Page Turner's Blog, page 109

The Love Languages Are All Attention

I was teaching a class a while back on an unrelated topic when a student interjected with an observation. The Love Languages framework is arguably one of the most popular and widely understood relationship models these days (and I write about it myself from time to time), so it was no surprise when they brought it up.  » Read more

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“You Don’t Act Married. You Like Each Other Too Much.”

“You guys aren’t married, are you?” our cab driver asks us.

“Actually we are,” I say.

“Newlyweds?” he asks.

“We’ve been together eight years,” I answer.

“Wow,” he says. “You don’t act married.”

“What do you mean?”

Our car driver tells us that we seem to get along too well,  » Read more

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Poly Land Is Officially Back From Vacation and Ready to Roll

Heya folks,

As I mentioned in a recent previous post, Poly Land recently went on an end-of-the-year vacation.

I have two bits of good news to report about that:

Everything went really smoothly under the auspices of the auto-scheduler and AI assistant (honestly, way more smoothly than anyone expected).

  » Read more

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What’s the Difference Between Vulnerability and Insecurity?

It’s been a bad couple of days. I haven’t been able to be the kind of person I’d like to be. And I know it. It stings.

No one’s holding a grudge about it but me. But I’m good enough at holding grudges against myself for multiple people (unfortunately, this doesn’t count as a polyamorous skill,  » Read more

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Locus of Control: Who’s Driving Your Life?

When I first started dating, I was pretty clueless about what kind of person I should be seeking out. I was frankly pretty slapdash with regard to partner selection.

In the early days, I pretty much would date anyone who would have me. I looked at dating as a challenge where I needed to trick the other person into thinking I was their ideal partner until it was too late for them to change their mind about me —  » Read more

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Selective Attention: We Notice What We Notice and Ignore the Rest

Sometimes people have this idea that reality runs like a video tape before us. One in which we simultaneously perceive everything going on. If it happened while we were there, we saw it. No question. And everyone who was also there also saw the same tape.

But scientists studying memory, cognition,  » Read more

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Is It Really Impossible… Or Is It Learned Helplessness?

These days, Martin Seligman is doing pretty uplifting work. A past president of the American Psychological Association, Seligman is often known as the father of positive psychology, a newer subspecialty that focuses on the positive aspects of human behavior: Striving, thriving, flourishing.

But his big break into psychological research wasn’t so rosy.

In his earliest days as a researcher,  » Read more

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Love Is Basically Bias, So What Can You Do?

Today’s piece is a guest blog post from Fluffy, an academic in-training, who is studying organizational behavior in hopes of making the world a better place.

Fluffy is a frequent contributor to Poly Land. Here are the other articles they’ve written for us:

I’m Too Anxious to Be Jealous
Everything I’ve Ever Learned About Non-Monogamy My Puppy Taught Me All Over Again 
Is There a Right Time or Way to Break Up a Relationship?

  » Read more

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Why Does No Mean Something Different Based on Who Says It?

Today’s article is a guest writing from Justin Case.

Geek by day, geek by night, Justin Case grew up in a town without stoplights and developed his impressive mechanical skills by taking apart toasters when he was still in diapers (thankfully, he survived those early experiments and is still with us). An engineer who specializes in systems,  » Read more

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Confessions of a Hypogender, Graysexual, Demiro, Queer Secondary

Today’s article is an anonymous guest letter from a reader. Enjoy!

*

Dear Poly Land,

Sharing with the air, because I’m sure there must be someone here in Poly Land who needs to know they are not alone.

I went 13 years without having a second date.  » Read more

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