Page Turner's Blog, page 148

The Conscientious Polyamorist

A study came out a while back correlating personality traits with polyamory and other forms of consensual non-monogamy. I read it with great interest but didn’t write about it for a long time.

Frankly, I was rather feelsy about the results:

Having an openness to experience made it more likely that someone would have positive attitudes towards consensual non-monogamy (CNM) and be willing to engage in those kinds of relationships
People high in conscientiousness were markedly less likely to have consensually non-monogamous relationships and in general held more negative attitudes toward them

As the study authors wrote about the second point:

“[I]ndividuals who tend to be very organized,  » Read more

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When You’re Used to People Pressuring You, Patience Can Be Life-Changing

She’s been pushed too far. Way too many times. And what she wants more than anything is for you to wait.

All she wants is time to make up her mind. Enough so that she can really sort through and consider her feelings. Enough to make sure this is what she wants. Moving too quickly in the past has led to buyer’s remorse.  » Read more

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PQ 13.4 — What evidence do I have that my partners love and care for me?

PQ 13.4 — What evidence do I have that my partners love and care for me?

The Love Detective

For most of my life, I was a detective when it came to my relationships. I was constantly on the hunt for evidence — incriminating details that showed that they weren’t as excited about me as I hoped they were.  » Read more

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PQ 13.3 — What are my existing commitments? How can I meet them while still making room for new relationships?

PQ 13.3 — What are my existing commitments? How can I meet them while still making room for new relationships?

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I’ll admit it. There are days when I feel like I’m playing Tetris with only the top few lines open. Trying to spin those clunky blocks in basically no space at all,  » Read more

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How Are We Supposed to Really Understand Sex If We’re Not Comfortable Talking About It?

It’s happy hour at the bar with Skyspook’s coworkers. I’m his designated driver and feeling a bit out of place as a plus one. Most of the people there I’m meeting for the first time, and they’re nice enough, so I do my best to chat with them.

I’m relieved when Skyspook’s boss walks up to me since we’ve met in the past and talked before.  » Read more

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When You’re Constantly Judging the Person You Love

“I heard you broke up,” she says.

I nod.

“You okay?” she asks.

“Honestly, I’ve been better,” I say. “But I’m getting by.”

“Maybe it’s too soon to ask this, but is there anything I should know?”

“Anything that you should know?” I say. It takes a second for it to dawn on me.  » Read more

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Going It Alone… Kinda: A Life Full of Love and Understanding

“I’m really sorry I can’t be there,” I said to Skyspook, hugging him goodbye at the door. He looked so good in his tuxedo that I didn’t really want to let him go.

“Me, too,” he said. “I’ll text you though. Have a great time.”

“You, too,” I said, as he stepped out the door.  » Read more

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Not Just Cheating: The Other Kind of Unethical Non-Monogamy

“So I ran into someone you know while I was at the mall today,” my roommate Noah said.

“Oh yeah?” I said. “Who?”

He said the name of a theater director I knew. A friend of a close friend.

“Nice,” I said. “How’s he doing anyway? I haven’t talked to him in ages.”  » Read more

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The War on Christmas. Or Monogamy. Or Something.

War on Christmas Lady

I can hear her coming down the hall, talking to someone on her cell phone as she walks into the office suite.

“All this so-called gender stuff hurts kids. I read that some kindergartner decided their gender was ‘tractor’ and I’m supposed to respect that?”

She doesn’t know I can hear her,  » Read more

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PQ 13.2 — If I feel a desire to restrict relationships between my partners and their partners, what underlying need am I trying to meet?

PQ 13.2 — If I feel a desire to restrict relationships between my partners and their partners, what underlying need am I trying to meet?

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I used to spend a lot of time when I was a kid thinking about magic. It was all the rage in middle school especially.  » Read more

The post PQ 13.2 — If I feel a desire to restrict relationships between my partners and their partners, what underlying need am I trying to meet? appeared first on Poly.Land.