Page Turner's Blog, page 114

I Like to Imagine Ideal Partners for My Friends

It’s kind of a weird conversation whenever Fluffy and I talk about Shen.

My best friend Fluffy has spent the vast majority of the time I’ve known them single. This is because gay dating can be hard, especially when you’re looking for specific things. Fluffy has a hard time finding the right guy (or guys —  » Read more

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An Open Letter to a Conservative, Sex-Negative Mother From Her Bisexual, Polyamorous Daughter

Dear Mom,

I know you’re confused by how I live. I’ve come to expect it. It’s understandable to me that you don’t get it. That you don’t get how I live my life.

You say my life is too quiet. That I should have a kid or get a few dogs.   » Read more

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Personal Growth Can Be a Wonderful Thing, But It Can Also Sometimes Mean Losing People

People tend to talk about personal growth in rather glowing terms, like it’s always a desirable goal. Something to be worked towards. Commendable.

But the truth is that the outcome isn’t always rosy, at least not in the short term. The most important growth usually doesn’t come without some sort of cost.

The hardest part about figuring yourself out is that you can’t always take other people with you.  » Read more

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Loving Multiple People Is Like Having More Channels on Your TV

Growing up, I had a television in my bedroom. I’m not sure exactly where it came from — whether it was from my parents or one of my older sisters– but it was a hand-me-down. Obsolete and tiny. Black and white. We didn’t have cable in my house growing up, so the best case scenario started out limited to four channels.  » Read more

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When You’re Giving a Speech, You Don’t Look Nearly as Nervous as You Feel

Public speaking has always made me nervous.

This typically comes as a surprise to people, as I’ve done an awful lot of it in my life. I started pretty young, as a lector at my church. Later I would act in plays and compete in Lincoln-Douglas debate.

After I studied to become a psychological researcher,  » Read more

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When They Say Not to Do Something, We Want to Do It Even More

Have you ever had someone tell you not to do something — and all of a sudden, you really want to do it?

Maybe it’s something you hadn’t even thought about, at all, before. But now, the minute someone’s telling you not to do something, you’re fighting the urge to rebel and do it.  » Read more

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Love Is Blind, But the Neighbors Aren’t

El amor es ciego, pero los vecinos no. 

(Love is blind, but the neighbors aren’t.)

-Spanish idiom

*

Sometimes I wonder what our neighbors must think of us. What they make of the cast of characters that shuffle in and out of our lives. The way strange cars idle in our driveway.  » Read more

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Being the Last One to Know Can Feel Humiliating

In fifth grade, I was friends with Ashley, the most popular girl at school. Her mother was our girl scout troop leader. Ashley was blonde. Good at sports. Her older sister was going to Dartmouth, a fact Ashley would constantly reveal to any new adult she encountered.

I never quite understood at the time why,  » Read more

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Dear God Is Monogamy Easier When You Stop Shaming Yourself for Crushes

“I have to thank you for me having sanity,” my monogamous friend Gull says.

“Ooooo,” I say. I lean forward in my chair. This sounds like it’s gonna be good.

“So okay, I’ve been talking to this dude for about six months,” she says. “And the friendship kind of got thrown into close friendship quickly due to stupid stuff from external drama.”  » Read more

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Whatever You Do, Don’t Mix Up Your Partners

I wrote an essay a few weeks ago called  I’m Sorry, I Had You Mixed Up with Someone Else. That piece is primarily about how difficult it is to recover from experiencing abuse and not let it affect your future relationships. Here’s an excerpt:

Ninety-five percent of me, ninety-five percent of the time knows that the past is the past and that I’m in a better place now.  » Read more

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