Page Turner's Blog, page 151

PQ 12.7 — Am I prepared to bring someone I care about (or will come to care about) into a situation where I must dump them at someone else’s will?

PQ 12.7 — Am I prepared to bring someone I care about (or will come to care about) into a situation where I must dump them at someone else’s will?

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There was a time in my life when I desperately wanted a cat, but my lease said “no pets.” So even though I really wanted to do it,  » Read more

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PQ 12.6 — Do I use the word veto to describe something other than an ability to unilaterally end a partner’s relationship — for example, when I give input to my partners about how I feel about their other relationships? If so, why? Is there something about

PQ 12.6 — Do I use the word veto to describe something other than an ability to unilaterally end a partner’s relationship — for example, when I give input to my partners about how I feel about their other relationships? If so, why? Is there something about the word that reassures me in a way that negotiation and input do not?  » Read more

The post PQ 12.6 — Do I use the word veto to describe something other than an ability to unilaterally end a partner’s relationship — for example, when I give input to my partners about how I feel about their other relationships? If so, why? Is there something about the word that reassures me in a way that negotiation and input do not? appeared first on Poly.Land.

The Shrew-Whoredog Dichotomy: Expected to Control and Motivate One’s Partner

Reading your experiences and understanding I’m not a shrew for wanting communication and some details beforehand and he’s not a whoredog for wanting to play with every new woman he meets has seriously helped us both.

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I got this letter a while ago, and it remains one of my favorites.  » Read more

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What Is Attention and How Do We Pay It?

The most precious gift we can offer anyone is our attention. When mindfulness embraces those we love, they will bloom like flowers.

-Thich Nhat Hanh

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So, while driving in the car with the person sitting right next to us, we think about other things. We aren’t interested in him anymore.  » Read more

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No Monsters, No Saints: Abusers Can Be Kind, the Abused Can Be Abusive

I spent a couple of years seriously studying medical terminology, preparing to work as a medical transcriptionist. Anatomy & Physiology. Pharmacology. A multi-semester course on Disease Processes.

I noticed quickly that some of the students were troubled about what we were learning about the myriad ways that the human body can break down.  » Read more

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Ask Page: I Think I Want to Break Up with Him, But I Don’t Want to Lose the Friendship

Hi Page,

I read your blog and your book, and I’m hoping you can help me.

I’ve been polyamorous for 2 years. I have a husband. We were married for about 3 years before we opened up. Like you, we were introduced to polyamory because we found out that our friends were polyamorous.  » Read more

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The Downside of Being Agnostic to Experiences

“If there’s one thing life has taught me,” he says, “is that we should be agnostic to experiences.”

We’re sitting on his couch drinking a couple of IPAs. I’m not much of a beer person, but he is. Drinking someone’s favorite beer with them is like going on a journey. I’ve packed my bags and hopped aboard.  » Read more

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PQ 12.5 — Do I trust my partner to make good decisions about whom she starts relationships with? Why or why not? What might the consequences be if she makes a poor decision, and how might I deal with those consequences?

PQ 12.5 — Do I trust my partner to make good decisions about whom she starts relationships with? Why or why not? What might the consequences be if she makes a poor decision, and how might I deal with those consequences?

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Ooooo boy, this question.

The answer these days regarding my anchor partner Skyspook,  » Read more

The post PQ 12.5 — Do I trust my partner to make good decisions about whom she starts relationships with? Why or why not? What might the consequences be if she makes a poor decision, and how might I deal with those consequences? appeared first on Poly.Land.

PQ 12.4 — Do I trust my partner to consider my needs and well-being in his decisions about whether to stay in a relationship that is hurting me? Why or why not? If not, what can I do to improve that trust?

PQ 12.4 — Do I trust my partner to consider my needs and well-being in his decisions about whether to stay in a relationship that is hurting me? Why or why not? If not, what can I do to improve that trust?

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“Page,” he says. “I hate to ask this from you.  » Read more

The post PQ 12.4 — Do I trust my partner to consider my needs and well-being in his decisions about whether to stay in a relationship that is hurting me? Why or why not? If not, what can I do to improve that trust? appeared first on Poly.Land.

Proxic: Toxic by Proxy

When Sweetness Is the Whole Problem

“I feel bad about being so upset with her,” she says. “She hasn’t really done anything wrong herself.”

I nod. “I was really surprised to hear you were having trouble with her. She’s so sweet. Not the sort of person I would ever imagine getting under your skin.”  » Read more

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