Page Turner's Blog, page 112

Selfish Lovers Don’t Just Disappoint. They Can Also Distort Your View of Sexuality.

I remember the first time I slept with someone who actually cared about my pleasure. The way they moved their hands over my body, the way they monitored my face to see if I liked what they were doing. The way they actually even asked what I liked.

It felt good,  » Read more

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“When a Metamour Resents My Existence, I Feel My Compersion Begin to Die”

Hi Page,

My compersion appears to be conditional. I’m not ashamed for this. I’m trying to acknowledge it and turn it around. Love shouldn’t be conditional and for me it’s not. So this has been a big pill to swallow. Have you written about this? When a partner’s partner resents your existence and you feel your compersion for them begin to die?  » Read more

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My Friends on the Kink Scene Brought Me Back to Life

2000

“It’s not the drugs,” Kurt said. “It’s the people you meet because of the drugs.”

He was a heavy user and had been for some time. Like many people, when I first met him, I’d pegged him for an addict. Assumed that his use was as simple as that, biochemical dependency.  » Read more

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“Wow, I Literally Was Just Talking About This, and Now It’s Everywhere I Look”

“You know what I haven’t seen in a long while?” I said to my friend.

“What?”

“Scratch and sniff stickers,” I said. “They were all the rage when I was in a kid. I lusted after them so hard.”

“They totally make those,” my friend said.

“I know,”  » Read more

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We Tend to Think More About Tasks That Are Unfinished

Compersion has a semi-exalted status in polyamorous circles. Simply stated, compersion (also known as confelicity or mudita) is delight in the happiness of others — even when that happiness has little or nothing to do with you. When you get down to it, compersion is just a very specific kind of empathy, one that runs counter to our cultural expectations.  » Read more

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Concept Creep, Or “You Keep Using That Word. I Do Not Think It Means What You Think It Means.”

Concept creep has to be one of my biggest pet peeves.

What’s concept creep? It’s pretty much what it sounds like. Concept creep occurs when a concept that originally meant something very specific later comes to encompass a much broader set of unrelated, or only loosely related, phenomena.

Psychology has been particularly plagued by concept creep.  » Read more

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“I’m in Love With My Domme, But She Doesn’t Love Me Back. What Should I Do?”

Hi Page,

I’ve been struggling with something for a while now and need advice and support from someone who might understand.

Here’s the situation: I’m married to a vanilla guy I love a lot. He knows I’m a sub and that I have a Domme. I’ve been with my Domme for several years.  » Read more

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Remember: Even the “Experts” Struggle Sometimes

Me: As a relationship coach, whenever I have an issue I have to work on in one of my relationships, I always feel extra bad about it. Because I’m an “expert” or whatever. And yet, still human.

Justin: Page, what do professional chefs cook themselves for dinner?

Me: Cereal.

Justin: Exactly.  » Read more

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Potato Rock Revelations, Or When You Learn Something New About Someone You’ve Known a Long Time

My mother-in-law likes to walk beaches and look for interesting rocks. And apparently she has plenty to choose from on the shores of Lake Michigan.

Her collection is proudly displayed in her living room. And there’s just about everything you can imagine in there.

Apparently one time many, many years ago,  » Read more

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It’s Easy to Knock Polyamory If You Haven’t Seen Any Healthy Examples of It

It’s late into the party, likely the final quarter of it judging by the sharp drop-off in energy and attendance.  A lot of the guests have gone home. Most of the ones who are still here have gone inside. Out by the fire, it’s just me and my friend Z, the reverse canary,  » Read more

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