Page Turner's Blog, page 122

Setting Healthy Boundaries Without Shutting People Out Entirely Is Like Helping Someone Study But Not Letting Them Plagiarize

Hi Page, 

I hear a lot of talk about how it’s important to set healthy boundaries. And while I was initially very skeptical of this idea, the longer I’ve been polyamorous, the more I’m realizing that I do need a few boundaries for the sake of my own sanity.   » Read more

The post Setting Healthy Boundaries Without Shutting People Out Entirely Is Like Helping Someone Study But Not Letting Them Plagiarize appeared first on Poly.Land.

PQ 24.5 — Is this person available to give me what I think I want in the relationship — in terms of time, emotional intimacy, and freedom for the relationship to grow?

PQ 24.5 — Is this person available to give me what I think I want in the relationship — in terms of time, emotional intimacy, and freedom for the relationship to grow?

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As I look at today’s question, I think it’s one that perhaps people these days are more likely to ask of me.  » Read more

The post PQ 24.5 — Is this person available to give me what I think I want in the relationship — in terms of time, emotional intimacy, and freedom for the relationship to grow? appeared first on Poly.Land.

PQ 24.4 — Am I being asked to give up anything to be in this relationship? If so, do I feel that what I will get in return is worth the price?

PQ 24.4 — Am I being asked to give up anything to be in this relationship? If so, do I feel that what I will get in return is worth the price?

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Once upon a time, I was a true social chameleon. I had the ability to blend in practically anywhere.  » Read more

The post PQ 24.4 — Am I being asked to give up anything to be in this relationship? If so, do I feel that what I will get in return is worth the price? appeared first on Poly.Land.

When You Have to Interact With a Manipulative Person You’d Rather Avoid, Act Like a Gray Rock

In a recent essay, I wrote about 10 things that I do that help me write openly about my life without going crazy in the process. After that article came out, I had several readers write back in response. One point in particular seemed to resonate with many folks, tip #6, in which I discuss how to deal with people who are trying to stir up conflict,  » Read more

The post When You Have to Interact With a Manipulative Person You’d Rather Avoid, Act Like a Gray Rock appeared first on Poly.Land.

Are You a Love Cook or a Love Baker?

He’s standing outside the door, hanging and chatting as other folks finish up their cigarettes. In his hand is a cupcake that he brought to the party.

“Oh, my partner made them,” he says. “She’s the baker in the house. Me? I’m more of a cook.”

“It’s funny how that works,”  » Read more

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Musicians Who Prefer to Play in Groups Aren’t Considered Selfish, But Lovers Who Prefer Groups Are

I’m sitting with my girlfriend Ro at a jazz club. The band tonight is incredible. They tell us they drove directly to Cleveland from New Orleans, their home base. A 16-hour drive. But listening to them, you’d never know. If this is what rolling off the tour bus and phoning it in sounds like, I can’t imagine what their peak performance would be.  » Read more

The post Musicians Who Prefer to Play in Groups Aren’t Considered Selfish, But Lovers Who Prefer Groups Are appeared first on Poly.Land.

Why Are Kinksters Such Gossips?

This past weekend, I went to a play party for the first time in a while. I was mostly there in a working capacity for the organizers, acting as the presenter liaison for the night.

As it turned out, the presenters were incredibly low maintenance and retired fairly early. So I unexpectedly ended up with a lot of time on my hands.  » Read more

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10 Times Gandalf Gave Excellent Relationship Advice

Ahhhh, Gandalf…

Tolkien’s chief wizard is emotional, wise, and powerful. Although aloof and at times a little arrogant, Gandalf possesses a deep insight and knowledge about the people around him. Magic isn’t the only thing he’s a wizard at. He’s superb at time management and work-life balance, having the emotional bandwidth to do things like tell gigantic flaming demons they cannot pass (seriously,  » Read more

The post 10 Times Gandalf Gave Excellent Relationship Advice appeared first on Poly.Land.

PQ 24.3 — Do I understand and agree to any rules that will apply to my relationship?

PQ 24.3 — Do I understand and agree to any rules that will apply to my relationship?

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Here are a few questions I’ve answered in this series that cover very similar territory to today’s:

11.5 – Do I clearly understand both the letter and the intent of the rules that will apply to my relationship?

  » Read more

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PQ 24.2 — Does this person have relationship values similar to mine?

PQ 24.2 — Does this person have relationship values similar to mine?

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This far along in this series, there are likely to be a lot of questions that are basically repeats of earlier ones. This is understandable since Veaux and Rickert never intended that the chapter end questions in their book be tackled this way,  » Read more

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