Page Turner's Blog, page 126
July 18, 2018
“Should I Date Someone New So I Can Experience Both Sides of Being Polyamorous?”
Hi Page,
I’ve been in a relationship for about six months now. We agreed to be polyamorous from the start (both of us had another partner at that point), but we became monogamous by circumstance shortly afterwards. Two months ago, my partner started seeing someone else, and I’ve been struggling since then. » Read more
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July 17, 2018
Understanding Each Other’s Yes & Finding the Overlap: A Brief Guide to BDSM Negotiation
Hi Page, do you have any tips on BDSM negotiation?
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Negotiation Is About Obtaining Clear Consent. In BDSM That’s Not Just Getting a Yes or No, It’s Also Making Sure You Both Know What Someone Is Saying Yes to.
Consent is an extremely important issue to the BDSM community. » Read more
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July 16, 2018
It’s Okay to Care What Other People Think of You — But Be Specific
I had an ex who once told me, “The only thing that’s wrong with you is that you think there’s something wrong with you. You shouldn’t care what people think.”
Looking back, I can kind of see what he meant. In those days, I spent most of my time consumed by doubt. Drowning in shame. » Read more
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July 15, 2018
PQ 22.5 — Have I ever spread bitterness in the community or set people against each other by taking sides or by not keeping confidences?
PQ 22.5 — Have I ever spread bitterness in the community or set people against each other by taking sides or by not keeping confidences?
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In order to better understand the context of this question, I reviewed Chapter 22 of More than Two and found the following:
As elsewhere in poly relationships, » Read more
The post PQ 22.5 — Have I ever spread bitterness in the community or set people against each other by taking sides or by not keeping confidences? appeared first on Poly.Land.
July 14, 2018
PQ 22.4 — Polyamory Toolbox: Mother-In-Law Boundaries
PQ 22.4 — What boundaries do I set around problems within my partners’ other relationships?
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Today’s question deals with a similar subject matter to one I answered recently: PQ 21.7 — Do I let problems in the relationships around me affect me? How do I assert boundaries around problems that aren’t mine? » Read more
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July 13, 2018
Dating Someone Who Doesn’t Seem to Need You Can Be Difficult
My entire life I’ve been that person that others feel comfortable opening up to. I’m not sure what it is, exactly. Maybe it’s because I’m so average looking, like a movie extra. The girl next door. Cute when viewed from certain angles but not terribly distinctive in appearance.
I personally find it weirdly easy to form positive impressions of new folks when they look like people from my past I’m quite fond of (transference, » Read more
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July 12, 2018
The Wizard of Dom: All Confidence, No Competence
Hi Page, my local kink scene has been dealing with a mess from this guy who exaggerated his background in kink but was actually a beginner and then went on to do a bunch of damage. What do you think of that? Why do you think that happens? Have you ever seen something like that happen before? » Read more
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July 11, 2018
A Disclaimer About Advice: “Your Mileage May Vary, You Do You”
Basically, all advice ever given has the hidden disclaimer “Your mileage may vary, you do you,” attached to it. Even if the writer doesn’t come out and explicitly say it, it’s implied. If enough people read a piece, someone will stumble upon it that will find the contents of the piece unhelpful. It’s expected. » Read more
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July 10, 2018
Reasons Why 5 Ambiamorous People Are Functionally Monogamous…At Least For Now
Often people view monogamy and polyamory as being polar opposites. Some even take the view that monogamy and polyamory aren’t relationship styles but innate relationship orientations, diametrically opposed ones at that, with no overlap. In this view, you’re either mono or poly. And there’s nothing in between.
Setting aside the nitpicky issue that the more proper linguistic pairs re: opposites would be monogamy/polygamy and polyamory/monamory, » Read more
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July 9, 2018
Dating Someone With Trust Issues Is Like Putting on a Seat Belt
My partner has trust issues, but they love me. How do I know they really love me? For starters, they tell me that they do. But it’s not just that. Because anyone can say it, that they love someone. The way I really know that they love me is because they’re still seeking me out after all of this time. » Read more
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