were delivered the day before, we had decided to just have our rehearsal dinner there in the backyard. So after some very laidback walk-thrus, we ordered pizza from a local place, invited anyone who had gotten into town early to come hang out, and started testing out the dance floor. It was one of the most fun parts of the whole weekend, and EHD alumn Veronica was there to capture it.

Did we then go back to our Airbnb at a reasonable hour, and get a full night of sleep before the big day? No. Instead we did what any reasonable wedding party would do and went to Sonic’s for shakes, then stayed up until 1am.

my morning view

We rented an Airbnb out in Flamingo Heights for us and some of our friends to stay at through the weekend. It was a large spread-out compound, with a main house where Macauley and I stayed, two airstream trailers, and a yurt (fully insulated with power!) for our guests. Waking up on my wedding day to a beautiful, brisk desert morning was sensational. I got up early and sat outside to write my vows, with 360 views of the desert landscape around me. It was a much-needed moment of calm before a very loud, crazy, and fun storm.

We invited everyone in the wedding party to come get ready together at the compound, and once the crew arrived it was non-stop from then on.

Getting ready with Macauley, all of our friends, was one of the best parts of the day. It was just filled with so much joy and chaos – people shouting, laughing, passing around a bottle of Remy 1738, singing… It’s rare to have so many of your favorite people all in one place together, all there to support you. I was hit with a constantly overwhelming feeling of gratitude and love all morning.

Toward the end of the morning my mom came to help me get ready, and that was such a special time. I was so appreciative of every moment with her.

Right before our “first look” I got nervous. Everything was suddenly becoming very real, and it hit me that almost 10 years together, and a year and half of planning and work, were about to culminate in an event that would (hopefully) only happen once in our lives. And it was going to be over in a matter of hours. I suddenly felt like every moment was slipping by too quickly, and some anxiety started to creep in.

waiting for macauley | on his way

All of that changed the minute Macauley stood in front of me and we both opened our eyes. Literally every anxiety that had been racing through my head melted away, and I was immediately back in the moment. We had sent everyone except the photographer and my mom ahead of us to the wedding site, and having this quiet time to take photos alone together was the grounding moment I needed. Instead of feeling nervous or awkward I felt beautiful and had so much fun.

Our photographer, Anais Possami, was incredible. I had been worried about finding a photographer that would fit with us, but from the second she showed up – quietly getting started without much direction – I felt completely at ease around her. She was relaxed, and most of the time we didn’t even notice where she was. But she captured each and every moment perfectly. We also had an awesome videographer, Robert Schultze, who captured every minute of our days, and edited together a 20 minute documentary of our wedding.

Because of the pandemic, I wasn’t able to try on wedding dresses in-store. So I ordered a bunch and tried them on in my parent’s living room. And trying on dresses that are too long, too wrinkled, and too heavy, in a living room doesn’t really give you the environment conducive to “envisioning” yourself on your wedding day.

But, I fell in love with my dress the instant I put it on. It fit perfectly, and it truly felt like a cliche “aha” moment. The best part? It was the most affordable dress I ordered, coming in at only $150 from Lulus.com.

I wanted to go for a 70s look, somewhere between bohemian and Vegas. And the bell sleeves of the dress mixed with the high leg slit checked both boxes. I had the dress tailored a bit because I’m very short, but also had the seamstress add a bustle and satin buttons down the entire back. My grandma always said she imagined me wearing a dress with buttons down the back, because she thought it was the most elegant a dress could get. My shoes were “new with tags” Loeffler Randall from Poshmark, and my veil was $20 on Amazon.

My hair and make-up was done by Colette Becar from Emily Lynn & Co – and she was a magician. To say I was terrified of getting my hair and makeup done would be an understatement. To me, foundation feels heavy, lipstick always seems to make my whole mouth area look wrong, and eyeshadow makes my eyes small. But I trusted Colette, and I’ve never felt as beautiful as I did on that day. I told her natural, but better, and she delivered. And I had my beautiful lashes done by Tiina Troberg of Lash Bar By Dermacilia. I can’t recommend either of these ladies enough.

Where I saved on my wedding dress, Macauley splurged on his suit, opting for a custom velvet suit jacket and cropped slacks made by Chookhare & Sons. Which made sense, because he’s already worn his suit to another wedding, whereas I can’t really ware my wedding dress to…someone else’s wedding. And instead of wearing a traditional pressed shirt, Macauley and all of his groomsmen wore patterned silk shirts for a more casual and personal look.

After the “first look” we headed to the venue (Macauley’s mom’s house)…

The day before we had lined the pathway into the backyard from the street with lumenarias (brown paper bags filled with sand holding a candle – we opted for battery-operated tea lights), so guests would be able to see the path once it got dark. And at the entrance, we set up a table with childhood photos of both Macauley and I, as well as photos of loved ones who were no longer with us.

We had really wanted our wedding to feel warm and inviting, and avoid anything that could make it feel like it was happening at a hotel or resort. So we rented vintage furniture from Found Rentals. The final outcome was exactly what we wanted, and every piece of furniture added a little bit of soul.

We lined the aisle on the way up to the alter with vintage rugs we brought from home. And at the end stood a gold archway I bought used from a friend of a friend, who had used it for their wedding. But what really made this whole area special were the flowers, which were a wedding gift from Emily Henderson herself – someone who truly understands the power of good floral.

Not only were the flowers a gift, but all of the early morning flower market shopping, hauling out to the desert, and arranging of them were also done by some incredible EHD alumns – Emily Bowser, Erik Staalberg, and Velinda Hellen. So you could say my wedding florals were an EHD collaboration. Hot Tip: Make friends with stylists and then have them do your wedding flowers because they will look heartbreakingly beautiful. I handed over full trust to Bowser (and her team – of my very good friends, haha), and it was a huge relief to know that no matter what happened come wedding day, the flowers at least would be beautiful.

My mom made me and my dad have our own first look, which felt hilarious, but I’m so happy she did because the photos from it are some of my favorite from the day. We were pretty casual about people seeing us before the ceremony, and really just enjoyed the little bit of time we had before walking down the aisle. We had week of coordination by Jenny, from Orange Blossom Special Events, and both she and her assistant were so lovely and helped the day run very smoothly.

getting pep talks before walking down the aisle

We were played down the aisle by cellist Hitoshi Suzuki. Hiring him was one of the best decisions we made for that day. Not only did he already have a beautiful selection of both classical and contemporary songs to choose from, but we had two specific songs we really wanted to have played while we walked down the aisle – AND HE LEARNED THEM.

He played a selection of music during the pre-ceremony for our guests and played our procession in and out of the ceremony. The song we walked into was called Casadha an tSugain. He also learned “Mystery of Love” by Sufjan Stevens. 12 out of 10, would hire again.

Instead of creating, printing, and handing out wedding programs, we just updated our wedding website to include a digital version of our wedding program. It also included a seating chart, a menu, and a link to view the live stream of our wedding. There were so many people we weren’t able to invite due to the safety concerns, as well as the size of the venue. But live-streaming the wedding at least allowed more people to be with us on our day.

Our ceremony was my absolute favorite part of the whole day.

We asked our good friend, Tones, to officiate, and he was amazing. He really blew everyone away with his thoughtful words. Our ceremony was short, personal, and beautiful.

I went first with our vows because I didn’t think I’d be able to get through them if I went second. I think in total our ceremony lasted about 15 minutes, and they were the best 15 minutes of my life.

Right after the ceremony, our photographer snuck us away for a few minutes alone and a few more photos.

Next, we grabbed our wedding party for a few quick photos, while our guests headed to enjoy a cocktail hour.

The bar was open, there were quesadillas, albondigas, and taquitos being passed around, and our photo booth was ready for use.

It was finally time for the party to start.

The reception was set up to happen just to the left of the ceremony site. We circled the tables around the dance floor, and relocated the same chairs that everyone had sat in for the ceremony (with the help of a few friends and family).

Each table was decorated with a gauze runner in a cream or rust tone, votive candles that my mom had been collecting all year, a framed QR code which guests could use to access the wedding program and dinner menu, handwritten name cards, and flowers.

6 months before the wedding I got the crazy idea in my head that I wanted vintage glassware. But it was turning out to be pretty expensive to rent. So, I decided to just…collect it myself. I scoured Etsy, thrift stores, the Rose Bowl flea, I even shipped some back from an antique store in New Orleans (where I had my bachelorette party). I ended up collecting some 180 coupes and water glasses in a rainbow of colors and styles, which we also used at my bridal shower!

My dad kicked the reception off with a speech that blew everyone (including me, his own daughter who has known him my entire life) away with his thoughtful, kind, and endearingly-awkward-in-a-classic-way-that-only-a-dad-can-be words.

Dinner was up next, and we had decided to serve our one of favorites – tacos. Both having grown up in Southern California, the taco stand or truck is a mainstay of life here. Quick lunch on the way out? Tacos. Coming home from a party or bar at 2 am? Tacos. Hungover the next morning? More tacos. No one makes tacos like Los Angeles.

Taqueria Vista Hermosa has been owned and operated by Raul in Los Angeles for years, and his family has been making al pastor for generations. You can taste that history in every bit of his food. Also, Raul is the best. We went for a tasting at his stall in Mercado La Paloma over by USC (which you can visit too!), and he personally came out to greet us, go over our vision, and customize a menu of tray-passed appetizers, tacos, drinks, and desserts.

All the tortillas were made fresh on site, all the guacamoles and salsa were house-made, and his team brought house-made mixes for specialty margaritas (like tamarind). He also provided freshly made horchata and jamaica. His staff was wonderful, the food was delicious, and the setup was beautiful.

We let the guests go through the taco line table by table, and got to spend some time saying hello to everyone. And then, while everyone finished eating, our friends Nafeesa, Nicole, and Pablo dragged all of our dirty laundry out in front of our guests with their speeches.

My brother Shade, and his two best friends (who have become our two good friends), did a live set of songs they had picked and made everyone cry.

Which was followed by a surprise duet of “I Follow You Into The Dark” by Shade and his girlfriend Natalie, which really sent us over the edge.

And then Macauley and I had our first dance to “Kissing You” from Baz Luhrmann’s “Romeo + Juliet”. I thought it was going to be super awkward dancing alone in front of a crowd of people, but as soon as the song started playing it was truly like we were the only people there. ROMANCE.

I had a dance with my dad, Macauley had a dance with his mom…

And then the dance floor officially opened for everyone (but mostly for Erik).

Hilariously, Erik is now a kind of legend to my entire family in Guatemala, because he danced so much with my great aunt who was visiting. She calls him “the beautiful man in blue”.

for the reception i changed into this all sequined dress i pulled from emily’s garage!

DJ Chuck Supreme, a local of Pasadena, kept the dance floor full all night and played something for everyone.

My favorite part of the reception was the vintage, black and white, real film strip photo booth, which we rented from Photomatica. We got so many good photos of our guests from it, and it made for fun party favors for the guests. The booth attendants were phenomenal, and the photo strips were unlimited.

We ended the night with a cake cutting of a cake that almost didn’t make it to the wedding.

Why? Because we all forgot to pick it up. About 20 minutes before the ceremony started someone was like “…where’s the cake?” It was 2:55, the bakery closed at 3. But between a phone call to the bakery and a hero guest who ran off to pick it up, we still had a cake for cutting.

By midnight it was time to wind things down. At the venue at least. Most of our friends headed back to our airbnb to keep the partying going. I promptly fell asleep on the sunporch couch.

Was I exhausted by the end of this night? Yes. But also overflowing with joy, gratitude, and SO MUCH FREAKING LOVE. Somehow, amidst a pandemic, our friends, family, and some amazing vendors came together to give us a wedding that was totally US. And now, almost 8 months into being married, I wouldn’t do a single thing differently.

The post Sara Got Married! A DIY Wedding In The Desert That Was Filled With Nothing But Love appeared first on Emily Henderson.

There Are 3 Design Trends In Kirsten Blazek’s Guesthouse That We Love And Think You Should See

Whenever a project by Kirsten Blazek (principal designer and founder of A1000XBetter) comes across our desks, I know I am about to see a design that will stay etched in my brain for a while. In fact, pick any past project by AXB and you will see a design that is intentional, practical, and yet dripping with charm and personality. It’s her unique style and bold design choices that always keep you guessing and wanting more. Today’s guesthouse tour is no exception and once again I had the distinct pleasure of picking her brain about each detail. Get ready for some expert design wisdom and a heavy dose of her eclectic soulful style.

The guesthouse, formerly the garage, underwent a gut renovation that transformed the space into an inviting hangout area for the whole family and guests to enjoy. Just looking at the exterior, you can already see Kirsten’s signature style coming through. The bold paint color makes a statement right off the bat and is complemented with copper-colored sconces and those incredible doors that I just had to learn more about.

Where are the exterior doors from? Are they stained glass? Are they custom? 

The exterior doors were something that I felt strongly needed to be a special moment so I commissioned David Schneid  a local LA-based stain glass artist) to come up with the design. I wanted to incorporate the moon into the design and we selected colors that were cohesive with the overall color schemes for both the guesthouse and the main house.

We’ve been noticing more commissioned stained glass pieces popping up on our radar (take Bri of Designlovefest‘s new stained glass window in her upstate New York home for example). It’s not for every style home but when it works, it’s a fantastic way to add a personal unique feature to your home.

If you have seen any of Kirsten’s projects, you know that she works with wallpaper frequently and masterfully. So anytime I see a design of hers I expect a wallpaper moment that instantly elevates the space. The wallpaper here does not disappoint but as many of us know, choosing and installing wallpaper is not for the faint of heart so I had to ask:

How do you go about choosing wallpaper? Do you choose the wallpaper first and then select furniture and decor? Or vice versa? 

Wallpaper is my all-time favorite design element to add layering and interest to a room – the right wallpaper can really elevate any space. Often, I will start the design process around a specific wallpaper I have in mind. I love black and white wallpaper, as it tends to act as a neutral palette against any colors in a space. I think it is important to think about what you want to achieve with the wallpaper you choose. Is the wallpaper going to make a statement and serve as the most significant design choice in the room, or is simply a pretty backdrop to the rest of the furnishings? If the wallpaper is the statement piece in a room, don’t be afraid to go bold. If it’s acting as a complementary backdrop to the space, find a paper that is interesting but doesn’t overwhelm the furnishings. Always keep your color story in mind when picking out wallpaper.

In this space specifically, the wallpaper works well because it’s both neutral and playful. The white and gray colors don’t overwhelm the space, but the cactus and plant pattern speaks to the eclectic Southwestern rustic vibe that Kirsten is going for. The youthful pattern complements the design and the colors keep it from overpowering the rest of the space.

Tub Sofa | Rug

Kirsten’s signature Southwestern-inspired style is creatively showcased through art, wallpaper, and pattern and is met with modern shapes that create an organic feel. See how every element here brings something new but plays within a strict color palette? The art is bold and bright, the wallpaper is neutral yet playful, the decor is patterned and colorful, the furniture is round and textured, and all these are tied together through the color palette. It’s a prime example of how she mixes textures and patterns in a way that comes across as unexpected but effortless.

Merrick Swivel Chair

What’s your advice on mixing patterns and textures? 

I would say to trust your instinct and don’t always follow the rules when it comes to mixing patterns and textures. That being said, there are some loose guidelines to follow. For example, the colors should complement each other and the rest of the space. Too much of one pattern or texture is never good. Try mixing a more geometrical pattern with something with a softer feel. Don’t forget about neutrals – they can really help ground the entire collection.

Ceiling Lumber

Though this space has so many decor pieces to look at and admire, your eye is drawn to the ceiling almost immediately. Some may think it’s a simple wood ceiling and leave it at that, but something about the rich color and texture makes it special. I am so drawn to the rustic, natural look of it so I had to ask Kirsten more about it:

Can you tell us about the amazing wood ceiling?

I wanted the guesthouse to feel just as finished as a main home and I thought of the ways I could truly make it feel rich and layered. I decided to clad the pitched ceiling in this lovely oak cladding from Resawn Timber. It really helped elevate the guesthouse and added a cozy, rustic element to the space.

Dancing Pendant | Sconces

Let’s pause for a second just to admire some of the decor here. That pendant, for one, stopped me in my tracks. It’s one of the more modern, stand out pieces here that juxtaposes all of the earth tones and vintage elements. Then there is the vintage coffee table that grounds the space with its organic texture and neutral tone, paired with the chunky side chairs that add even more texture. (P.S. The coffee table is a prime example of a trend that Caitlin is writing about as we speak..so stay tuned on that :)). The mini bulb sconces bring in a playfulness that contrasts the very grand pendant light. It’s all about mixing and matching different styles in a way that is intentional, a trick that Kirsten is clearly an expert at.

Is there a bed or bedroom in this guesthouse or is it strictly a hang space?

I’m a mother to teenagers, so I specifically furnished the space with my kids in mind. I wanted them to have a space to hang out with their friends, and as needed, be the perfect spot for entertaining guests.  Fortunately, there’s room for a bed, and the space can easily be converted to accommodate guests.

Unexpected places to hang art is one of our favorite topics around here, so when I saw the low hanging art under the sconce, I was immediately intrigued. Sometimes art is hung low for practical reasons (needing a stud for example) but it’s also a great way to create visual interest.

We love all the art placement! Was the low hanging art purely an aesthetic choice? 

Yes and no. I typically love hanging art lower than one would expect and I had a large print by one of my favorite artists, Mark Maggiori, and this was the only wall big enough for this piece. I had sconces installed from Virginia Sin and I chose to display the art below the sconces.

Speaking of unexpected art placement, if you look closely in the kitchen you’ll see another art placement that Emily loves and recently wrote about here. It’s hanging art over tile! It sounds scary I know, but you can use command strips or even a drill bit and it’s pretty low risk but high reward. It looks cool and is a budget-friendly way to refresh a space.

Was there a reason you chose different tones of wood for the ceiling and flooring? 

I prefer not to match woods. I truly feel that too much of one thing is never good, so I chose a very neutral, almost white wide-plank oak for the floor and a richer and more rustic knotted wood cladding for the ceiling. 

Indeed, too much of one type of wood could feel overbearing and the different tones actually forces your eye up, making the room feel taller and bigger.

Skylight

We can spot a Velux skylight from a mile away, and were so happy to see one here. You’ve heard it here again and again but truly, nothing compares to a skylight when it comes to adding natural light. We always say if you are renovating and have the ability to add a skylight, then honey, you should absolutely add that skylight.

Another design choice that is certainly worth mentioning is the backsplash tile. I love that she used tile to break up the wallpaper and add yet another texture and color. It’s a similar tone as the ceiling so it’s pleasing to the eye, and if you look closely you’ll see that the tile isn’t flat but has a rounded, bubbled shape. This creates even more movement and adds a layer of softness. This is a tile trend that’s been happening overseas and is finally making its mark in the US.

We love that you wallpapered your hood! Were there any additional precautions you had to take installing since it was over the stove?

We didn’t take any extra precautions but we did install a powerful ventilation system. I knew that the guest house kitchen was not going to be used on a daily basis,  so we decided to install the wallpaper on the hood. 

As Kirsten said, this kitchen isn’t intended to be used daily, so the wallpaper isn’t a huge risk factor here. If you are thinking about wallpapering a hood in your kitchen that you do use every day, we advise checking the safety and durability of the wallpaper first.

Tile

We’ve been seeing that awesome style of tile more and more. Do you think it’s about to be a trend?

Regarding the bathroom tile, I do think that it is an earthy organic look that we will start seeing more of. However, this works better in homes located in the West and Southwest of America, as opposed to the East coast, where it may feel out of place.

I love the bathroom paint color! What color is it? How did you go about selecting a color that mixes so well with the amazing tile?

I chose this Cotto Terracotta tile from Zia Tile for the shower walls and bathroom floor – I love the warm, natural element and the color is serene and calming. There’s no natural light in the bathroom, so I chose to embrace the darkness of the space and I selected a dark green paint color. This shade of paint complements the orange tile so beautifully and brings out an earthy, relaxed vibe to the bathroom.

Mirror | Paint Color

The bathroom mirror is awesome as well. Where is that from?

The bathroom mirror is from Lostine Home – we needed a small mirror because of the size of the wall-mounted apron sink and I loved how the color of the leather-wrapped frame looked with the tile.

Lastly, I have to note how much she did with this small bathroom. There isn’t a ton of wall space so she hung the towel bar vertically (genius) and since there isn’t a lot of counter space she chose to hang the soap dispenser on the wall as well. It gives off a very cool restaurant vibe that is actually very attainable. I am obsessed with these two tricks and want to copy them immediately in my tiny bathroom.

So, now that you’ve virtually toured the space, I’m curious what is your favorite part?? I can name 100 things I love so I want to know what tickles your design brain most. Sound off in the comments below and don’t forget to follow Kirsten for more eclectic and inspiring designs.

*Design by Kirsten Blazek
**Photos by Alex Zarour of Virtually Here Studios 

The post There Are 3 Design Trends In Kirsten Blazek’s Guesthouse That We Love And Think You Should See appeared first on Emily Henderson.

The FINAL Kitchen Patio Design With Yardzen

** I wrote this post days ago, postponed til today, publishing it with discomfort and sadness during what is another ugly day after ugly day in America. While I don’t want to move on I also know there might be times in your day where you want to think about something else. So if that time is now here you go.

As the inside of the farm is coming along, the outside is NOT. It’s like spending $1k to detail the inside of your car and leaving the exterior covered in bird poop and layers of dirt. Part of me wants to close my eyes, climb into the car and never look out the windsheild, because cleaning that poop off and designing/landscaping this yard is going to be daunting and expensive. Luckily I have these renderings to look at and I can feel hope for the future, that one day we may not have to apologize or do that annoying dance of ‘we are still working on the …,” or “please excuse the…’, etc. to people when they come over. A few weeks ago we showed you the first round of renderings from Yardzen for our kitchen patio and covered walkway area (essentially the entire south side of the house) which we loved. Since they sent it to us we realized that the covered walkway needed some major changes and we had some additional notes. So today I’ll walk you through those changes as well as show you a real-time side by the side of what it looks like now and what it will look like in 2 years (planting this fall but realistically not fully grown in for a couple of years). We need a major car wash here with the help of Yardzen.

THE COVERED WALKWAY

This was the biggest challenge because we love the covered walkway so much, and yet the locaiton of the new kitchen door made it really off center to the walkway. The whole thing was just a mess to figure out until one day I was standing back and maybe Jamie mentioned it first, not sure, but we realized that we could lose one “leg” of it and it would simplify the roofline so much, make the kitchen patio bigger and solve all of our overhang issues.

So as you can see we will just cut it off here so that it dead-ends into the patio – only one long roofline and they’ll rebuild the roof to be pretty and intentional.

The rendering above does not reflect how ARCIFORM would build it – they would pitch the roof back down so as you are looking at it you see the roof angled up (not just looking cut off). Here is the view facing North towards the house. We will have Clematis, Ferns, and Jasmine layered around the walkway creating a fun sensory experience of organic texture and the oh so sweet smell of Jasmine…I can’t wait!

The walkway is so dreamy and just needs some love. We are big fans of ferns over here and with some light pink climbers I think it’s going to be stunning.

As you can see we had them switch the trees from white to pink – not bright pink but more coppery tones.

THE NEW RAILING + LANDING

The new little landing had room for a little bench, but it didn’t have room for the same chunky railing, so here we are doing a metal railing which I think ties in nicely with the diamond pattern original windows and the black wrought iron accents. The one thing that we are waiting to figure out is an overhang over the door. Now the kids have a couple of other entries that we are hoping to force them to use on a daily basis, but trust that for groceries, etc, this will be the main one. So in a perfect world, there would be a cover over the door more than what there is here. Had we figured out this whole situation earlier we would have integrated it into the roofline, but since we didn’t it will need some support (i.e. posts) which will disrupt it all. So we are waiting to see what we need – we’ll live there in the winter to figure out how annoying this is with the rain. I have a feeling it won’t be that big of a deal. We have the front porch and the mudroom which are all covered for guests or people waiting for someone to open. On dry days they can take their shoes off outside (or leave their super muddy ones) and on rainy days we’ll just force them to go through the mudroom or front porch (I hope).

How sweet is that? We will likely not put pillows on it like the rendering, haha, but my Wellies. As you can see its not covered which means that any shoes will get rained on in the winter, but having a little landing for the shoes for the dryer months I think is useful.

In these renders you can tell that the table is too small (my choice) so I’ll figure out what we want to do here. Also I had Yardzen scale back the amount of plants as we still have residual shame from not keeping our indoor plants alive years ago, but I have to remind myself that literally everything grows in Oregon, except when it’s summer when it’s all of a sudden 100 degrees. I’M SO CONFUSED ABOUT THIS WEATHER.

BRICK PATTERN REIMAGINED

So we changed the brick pattern again, and yet this is still NOT decided because after we were almost 100% on the Spanish bond pattern the brick company (Glen Gery) said that the pattern would create so much waste. Now that I’m writing that I’m wondering if we could still tweak that pattern to make it work. Cali from Studio Campo (which is doing more of the whole homestead plan) came up with this running bond in the shape of a larger herringbone – working out from the middle. We were going to partner with GlenGery (this brick is called ‘old city brick’ and it’s awesome) because we loved the product and reached out to see if this would be mutually beneficial. They were excited to be part of the project. So I want to use the product how they recommended it best installed, but then just this week they let us know that shipping is 7k and going up quickly. So now we are re-thinking this again. Sure we save on product but between shipping and the installation of this brick, the patio is going to be so expensive and we are starting to pump the breaks a bit.

NEW BORDER TREATMENT

We opted for the brick border because as my brother puts it, ‘Don’t put dirt by your house or it will look muddy all year and you’ll be power washing it 5 times a year”. I think we are afraid of it being just dirty and gross out there, so we are keeping this area cleaner and adding more pots. But most of the house will have plants against the house so I’m not sure how to avoid what ken is talking about. Do you put pebbles between the plants and the exterior of the house? Do tell?!

PLANTINGS

So good. We have all these beautiful plants along the south wall, providing some privacy and softening the scale of the house. And then the patio is more clean (for now) and we can dress it up with more pots if we want to. Yardzen nailed it.

THE FINAL PLANS

One of the things that has come up a lot is how to edge the pea gravel. Yardzen, Studio Campo and I all wanted brick lining. Great. Why pea gravel? Well, we love the casual vibe of gravel and it’s more affordable than masonry work like flagstone and brickwork, and DG might turn to mud up here in the winter. But mostly it’s the vibe. The crunch. The casualness. But what we didn’t predict is that to do it properly its still really expensive. Rock right now is more expensive than it used to be, plus labor of course. Our build team wants us to edge it with steel which we know works and is the cheapest option but it’s not the vibe of this farm – that kind of edging makes it look so manicured and too straight almost. So we had chosen brick (which is what Yardzen also loved) but I guess to do that you have to dig down and do some sort of plastic divider and then line it – aka again, not cheap. But honestly we don’t want a super straight manicured path, we wanted a pebble walkway to the back, with a crunchy sound and just rocks on both sides. So we are figuring out what the solution is.

The Autocad plans

Ok. now these are the plans that Yardzen will give to our build team which help them A. quote and B. execute. There might be some ‘in the field game day’ changes of course, but this is such an incredible service to be able to hand over.

It is going to be GLORIOUS!When it looks like THIS…

Of course, the styling might change at any moment – I think the table we chose is too small, for instance, and we’d likely want at least to sit 8 people so I might go back to a rectangle. But what I know is that the renderings from Yardzen are SO incredibly helpful to see what works and what needs to be re-thought. More than anything we are wondering if we are overthinking the rest of the yard – we actually liked the rural/rustic nature of the property when we bought it, but have since kinda destroyed the area around the house. We have all these incredible people working on it, which we feel so grateful for (Studio Campo, Yardzen, and the landscape crew which I’ll link up soon) but we are so fearful that we are making expensive permanent decisions that we are going to regret and that if we just lived in a less manicured state for a couple of years we’d have a better idea of our true needs. But we can’t live in a mud pit so do we invest some knowing that things might change? It’s such a domino effect.

Remember last week when I said it feels like a firehose of cash going nonstop and no one can find the ‘off’ nozzle? Don’t feel sorry for me, not asking for pity obviously because it’s a true privilege to be able to beautify your home in any way, but I know that many of you have been in this position and can relate. The interior is one thing – it is directly related to my work and my partnerships – I want and need this house to be beautifully executed inside for our famly’s enjoyment first and foremost, but also because it supports the business. We just so wish that we could live on the property and know how we are going to use the exterior before we invest so much in the landscaping. At this point, the construction to rebuild the inside of the house has fully torn up the yard so we have to do something short-term to not live in a mud pit. We might phase it out more than we had originally planned to help replenish the budget and to mostly make sure that we are making the right decisions – based on actually living there, not trying to predict our future needs and wants. It’s starting to feel reckless and once you get that feeling, you need to stop and re-assess.

So here is what we are starting with: Demo of the roof/covered pathway that is close to the kitchen, demo of the concrete and flagstone (to be repurposed), install of the kitchen patio floor and plantings along the south wall and covered pathway. Brian and I are meeting for hours a day on site to troubleshoot the rest of the property – all things driveway (boring and $$$$), sports court revamp (exciting but $$$), new lawn (necessary but $$), privacy fencing and vehicular gates (necessary but $$$$) and planting (good to have, but can be $$$$). We hope to have some answers and clarity soon I promise.

More to come for the back porch which is what Yardzen is tackling next as soon as Brian and I make some decisions. But a quick endorsement – I have LOVED working with Yardzen thus far and found their ideas awesome, their aesthetic extremely aligned with mine and most importantly their expertise impressive.

*Sidenote: I was super happy to hear that they were named one of Inc magazines best workplace list, which makes me so happy. One of my contacts, Kevin, was gone on paternity leave at the beginning of the process for 3 months which just made me super super happy.

The post The FINAL Kitchen Patio Design With Yardzen appeared first on Emily Henderson.

What Do We Do?

We spend years of our young kid’s lives desperately avoiding their preventable deaths. We sign up for questionable swim lessons where our babies are thrown in a pool in hopes that should they stumble in, they won’t drown. We can’t prevent all genetic diseases, for instance, but once something becomes frequent society tries to do something about it (crosswalks, helmets, tempered glass, etc.). But the so-called “randomness” of mass shootings has become so common that despite its unpredictability it feels preventable. Yesterday, parents like us, dropped off their kids at elementary school hoping for a normal day, maybe even a good one. And hours later their never-ending nightmare began. Grocery stores. Concerts. Flea Markets. Nightclubs. Churches. High Schools. Elementary schools. What do we do? At this point, in the “gun debate” we know that nothing will change. Nothing. We don’t know all of the specifics about this particular shooting yet but we can generalize enough because we are all too familiar with this story. And we live in a politicized country that can’t seem to change it, controlled by the gun lobby. Do we accept it? Of course not. But we, the citizens for common-sense gun laws, can’t seem to change it and more and more people, kids are dying.

I won’t say anything new here, except this basic idea – dangerous things should be hard to get. For example, when I was in my twenties in New York I dabbled in recreational illegal drugs (which I would not do if I were that age now with the fentanyl scare – but that’s a totally different story/fear/epidemic). But it wasn’t always that easy to get, and if it had been I would have done it a lot more. Thank goodness for me it was illegal so it never affected my life too negatively because drugs can be very dangerous (as we know more than ever). We not only have laws but parental controls, even “age gates” controlling who has access to things that are dubbed “dangerous” for our kids to prevent bad things. I recently listened to a podcast about the link between access and use – it shows that when something was common in a neighborhood it directly affected how often kids did it – illegal drugs, prescription pills, underage drinking, guns, etc. It’s not that kids who lived in neighborhoods without those things couldn’t get their hands on it, of course they could, but it was just a lot harder. So much more effort had to go into tracking it down so the overall use was greatly diminished. It’s common sense that’s backed up by two generations of geographic data through this study. It negates the whole “guns don’t kill people, people kill people” bullshit that most of us don’t believe anyway. In this country, we love to blame individuals, as we should to an extent – we all have agency and should be accountable. But when something is “around,” common, normalized, and easy to get your hands on it, you are more likely to buy it, have it, and use it. Of course, this 18-year-old was mentally ill or evil if you believe in that, obviously. But guns make it easy to kill a lot of people – they aren’t recreational drugs, they are much more dangerous.

I know I’m preaching mostly to the choir here, but our values are so upside down when you can’t get the birth control pill over the counter, forcing pregnancies for those without easy access and yet in many states, including Texas, you can go into a store and simply buy a weapon that kills other people, a gun! Without a background check or permit! You don’t even need a prescription! Riddle me this, America? What are we doing??? We all know this but the hypocrisies are sometimes too shocking to not write down again and re-read. You can’t buy birth control over the counter, but you can buy a gun.

It’s all too much. I listened to another podcast that suggested a good coping tool for dealing with the tragedy of others is to learn about it, recognize it, help where you can, and then say to yourself “Ok. That’s bad. But that’s not my weather” so you can actually function. It’s selfish, for sure, but ruminating and catastrophizing about faraway problems you can’t solve isn’t healthy – not just for you, but your kids (a growing contributor to the anxiety problem). But the grocery store in Buffalo is our weather. The elementary school in Texas feels like my weather – every parent’s weather. These aren’t natural disasters 7,000 miles away or even problems in other countries that we can’t prevent. This is America’s weather. And its a really, really bad. If we accept another Sandy Hook – another mass elementary school shooting – without changing our gun laws, what happens next? To what end? And do we want to live here, risking the “randomness” of a mass shooting every day?

This. Is. Preventable.

Four years ago I learned a lot about why many of you own guns in this post and empathy was built. But like most of you today I feel really hopeless, helpless and so unsafe. The gun lobby rules our politics in this arena and Republicans are too scared of their funders and constituents to push back. I’ll desperately settle for harder access to guns for a diminished probability of a shooting happening near my family. I will sign the petitions and donate to Every Town, of course. But then what? Voting? Marching? What?

Why don’t we file a class action suit – American parents versus NRA? Lord knows they care about money so it would hit them where it hurts and there are a million lawyers who would battle it. If the politicians are going to be too cowardly to do anything a massive suit might curb their efforts. If you trace how most mass shooters have gotten their guns, there are enough that show how easy it is to get if you are mentally ill, underage, with a record, and not to mention can purchase the totally unnecessary semi-automatic cartridges that should 100% not be legal to in the first place. The majority of Americans want common-sense laws!

Those of you in Canada and Australia I know are again horrified and baffled that we remain in this situation. Maybe the Hendersons will join you sooner than later. Until then this is my version of yelling and screaming into the ether and praying that the families of these kids and all mass shooting victims might someday see stricter gun control. I’m just so sorry that we are collectively unable to prevent these mass shootings of children because we continue to normalize the ownership and use of guns by individuals in this country. Things that are dangerous, legal or not, should be hard to get. These deaths are, in fact, “preventable”.

Here is the link to the Moms Demand Action site and you can join a local Moms Chapter by texting the word ACT to 644-33

(P.S I focused on access to guns because to me it’s a common-sense doable gate and hard to argue with. Of course its also about mental health, toxic masculinity, racism, politics, and more.)

Opening Image Credit: via Time

The post What Do We Do? appeared first on Emily Henderson.

How To Make A Boring Room Look Better With These 4 Elements (And They’re All On Sale Right Now)

Color. Texture. Pattern. Shape. They’re the earth, air, fire, and water of design – you kiiiinda need all four if you want your home to feel balanced, collected, and finished. Today, I’m breaking down four classic EHD vignettes – you know, explaining why they work – while also sharing a few of my favorite now-on-sale pieces, so you can capture the same look and feel in your own home. READY TO GET STARTED?

Shapestyled by emily bowser | photo by bethany nauert | from: all your living room styling questions answered (plus some furniture & decor reviews)

Let’s kick this off by really breaking down the elements in this vignette, yeah?

Shape: OH MY. That graphic side table is kiiiinda the star of the show, don’t you think? It’s bold, but not overwhelming. I love how the round pillow breaks up the corner of this sofa while speaking to the circular opening, too – it makes this living room feel a lot more intentional and thoughtful.

Color: A little goes a long way here! Look again – the main furniture and decor pieces in this shot are all totally neutral (though honestly, I think I could make a pretty compelling argument that rust and sage can be neutral, too!). Spreading your shades around evenly is key as well as having that color pop a little – see how the terra-cotta color is peppered in on the tabletop, the sofa, in the books, in the rug AND adds that color depth? It feels balanced, finished, and fun.

Texture: Glass, metal, wood, ceramics, mohair (that throw is SO luxe, and also linked below – it’s worth it, even when it’s not on sale, IMO), linen, boucle…it all just looks so great when it’s layered together, you know? Even if color really isn’t your thing, having lots of textures will add visual interest and warmth!

Pattern: YOU CAN’T GO WRONG WITH A BROKEN STRIPE. This is my favorite print for those who are a little wary of entering the whole “mix-and-match” pattern arena – just pop in a thin stripe, like Bowser did above, and you’re golden. High-end pattern mixing, NO STRESS REQUIRED.

To that end, here are 9 of my favorite shaped pieces – from decor to furniture, so there’s something for every price point! – that’ll really make your room sing. All pieces in this post are from Lulu & Georgia, because they’re (a.) an awesome resource for all things home and (b.) a brand who chose to kick off their Memorial Day sale early, which means that I got to spend some time last week perusing and searching for the best deals to pass on to you. LET’S SHOP NOW, yeah?

Apolline Curio Cabinet: Timeless, classic, and a little more impactful than your standard rectangle-shaped cabinet.Chloe Burl Wood Console Table: SHOWSTOPPER. Burl is the perfect wood for this piece – the shape draws you in, and the burl keeps you staring. Match Cloche: I’m buying this for myself today! There’s something fun and unexpected about the scale of a fireplace cloche, don’t you think?Anabella Nightstand: It’s a bestseller for a reason! Those splayed legs infuse this classic nightstand with a LOT of character. Jimema Chandelier: This Mouille-style fixture can edge up your space while drawing your eye upwards. (Check out Lea’s basement for more styling inspiration!)Dame Dining Chair: These are VERY on-trend, but the neutral finish will keep them feeling relevant for years to come. Light + Ladder Kala Vase: Light + Ladder is one of my favorite makers right now – she really embodies the whole “own less, own well” idea and she’s made it her mission to good design accessible for all. BIG FAN.Brooke 3-Drawer Dresser: I mean…y’all have seen my dresser. You know how I feel about a waterfall edge! This one’s high-impact without sacrificing storage. Corso Side Table: Total chameleon – an organic modern shape that could also play well in rooms that lean a little more space-age or postmodern. Colorstyled by brady tolbert | photos by tessa neustadt | from: how we transformed our studio windows in one hour

As EHD’s resident fan of color (or at least like, loud color – the other gals are a little more discerning with their preferred palettes :)), I wanted to break down one of my all-time favorite vignettes next… (PS. Anyone else also start reading the blog around this time? This was one of the first reveals I saw!)

Color: When it comes to jumping-off points, those windows are a freakin’ DREAM. Take a peek at their palette, throw in a rug with hits of pink and blue to ground the space, grab a blush pouf, add a graphic pillow with a pop of orange, and hang some soft pastel sheers to bring it all together – DONE.

Texture: Mixing metallics, rattan, and leather is one of my all-time favorite combinations – it’s a little luxe and glam without being too over-the-top. (I think it’s one of Em’s favorite combos, too, judging by Birdie’s OG nursery – I’m filled with throwbacks today, y’all!)

Pattern: When you’re working with this much color, it’s okay to take it easy on the pattern! A rug and one accent pillow is more than enough to keep your eye moving through the space.

Shape: And, well, I mean…what here doesn’t have a cool shape? When you have a big statement piece of architecture – like these traditional gridded windows, aka straight line central – it’s kind of fun to play up the contrast by leaning into curvier, non-traditional pieces.

Aimee Mohair Throw: This is the mohair throw from above – I love it in this chartreuse-y mustard, but it comes in a ton of saturated color options. Fabienne Sofa: This rich color punches up a classic shape. Calabria Vase: When you have a vessel that makes this much of a statement, you can keep the rest of your decor simple. Lockwood Bed: Classic bed, beautiful velvet. What else could you need? (Maybe some style inspiration? See how Julie styled out this same bed right here!) Morris & Co. Strawberry Thief Wallpaper: If it’s good enough for Sara, it’s MORE than good enough for me. (And if you’re a fellow design nerd, I wrote about Strawberry Thief’s history right here!)Sabine Velvet Bolster Pillow: It’s a great (and affordable!) pick to flank both ends of a sofa, but I love it as a lumbar on a bed. Perfect finishing touch AND lots of colors available. Feathers’ Wall Art: If this color palette seems familiar, it’s because we just reviewed it above!!! Here’s your jumping off point. Charlotte Velvet Pillow: This navy is SO deep and luxe. You should see it in the light – it’s really simple and special. Monroe Velvet Round Pillow: You saw this styled out above, too. Great scale, great feel, and holds up well over time. Highly recommend. Texturephoto by sara ligorria-tramp | from: mountain house reveal: our light filled neutral & textural living room

The Mountain House is a veritable masterclass on texture. If you’re also a lover of a neutral interior, being intentional the materials in your home will be key to keeping your place from feeling flat and boring. Let’s break it down real quick, yeah?

Texture: A leather chair, lacquered teak end table, plush rug, thick blanket, and 3-material coffee table keep your eyes bouncing around this space. It feels dynamic and exciting, even without a ton of stuff. There aren’t a ton of repeating textures in this room, either – every piece gets its own chance to shine.
Pattern: Still, a few quiet patterns keep things interesting. The striped throw and pillow echo the staircase in the rear, and the Moroccan-style rug adds some really quiet movement.
Shape: Outside of the rug, everything in this shot has a little bit of a special twist: the low, clean-lined 1970s sofa paired with the gnarled and organic table; the chunky postmodern chair; the curved floor lamp and geometric vessels. If those are still a little too out-there for ya, never fear – an oval coffee table is also a great way to bring a fresher, more unexpected shape into your home.
Color: There’s something to be said for such a tight and refined color palette, you know? Sometimes, a few well-arranged branch clippings in an exciting vessel is the only finishing touch you need to make your place sing.

Maleena Rug: The carved linework on this one makes for an INCREDIBLE high-low texture. (The styled shots on the site are stunning!)Thomas Bina Olivia Coffee Table: I mean…this is the iconic EHD coffee table, guys. It deserves the hype.Dacey Hamper: Laundry’s a little easier when you’re tossing your clothes in something this chic. Sayan Pendant Light: The design impact:price ratio on this is already great – grabbing it on sale is a total steal.Nomad Rug: Élan Byrd’s entire collection is a slam dunk. This rug is a standout to me, though – it’s calming, modern, and the hand-knotted wool texture is even better in person. Sydney Dining Chair (Set Of 2): Ash wood AND boucle on one chair – what more can you ask for? Hannah Sideboard: This natural cane sideboard just feels warm, don’t you think? (It also comes with black exterior paneling, if you’re looking for something with a bit more visual weight.) Almarine Chain Décor: What can I say – I’m a sucker for a good chain This one’s marble (chic!) and the price tag blew me away – it was about 25% of what I had anticipated. Beehive Pendant Light: So fresh, breezy, light, and relaxed. If your style leans coastal or organic, this is a great option. Patternvia lulu and georgia

Last – but certainly not least! – we gotta take a second to talk about pattern (another favorite of mine!). I know that pattern mixing can be a little (or, uh, a lot) intimidating, so let’s take a harder look at what makes this work.

Pattern: First – and this may be my most helpful tip – it’s okay to repeat patterns if the scale of the piece is different! Example A: Take a peek at that striped lumbar in the front. Now, take a peek at the fifth pillow back – it’s the same pattern, just with a different shape (square vs. lumbar) and a different orientation (horizontal instead of vertical). If you’re still feeling nervous, you can check out Jess’ masterful explanation of how to mixing and match pattern right here.

Shape: Decor-wise, we’re pretty square here (just different sizes). Our variation is coming from the furniture – check out that wishbone leg on the dining table, the gentle slope of the chair back, and the curve of the light fixture. Even the dimension of the window seat provides some interesting shapes and visual interest, which is neat.

Color: When in doubt, pull your palette from nature! You ever notice how most windows are blown out in interior shots, but how these windows *aren’t* blown out? It’s so we can see the harmony between the inside and outside – there’s something really serene about “bringing the outdoors in” in such a doable way, you know?

Texture: I mean, glass. Metal. WOOD FOR DAYS. The leather bench cushion, the woven pillows, the ceramics on the table – it’s so balanced and lovely.

Ready for our final roundup?

 Benita Rug: Julie recently pulled this rug for an upcoming EHD reveal – stay tuned to see if it made the final cut! Irregular Checkerboard Bolster Pillow: The irregular pattern here puts a fresh spin on a classic motif. (Sarah Sherman Samuel is the master of the checkerboard, y’all.) Adara Headboard: A clean pinstripe makes a great backdrop for some calm, neutral bedding and some sweet layered pillows. Vyolet Accent Chair: A dreamy blend of traditionally masculine (the dark stripe) and feminine (the sweet shape) design elements. HUGE FAN. (Plus, check out those cute turned legs!!!)Malou Wallpaper: This little swatch doesn’t do it justice – this is a GREAT wallpaper for those looking to bring in movement without a ton of color. (I say this as someone who spends way too much time looking at/writing about wallpaper.) Irregular Dots Pillow: A texture AND pattern home run – this pillow is warm and special. Uma Rug: One of the reviews said it best: “A perfectly neutral non-neutral.” I love the taupe for quiet impact, but it comes in a black grid too (you know, if you’re looking for some more “umph” :)).Stonewalk Pillow: Another gem from the Élan Byrd collection! When mixing and matching pillows, you can’t go wrong with 2 solid pieces and a patterned lumbar. Elulia Throw: A classic stripe in a works-anywhere color? SIGN ME UP. This throw is versatile, comfortable, and the other piece I’ll personally be grabbing from the sale today.

ALRIGHT, GANG. Today was a mix of my two favorite things: writing about sales (your girl loves a deal – pulling together our holiday sale round up posts is one of my favorite parts of my job!) AND writing about why things work. I had a lot of fun combining the two, but what say you??? Any interest in more in-depth product roundups like this, or should we just keep it to the big sale list posts? (I can take your feedback, I promise!) LET’S CHAT ABOUT IT, PLEASE. xx

Opening Image Credit: via Lulu And Georgia

The post How To Make A Boring Room Look Better With These 4 Elements (And They’re All On Sale Right Now) appeared first on Emily Henderson.

Jess’ DIY Bench 2.0 – Her Solution To Her Ugly Electronics (Plus An Ask The Audience)

Les and Jess are at it again. For those who don’t know, Les is my dad and the carpenter hero to 99% of my room designs (the bench here, the banquette and counter here, and peg rail here). We’ve been building things together for as long as I can remember, and while it’s not always smooth sailing (you could say the apple doesn’t fall far from the stubborn tree), they are by far some of my favorite memories. ANYWAY, when I was starting to design my current living room, I knew there had to be a custom “Bunge Bench TM”. It’s the law. Again if you are newish here, this is the wrap-around bench I designed for my last apartment that was perfectly built by DIY DAD, Lester Bunge.

photo by sara ligorria-tramp | from: moto reveal: jess’ living room

Not only did I love it with all my heart, but y’all were also pretty into it too which made it even more special. Unfortunately, there wasn’t a spot for it in my new place so it now lives at my dad’s which feels right given that he built it. So aside from the fact that it wouldn’t have fit, I also needed a bench that was more of a cabinet and here’s why…

AHHHHH. MY EYES. I get extremely bummed out when I have to see lots of electronics and cords. I know I’m not alone in this so I wanted to come up with a pretty way to only see them when necessary. Is a cabinet bench a new idea? No. But finding one that met all of my measurement, style, and potential financial limitations was going to be ummm…impossible? I should also mention that my living has only two outlets meaning I had only two spots where these technological terrors could live. One being on the wall you see above and the other on the wall under my non-turret window which you will see in a sec. A cabinet bench just made the most sense.

photo by sara ligorria-tramp | from: moto reveal: jess’ home office

Now, let’s revisit my “office” for a minute. I am so happy with how it turned out. I think it balances bold and soft, earthy and luxe, and classic and modern. Those were my main goals and my biggest stresses:) I want to continue that through the space, bringing in rich colors, patterns, and materials.

So here is where this “cool” electronics storage cabinet bench will live. I love the idea of some extra seating (I need to get a cushion made so that will be new for me), I love that the outlet will be covered, and of course, I love that my electronics will be tucked away nicely. But what will it look like???

from: what furniture/decor we’d want if money were no object – and why. let’s fantasize

If you read this post about what we would buy if money were no object then you know this $52,000 Gustav BertelsenIf cabinet made in 1946 is at the top of my list. Y’all, there are only two known to have been made. I’ve never really been a polka dot gal but I do love circles so this speaks to the deepest parts of my design-loving soul. What I decided I am going to do (or try to do) is make my own highly-inspired version since I’m short about $52,000. And when I say “I make” I mean “me and my dad make”. I called him up, sent him a VERY basic drawing, the requested measurements, and we were off.

I would like to mention now that this is very much a process post as this is as far as we’ve gotten. My dad built the frame, leaving me to cut the doors, and finish sanding everything…about two months ago. Between being nervous I would mess it up (wood still isn’t cheap) and laziness, I did not do what he asked. Luckily, I conned him into visiting me two weeks ago where we finally did those things.

This notch is for the power strip to my computer and lamp. That was my dad’s idea which is why we make a great team. I’m more form and he’s more function.

But now let’s talk stains and how I plan to make those perfect circles…

This was the stain I picked that I thought looked closet to the original cabinet…Varathane in Colonial-Maple. I think it’s too orange. Since the original wood was mahogany maybe their Golden Mahogany color will look better?? Any thoughts? I want it to be warm-toned to bring more warmth into the room but this doesn’t feel right yet. Also, I am planning on adding a sheen so that might change the look a little as well. Then we have the circles…

Hahahah. First off, the base stain was mostly dry but not 100%. Second, I haphazardly used a sponge brush to make those “circles”. The original plan, that my dad came up with and got made, was to use a custom vinyl stencil that had circle cutouts. Unfortunately, the circles were way too spaced out and the type of vinyl the company chose was waaaay too sticky. I was afraid it was going to mess up the wood. Dad agreed. Then as we were troubleshooting ideas I had a potentially great one. I could get a custom iron brand made! That way the circles would be perfect, dark, and I could even stain them if need be with a far less chance of any bleeding outside of the circle, right? Etsy has a ton of affordable iron brands so I don’t think it’s going to be too expensive to get made…I hope.

But PLEASE! If you have any ideas, experience, and/or tips for any part of the staining and potential branding process I am all ears! This is my first time doing this and I want it to look good. DIYs are too time and money-consuming for them to come out bad!

The next big decision that I’m figuring out is hardware.

design by disc Interiors | photos by sam frost

Aside from the shape and structure of the cabinet, hardware is where I will likely diverge from the original piece. Originally, I thought I would do a version of the large circle maybe wood, maybe not, but I really love the look of these micro knobs that DISC Interiors made for this incredible nightstand. I can’t get enough of the entire design. Using a knob similar to this could lean into that balance I was talking about earlier since that pattern is so big and bold.

design by hachi collections | photos via 1stdibs

Then there’s this incredible piece by Hachi Collections. I love those medium chunk brass knobs! Plus they add an additional layer of “custom” with how they are inset in the wood. But then…

design by akuko atelier | styled by jennifer kay | photo by yuki sugiura | via domino

…I look at these big wood knobs and think maybe I should just do something like that. I know it will totally work (and are probably cheaper).

left photo: design by brett paulin, via 1stdibs | right photo: via 1stdibs

Then there’s the option to still do a larger circle but mix it up. I couple go for a more modern look with something like the black ones on the left OR try and find a sick two-toned option like the ones on the right.

design by minuit | photo by bcdf studio

I just stuck this photo in here because I love those handles so much and has me thinking outside the box. Not sure what will come of it but it’s fun to think about.

design by atelier steve | photos by bcdf studio

My last hardware idea is no hardware at all! OOF I love these double finger holes by Atelier Steve. So simple, so special, and so affordable.

So as I think about the hardware I need to think about hardware placement too. I thought it would be fun to talk through where I started with the door design, where I ended up (which you already saw earlier), and the hardware placement options I’m considering.

This was my initial plan. Two inset doors that swing out from the center with two knobs. I liked the simplicity of it since the circles were going to be visually very powerful. But in the final hour, as my dad was cutting the doors, I made a different decision…

TADA! Three inset doors. I thought, “let’s take this up a notch!” So I had my dad cut one of the doors in half, horizontally. We even added a shelf (that was his idea, I think) so that there was an actual reason for the two skinny doors. I would have been fine either way but again, some added function never hurts.

But now we have more options for knob placement. Knob size will obviously play a factor, but I think that versions two and three are my favorite but I’m open to all of them.

What is your vote?? I won’t be opening and closing these a ton so don’t worry too much about the placement being near the edge. In the meantime, let me show you some actual hardware options I’m looking at.

1. Round Wooden Coat Hook | 2. Mid Century Ball Knob Brass Hardware | 3. Black Brass Knob | 4. Solid Brass Cabinet Knob | 5. Tall Mushroom Cabinet Knob | 6. Knurled Knob | 7. Teakhook Knob | 8. Teardrop Door Pull | 9. Gateway Ring Pull | 10. Larkin Finger Pull | 11. Solid Oak Drawer Pull | 12. Dish Knob | 13. Circle Drawer Knob | 14. Solid Brass Cabinet Knob | 15. Round Cabinet Knob

I love #2 since it’s real small and works with the micro look but #8 and #14 are great for that too. #1 and #15 would need to be stained and I’m not 100% into them. I’ve loved #6 forever and love that it comes in a matte bronze. That could give it some instant age! What do you all think? Do any of you have cool vintage hardware resources?

So that’s where I’m at in my cabinet bench process and my secret ploy to get all of y’all’s advice! Can’t wait to chat in the comments.

Love you, mean it.

The post Jess’ DIY Bench 2.0 – Her Solution To Her Ugly Electronics (Plus An Ask The Audience) appeared first on Emily Henderson.

The Link Up: The Clothes And Jewelry Em Wore On Good Morning America, The New Skincare Face Mask Caitlin Is Lathering On, And An Affordable Cabinet We Love

It’s our hope that these Sunday Link Up posts are a little reprieve in your weekend. However, with the 6, yes 6 mass shootings that happened in the US this past week, we need to be highly aware that while reprives are important for mental health, we can’t become desensitized. We know explicitly that the Buffalo shooting was a direct result of racism and white supremacy and the Orange county shooting was also a hate crime. One shooting in Texas was at a flea market and reportedly was due to a “fight between two groups of people.” While these issues go far deeper than our government and its laws, remember that midterms are coming up. Using our voices and votes is such an important and actionable way to get people elected that can actually make some tangible changes. It’s easy to feel helpless but it’s harder to lose someone you love. Everytown is a wonderful organization to support the end of gun violence if you are able.

Let’s shift to embrace joy, joy in the form of design by the one and only Justina Blakeney. We think the world collectively rejoiced when we all saw that she and her home were on THE COVER OF ARCHITECTURAL DIGEST. Normally, we refrain from using photos with people in them so we can focus on the design. BUT again, the joy and love emanating from Justina and her family is the perfect entry into what their home is all about. There are two many incredible moments in this home to point out so you’ll just have to see for yourself. GO HERE NOW.

From Emily: Pulling together outfits, where I felt comfortable, professional, and stylish, was much harder than anticipated when I was shopping for going on Good Morning America because WHAT IS HAPPENING IN FASHION? So I finally found this cute APC denim dress that was structured AF – thick, tailored, and going nowhere in a good way, which meant that it was going to be great for TV. But it was a bit utilitarian (which I loved) so for the GMA segment, I bought a victorian collared and sleeved lace shirt to layer underneath (here is a super similar one from the same store). Then I added a pearl necklace with a gold heart locket charm which felt right (and just cool). Those were more splurgy (from Clare V, but not fine jewelry or anything) so I went to Madewell to supplement because one must layer at all times – the thicker one linked here and the skinnier one that looks like ball bearings (can’t find on the site). I got that bauble ring on clearance which I do love (but don’t run it through your fine hair – it will harvest that hair from your scalp) and the chain buckle bracelet from Clare V too. The other one is from Madewell. I then added more stacking rings mostly because they wouldn’t fit on any other of my sausage fingers (runs in the family!).

From Jess: I just bought really cute high-waist wide-leg medium blue denim jeans! The other best part is that they are FRAME jeans but from Nordstrom Rack, so they were $89 (originally $248). They are technically cropped but since I’m 5’4″ they hit me at the ankles which I like. Also FYI they are a little more “high-rise” on me than how they look on the model. Oh, and if you are looking for chic comfort slides, I loved these and almost bought them because they were so comfortable.

Also From Jess: If you are looking for some great new music check out Maye. I love Moody but her songs are great. Enjoy!

Also Also From Jess: I’ll take a 10-piece chicken nugget meal, 3 BBQ sauces, and a chair. Thank you!

From Caitlin: OMG GUYS. I have found a skincare product that made my skin look SO GOOD that a MAN noticed the difference and dropped an unsolicited, “wow, your skin is glowing” after I had used it for the first time!!! It’s the Laniege Cica Sleeping Mask – I picked it up on a whim when I was grabbing yet another jar of their famous Water Sleeping Mask, which I use as a daily moisturizer because the gel texture is incredible – and Y’ALL, THIS STUFF IS MAGIC. My skin is naturally pretty dry (like, flaky in some parts) and kind of red, and this calmed the heck outta everything. It’s pretty thick (I may have over-applied because I looked like Mark Zuckerberg paddle boarding) but it absorbed so quickly and my skin felt unbelievable the next morning – all the places that normally feel a little scaly were totally smooth. I had no redness and some of my wrinkled areas (ya girl has DEEP laugh lines, even at 30) were a little less pronounced. I think this product may be a little TOO much if your skin leans oily (the Water Sleeping Mask may be great for you, though!) but OMG I AM SO EXCITED. It has a near-perfect rating on Sephora’s site and it deserves every freakin’ 5-star review it gets. A little miracle in a jar for all my fellow dry-skinned pals!

From Mallory: I bought this cabinet for my entryway and I LOVE it but it ended up feeling too deep for my space (I thought after taping it out it would fit juuuuusssttt right…sad). Linking it here so someone else can buy it and enjoy it in their home!! It’s so well designed and was pretty easy to set up

Opening Image Credits: Design by Justina Blakeney | Photo by Jenna Peffley | Fashion styling by Bettina Bati | via Architectural Digest

The post The Link Up: The Clothes And Jewelry Em Wore On Good Morning America, The New Skincare Face Mask Caitlin Is Lathering On, And An Affordable Cabinet We Love appeared first on Emily Henderson.

Brian And I Went To A “Happiness Conference” And Here’s What We Learned…

I hadn’t been so excited about something in years. Picture how a massive superhero fan feels going to Comic-Con or a football fan going to the Super Bowl – I get a real dopamine rush from the idea of spending two days at a conference all about philosophy, sociology, psychology, science, and yes, self-improvement. It’s self-indulgent, of course, but I’ll take all the things when it comes to deepening spiritually, becoming a better leader/boss, a healthier lady, a better mom/wife, or even a more grounded public figure (ha). I’m into it all.  Brené Brown, Adam Grant, Dan Harris, Sam Harris, Armchair Expert, Dr. Becky, etc. It’s a hobby that fills me up, especially when I’m at my most drained. So today, if you are ready to choose curiosity over judgment keep reading and I’ll walk you through what exactly a “happiness conference” entails. Here we go… 

When I saw an advertisement for the In Pursuit to Happiness conference, put on by The Atlantic (my favorite magazine that I read cover to cover monthly), I immediately pitched it to Brian as a weekend away, at an awesome hotel, for “work”. He said yes, figuring that if nothing else he’d do research for the novel he’s writing and get likely alone time with me. In the middle of what was an already over-scheduled month what with my book coming out and the farmhouse renovation blowing up, I cleared my calendar so we could leave our kids and head off to Half Moon Bay for the Sunday – Tuesday “weekend.” After years of me talking in Brian’s ear about this happiness science stuff he was actually really interested, which made the whole endeavor so exciting. 

Like anything, there are multiple ways of looking at this “Happiness Conference.” A more pessimistic perspective is to quickly judge everyone who attended – the irony is almost too obvious to say aloud, but I will, just to bring you along the “journey” and get ahead of what you might be thinking. Yes. It was a bunch of wealthy people at The Ritz-Carlton, a cliffside hotel, holding $22 martinis, paying a lot of money to learn how to be happier from other likely wealthy folks with a lot of hyphenates during a time in the world that can often feel anything but happy. Even writing this after the week of insane news feels weird and gross, but multiple things can be true at the same time so I’ll continue. If you were to go to a fitness conference you’d get a lot of fit people learning how to be more fit or teach about fitness, or a gardening conference would teach gardeners new ways to improve their gardens. It’s the nature of a conference – immersing yourself in a singular subject with the goal to come out more informed on it. And it’s a privilege to be at any conference about “happiness” because you get to get away from your life to focus on one thing – either to better your life, business, or family. It’s specific for a reason and they have to be expensive in order to pay the speakers/experts for their time and cover the production of the event. So if you are judging the people and the spirit of it – simply don’t go. It’s likely not for you – (or maybe it is for you:)). Maybe read this article instead. It’s the most recent one I’ve been sharing that might help you understand the intent. If you are turned off by self-improvement culture I get that – but I think that “turn-off” is more about the people, less about the ideas which most have been around for centuries or millennia. I get it all, but with an open mind and engaging with people with whom you connect, I think there is universal value.

A more open perspective (which is the one we took) is to learn more about how to navigate this life with more purpose and meaning, less pathologies, and for some of us, take back info and tools to our communities or our teams. Often new philosophies are resisted at first, but the science behind happiness is so hard to resist or negate – it’s common sense, folded in with data and research but we all know is true. A conference on happiness has the intention of creating more of it, and that is a good thing both personally and as a whole society.

In true Emily fashion, I leaned into the spirit and the intent of the conference, embraced it all, and LOVED IT. The first night was a meet and greet, everyone wearing their finest (do I dress cool? Professional? Serious? What message do I want to send?), trying to impress the unknown. We aren’t big “networkers” but connecting with others in this setting is just fun and part of the whole experience so I forced it and Brian followed. You simply go up to other people in a group and say, “Hi. What brings you to this happiness conference?” With a bit of a wink (and self-congratulatory irony of course) and you meet your conference buddies that become touchpoints for the next 2 days. I was quickly surprised by the crowd. We met a professional dating coach, an estate attorney (a long-time reader! Hi Colleen!), a lot of executive coaches who gave me names of shamans in Oregon (forest bathing!), a podiatrist, and a few VC investors. We even met a group of 70-year-old dads who have been best friends since they were in kindergarten and are just now exploring their inner life because as typical cis-male-dominant-earners they hadn’t given themselves permission to dive in before this. There were business leaders, entrepreneurs, and a lot of people in the second half of their life who have realized that the happiness they were promised through “success” fell short. They read Arthur C. Brooks’s book, from Strength to Strength, and came to meet him. 

Brian’s goal was to come out of it with a good story, some anecdotes for his novel, and of course, have some fun (he’s very open to it and we both love social experiments). My goal was to learn more tools to take back to my life and simply be a better mom, business owner, wife, friend, writer, leader, and citizen. On the happiness scale I’m pretty good (born this way), so I was just hoping that Brian (more of the skeptic) would come up with ways to reframe and we would have days and days of stories to tell, which we do. 

So here are the biggest takeaways:

Typically happiness goes up and down throughout life, with some very common patterns (as you can see in the graph above). Peaking early can be hard and how you respond to that rise, and in my case stagnation, will affect your happiness for the rest of your life. A lot of us, called “strivers” succeed early and while that sounds awesome, the pressure to continue to outdo our past selves in the field that we peaked in is daunting and as our brains age, it’s almost impossible. Many, like Darwin for instance, lived the last 30 years of his life despondent, not able to do the same level of research he accomplished for his fame. He wanted to end his life because he felt like a failure not being able to live up to his former self and the collective hype and fame. Arthur C. Brooks – the social scientist who founded this conference – collected a lot of data from polling people and decades of research to empower people to frame the second half of their life so that they can use their crystalized wisdom to add value to the world, to teach, empower, impart information. Those that do are wildly happier than those who chase their peak. “The key to happiness is not to have what you want, it’s to want what you have” – the Dalai Lama. Just say that over and over – which is not always easy, but you get the general sentiment. Arthur C. Brooks told this story about the Chinese art of sculpture and how they believe that a piece of art doesn’t start from a blank canvas – opposite. It’s created by sculpting a block of jade, shedding what isn’t necessary, peeling back layer after layering, chipping away at the stone to reveal what we really are (and have always been) at the center. Michelangelo said the same thing with his David Sculpture. It’s all inside of us – we just have to shed the layers, do less, have less, and need less in order to find it. He reinforced that America is one of the only countries where it’s societally normal to collect and collect and collect, more and more and more – in Buddhism they try to shed, reduce, and hone so that by the end it’s just the important stuff. We have a lot of re-programming to do. Wait, what is the important stuff? While this is relatively common sense, Arthur C. Brooks has distilled it down to four pillars – faith, family, community, and meaningful work (which he defines can be earned or is service-based). In his research (and yes, there are a lot of graphs) people who are the “happiest” have prioritized those four things. Of course, my natural reaction to that is “well, we live in a capitalist society and the real stressors of life for a lot of the population include needing to be able to feed themselves and yes, need money.” While we all know that wealth doesn’t equal happiness, we can all agree that having enough to be comfortable is a huge part of happiness, especially in a big city (which is one of the reasons we left – in hopes of a less expensive life, we could hustle less and feel more comfortable long term). He goes into this more in his book (local here and kindle here) but all in all it’s really hard to argue with those four pillars. Music. We all know the emotional power of music, but in one seminar there was a scientist, Charles J. Limb, who showed us what it does to our brains that other languages or art forms can’t. It wasn’t just about self-expression, it was more scientific and granular than that. It’s like your brain taps into a collective wave that makes us all feel less alone, more connected. We all know this but being reminded how important it is to create music, not just enjoy it, can rewire your brain and create new pathways that can be totally life-changing. I remembered when I went back to church a few years ago, singing with the 30 strangers in the congregation was at first so uncomfortable but once we hit the chorus I was projecting aloud, I felt a level of euphoria that I hadn’t in a long time – to the point of weeping (a heavy dose of nostalgia was involved). You don’t need to play an instrument, we all need to sing more. It’s like exercise – a natural anti-depressant. Big brands can do cool things. Titos (the vodka company) was the underwriter for the conference which we thought was another layer of irony because there is a severe alcoholism problem in America. Extreme drinking is pretty normalized and it’s certainly not making people happier. But I will say this – when the Chief Joyologist spoke about their business model I choked up – water filled my eyes. They flipped the typical business triangle – putting people and passion at the top and profit at the bottom. Bert Beveridge (you can’t write this stuff, I’m not joking) is apparently a wonderful business leader and person who puts service at the forefront of their company – leading many monthly company-wide, nationwide service projects as well as giving their employees a “joy budget” for them to donate to the charities of their choice every month. Brian and I were both very, very inspired. When businesses flip the script and give a shit I think maybe I do want to grow my business, that there are good models out there that have purpose when other days the social media world makes me wonder what good growing would actually create. Maybe I need to buy a distillery:) The Creator Hour. Tara Nicholle Kirk, founder of SoulTour spoke during one of the break out sessions and I loved her concrete tips. She calls it the “creator’s hour”. Every morning starts with a sitting (meditation), journaling away your “ughs” (I love this), and a few other steps followed by moving your body. I’m very tempted to sign up myself and my team for her $97 21-day program. “Inspire don’t require”. I LOVE it when a very simple flip of a word can help you approach life differently. This is great in work and parenting – don’t “require” them to do something, instead figure out how you can inspire them to do it. Inspire means “fill with spirit” which I hadn’t really thought about before. Now I’m not saying I’m going to try to inspire my kids to unload the dishwasher without complaining, I’m not a fool, but when it comes to projects at work or even larger family projects, how can I create a space and communicate in a way that helps everyone feel inspired to meet the goals rather than have it a requirement? It’s a helpful re-frame.  Social media is now proven to be very negative for our happiness. The data is in folks. It’s no longer correlation/causation. The evidence is that it has made us much less happy. If you don’t believe me please read this article by Jonathan Haidt. This was a big topic at the conference, which I’ve already read a ton about, but the takeaway is to be very, very careful with our kids. Helicopter parenting and over-accommodating is doing a huge disservice to our kid’s future happiness – again, that data is in. Brian went to a session with the author Julie Lythcott-Haims who wrote How to Raise an Adult (local here and kindle here) and he really, really loved her. He wished she had spoken longer because she was so insightful, engaging, and relatable. The thesis is that shielding our kids from the stressors can create anxiety and depression later because their nervous system literally doesn’t know what to do with stress or negativity. The years specifically from 7-12 are meant for them to face challenges in a safe space, prepping them for adulthood and through helicoptering, they aren’t doing that. If you want to know more read this book (local here and kindle here) and this article. But the common-sense practice of this is to let our kids confront and solve every problem on their own. Ask questions, support, guide when asked, encourage positive behavior and choices – that’s it. I felt very validated in my non-supervisory approach (remember this post?). Free reign parenting FTW! What I Would Do Differently For Next Year’s Happiness Conference?

Listen it’s their first year doing this and we both thought it was super well produced, organized, and overall a great experience. I met the COO, CEO, and many of the marketing people at The Atlantic – of which I was fairly star struck – I’m not being hyperbolic when I say I read it cover to cover monthly for years. The COO is a long-time reader (I haven’t felt that good since Melissa McCarthy stopped me on the street to tell me) and she asked me for my honest feedback. I wanted time to think and process. In true Brené Brown fashion, there needs to be a space between “stimuli” and “reaction” – it’s a formula that looks like this: S (    ) R,  – you need the time in the middle to process the best reaction. So after two weeks, here is mine: 

The conference itself had a bit of an identity crisis – which lord knows I can understand as someone who doesn’t know if I’m a person or a brand. I think it didn’t know if it should be self-help or science. I like both, but we were there more for the science/data and learning tools to take back to our family, my company, and you. There were some speakers who gave tools and some hard data, but there were also others that felt full of platitudes and catchy headlines. Which is fine, but it felt like a lot of preaching to the choir – those of us already into this stuff enough to be at this conference likely know the baseline ideas around happiness so I personally wanted more tools to implement, less good retweets, and fewer soundbites. (There were some that gave great tools – Lori Gottlieb, Arthur C. Brooks, Dacher Keltner, Gretchen Sharp – It should be noted many sessions were at the same time so I couldn’t go to all of them). Also shout out to Jeffrey Goldberg (EIC of The Atlantic) for being funny, warm, and asking really pointed direct questions. There needed to be more talk about spirituality and faith. One of the main pillars of happiness, based on Brooks’ research, is “faith” and yet there was only about 5% conversation about it. I think this is because liberals get scared to talk about religion for fear of being seen as conservative or Trumpy. Faith and spirituality don’t have a denomination or a political party. It really just means a transcendent relationship with the world, each other, the universe, a God, the planet, etc. It can be anything, just this connection to something bigger. I can get super woo woo and didn’t necessarily want that for Brian, but even he was very, very interested in that aspect because since I’ve tapped into that world 4 years ago it’s shifted my perspective a lot. I’ve been happier/lighter and he wants to find the same thing. So we were disappointed it wasn’t a larger conversation, especially because I felt that the experts associated with The Atlantic would have done it in a way that felt non-indoctrinating. Arthur C. Brooks is a conservative Catholic which I frankly love – I’m so sick of my bubble and love the more centrists perspectives out there. I wish there were more of that. I love that The Atlantic can frame sensitive topics in a more objective way so I’d love to know how they would approach faith. More give back and service components. When you have so many wealthy people in a room I always feel like it’s a missed opportunity to create a larger conversation around service (there were two sessions on it, to be fair). I also spoke to so many people there who were highly involved in many charities or had quit their jobs to dedicate their lives to adding more value to the world. And like the Goop conference article, I have to remind myself that it’s not someone else’s job to help me be a good person or to mitigate my guilt for being at a conference full of likely privileged people. That’s on you, Emily. But if I were in charge of it next year I would A. Charge more and give a portion of the sales to a vetted charity – for me something children-related because I’m always wanting to go upstream to prevent the problems. And B. Bring heads of non-profits to be able to network with all these wealthier folks who are here to become happier people which is highly linked to service. Actually connecting with organizations that we can help support, consult for, or be on boards for would be amazing. The scientific link between service and happiness is indisputable and something I really want to focus some of my future on – so why not make that a bigger component here? Invite more government officials, superintendents, or principals of schools as guests. So much of the data we know shows us that “achievement testing” is absolutely misguided and pretty damaging. We need to change our educational system, again going more upstream to help the next generation be less obsessed with “more” and achievement, but instead fostering their self-worth through community service, self-reliance, teamwork, hard work, and of course, kindness. A conference has limited capacity, so next time I would love to see more industry leaders in the public sector so that they could bring it back to their team and change/improve their communities. More GREAT speakers with concrete takeaways – less yelling into the echo chamber — I wanted to hear more from Olga Khazan about how she changed her personality in 3 months, and more from Kate Julian about her parenting articles. In fact, more parenting would be AWESOME. Brian requested that, too :). Lisa Osborne Ross spoke about changing her role from CEO to “Chief Empathy Officer” – which sounds great, but I want to know how they structure their managerial system to scale “listening” in a way that is both emotionally supportive and successful for the business. I’m learning every day that parenting and running a business/team are strangely similar – you need to be consistent and kind, set boundaries, be clear with expectations, and then allow autonomy, creativity, and individuality in a safe space for everyone to thrive. But I only have 5 employees. I want more tools if I were to grow my team again to make sure it stays healthy. I love Brené Brown who gives really great tools like the 2-word check-in every day. So if there are leadership seminars I’d love to hear more tools, takeaways, learnings, examples of HR policies, etc. The Recap…

Brian and I were so glad we went – Again, I think the experience as a whole was extremely well-produced and programmed. If you want an abridged version of the conference read this article (it’s excellent). I feel like I’m the last print magazine reader, but for the ones I love I need to hold them in my hands, curl up for hours, and soak it all in. If I can give my quick endorsement for The Atlantic it would be this – this magazine feels more centrist and objective. They call out the liberal left a lot, not editorializing but just stating and analyzing what we all can observe if we open our eyes. Progressivism isn’t always progressive. Shouting into our echo chamber has become deafening and it’s very important to step out of our bubble and communicate.

While a lot of what we learned can be common sense, when it’s framed within science-backed research and data it makes it feel even more empowering. More of an “if you do this, you can feel that” sort of thing and yes, you can argue about privilege which I absolutely agree with you. But privileged or not, reframing your life to focus on the four pillars (family, faith, community, and meaningful work) can help you align your life with your values. I fully recognize the “easy for you to say” retort, I’ve already said it to myself, but it doesn’t change the philosophy of striving towards wanting what we have, instead of having what we want. It’s really just the basics, before life got so messy the last 100 years and we reached for external help to solve internal holes – many people, like my parents, have been living the four pillars their entire lives and they are pretty darn happy. So this may not be anything new to some of you (lucky you:)) but for many of us who don’t have those pillars locked in, seeking achievement, wealth, and “success” might find that it’s making it harder to feel enjoyment, contentment, and fulfillment (where I was 3 years ago). So if you are interested in it trust me that reading this stuff can empower you to make simple (or hard) decisions that might have some positive outcomes leading towards more purpose, meaning, and yes, happiness.

Extra Resources For Those Of You Interested

If you are resistant to self-help and wellness culture, I hear you. I think there is a way to still dabble without going full “Goop” if it doesn’t always sit right with you. I was glad that the conference was only a day and a half of programming because self-improvement/reflection can quickly go into self-indulgence and you can leave feeling gross. So if you are still here and curious below is a list of articles or books that I have found helpful or inspiring (I’m NOT trying to indoctrinate anyone but if you’ve related to me over the years and have felt similar feelings about life then hopefully you’ll trust that I’ll only recommend stuff I have found helpful and actionable):

Brené Brown – A real favorite amongst those of us, especially in the business world. Podcast Dare to Lead and Unlocking Us (She just took a 4-month creative sabbatical btw – Go Brené!).
Dan Harris – 10% Happier (He’s the one that had a panic attack/nervous breakdown on live TV as a news anchor and then totally changed his life).
Arthur C. Brooks – Harvard social scientist, podcaster, and author who wrote From Strength to Strength (again local here and kindle here) and is especially great for people in the second half of their life.
Great Good Science Center – “Science-Based Insight for a Meaningful Life”. We loved them at the conference but haven’t listened to the podcast yet.
Gretchen Rubin – I found her so relatable, lovely, and informative.

The post Brian And I Went To A “Happiness Conference” And Here’s What We Learned… appeared first on Emily Henderson.

Our Top 10 Renovation AND Decoration Mistakes To Avoid

This is a fun piece I wrote for Cup of Jo to promote my book before it came out. Naturally (and to no one’s surprise), I overwrote it. Ha. So this is the extended version with a bunch of beautiful photos from the book. Enjoy!

After years of documenting my design projects on the internet for the world to watch, criticize, and hopefully enjoy, in 2018 I found myself once again crying in the shower (as working moms do), extremely frustrated with the home renovation/remodeling process. I wished so badly that there was a book full of beautiful rooms and real life anecdotes to help educate and support me through this inevitably very stressful process. I was so sick of feeling dumb, being mansplained by my contractor, and doubting my every decision. I had so much of the information and had been writing about it for years on the blog, but I wanted it all (plus more) to be in ONE BOOK. I pitched the book the next day and four short (!!) years later it’s here now, in the world. While the world changed dramatically since that tearful shower day (2020 was like, “HA I’ll give you something to cry about”) the information in this book has become even more and more relevant as so many people, trapped indoors, wanted to make their homes a little bit better. The New Design Rules, is a guidebook through the renovation and decoration process, from my perspective, with my personal mistakes and anecdotes and filled with 330 pages of gorgeous photos from 28 different creative homes in every style. It’s full of everything from “kitchen design rules”, “bathroom makes to avoid”, “how high should you really hang art” to “how do you make a builder grade home have charm?” My goal was to help people learn the rules of design so they can creatively break them, thus making a choice, not a mistake. So that’s my pitch for the book and it’s not just for those of us privileged enough to be able to remodel – it’s for those who love to decorate, style, or DIY (or just stare at pretty photos like what you’ll see in this post). I hope you enjoy and more importantly learn something to help you in your next design project and shed less shower tears

Avoid “Builder Grade” Everything (Here’s How To Add Some Charm)design by corre marine | styled by velinda hellen | photo by sara ligorria-tramp

You are NOT alone if you live in a builder-grade house. Have hope that there are ways to add the charm that might be missing. This kitchen by Corre Marie (which I don’t think was builder-grade), shows great examples of what you could to do add charm with simple materials and some high-impact choices. The lines of it are simple – U-shaped shaker cabinetry with butcher block top, painted in a bold color that packs a huge punch (and is totally doable to do in an affordable way). The subway tile is affordable and classic but adds so much old-world character. The shelf brackets, pendants, and rug are design elements that are easy ways to swap out for more one-of-a-kind antique pieces like these. Heck, how she hung a painting and leaned that mirror on the tile creates so much interest. And interest = charm, even if it is added after the house is built.

Avoid The “Too Small Rug”design by dee murphy | styled by velinda hellen | photo by sara ligorria-tramp

The “too small rug” is such a common mistake to make – you aren’t alone. But it’s very noticeable and can throw off the whole room. In this living room, Dee Murphy not only followed the rules (by having at least the front two legs of all the furniture on the rug) but she layered the vintage rug OVER a simpler sisal rug to ground the conversation area even more. Good move. We wrote more about living room rules here and I also did a super dated but still fun video about rug size here.

Don’t Chase Every Trend When It Comes To Permanent Finishesdesign by ben medansky | styled by velinda hellen and erik kenneth staalberg | photo by sara ligorria-tramp

You can absolutely still follow new stylish design ideas and bring them into your home, but it’s safest to do what Ben Mendansky did with the light fixtures here. Y’all, he ombre’d the yellow from light to dark. Yes, take risks! Just be really, really careful leaning hard into trends in your permanent finishes like tile, flooring, windows, or architectural details. If you feel nervous as I often do, then think about taking your risks in lighting, furniture, and decor (elements that don’t require demo and hiring out to change).

Don’t Have Too Much Furniture, Even If You Have The Spacedesign by rosa beltran | styled by velinda hellen | photo by sara ligorria-tramp

It’s easy to clutter up a space (I used to have hoarding tendencies so I get it) but remember that there is something really lovely about negative space and having less. YES, you want enough furniture for a space to function and to seat everyone properly, but a room like Rosa Beltran‘s gorgeous den has enough with the sofa – and having less really showed off the other elements she DID have – i.e. that incredible floral pattern and that herringbone brick floor.

Don’t Strip Out Character In Vintage Homesdesign by victoria sass of prospect refuge studio | styled by velinda hellen and erik kenneth staalberg | photo by sara ligorria-tramp

For those of us lucky enough to live in older, vintage homes, you might be tempted to start fresh if you are remodeling (and you might not have the gorgeous original paneling that Victoria Sass did – lucky lady). Maybe some elements feel really basic (like a white brick fireplace) or a little awkward (like unnecessary broom closets or niches). But think HARD about removing them. Like people, sometimes those awkward moments, age spots, and quirks are what you’ll come to love about your home because they are unique to YOU. And demo-ing something old and high quality just for the sake of “new” and “better” is hard on the planet, so really think about it before you do

Know Your Fixtures Before You Chose The Height Placementdesign by christa martin | styled by velinda hellen and erik kenneth staalberg | photo by sara ligorria-tramp

Hopefully, you only have to learn this once (or if you read the book – avoid this and other mistakes altogether). If you are doing a larger remodel you might be redoing the electrical and plumbing, and the new plan for what is “inside the walls” happens early on in the process. You might think “two sconces there” and “a wall mount faucet here” is good enough, but the specifics of the fixture often will change the height and location. For instance, if Christa Martin had not wanted a vessel sink in the bathroom above, then her wall mount faucets would have been way too high for an under-mount sink, or if she had wanted sconces where the stems curved up 10 inches then that junction box would have had to move down (or the sconce changed). Even if you don’t have the exact specs, just know the style of the fixture to get as close as possible to avoid breaking through fresh drywall.

Don’t Hang Curtains Too High Off The Floordesign by rosa beltran | styled by velinda hellen | photo by sara ligorria-tramp

High water curtains can make a room look a little silly, but most big box stores only stock certain length readymade curtains (84″ is almost ALWAYS too short, FYI). Always size up (90-96″ usually works for 8-9′ ceilings) so it hangs long enough to touch or almost touch the floor. You can hang the rod near the ceiling (or halfway between window and ceiling like in this case, not at the top of the window), but always try to get as close to the floor as you can. We have a fun graph and more photos in this post. Also, please note THERE IS A BUNNY ON THE BED!!!!!

Don’t Demo Your Room/Home Without A Plandesign by christa martin | styled by velinda hellen and erik kenneth staalberg | photo by sara ligorria-tramp

This is just a general warning that the remodeling process has a lot of moving parts and is full of delays that are out of your control. If you don’t have a team in place, a fairly solid plan, permits, and even materials ordered before you demo you might end up living in construction for much, much longer. Sometimes your contractor will have to do exploratory work to figure out what is load-bearing, etc, but before you make your home or room totally unlivable, have your players in place and a general plan. I’m in the middle of a renovation right now and trust me, your patience will be tried over and over and over At the end of it all, you might have a kitchen like this one by Christa Martin, but try to do as much prep work at the beginning as possible.

Vary The Art Configuration On Each Wallart direction by emily henderson | design and styling assistance by emily bowser and julie rose | photo by sara ligorria-tramp

This is a great styling tip/formula that I’ve used in almost every room (including this one that my EHD team did in Atlanta). What you want to avoid is every wall having one similar piece of art, hung at the same height. Instead think about doing what we did here – mixing a gallery wall, mirror, shelves, leaning art, diptychs, or one large-scale piece of art. Even if you like a more minimal simple design (which I do) you want to vary the mediums or scale of the art so it doesn’t feel redundant and to give each piece its own power and moment.

Don’t Overlook What You May Already Havedesign by sara ruffin costello | styled by velinda hellen and erik kenneth staalberg | photo by sara ligorria-tramp

I think in this world of everything at our fingertips (hello, internet shopping) it’s tempting to get rid of something old and replace it with the newer, younger (and likely cheaper) version. But before you do, look at your previously loved pieces with new eyes. If you love the shape and style but not the color or fabric you could do what Sara Ruffin Costello did and reupholster a vintage wingback in that insane statement patterned fabric. If the above room tempts you a bit, know that the rest of her incredible home in New Orleans is peppered through the book and knocks me down every time I see her creativity. That green paint, the floor tile, the door! She is incredible.

Listen, you will make mistakes in the renovation or decoration process, we all do. It’s part of the creative process. But, I hope this book can help you avoid as many as possible and unleash your creativity. And if you love the type of design info in this post and if the photos of these homes sparked joy in your design gut, then I hope you’ll like the book because It’s full of 330 pages of it

Opening Image Credits: Design by Corbett Tuck | Styled by Velinda Hellen, Erik Kenneth Staalberg, Emily Edith Bowser, and Julie Rose | Photo by Sara Ligorria-Tramp

The post Our Top 10 Renovation AND Decoration Mistakes To Avoid appeared first on Emily Henderson.

Brick Flooring 101: How To Lay It And Take Care Of It From Someone Who Has Done It Herself

Brick floors have always been my jam. I used to work for a designer in Los Angeles who had a ton of clients with Spanish cottage-style homes in Montecito. We practically drove up there twice a week for onsites, and after checking in on these projects, we’d have lunch at the cutest little spots in town on our way back to Los Angeles. I loved these onsites most. Even though these homes were large in size, I always loved how the architectural details made them feel so quaint. One of those details being their brick floors. To be honest, back then, I was always given the task of choosing the pattern in which the brick would be laid and leaned more into the aesthetics side of the flooring. It wasn’t until my second design position at an architectural firm in Santa Monica, where I would truly learn the importance of specifying materials for their durability and sustainability. I would have never guessed it would take seven years until I’d fully understand the install side of brick flooring and the maintenance that comes with it (experiencing and having the flooring in my own home). 

We know that brick is typically used to build walls, and for outside areas like gardens, driveways, roads, and walkways, but in recent years I’ve seen brick floors reemerge in the interiors of homes. This has been made possible by companies creating brick materials specifically to be installed inside of homes. These come in the form of brick sheets that are designed to make the installation of interior brick floors as easy as it can possibly be. They even come in the form of a herringbone pattern, so that the labor to install them doesn’t have to be so intense/expensive. 

All that to say, here I am, three months later, after having our kitchen remodeled and I can finally give you an update on how our brick floors have been holding up, but first, let’s talk install. 

INSTALLATION

Needed Brick Flooring Materials: Cement board (sometimes), Mortar, Grout, and Tile/Stone Sealer 

A client of mine was kind enough to give me the leftover brick from a mudroom I worked on a while ago, and this was a big reason as to why I decided on the brick flooring for my kitchen. I had a large amount of the brick tiles already and knew I’d be saving a lot on flooring by purchasing the remaining amount (on top of applying my trade discount). Another big reason I chose to go with the brick was because of all of the water damage we found in the previous flooring. There was water underneath the wood laminate and it was a tad bit moldy. After removing the laminate, we realized there was tile underneath it and still had some small puddles of water sitting on top of it (in between the laminate and tile). Then when pulling up the tiled flooring, we found concrete. 

HOT TIP: I’ve done my share of research on brick flooring and found that cement board is for waterproofing over wood. Since concrete was already on the subfloor in my home, waterproofing was not needed here – we were able to do without the cement board. 

Let’s talk grout! I think the key is to have a brick mason and a tile installer when installing brick floors. My contractors had both come in to do our kitchen floor. Both presented me with a few application options as to how I’d like the floors grouted. The application I loved most was that of a German Schmear. A German Schmear is when a mixture of wet mortar is troweled or painted onto the surface of the brick. Afterward, before the mortar is completely dry, some of it is wiped off to expose parts of the brick. Think of it like spreading peanut butter onto a piece of toast, then realizing you’ve added a bit too much, and wiping some off…just enough until it is to your liking. Maybe that’s a bad analogy, but it makes sense at this moment (as I’m eating a piece of peanut butter toast). Moving on, I chose this grout application for a few different reasons; one being that during the transport of the brick tiles, a few arrived with some cracks in them (thanks to my hubby haha). 

I didn’t want to throw away the cracked pieces and figured filling them with grout would do the trick. Plus, I don’t mind the character the cracks bring. Secondly, I chose this application because I didn’t want dirt and food to collect in between the grout. The third reason I chose this application, is because I wanted the floors to feel more leveled and smooth when people walked on them, and lastly, I wanted the floors to look like they had been there for ages. I love it when architectural details have a bit of rustic character. As for the actual grout, I decided to go with this Ultracolor Plus FA #93 Warm Gray Grout. 

Congruent with the grout, I needed to decide how I wanted the brick tiles to lay. I played around with so many combinations but ultimately decided I wanted a border around the entire floor and the herringbone-patterned tile to fill it in. I was able to use the OldMill Castle Gate Herringbone Thin Brick Panels for the inside floor design and the Castle Gate Thin Brick Panels for the outside border design. The last decision I had to make was regarding the tile sealer. I wanted to make sure this brick was sealed and prepared for all of the spills I knew my one-year-old (and hubby) would be presenting it with. I ended up having it sealed with two coatings. It really only needed one, but there will be a renter here soon, as we are moving back to Los Angeles this year. I really wanted to make sure I did my due diligence with sealing off these brick pores. That leads me to my next topic, durability. 

DURABILITY 

Fun Fact: Fired clay bricks are one of the most durable and strongest construction materials known to man, with some examples dating all the way back to 5000 BC. How intriguing is that?! This is definitely a floor that can stand the test of time. Such a durable material, along with the grout chosen, the application, and the layers of sealer, all make for a great pairing.

We’ve already spilled wine and black paint on the floor and wiped it up like magic (only using soap and water). I should also mention the first dishwasher we received was drug throughout the kitchen when it arrived (wasn’t happy about it) – let’s just say the floors won and the dishwasher lost. Fire clay bricks can also withstand extreme heat and is more resistant to damage from fire than other types of flooring. This was a huge plus in our case, as the previous floors suffered from burn marks – not quite sure what the previous owner was up to in the kitchen. 

SUSTAINABILITY 

I’m doing my best moving forward to consider each material’s sustainability. The more I become educated about our environment, the more I want to make sure I do my part. In the past, I’ve made plenty of design decisions that resulted in meeting my own needs, yet compromising the ability of future generations to meet their needs. When I was going to school for interior and architectural design, I learned about LEED and how I could responsibly design. I still would like to be LEED-certified at some point, but in the meantime, I’m trying to make better decisions when it comes to design projects and selecting materials. I really do want my baby boy and all of the other people inheriting our world after me to inherit something good. That said, clay and shale are naturally occurring materials that are available abundantly. Though it takes much energy to fire brick, their extreme durability and longevity means that no extra energy is required to replace them in the long run. Bricks are also recyclable. 

MAINTENANCE 

How I maintain my brick floor has been the talk of the town! Well, via my social media it has lol. I’ve been sharing tidbits of me doing so, but now I’ll get to the nitty-gritty with how I keep them up. To be honest, after hearing lots of folks’ experiences with their brick floors, I was a little anxious of what was to come with mine, but after three months, I truly do not have any woes or regrets. It’s been much easier than I thought it would be and I’d credit this to how it was installed and what materials I chose during that process. In addition, here’s how I keep a clean brick floor: 

Vacuum Regularly 

I use a robot vacuum every morning (you heard me right). Every morning, I put up the baby gate, and I let the vacuum do its thing. It’s easy to capture crumbs because there are no cracks for them to get into (this was in large part due to the application process and the grout I chose). The grout is wonderful because it reduces surface absorption to help repel water, dirt, and grime before penetrating grout joints. To reiterate, the grout is basically the same level as the brick and all of the cracks in the brick have been filled with grout as well (German Schmear) therefore, crumbs and dirt do not accumulate. This makes for a smoother surface as well, while still keeping a bit of its texture.

Mop Weekly 

My husband and I make sure to mop our kitchen floor every Sunday morning. This means I mop it once every two weeks and he mops it once every two weeks. It doesn’t feel like a lot of work to us. We just put on a good podcast, pull out a mop and a natural mix, then get to work. 

HOT TIP: Here are a few natural cleaning solutions I found via The Spruce: 1 part vinegar mixed with 10 to 15 parts of water, or 2 tablespoons Borax mixed with 1 gallon of water, or 1 to 2 tablespoons baking soda mixed with 1 gallon of water. Soap and water are a hit too!

I’ve experimented with all the above and I like using the soap and water mix the most… just happens to be my preference. My husband likes using the vinegar mix. 

Clean Spills Immediately With A Cloth 

This one just requires me quickly grabbing a cloth and using soap and water to clean the spot that has been spilled on. Most of the daily spills are coffee, oat milk, and water. 

We Do Not Wear Shoes In The House (Unless They Are Brand New Or House Slippers)

I have a little one who likes to eat off of the floors and basically just lay his face on the floor whenever he feels like it. I’ve also seen way too many documentaries about all of the germs that live on the bottom of our shoes. That said, in my home, we don’t wear our outside shoes inside. This also contributes to why our floors do not get very dirty.  

 Now let’s get to the thing everyone has been waiting for – are the floors even comfy? 

COMFORT

We really got a good level on our brick, and the grout being almost as level as the actual brick tile makes the floor feel much smoother. We get just enough texture that per my momma, “it feels like a bit of a massage when walking on the floor.” It really meant a lot for my mom to have a positive experience with walking on the floor, as she has feet and knee issues. Trust, my mom is a straight-shooter, and would gladly let me know if she found the floors uncomfortable. She mentioned that she’d take her slippers off each time before entering the kitchen, looking forward to walking on it.

My father also enjoyed walking on the floor, and with a recent hip surgery. There’s also the opinions of those outside of my family, all sorts of contractors (plumbers, wall-patchers, electricians, HVAC servicers, etc.) who have no skin in the game, yet all brought to my attention how surprised they were at the comfort of walking on the floor (I don’t allow shoes in our house, so they were able to feel the floors this way). In addition, in terms of comfort, brick is inherently warmer than other tiles with retaining heat properties. My husband, one-year-old, and I also love walking on the floor. I guess you can officially deem us “brick people”. 

At the end of the day, it’s all about how dedicated you are to the material. Will you spend the time putting together the perfect combination of materials and recipe for install? Are you okay with vacuuming your kitchen floor every day, deep cleaning once a week, and refraining from wearing your outside shoes inside? Would you want to walk on textured floors every day? How do you feel about adding texture and warmth to make your space feel more quaint and cozy – which can also take on a sleek modern look when combined with the right materials. Ask yourself these questions, and many more before you decide on a brick floor. In my experience, hearing from those who’ve opted for brick flooring in their home, they either hate it or love it. I’m a lover of brick. It brings an interesting, rustic aspect to any genre of design, it’s quite unique and I especially love it in a kitchen. I’ll more than likely be using it again in our next home.

*Design and Photo by Ajai Guyot

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