Page Turner's Blog, page 68

I Had to Learn Not to Take Responsibility for Other People’s Bad Moods

Once upon a time, I blamed myself for your every bad mood.

Whether you said so or not, every time you were sour, salty, tired, or crabby, I took it as a sign that I had done something wrong.

That I had failed you somehow.

Which is funny now to think about it,  » Read more

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Negativity Is the Absolute Worst, Deadliest Creativity Killer

“I have to write a piece for Monday, but I’m having the hardest time coming up with something,” I say.

“Who says you have to write anything?” he asks.

“I do. I have a deadline,” I reply.

I explain to him that I have lots of ideas, just none of them seem like they’ll work.  » Read more

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The Better Looking You Are, the More Likely You Are to Think That Life Is Fair

In a previous installment of this series, we talked about a psychological consistency theory known as Belief in a Just World. Here’s a good explanation of the phenomenon by prominent researcher, Carol Tavris:

“Consistency theories all assume that human beings have a fundamental need to find meaning and order in life’s experiences.  » Read more

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If You Skip Breakfast, You’re More Likely to Have a Mood Disorder

The subtitle of this article should be “A Post in which I Am Relentlessly Attacked by Science.”

Because I’ve been on a roll lately with the studies. I keep finding ones that have results that make me go “Oh, C’MON.”

If I were a different kind of person, I’d probably mutter “hogwash”  » Read more

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Why Non-Toxic Monogamy Is a Beautiful Thing & Why Yes = No, No = Yes

Even though I run a site called Poly.Land, sometimes people are surprised to find out that these days I don’t consider myself to be primarily polyamorous per se — but ambiamorous.

I’ve written about ambiamory many times on this site, for example:

To Make Mono/Poly Easier, View Monogamy and Polyamory as a Spectrum,  » Read more

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A Bad Partner Fit Can Make You Feel Like You’re Worthless

My ex-partner liked to say that I was needy, clingy, and dependent.

When I started dating someone new, they told me that I was incredibly autonomous, self-reliant, and independent. That they were used to their partners leaning on them a helluva lot more than what I asked. That they were used to relationships being one-sided,  » Read more

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“I Just Want to Talk About It to Prove to Myself I Can”

I’ve poured my heart out again. One of those ridiculous long-winded emotional spiels. The kind that leave me exhausted and worried after the fact.

Because it feels cathartic to get it all out, but the last thing I want to do is alienate the person I’m talking to. Overwhelm them. Cause some sort of secondary problem that I’m not in any shape to clean up.  » Read more

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I Always Think Introverts Hate Me When They Don’t

While I’ve had a couple of close friends who were extroverted (including my high school best friend), the vast majority of my close friends have been introverts.

That was how I got my social start back in elementary school. Shy kids flocked to me. I was often the group spokesperson, being brave on my friends’  » Read more

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I Don’t Love Myself, But I AM Compassionate Towards Myself

“No matter what, you gotta find a way to love yourself,” she says. “Because self-love’s where it’s at. That’s where the real good stuff is.”

And yet every time I talk to her, she confesses that she’s unhappy with other people, in spite of nailing the self-love stuff. “I know I’m the shit,”  » Read more

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Women Are Perceived as Less Human When Wearing Heavy Makeup

Sometimes I run across a study that gives me a big old “oof” when I read it. Because I have selfish reasons for not wanting it to be true.

Today’s article falls into that category.

I have an interesting relationship with makeup. I didn’t wear it at all until I was 30 years old.  » Read more

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