Page Turner's Blog, page 153

How to Hear the Secret “For Me” that Other People Miss

“You should hear what he says about you when you’re not around,” she says.

“Oh?” I say. She has my attention.

“He says your writing is too personal, that you open up and share too much,” she says.

I’m stunned by this news. To my face he’s never been anything other than complimentary.  » Read more

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PQ 12.1 — Under what circumstances do I feel it’s appropriate for me to use veto?

PQ 12.1 — Under what circumstances do I feel it’s appropriate for me to use veto?

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Welcome to Chapter 12!

I futz about on Quora from time to time. Not as busy or as active as some, for sure, but occasionally I get on there and answer questions.  » Read more

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PQ 11.8 — Will it be possible for the secondary nature of my relationship to evolve into primary, if my partner and I desire that? If not, how will I feel about my relationship remaining secondary long into the future — say, ten or fifteen years?

PQ 11.8 — Will it be possible for the secondary nature of my relationship to evolve into primary, if my partner and I desire that? If not, how will I feel about my relationship remaining secondary long into the future — say, ten or fifteen years?

*

Human beings are notoriously terrible at predicting the emotional future.  » Read more

The post PQ 11.8 — Will it be possible for the secondary nature of my relationship to evolve into primary, if my partner and I desire that? If not, how will I feel about my relationship remaining secondary long into the future — say, ten or fifteen years? appeared first on Poly.Land.

Same Sex Datey Vibes and Social Recognition: Did They Split the Check?

“Are you all set with that?” the bartender asks.

It takes me a second to even register what she means. I look down. There’s a black leather check holder on the bar. Partially obscured by my glass.

“Oh! Oh,” I say. “Sorry. I didn’t even see it.”

My girlfriend Ro looks at me.  » Read more

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The Intimacy Blanket: Uniqueness Without Exclusive Elements

I recently wrote a post called “Territorial Markers Aren’t a Great Proxy for Love.” In it, I talk about the time I was challenged because my husband shared a rainbow wine glass with a guest. Without my realizing it, those particular glasses had become emotionally linked to a romantic trip we’d taken together.  » Read more

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The Other Man Was My Tears: On Crying in Secret

Crying in the Shower

I slump against the shower wall, fumbling for the spout.

As soon as the hot water hits me, water springs from my own eyes. It’s like a rainstorm in the desert. My lungs open like desert blooms, and I sob with my full might.

I hear footsteps in an adjacent room.  » Read more

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I Would Do Anything for Love, but I Won’t Do That

My second book, a quickstart guide for people looking to open up their relationships (especially geeky couples), is almost done. The beta readers have given their feedback, and I’m fixing the final draft as we speak so that Skyspook can finish the layout. Eeeeee! So exciting! Coming soon — don’t worry, you won’t miss it.  » Read more

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3 Ways of Being Polyamorous: Wanting, Having, Sharing

“So I’m seeing this guy,” she says. “And he says he’s poly, but…”

“But?”

“He’s so not okay with my seeing other people. He has a bunch of other partners. Seems like he falls in love every five minutes. But the second I look at someone else, he’s a mess.”  » Read more

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PQ 11.7 — Will the term secondary be applied to my relationship, and if so, do I understand how the primary couple is defining the word? Am I comfortable with the definition?

PQ 11.7 — Will the term secondary be applied to my relationship, and if so, do I understand how the primary couple is defining the word? Am I comfortable with the definition?

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A new thread appears in one of the poly discussion groups I’m in.  Asking people for their input on what the terms “primary”  » Read more

The post PQ 11.7 — Will the term secondary be applied to my relationship, and if so, do I understand how the primary couple is defining the word? Am I comfortable with the definition? appeared first on Poly.Land.

PQ 11.6 — Do I know whether the rules that apply to my relationship are subject to change? If so, who may change them, and how? What input will I have into those changes?

PQ 11.6 — Do I know whether the rules that apply to my relationship are subject to change? If so, who may change them, and how? What input will I have into those changes?

Individual Rules Are Like Mini-Agreements

As I wrote recently, these days I’m a little leery of “rules,” while at the same time understanding how they were absolutely invaluable when I was a brand new poly person.  » Read more

The post PQ 11.6 — Do I know whether the rules that apply to my relationship are subject to change? If so, who may change them, and how? What input will I have into those changes? appeared first on Poly.Land.