Page Turner's Blog, page 113

Many People Think They Are Fair While Only Seeing What They Want to See

I’m sitting in the courtroom trying to pay careful attention to the questions the lawyers are asking my fellow potential jurors. I know it’s unlikely that I’ll even get to speak. I was called last in my pool. I’ll only be asked to actively participate in voir dire — the jury selection process whereby we’re questioned by both lawyers to determine how suitable we are to serve —  » Read more

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Humans Are Awfully Good at Splitting Ourselves Into Teams & Kicking Up a Giant Fuss About It

“If you’re not with us, you’re against us,” some folks like to say.

Ah, the old Us and Them. That age old story of human conflict. We’re awfully good at splitting ourselves into teams based on perceived similarity and difference and then kicking up a giant fuss about it.

Really, really good.  » Read more

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I Used to Delete Facebook Statuses All the Time

“What did you post?” Justin asks me.

“Huh?” I say.

“You posted something. I got a notification, but I went to your wall to look, and… nothing.”

“Oh,” I say. “I forget that you super stalk me.”

“Damn right, I do,” he says, smiling. “You deleted it,  » Read more

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When Sex Positivity Is Rape Culture With a Bow On It

Content Warning: Sex Positivity as Coercion

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Today’s piece is a guest blog post from Fluffy, an academic in-training, who is studying organizational behavior in hopes of making the world a better place.

This is the seventh article they’ve contributed to Poly.Land (wow!). Here are the others:

I’m Too Anxious to Be Jealous
Everything I’ve Ever Learned About Non-Monogamy My Puppy Taught Me All Over Again 
Is There a Right Time or Way to Break Up a Relationship?

  » Read more

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I Have an Extreme, Possibly Irrational, Hatred of Online Dating

Confession: I have an extreme, possibly irrational, hatred of online dating.

I Didn’t Try Online Dating Until 2009 After I Had My First Polyamorous Relationships

I started my very first serious long-term monogamous relationship in the spring of 2001. Back then, online dating certainly existed, but not many people were using it. Online dating was a lot more niche —  » Read more

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7 Ways to Support People Who Are Estranged From Their Families Over the Holidays

Hi Page, I enjoyed your open letter to your mother. I don’t have a difficult relationship with my own parents, so it was very eye opening to me. I do have friends whose situation is similar to yours though. The holidays are coming up soon, and I’ve heard that they can be a tough time for people estranged from their families.  » Read more

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I’ve Danced With George Michael So Many Times

I have a gay male friend who is tall, has a full beard, and is very masculine but often dresses up for house parties in a fabulous dress with matching accessories. The entire glamorous works.

Well, I call him gay. But I think he considers himself Kinsey 5. I faintly recall one time his telling me that he likes boobs and has had a good time in MMF threesomes where he wasn’t directly engaged with the below bits of a lady.   » Read more

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Social Psychology’s Biggest Double Standard: The Fundamental Attribution Error

“Do unto others twenty-five percent better than you expect them to do unto you…The twenty-five percent is for error.”

-Linus Pauling

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You’re sitting in a class listening to a lecture. It’s a good discussion. You’re fairly engrossed. Time is passing pretty quickly.

All of a sudden,  » Read more

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When People Tell You What They Think You Want to Hear

It is really difficult for an organization to get honest feedback.

Whenever I talk about this (whether it’s part of a training or even at a research presentation), I’ll inevitably get someone who jumps in and argues with the premise almost immediately.

“Not from me,” they’ll say. “I let people know what I think.”  » Read more

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“If You Broke Up, You Weren’t Really in Love”

Having gone through plenty of breakups myself, I can tell you firsthand that they can be a real bummer. Whether you were dumped or the one who initiated it. And even when it’s mutual.

When it’s over, it can be easy to question yourself. I don’t know how many times I’ve heard people wonder post-breakup: Was I really in love?  » Read more

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