Page Turner's Blog, page 125

PQ 23.3 — Do my expectations allow space for metamours who might have different expectations?

PQ 23.3 — Do my expectations allow space for metamours who might have different expectations?

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“When it comes to polyamory, sometimes I think I’m the world’s biggest Monday morning quarterback,” she says.

I laugh involuntarily. “I’m not really into football,” I warn her.

“Well, you live in Cleveland,  » Read more

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How Bisexual Erasure & Toxic Monogamy Culture Are Linked

On Halloween of 2016, I published a post titled “Toxic Monogamy,” in which I wrote:

Monogamy in and of itself has so many good qualities. Sexual exclusivity in particular has a large upside. When practiced perfectly (although not always the case, even when it’s meant to be), it carries a lower STI risk.   » Read more

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The Pressure From Within: Beware the Self-Imposed Demand

Have you ever considered, beloved other, how invisible we are to each other? We look at each other without seeing. We listen to each other and hear only a voice inside our self. The words of others are mistakes of our hearing, shipwrecks of our understanding. How confidently we believe OUR meanings of other people’s words.  » Read more

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Polyamory Helped Me Find a Community of Other Bisexual People

As I’ve written before, unlike a lot of other polyamorous educators, I wasn’t someone who always knew I was polyamorous. Indeed, I considered myself quite a monogamous person growing up. Even now, I think of myself as being more ambiamorous than anything else, able to happily practice either polyamory or monogamy,  » Read more

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Apparently You’re Not Supposed to Invite Exes to Your Wedding. Oops.

I’ve been married twice, but until recently I had never been asked to be in a wedding that wasn’t my own. You could say I was always a bride, never a bridesmaid. But in the past few months, I received news that this is about to change.

First, I was asked to be a bridesmaid in what will arguably be one of the most polyamorous weddings I’ve ever been to,  » Read more

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4 Clear Signs It’s Time to End Your Relationship

Hi Page, how do you know it’s time to end a relationship? I know relationships take work, but sometimes I feel like I’m beating a dead horse. 

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Great question! This was a tricky distinction for me to master. For the longest time, I was really reluctant to break up with people (even when it made sense to) because I’d internalized the following scripts surrounding breakups:

Breakups are bad in and of themselves.

  » Read more

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PQ 23.2 — Do I have to know my metamours? Do I expect to have close relationships with them?

PQ 23.2 — Do I have to know my metamours? Do I expect to have close relationships with them?

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2015

I’m coordinating with my metamour to plan some dates. Normally, this is fairly easy since we have not one shared partner, but two. She’s not only dating one of my partners but I’m also dating a different one of hers.  » Read more

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PQ 23.1 — A Letter to My Future Metamour

PQ 23.1 — What are my expectations of my metamours?

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Dear Metamour,

First of all, let me say that you have wonderful taste. You are dating one of the best people I’ve ever met. I’m thrilled about this new development and will do everything in my power to ensure that you two have the time and space to pursue that new relationship together.  » Read more

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Is It Okay to Babysit Your Metamour’s Kids?

Is it okay to babysit your metamour’s kids?

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It’s a Thursday night in 2009. My metamour has a date with my partner, but her husband gets called in to work.

“Well, that sucks,” my partner says. “I haven’t seen her for a while.”

And it’s true.  » Read more

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People Dread Breakups, But I Wouldn’t Want to Date Without Them

“It’s funny,” she says. “One thing I really like about polyamory is that relationships just aren’t under the same amount of pressure. Love this person but you’d make terrible roommates? Okay, you don’t move in together. You both live with the people who are better nesting partners for you.”

“Or if one partner has really bland taste in food,  » Read more

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