Page Turner's Blog, page 155

Bisexuality, Islands of Desire, and Invisible Polyamory

Invisible Polyamory

Skyspook and I have been charting my polyamorous web chart for the second book (coming soon). A map of my current relationship system, with all of my partners’ partners and so on. Taken as a whole, it looks hopelessly complicated.

But it never feels that way. These days it’s a pretty stable system.  » Read more

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Who Shouldn’t Be Polyamorous?

Today’s article is a guest blog post by Matthew Shadrake.

Matt is a polyamorous switch and a big ole softie. He has previously contributed 3 posts to Poly.Land:

Twin Demons: How I Learned About Toxic Masculinity and Toxic Monogamy
The Difference Between Having Preferences and Being a Prejudiced Asshole in Online Dating
Firing a Gun Into a Dark Room: Strip Clubs,

  » Read more

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PQ 11.3 — Am I open to secondary relationships someday becoming primary relationships, given enough time and investment?

PQ 11.3 — Am I open to secondary relationships someday becoming primary relationships, given enough time and investment?

*

I remember the first time I planted flowers.

My first grade teacher sent us all home with seed packets. A wildflower variety. I was so excited. I walked to the edge of our property to a bare spot.  » Read more

The post PQ 11.3 — Am I open to secondary relationships someday becoming primary relationships, given enough time and investment? appeared first on Poly.Land.

PQ 11.2 — Are there specific assets, commitments or people (such as children) I am seeking to protect with a hierarchy? Can I imagine other avenues for achieving that protection?

PQ 11.2 — Are there specific assets, commitments or people (such as children) I am seeking to protect with a hierarchy? Can I imagine other avenues for achieving that protection?

*

There are no rules of architecture for a castle in the clouds.

-Gilbert K. Chesteron

Minoring in Anxiety

“I’m happy for her,  » Read more

The post PQ 11.2 — Are there specific assets, commitments or people (such as children) I am seeking to protect with a hierarchy? Can I imagine other avenues for achieving that protection? appeared first on Poly.Land.

It’s Hard to Be Friends with Boys Who Want to Be More

Harry: You realize, of course, that we can never be friends.

Sally: Why not?

Harry: What I’m saying is — and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form — is that men and women can’t be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.

Sally: That’s not true.  » Read more

The post It’s Hard to Be Friends with Boys Who Want to Be More appeared first on Poly.Land.

Kindness Misers: “I’m Always Doing Everything for Everyone Else”

“I’m always doing everything for everyone else,” she says. “And where does it get me?”

I’m taken aback. I’m not sure where this is coming from. She’s got good qualities, but she’s far from anybody’s whipping boy. If anything, she’s more selfish than most.

“To hell with what they think,” she says,  » Read more

The post Kindness Misers: “I’m Always Doing Everything for Everyone Else” appeared first on Poly.Land.

Cyrano de Metamour: When Kind Gestures Are a Group Effort

“How obvious it is now–the gift you gave him. All those letters, they were you… All those beautiful powerful words, they were you!.. The voice from the shadows, that was you…”

-Edmond Rostand, Cyrano de Bergerac

*

“So I showed up to my girlfriend’s workplace with a gift basket of stuff she’s crazy about,”  » Read more

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People Are Microcultures: The Ideal Relationship Is Relative

I’ve been waiting for months, waiting for years, waiting for you to change.

Aw, but there ain’t much that’s dumber, there ain’t much that’s dumber

than pinning your hopes on a change in another.

And I, yeah I still need you, but what good’s that gonna do?

Needing is one thing,  » Read more

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The Hardest Part of Loving an Introvert

“Love is essential, gregariousness is optional.”

–Susan Cain

*

“Whacha thinking?” I ask him.

“Nothing much. Just chilling,” he says.

And yet I know there’s more to it. It’s just that thoughts don’t translate into words as well as he’d like. It’s not easy for him to bring them up to the surface,  » Read more

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PQ 11.1 — The Toothbrush, Making Room for New Things

PQ 11.1 — How do I view potential partners, both for myself and for my existing partners? Do I see them as potential problems to be managed? Or do I see them as potential sources of joy to enrich my partner’s life? How does my approach to hierarchy reflect that view?

*

It all started with a toothbrush.  » Read more

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