Page Turner's Blog, page 127

PQ 22.3 — When a partner’s relationship ends, what can I do to prevent myself from taking sides or being drawn into the conflict?

PQ 22.3 — When a partner’s relationship ends, what can I do to prevent myself from taking sides or being drawn into the conflict?

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You know, maybe it’s not cool to admit this, but I’m going to: Sometimes you do take sides.

Especially if you’ve watched a disaster movie play out in slow motion for months between your partner and metamour.  » Read more

The post PQ 22.3 — When a partner’s relationship ends, what can I do to prevent myself from taking sides or being drawn into the conflict? appeared first on Poly.Land.

PQ 22.2 — If a relationship ends, what does that mean for my other partners? Will I try to promote one of them to primary?

PQ 22.2 — If a relationship ends, what does that mean for my other partners? Will I try to promote one of them to primary?

The Pros & Pitfalls of a Modular Approach to Polyamory

I had a polyamorous friend back in the day who I call Pete that really did seem to take a very modular approach to polyamory.  » Read more

The post PQ 22.2 — If a relationship ends, what does that mean for my other partners? Will I try to promote one of them to primary? appeared first on Poly.Land.

I Write Because It’s Harder to Interrupt Me

I’m sitting in the backseat listening to them talk. They’re having a lively conversation.

It makes me think of a story, something from my own life. “Hey guys,” I say.

They don’t hear me. They keep on talking. They’re doing their own thing.

I lean back in my seat and pull out my phone.  » Read more

The post I Write Because It’s Harder to Interrupt Me appeared first on Poly.Land.

Co-Primacy: Yes, You Can Have More Than One Primary

Hi Page,

I heard you talking on a podcast saying that you used to have three primaries. How is that even possible? I thought you could only have one.

And I was wondering about something else:  I always thought that primary and secondary were terms used for comparison.  » Read more

The post Co-Primacy: Yes, You Can Have More Than One Primary appeared first on Poly.Land.

PQ 22.1 — How do I approach the end of my relationships? What do I want from my former partners?

PQ 22.1 — How do I approach the end of my relationships? What do I want from my former partners?

When Being Dumped, I Like Clear-cut Notification I Can Receive in Private that Doesn’t Require a Response

I’m starting to think I’m unusual in this regard. Since I really want only one thing when someone is breaking up with me: I want to know it’s over.   » Read more

The post PQ 22.1 — How do I approach the end of my relationships? What do I want from my former partners? appeared first on Poly.Land.

PQ 21.7 — Do I let problems in the relationships around me affect me? How do I assert boundaries around problems that aren’t mine?

PQ 21.7 — Do I let problems in the relationships around me affect me? How do I assert boundaries around problems that aren’t mine?

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In a piece I wrote earlier in this series on managing boundaries in polyamorous relationship systems, I wrote that one of the trickiest parts of polyamory is determining whether or not what you’re doing affects someone else.  » Read more

The post PQ 21.7 — Do I let problems in the relationships around me affect me? How do I assert boundaries around problems that aren’t mine? appeared first on Poly.Land.

Ask Page: Can He Force Me Into Mono/Poly Just Because He’s a Dominant?

Hi Page,

I’m kind of new to this whole thing, being kinky and poly. Been talking to someone, and I have doubts. I would love to know if you could shed some light on them.

Talking to a guy right now, and he says that just because he’s a Dominant that he can go out with other submissives while he doesn’t even let me talk to other people.  » Read more

The post Ask Page: Can He Force Me Into Mono/Poly Just Because He’s a Dominant? appeared first on Poly.Land.

PQ 21.6 — Do I have problems that make it difficult for my partners to be with me? How do I seek to mitigate those?

PQ 21.6 — Do I have problems that make it difficult for my partners to be with me? How do I seek to mitigate those?

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“I think I’m becoming undateable,” I say to my friends.

They argue with me. Tell me that’s not true. They point to my existing two partners as evidence that contradicts this assertion.  » Read more

The post PQ 21.6 — Do I have problems that make it difficult for my partners to be with me? How do I seek to mitigate those? appeared first on Poly.Land.

PQ 21.5 — Can I respond to change in my relationship with grace?

PQ 21.5 — Can I respond to change in my relationship with grace?

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It has been a long and emotional day. One of the best days of my life. I am out with a couple of friends in a restaurant celebrating.

“You know, Page, don’t take this the wrong way,  » Read more

The post PQ 21.5 — Can I respond to change in my relationship with grace? appeared first on Poly.Land.

I Don’t Get Over Things by Forgetting Them. I Do It by Remembering & Making Sense of Them.

“I’m not sure why people keep saying my pieces are painful to read,” I say to Justin. “I mean, it’s usually a part of a ‘but I love them’ kind of comment. But yeah, they’re always saying they’re painful. And I’m not sure why.”

“It makes them think about themselves and their lives,”  » Read more

The post I Don’t Get Over Things by Forgetting Them. I Do It by Remembering & Making Sense of Them. appeared first on Poly.Land.