Page Turner's Blog, page 64

Less Supportive, Less Responsive People Have Partners with Lower Self-Esteem

These days I live with a romantic partner who makes me very happy. Before I met them, I didn’t know this was actually possible. I’d had long-term relationships before, but I’d never been with someone who was so supportive. And frankly, even as responsive in conversation, if I really think about it (stumbling on today’s study prompted me to).  » Read more

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Can People Who Want to Change Their Attachment Style Do So?

I’ve written quite a few times on this website about attachment styles. As I’ve written in those previous posts, perhaps the biggest lesson of all in child development is that the first year of so of our life is a radically important time for us emotionally. While we continue to learn about trust and social relationships over the course of our life (and experience another notable period of turbulence at puberty),  » Read more

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Writing Is As Much About Listening As It Is About Saying Things

Writing is a form of communication, that’s for damn sure.

And it’s when you forget that it’s communication that your writing suffers.

But a lot of people think writing is communication that’s simply about sending messages. I mean, it totally is. Unless it’s private like a diary, when you write,  » Read more

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It’s Easier to Be Liked Than Understood, But I’d Rather Be Understood

“If you want people to like you,” my mother said. “Be quiet and smile.”

“People love a mystery,” she advised. “And when they don’t know who you are, they fill in the gaps with good stuff.”

That was her advice to me. And for her, it certainly worked. She was a cheerleader in high school.  » Read more

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We Don’t Know When It Ends, Let Alone How

I think everyone’s been asked one of the following hypotheticals — or something else like them:

What would do if it were the last day on Earth?

If you only had an hour left before the world ended, what would you do?

The trouble with all of those hypotheticals is that they require for us to definitively know the world is ending.  » Read more

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What Are We Gonna Do Without Each Other?

“This is a weird and difficult time to be polyamorous,” he says.

And I know what he means. I’m not sure what to do with it all. With any of it.

It’s tempting at times like these to come up with a quick answer that sounds good. To make up flowcharts or guides that address the problems we want to have rather than the ones we actually have.  » Read more

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Loving Without Worrying About Whether You’re Loved in Return

It doesn’t happen very often, but every once in a great while, I fall so deeply in love with someone or something that I don’t care if it loves me back.

It happened with you, you know. I was convinced that you were too good for me. That I didn’t deserve someone like you.  » Read more

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Gluten Avoidance Doesn’t Seem to Be Overly Political

“Gluten-free? Y’all have a gluten-free option?” His voice carries. And so does his indignation. “I tell you what… it’s those liberals with their namby-pamby gluten shit that are ruining the country.”

I frown. Okay Kyle, I think. Because I bet his name is Kyle. Or Lyle. He looks like a Kyle or a Lyle.  » Read more

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What Sorts of Things Do People Regret Most?

Ahh… regret.

Some people claim they don’t have time for it. “No regrets,” they’ll proclaim proudly.

And yet, even some of these folks, when you get them in a quiet or vulnerable state, they’ll freely admit that there are some things they wished they would have done differently.

Even if they say it quickly and add on something like,  » Read more

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Not Every Message Is Meant for You… and That’s Okay

Once upon a time, I thought the world revolved around me.

What a thing to say, right? Such arrogance.

A lot of times when people say that someone thinks the world revolves around them, they mean that the person expects special favors or extra good treatment from the universe.

I’ve never really experienced that kind of feeling when it came to the world revolving around me.  » Read more

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