Maryanne Comaroto's Blog, page 3
April 16, 2010
Shamelessly (?) self-promoting?
Are you a history buff? No? Me either, but I will never forget Glenn Close in Dangerous liaisons. The scene still stuck in my mind where her life of privilege and power climaxes in ruins- because she dared to what? Manipulate people to suit her purposes, avenge herself (jilted by the man she loved who used her and tossed her aside for a younger version), seek revenge, relish the feeling of power, and revel in her own self centeredness. Gosh, this reminds me of something… what is that…I know-MEN.
Ohhhh, wait a minute, is this male bashing? Some may say so, I believe it is simply one passionate opinion about the pandemic affect of this two thousand year old inequity. What I am trying to say really is that, how come when a woman tries to bend things to suit her needs she’s a thankless whore and when men do it they are…just being men. When women are shrewd in business, arranging people, places and things to most optimally benefit her desired goals they are willful bitches and men, savvy hunters?
Am I saying we women want to adopt such scruples? Hell NO. What I am saying is enough already! And set forth a motion to do away with this reckless thinking and embrace a more lavish approach to achieving, creating and realizing what we all want and need and would like.
We will collectively grow up and subscribe to the more the merrier, there is plenty for everyone and then you wait and see what happens!! Until then lets inquire whether or not we want to continue to subscribe to an antiquated way of promoting our passions, taking care of our selves and achieving our deepest desires; groveling along, manipulating our pretty little way to success, trying to be the good girls and wives that we were taught to be.
So let me offer a few pointers and suggestions, how do I promote myself without feeling shame or frightened of how others will view me or instinctively feeling like I may offend people that I believe I need in order to survive~
First~ Ask yourself who your source is? Go on really. Who or what is the source of flow, money etc in your life. You may not like your answer but you will see it is the source of your angst. A clue is if you believe source is outside of you, or have simply forgotten- there’s the work to be done!
Second~ There is no other!This means we are all one and whatever you see or experience outside your self is simply a projection of your own material and beliefs. Maddening isn’t it. But when you think about it really its empowering and ultimately freeing! And a stellar opportunity to embrace and heal your own beliefs and story about yourself and the world around you! Like men have power women don’t, self promotion is shameful etc. cause if you see it or believe then its true (for you).
Third ~ And last for now , have some fun and stretch yourself. Try celebrating yourself out loud and test some of those theories. Will people really think you’re a shameless self promoter? And if they do, so what? Once a woman told me something I will never forget; “She said to me’ Honey child, half the people you meet aint gonna like you no matter what you do, the other half will. You might as well get over it! So, as Don Miguel Ruiz says, don’t take it personal! Or you stand in it and feel the burn and heal whatever insecurity keeps making you feel this way! I am a big self inquiry fan and find that when I face the daemons they go away. The shadow isn’t so scary when we shed light on what’s really underneath it all!
To go further with Maryanne's brand of self-inquiry, check out her 4-DVD series, Thrive, on sale now for $25.99! https://www.maryannelive.com/products...
Ohhhh, wait a minute, is this male bashing? Some may say so, I believe it is simply one passionate opinion about the pandemic affect of this two thousand year old inequity. What I am trying to say really is that, how come when a woman tries to bend things to suit her needs she’s a thankless whore and when men do it they are…just being men. When women are shrewd in business, arranging people, places and things to most optimally benefit her desired goals they are willful bitches and men, savvy hunters?
Am I saying we women want to adopt such scruples? Hell NO. What I am saying is enough already! And set forth a motion to do away with this reckless thinking and embrace a more lavish approach to achieving, creating and realizing what we all want and need and would like.
We will collectively grow up and subscribe to the more the merrier, there is plenty for everyone and then you wait and see what happens!! Until then lets inquire whether or not we want to continue to subscribe to an antiquated way of promoting our passions, taking care of our selves and achieving our deepest desires; groveling along, manipulating our pretty little way to success, trying to be the good girls and wives that we were taught to be.
So let me offer a few pointers and suggestions, how do I promote myself without feeling shame or frightened of how others will view me or instinctively feeling like I may offend people that I believe I need in order to survive~
First~ Ask yourself who your source is? Go on really. Who or what is the source of flow, money etc in your life. You may not like your answer but you will see it is the source of your angst. A clue is if you believe source is outside of you, or have simply forgotten- there’s the work to be done!
Second~ There is no other!This means we are all one and whatever you see or experience outside your self is simply a projection of your own material and beliefs. Maddening isn’t it. But when you think about it really its empowering and ultimately freeing! And a stellar opportunity to embrace and heal your own beliefs and story about yourself and the world around you! Like men have power women don’t, self promotion is shameful etc. cause if you see it or believe then its true (for you).
Third ~ And last for now , have some fun and stretch yourself. Try celebrating yourself out loud and test some of those theories. Will people really think you’re a shameless self promoter? And if they do, so what? Once a woman told me something I will never forget; “She said to me’ Honey child, half the people you meet aint gonna like you no matter what you do, the other half will. You might as well get over it! So, as Don Miguel Ruiz says, don’t take it personal! Or you stand in it and feel the burn and heal whatever insecurity keeps making you feel this way! I am a big self inquiry fan and find that when I face the daemons they go away. The shadow isn’t so scary when we shed light on what’s really underneath it all!
To go further with Maryanne's brand of self-inquiry, check out her 4-DVD series, Thrive, on sale now for $25.99! https://www.maryannelive.com/products...
April 7, 2010
Date and mate like a pro - no money involved!
Did you know the average person spends between $1200 to over $120,000 dollars by the end of a relationship? Think about it; drinks, movies, dinners, gas, bridge tolls, condoms, new clothes, shoes, candles, hotels, plane fares, concert tickets ~ can you hear the cash register?. OH, then come the gifts, the gifts can be VERY expensive.
You can see how this can add up. Then come the more personal, less-talked-about expenses: paying off CC debt for your lover, paying off school loans, mortgages, hit men, car loans, the IRS, their children (food, education, clothes, shelter). I should mention the last (but ironically not least) place we spend our cash in the name of relationship; the therapist. Oh, wait ~ did I mention how much it costs to sell your soul? Uhhh, priceless!
Wouldn’t it be nice if who you really are was your greatest calling card, versus what size bra cup you wear or how big your bank account was? Can you even imagine it? Relationship factoid~ Most relationships hit their peak at week 6, after a long game of carefully revealing and playing your cards; texting, sexting, skype-love, and deep insecurity. At some point this person is going to find out you’re inevitably human, the ultimate buzz-kill and eventual disappointing deal-breaker; unless, in the best-case scenario, you leave first.
This is your lucky millennia, people. While many people will continue to unconsciously bumble along playing relationship roulette, it doesn’t have to be this way. Studies are showing that while our senses (or lower nature, some would say) play a large role in attracting a mate, turns out self-awareness (your higher consciousness) trumps all that biological drive after all. Finally, after forever, we can now proudly claim this ability to contemplate ourselves, which is what separates us from the primates, and happily exclaim I am free at last to choose, free at last!. Soon unconsciousness will be a thing of the past, chilling folklore really, stories to be told of how penises actually had minds of their own and PMS was an acronym for clinical insanity. No longer will we be able to blame our biological functions for our libidinous indiscretions. Ahhh, yes. Liberty and Justice Mother Nature’s style!! (And I would like to take this opportunity to thank those people, dead and alive, who have dedicated their lives to following their own higher consciousness in order to finally see our being human as round as the earth, not flat!)
As we sit at the precipice of personal responsibility, the corners of my mouth turn upward into a grateful and easy smile, for I can just see, really imagine for the first time what a splendid place our world will be when we rise to this occasion, letting go of what clearly no longer serves us; blatant impropriety and imprudence. We will embrace our birthright to evolve. Instead of blaming, we embrace: instead of seeking outside ourselves to create, we look within!
So what the bleep does that have to do with dating and mating like a rich person? It means my lovely, plucky, little squishy love muffins, (drum roll), that the number-one dating and mating tip of the century is that you ~ who you actually are once you have beheld and embraced the truth that you are this amazing, spectacular expression of divinity (besides, you might as well be you as everyone else is taken, my teacher always told me) ~ are the richest, most valuable asset you will ever have. With this realization, you gain access to the greatest secret of all time; that you never again have to sell yourself, nor buy another’s affection. You no longer have to prove anything to anyone in order to love or be loved. The only thing you have to do is fall in love with yourself and then serendipitously collide and choose with whom who you would like to reveal yourself to in this field of Love! Price of admission for the REAL Happily Ever After ~ FREE.
Like I always say: Great relationships begin within! For more information on how to fall in love with yourself and embrace your path of higher consciousness, get a copy of Hindsight, What You Need to Know Before You Drop Your Drawers today! www.maryannelive.com
I wish you every blessing!
To learn important innver-viewing skills, up close and personal, with Maryanne and special guest and author Eve Hogan, tune into their FREE teleseminar: http://www.maryannelive.com/register-... You'll learn how to figure out what you want, how to get it, and never waste time on a bad date/mate again!
You can see how this can add up. Then come the more personal, less-talked-about expenses: paying off CC debt for your lover, paying off school loans, mortgages, hit men, car loans, the IRS, their children (food, education, clothes, shelter). I should mention the last (but ironically not least) place we spend our cash in the name of relationship; the therapist. Oh, wait ~ did I mention how much it costs to sell your soul? Uhhh, priceless!
Wouldn’t it be nice if who you really are was your greatest calling card, versus what size bra cup you wear or how big your bank account was? Can you even imagine it? Relationship factoid~ Most relationships hit their peak at week 6, after a long game of carefully revealing and playing your cards; texting, sexting, skype-love, and deep insecurity. At some point this person is going to find out you’re inevitably human, the ultimate buzz-kill and eventual disappointing deal-breaker; unless, in the best-case scenario, you leave first.
This is your lucky millennia, people. While many people will continue to unconsciously bumble along playing relationship roulette, it doesn’t have to be this way. Studies are showing that while our senses (or lower nature, some would say) play a large role in attracting a mate, turns out self-awareness (your higher consciousness) trumps all that biological drive after all. Finally, after forever, we can now proudly claim this ability to contemplate ourselves, which is what separates us from the primates, and happily exclaim I am free at last to choose, free at last!. Soon unconsciousness will be a thing of the past, chilling folklore really, stories to be told of how penises actually had minds of their own and PMS was an acronym for clinical insanity. No longer will we be able to blame our biological functions for our libidinous indiscretions. Ahhh, yes. Liberty and Justice Mother Nature’s style!! (And I would like to take this opportunity to thank those people, dead and alive, who have dedicated their lives to following their own higher consciousness in order to finally see our being human as round as the earth, not flat!)
As we sit at the precipice of personal responsibility, the corners of my mouth turn upward into a grateful and easy smile, for I can just see, really imagine for the first time what a splendid place our world will be when we rise to this occasion, letting go of what clearly no longer serves us; blatant impropriety and imprudence. We will embrace our birthright to evolve. Instead of blaming, we embrace: instead of seeking outside ourselves to create, we look within!
So what the bleep does that have to do with dating and mating like a rich person? It means my lovely, plucky, little squishy love muffins, (drum roll), that the number-one dating and mating tip of the century is that you ~ who you actually are once you have beheld and embraced the truth that you are this amazing, spectacular expression of divinity (besides, you might as well be you as everyone else is taken, my teacher always told me) ~ are the richest, most valuable asset you will ever have. With this realization, you gain access to the greatest secret of all time; that you never again have to sell yourself, nor buy another’s affection. You no longer have to prove anything to anyone in order to love or be loved. The only thing you have to do is fall in love with yourself and then serendipitously collide and choose with whom who you would like to reveal yourself to in this field of Love! Price of admission for the REAL Happily Ever After ~ FREE.
Like I always say: Great relationships begin within! For more information on how to fall in love with yourself and embrace your path of higher consciousness, get a copy of Hindsight, What You Need to Know Before You Drop Your Drawers today! www.maryannelive.com
I wish you every blessing!
To learn important innver-viewing skills, up close and personal, with Maryanne and special guest and author Eve Hogan, tune into their FREE teleseminar: http://www.maryannelive.com/register-... You'll learn how to figure out what you want, how to get it, and never waste time on a bad date/mate again!
March 29, 2010
Help me with my new book and show me the money!
This week I want to change things up and ask you out there a few questions. I am starting a new book called Great Relationships Begin Within!®, and am doing some research, and would love your feedback!
More often than we are willing to admit we are drawn to relationship for external reasons: money, security, fear of being alone, children, validation, sex, boredom, or to avoid dealing with (or to be rescued from) another situation
I have decided to take on money first! So, if you would be so kind, if you have the courage, please answer the following questions. Do not put your name on the paper. Please identify yourself with a pen name. Example, geisha chick 10 or money pit8.
Do not, under any circumstances, lie. It serves no one—least of all, you. Answer as many or as few questions as you'd like, and return your answers to info@maryannelive.com. Thank you in advance from the bottom of my heart!!
Who controls your money?
How do you earn money?
Who gives you money, how often and why?
How much money do you have to your name right now?
How long would it take you to find out?
Why don’t you know?
Who pays your bills?
When do you pay them? Exact dates. Example: the 1st & the 15th.
How much money does it cost you, to the dollar, every month, to run your life?
How much do you make an hour?
How much are you worth?
How much money do you pay in taxes per year?
How much does your health insurance cost every month?
How much money do you spend on food every month?
How much on partying, gifts, recreation?
Travel?
How about clothes and makeup; how much do you spend every month and why?
What’s the most responsible way for you to spend and save your money each month?
Why don’t you?
How much debt do you have?
Why?
Who do you owe money to and exactly how much? (Yes, loans that friends, family, or someone you have lost touch with, made to you in good faith—even years ago—count)
How do you feel about money?
How do you feel about people who have money?
Do you wish you had more money?
Why don’t you?
What exactly are you doing about it?
Whose job do you think it is to take care of you?
Do you think people should just give you their money?
What are you willing to do in exchange for money?
Do you think rich people should pay because they have more money?
Do you think men should pay because they are men?
Do you believe money is the root of all evil?
Do you believe having more money would solve most of your problems?
Do you believe it’s hard to make money nowadays?
Do you believe your parents should give you money or continue to help you financially after you are 18 years of age? If so, why?
Do you believe people who say they love you should give you money if you have less than they do? If so, why?
Do you believe your financial situation is someone else’s fault?”
Are you good with money?
What are your parents’ beliefs about money?
Do your three closest friends have more, less, or about the same amount of money you have?
What do you wish was true about you and money?
What is your biggest fear about money?
Your biggest secret about money?
Who controls the flow of money on your life?
If it isn’t you, do you think it’s time it ought to be?
March 26, 2010
More often than we are willing to admit we are drawn to relationship for external reasons: money, security, fear of being alone, children, validation, sex, boredom, or to avoid dealing with (or to be rescued from) another situation
I have decided to take on money first! So, if you would be so kind, if you have the courage, please answer the following questions. Do not put your name on the paper. Please identify yourself with a pen name. Example, geisha chick 10 or money pit8.
Do not, under any circumstances, lie. It serves no one—least of all, you. Answer as many or as few questions as you'd like, and return your answers to info@maryannelive.com. Thank you in advance from the bottom of my heart!!
Who controls your money?
How do you earn money?
Who gives you money, how often and why?
How much money do you have to your name right now?
How long would it take you to find out?
Why don’t you know?
Who pays your bills?
When do you pay them? Exact dates. Example: the 1st & the 15th.
How much money does it cost you, to the dollar, every month, to run your life?
How much do you make an hour?
How much are you worth?
How much money do you pay in taxes per year?
How much does your health insurance cost every month?
How much money do you spend on food every month?
How much on partying, gifts, recreation?
Travel?
How about clothes and makeup; how much do you spend every month and why?
What’s the most responsible way for you to spend and save your money each month?
Why don’t you?
How much debt do you have?
Why?
Who do you owe money to and exactly how much? (Yes, loans that friends, family, or someone you have lost touch with, made to you in good faith—even years ago—count)
How do you feel about money?
How do you feel about people who have money?
Do you wish you had more money?
Why don’t you?
What exactly are you doing about it?
Whose job do you think it is to take care of you?
Do you think people should just give you their money?
What are you willing to do in exchange for money?
Do you think rich people should pay because they have more money?
Do you think men should pay because they are men?
Do you believe money is the root of all evil?
Do you believe having more money would solve most of your problems?
Do you believe it’s hard to make money nowadays?
Do you believe your parents should give you money or continue to help you financially after you are 18 years of age? If so, why?
Do you believe people who say they love you should give you money if you have less than they do? If so, why?
Do you believe your financial situation is someone else’s fault?”
Are you good with money?
What are your parents’ beliefs about money?
Do your three closest friends have more, less, or about the same amount of money you have?
What do you wish was true about you and money?
What is your biggest fear about money?
Your biggest secret about money?
Who controls the flow of money on your life?
If it isn’t you, do you think it’s time it ought to be?
March 26, 2010
March 24, 2010
Prostitute or tramp? What's the difference?
Maryanne Comaroto
We all know the chief difference between a tramp and a prostitute, right? Of course - the prostitute gets paid for what she does. But these days, the line between the two seems to be getting more and more blurry, as women who have done what used to be unspeakable, are now more than eager to sell their stories to the highest bidder, regardless of who gets hurt or what the consequences are.
To take an example from my own life: I was once engaged to a man who was already married to someone else. Indeed, the fact that he was married throughout our relationship is what ended up being the deciding factor in our breakup. And yet, during all the time we were together (several years), it never even entered my mind to pick up the phone and call the newspaper, to give them all the details they would need to ruin the lives of the victims in the situation - his wife, his family. Aside from the fact of not wanting to humiliate them, there was also the issue that I would be humiliating myself - I had done something shameful, something embarrassing, something I did not want anyone to know about. Far from alerting the press, I didn't even dare tell my closest friends what was going on. Even though I was hurting and desperate for some kind of solution to the situation, I felt I had to go through this alone.
He and I did love each other, and we told ourselves we could make it work, but in the end we both knew that we had entered into territory we shouldn't have, and that it could never have a happy ending. We were young, and we were most certainly immature. And although I am certainly grateful that I was able to learn something from that time in my life, it still makes me sad to think about what he wife had to go through.
Nowadays, there are women out there who wouldn't think twice about calling up the tabloids and reporting their sexual indiscretions to the world. Rather than hiding in shame, they come forward without even a hint of embarrassment, happy for everyone to know exactly what they did with which married man, and where, and how many times. Meanwhile, the families are left in tatters, and the reminders of shattered lives are on every tabloid front page. The recent situations with Sandra Bullock's husband and Tiger woods are good examples of how some women will do their best to bring all of womankind down with their trampy exploits.
So why has this started happening? Why has being a tramp suddenly become the new fashion? Money, of course. The tabloids pay for these stories of cheaters, and they pay well. The more women who come forward, the more of a media buzz they can create, and the more everyone profits. To make money this way, to take your income from being a tramp and advertising it... well, it's basically the new prostitution. It's hard to believe that we have come to a point in our society where it seems acceptable for a women to cash in on their tramp behavior, or to drag it all through the media for everyone to see and judge, but here we are. This is where we are now as a culture.
Is it possible to pinpoint where this trend began? Can we ever understand exactly what started causing women to think it was okay to behave this way and smear it all over the newspapers? Well, I'm certainly not going to claim I know the answer to that complicated question, but I do know one thing: we need to find a way to rebuild our self-esteem, and to find a better way to make money than to sink to this level. We've worked so hard to get where we are - let's not go any further toward destroying that progress.
To see Maryanne discussing her personal experience in this vein, view this week's video blog visit: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=odk2p3...
We all know the chief difference between a tramp and a prostitute, right? Of course - the prostitute gets paid for what she does. But these days, the line between the two seems to be getting more and more blurry, as women who have done what used to be unspeakable, are now more than eager to sell their stories to the highest bidder, regardless of who gets hurt or what the consequences are.
To take an example from my own life: I was once engaged to a man who was already married to someone else. Indeed, the fact that he was married throughout our relationship is what ended up being the deciding factor in our breakup. And yet, during all the time we were together (several years), it never even entered my mind to pick up the phone and call the newspaper, to give them all the details they would need to ruin the lives of the victims in the situation - his wife, his family. Aside from the fact of not wanting to humiliate them, there was also the issue that I would be humiliating myself - I had done something shameful, something embarrassing, something I did not want anyone to know about. Far from alerting the press, I didn't even dare tell my closest friends what was going on. Even though I was hurting and desperate for some kind of solution to the situation, I felt I had to go through this alone.
He and I did love each other, and we told ourselves we could make it work, but in the end we both knew that we had entered into territory we shouldn't have, and that it could never have a happy ending. We were young, and we were most certainly immature. And although I am certainly grateful that I was able to learn something from that time in my life, it still makes me sad to think about what he wife had to go through.
Nowadays, there are women out there who wouldn't think twice about calling up the tabloids and reporting their sexual indiscretions to the world. Rather than hiding in shame, they come forward without even a hint of embarrassment, happy for everyone to know exactly what they did with which married man, and where, and how many times. Meanwhile, the families are left in tatters, and the reminders of shattered lives are on every tabloid front page. The recent situations with Sandra Bullock's husband and Tiger woods are good examples of how some women will do their best to bring all of womankind down with their trampy exploits.
So why has this started happening? Why has being a tramp suddenly become the new fashion? Money, of course. The tabloids pay for these stories of cheaters, and they pay well. The more women who come forward, the more of a media buzz they can create, and the more everyone profits. To make money this way, to take your income from being a tramp and advertising it... well, it's basically the new prostitution. It's hard to believe that we have come to a point in our society where it seems acceptable for a women to cash in on their tramp behavior, or to drag it all through the media for everyone to see and judge, but here we are. This is where we are now as a culture.
Is it possible to pinpoint where this trend began? Can we ever understand exactly what started causing women to think it was okay to behave this way and smear it all over the newspapers? Well, I'm certainly not going to claim I know the answer to that complicated question, but I do know one thing: we need to find a way to rebuild our self-esteem, and to find a better way to make money than to sink to this level. We've worked so hard to get where we are - let's not go any further toward destroying that progress.
To see Maryanne discussing her personal experience in this vein, view this week's video blog visit: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=odk2p3...
March 17, 2010
What can we learn from Retail Hell?
We are all under added stress today, just trying to make ends meet, so many things up in the air—our health care, our kids, our job security is in question for many of us, and we are simply trying to make sure we have a roof over our heads and food on the table. That said, I have noticed a few places we where we like to vie for power or get some control in a world that currently feels more out of control than ever.
One is on the road; we might feel pretty cocky sitting behind two thousand pounds of steel yelling at someone for simply getting one car ahead of us/taking the spot that we are sure was ours/just because we are self-centered and get no respect so damn it we are going to get it in the parking lot!
Then there’s the stores. The places where customer service representatives become the sounding board for all our stuffed feelings and resentments and we are all too happy to sneer, judge, dismiss and downright treat them badly because—well, we feel bad about ourselves. I can’t tell you how many times I have wished everyone had to take a public etiquette course!
Here are some tips from my friend Freeman Hall who wrote a book called Retail Hell: Confessions of a Tortured Sales Associate. They can help you change your attitude on or off the road so we can be contributors of peace and love rather than harbingers of darkness.
1)Greet people you see either with your eyes, a smile or when a Sale Associate greets you, greet them back. Feeling welcome is a huge part of being connected to other people. A smile and hello go a long way and get you better service. A glare and silence makes the Retail Slave take note that you might just be a huge problem. They will run the other way. Take advantage of their greeting to ask a question or get help. If you don't need either, a friendly greeting will let them know you are not Scrooge and they'll be eager to assist you when the time is right.
2)If you have a question, ask the right person. Asking a Sales Associate where the wing nuts are in the Lingerie Department is bad shopping form and going to get you a blank stare and "I don't know." If there is no one in the Hardware department, a better question would be "Could you please call and get me assistance in Hardware."
3)Leave your Diva or Ruler and master of the Universe attitude at the door. Being rude and demanding gets you nowhere. Salespeople get belittled and talked down to constantly. Don't throw a tantrum when the store runs out of George Forman grills. It's not the sales associate's fault. They didn't order the merchandise.
4)Wait your turn. Yes, you have ten million errands to run, but so does everyone else. Interrupting salespeople while they are on the phone or helping other customers because you want to be waited on immediately is a sure-fire way to get bad service. They will purposely go slow and ignore you. Be patient. They know you are there and they will get to you. The nicer you are, the more they will attempt to either get you help or help you while waiting on others.
5)Don't go shopping in a rush. If you have to be somewhere in 15 minutes and you pull into the mall on December 23rd, get ready for some Retail Hell. Save yourself stress and aggravation by not having time constraints. You may get in and out, and you may not. Stores work hard to staff, but sometimes the Law of Retail Hell Gravity hits and everyone wants to be rung up at the same time.
To see more of Maryanne talking with hilarious Freeman Hall, check out her interview on MaryanneLive: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2HaUHV...
One is on the road; we might feel pretty cocky sitting behind two thousand pounds of steel yelling at someone for simply getting one car ahead of us/taking the spot that we are sure was ours/just because we are self-centered and get no respect so damn it we are going to get it in the parking lot!
Then there’s the stores. The places where customer service representatives become the sounding board for all our stuffed feelings and resentments and we are all too happy to sneer, judge, dismiss and downright treat them badly because—well, we feel bad about ourselves. I can’t tell you how many times I have wished everyone had to take a public etiquette course!
Here are some tips from my friend Freeman Hall who wrote a book called Retail Hell: Confessions of a Tortured Sales Associate. They can help you change your attitude on or off the road so we can be contributors of peace and love rather than harbingers of darkness.
1)Greet people you see either with your eyes, a smile or when a Sale Associate greets you, greet them back. Feeling welcome is a huge part of being connected to other people. A smile and hello go a long way and get you better service. A glare and silence makes the Retail Slave take note that you might just be a huge problem. They will run the other way. Take advantage of their greeting to ask a question or get help. If you don't need either, a friendly greeting will let them know you are not Scrooge and they'll be eager to assist you when the time is right.
2)If you have a question, ask the right person. Asking a Sales Associate where the wing nuts are in the Lingerie Department is bad shopping form and going to get you a blank stare and "I don't know." If there is no one in the Hardware department, a better question would be "Could you please call and get me assistance in Hardware."
3)Leave your Diva or Ruler and master of the Universe attitude at the door. Being rude and demanding gets you nowhere. Salespeople get belittled and talked down to constantly. Don't throw a tantrum when the store runs out of George Forman grills. It's not the sales associate's fault. They didn't order the merchandise.
4)Wait your turn. Yes, you have ten million errands to run, but so does everyone else. Interrupting salespeople while they are on the phone or helping other customers because you want to be waited on immediately is a sure-fire way to get bad service. They will purposely go slow and ignore you. Be patient. They know you are there and they will get to you. The nicer you are, the more they will attempt to either get you help or help you while waiting on others.
5)Don't go shopping in a rush. If you have to be somewhere in 15 minutes and you pull into the mall on December 23rd, get ready for some Retail Hell. Save yourself stress and aggravation by not having time constraints. You may get in and out, and you may not. Stores work hard to staff, but sometimes the Law of Retail Hell Gravity hits and everyone wants to be rung up at the same time.
To see more of Maryanne talking with hilarious Freeman Hall, check out her interview on MaryanneLive: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2HaUHV...
March 10, 2010
The wolf you choose to feed
It's a story I see pop up from time to time: that of the dark wolf and the white wolf. There was a dark wolf that grew strong from a diet of fear, jealousy, dishonesty, and anger. The white wolf could only grow from love, truth, generosity, and and compassion. The two wolves had been fighting constantly since time immemorial.
There was a Shaman who used to tell stories of the battles of the two wolves. He would sit amongst the children and tell them these tales, much to their delight. They always wanted to know which wolf would prevail in the end, and the Shaman always said the same thing: "whichever wolf you feed will be the one that wins." And so it is within each of us, making the choice to feed one wolf instead of the other.
I was reminded of this choice very recently, when I woke up yesterday morning. Usually, upon waking I take a few moments to center myself. I think back over my dreams from the previous night, I consider how I'm feeling both physically and mentally, and I check in with my husband to see how he slept and how he is doing.
But yesterday we had to be at the airport for an early flight, and I was more concerned with getting there on time than I was with any morning rituals. I skipped over my usual gratitude and started thinking about the weather. We'd had some pretty heavy rain, with more on the way, and I wondered if it would delay our flight. While I got ready to go, I started thinking about our plane disappearing into the storm, never to be heard from again.
As it turned out, the flight boarded as scheduled. No delays. I thought this was a good sign, and I tried to make myself feel better as I cycled through my anxious thoughts. God would not take both you and David out of this world at the same time, I thought with a little relief. And anyway, you've already known two people who died in airplane accidents, so what would be the chance that it could happen to you, too?
With that concern taken care of, I started to worry about the possibility that terrorists might be on the plane, but I stopped myself mid-thought. I told myself with gentle firmness to stop this crazy line of thinking. After all, I have these same thoughts every time I fly, and no matter how many warning signs of disaster I imagine, nothing ever happens.
It's good that I can get these things in check. It's not like I'm going to avoid flying, and I'm certainly not going to waste my time trying to ascertain who is and isn't a terrorist. I reminded myself that the great Divine is all around us and within each of us, and our spirits are so much bigger than we are. I'm here on a mission, I have a purpose, and when my time comes, then it comes. End of story. This made me breathe a sigh of relief, and I sat back happy to have heard the truth from myself.
I have certainly come a long way. These days, I can sit on a plane journey and calmly reflect how much progress I've made in my psychological state. It was a long road back to wellness, after crippling anxiety disorders kept me not only from stepping on an airplane, but even from leaving my home. It's amazing how good I feel about where I am now, but we should never forget to feed that white wolf. It's a lesson worth remembering.
Are you letting fear into your life? Take a minute to meditate – everyone has time if you multitask! Maryanne shows us how in this week's video blog: http://bit.ly/d3mtuP. And catch Maryanne at the Oscars talking with Project Runway stars, Star Trek actresses, Tara Reid and more: http://youtube.com/maryannelive11
There was a Shaman who used to tell stories of the battles of the two wolves. He would sit amongst the children and tell them these tales, much to their delight. They always wanted to know which wolf would prevail in the end, and the Shaman always said the same thing: "whichever wolf you feed will be the one that wins." And so it is within each of us, making the choice to feed one wolf instead of the other.
I was reminded of this choice very recently, when I woke up yesterday morning. Usually, upon waking I take a few moments to center myself. I think back over my dreams from the previous night, I consider how I'm feeling both physically and mentally, and I check in with my husband to see how he slept and how he is doing.
But yesterday we had to be at the airport for an early flight, and I was more concerned with getting there on time than I was with any morning rituals. I skipped over my usual gratitude and started thinking about the weather. We'd had some pretty heavy rain, with more on the way, and I wondered if it would delay our flight. While I got ready to go, I started thinking about our plane disappearing into the storm, never to be heard from again.
As it turned out, the flight boarded as scheduled. No delays. I thought this was a good sign, and I tried to make myself feel better as I cycled through my anxious thoughts. God would not take both you and David out of this world at the same time, I thought with a little relief. And anyway, you've already known two people who died in airplane accidents, so what would be the chance that it could happen to you, too?
With that concern taken care of, I started to worry about the possibility that terrorists might be on the plane, but I stopped myself mid-thought. I told myself with gentle firmness to stop this crazy line of thinking. After all, I have these same thoughts every time I fly, and no matter how many warning signs of disaster I imagine, nothing ever happens.
It's good that I can get these things in check. It's not like I'm going to avoid flying, and I'm certainly not going to waste my time trying to ascertain who is and isn't a terrorist. I reminded myself that the great Divine is all around us and within each of us, and our spirits are so much bigger than we are. I'm here on a mission, I have a purpose, and when my time comes, then it comes. End of story. This made me breathe a sigh of relief, and I sat back happy to have heard the truth from myself.
I have certainly come a long way. These days, I can sit on a plane journey and calmly reflect how much progress I've made in my psychological state. It was a long road back to wellness, after crippling anxiety disorders kept me not only from stepping on an airplane, but even from leaving my home. It's amazing how good I feel about where I am now, but we should never forget to feed that white wolf. It's a lesson worth remembering.
Are you letting fear into your life? Take a minute to meditate – everyone has time if you multitask! Maryanne shows us how in this week's video blog: http://bit.ly/d3mtuP. And catch Maryanne at the Oscars talking with Project Runway stars, Star Trek actresses, Tara Reid and more: http://youtube.com/maryannelive11
March 4, 2010
Time for spring cleaning?
I hear fire engines roaring through the valley where I live. I feel the sense of survival rush through my body and privately hope the rescue crew gets to whoever needs them in time. I send my ritual blessing into the ethers and then randomly wonder why sometimes it takes a crisis for us to wake up, to really Carpe Diem. Then I look around at my desk, which today looks more like a kid’s cubby, at all the paraphernalia that collectively say what is most important to me. The contrasting thoughts seem significant. A representation of what I love most, what is of ultimate importance is right in front of me; love letters, notes and cards given to me by family and friends, numerous pictures of the people I cherish, a heart-shaped dish filled with angel cards, a blessing medallion blessed by Mother Theresa, my pocket astrologer, a child’s rosary, a crystal angel, a mini-Buddha and some chocolates.
Still, like today, I can easily look right through it all, losing my focus on what’s most dear, and wander off my path. The difference is, today those dramatic wake-up sirens come less frequently due to my vigilant pursuit and strong desire to stay awake. I am so grateful.
It wasn’t always the case, which is probably why it feels so jarring, so personal, when I hear the eerily familiar screech. I know what it feels like to have those gargantuan, unwanted interruptions forcing me to depart from my comfortable cocoon of “business as usual, chop wood carry water” slumber to what’s most important—always ultimately reminding me of how fragile and precious life is. Each instance offering an unmistakable, clarity, highlighting what’s most important, if only temporarily.
However intermittent, overall each one of my own “wake up” calls has ultimately changed the way I live my life, and are now benchmarks and guideposts for how and why to stay awake on my own path. For example, if lower back pain flares it’s a reminder for me to slow down today instead of a reason to kvetch or feel sorry for myself or think, Oh, I am getting older. When something I want to happen doesn’t, I say “Ok, this or something better is coming,” vs. feeling incompetent or that I have done something wrong or God is punishing me.
When my father died suddenly from a heart attack at age 63 I realized that I don’t ever have to put off loving someone, no matter what they have done to me, rather than waiting for them to wake up and see the light (as I, unfortunately for us both, did—hoping to punish him for not loving me the way I wanted him to).
I sometimes wish it was easier to stay awake and present to what is most important, and that I didn’t have to re-apply every day. Which reminds me of a Zen story. All the masters of all time get together to decide on where to hide the Key of Life. One master says, “I know; the highest mountain top in the world.” “Oh no, no, they will surely look there.” Another says “I know, on the ocean floor!” “Oh no, no, they will certainly find it there.” Finally, after exhausting every clever idea, one master stands and says, “I know of a place these humans will never ever look—inside themselves,” and so they agreed to place the key there. And so it is. Until next time. Blessings!
<3 maryanne
https://www.maryannelive.com
Still, like today, I can easily look right through it all, losing my focus on what’s most dear, and wander off my path. The difference is, today those dramatic wake-up sirens come less frequently due to my vigilant pursuit and strong desire to stay awake. I am so grateful.
It wasn’t always the case, which is probably why it feels so jarring, so personal, when I hear the eerily familiar screech. I know what it feels like to have those gargantuan, unwanted interruptions forcing me to depart from my comfortable cocoon of “business as usual, chop wood carry water” slumber to what’s most important—always ultimately reminding me of how fragile and precious life is. Each instance offering an unmistakable, clarity, highlighting what’s most important, if only temporarily.
However intermittent, overall each one of my own “wake up” calls has ultimately changed the way I live my life, and are now benchmarks and guideposts for how and why to stay awake on my own path. For example, if lower back pain flares it’s a reminder for me to slow down today instead of a reason to kvetch or feel sorry for myself or think, Oh, I am getting older. When something I want to happen doesn’t, I say “Ok, this or something better is coming,” vs. feeling incompetent or that I have done something wrong or God is punishing me.
When my father died suddenly from a heart attack at age 63 I realized that I don’t ever have to put off loving someone, no matter what they have done to me, rather than waiting for them to wake up and see the light (as I, unfortunately for us both, did—hoping to punish him for not loving me the way I wanted him to).
I sometimes wish it was easier to stay awake and present to what is most important, and that I didn’t have to re-apply every day. Which reminds me of a Zen story. All the masters of all time get together to decide on where to hide the Key of Life. One master says, “I know; the highest mountain top in the world.” “Oh no, no, they will surely look there.” Another says “I know, on the ocean floor!” “Oh no, no, they will certainly find it there.” Finally, after exhausting every clever idea, one master stands and says, “I know of a place these humans will never ever look—inside themselves,” and so they agreed to place the key there. And so it is. Until next time. Blessings!
<3 maryanne
https://www.maryannelive.com
February 26, 2010
Are monkeys more sexually evolved than we are?
Listener Question: Tell me, why does dropping one’s drawers have to be the line of demarcation? Is that really the point of no return? If so, then why do you consider it as such? My studies of aboriginal Polynesian societies have led me to delve into customs of touching in other nearly nude societies, including those of primates, with whom we share 98% of our DNA. These societies have no drawers to drop, yet raised peaceful, sexually wise kids.
Maryanne Answer: Good question: what about dropping one’s drawers creates such a hard line?
I believe it was Ted Bundy, one of the most notorious Mr. Wrongs of our time, who said, as long as we have pornography men will continue to victimize and harm women. This might explain why we do not live in a naked, leaf-eating, peaceful, sexually wise culture. IT’S NOT SAFE FOR WOMEN—yet. And while the Aboriginals may be sexually more evolved, they currently do not have access to all our forms of soul-sucking, spirit-killing, de-humanizing programming.
In the meantime, I realized if we put that 2% of genetic difference to work we might be able to counter the overwhelming amount of suffering men and women experience in relationship. I saw a corollary between pausing prior to drawer droppage to consider, at length, its consequences, and the aforementioned suffering. That if we just waited a little longer before we succumb to this impulse, we had a greater likelihood of creating healthy, fulfilling, sustainable relationship.
Somehow, it doesn’t seem likely the FDA will attach a human sexuality instruction manual to our bodies that reads like a prescription warning label. “WARNING, may be HAZARDOUS TO YOUR HEALTH if taken internally. Do not drink ALCOHOL while handling, may cause heart palpitations, intense longing, dizziness, trouble concentrating, financial hemorrhaging, loss of memory, pregnancy and, in some cases, death. Consult your doctor if any of these symptoms persist.”
I wrote Hindsight, What You Need to Know Before You Drop Your Drawers, instead, hoping to inspire an alternate impulse—to pause (not paws). To globally build our collective conscious imperative to delay our gratification, for the sake of man (and woman) kind. To build our global muscle that has atrophied in the wake of our fast-food mentality, and resurrect the ultimate truth that there is freedom in discipline, that the mind is a wonderful servant but a terrible master. To use that 2% for everything it’s worth so that maybe someday, sooner rather than later, our priorities will change and we will value and hold in unison that which is naturally sacred before we all cross the point of no return.
But before we race off to transform ourselves, just because we can, let’s make an important distinction between humans and primates. While there may be only a 2% genetic difference between monkeys and men, it is our ability to consider whether or not we ever “drop our drawers” which makes all the difference in the world. That said, we all need role models from time to time; why not an ape or an aboriginal? So let’s not look a gift horse (or any other animal, tribe, or alien) in the mouth, and take good relationship modeling where we can get it! If there is something to be learned from our furry or our scantily clad friends, if they can help us better determine optimal drawer droppage in this time/space continuum, far be it for me to stand in the way of such monkey business!
<3 maryanne
https://www.maryannelive.com
Maryanne Answer: Good question: what about dropping one’s drawers creates such a hard line?
I believe it was Ted Bundy, one of the most notorious Mr. Wrongs of our time, who said, as long as we have pornography men will continue to victimize and harm women. This might explain why we do not live in a naked, leaf-eating, peaceful, sexually wise culture. IT’S NOT SAFE FOR WOMEN—yet. And while the Aboriginals may be sexually more evolved, they currently do not have access to all our forms of soul-sucking, spirit-killing, de-humanizing programming.
In the meantime, I realized if we put that 2% of genetic difference to work we might be able to counter the overwhelming amount of suffering men and women experience in relationship. I saw a corollary between pausing prior to drawer droppage to consider, at length, its consequences, and the aforementioned suffering. That if we just waited a little longer before we succumb to this impulse, we had a greater likelihood of creating healthy, fulfilling, sustainable relationship.
Somehow, it doesn’t seem likely the FDA will attach a human sexuality instruction manual to our bodies that reads like a prescription warning label. “WARNING, may be HAZARDOUS TO YOUR HEALTH if taken internally. Do not drink ALCOHOL while handling, may cause heart palpitations, intense longing, dizziness, trouble concentrating, financial hemorrhaging, loss of memory, pregnancy and, in some cases, death. Consult your doctor if any of these symptoms persist.”
I wrote Hindsight, What You Need to Know Before You Drop Your Drawers, instead, hoping to inspire an alternate impulse—to pause (not paws). To globally build our collective conscious imperative to delay our gratification, for the sake of man (and woman) kind. To build our global muscle that has atrophied in the wake of our fast-food mentality, and resurrect the ultimate truth that there is freedom in discipline, that the mind is a wonderful servant but a terrible master. To use that 2% for everything it’s worth so that maybe someday, sooner rather than later, our priorities will change and we will value and hold in unison that which is naturally sacred before we all cross the point of no return.
But before we race off to transform ourselves, just because we can, let’s make an important distinction between humans and primates. While there may be only a 2% genetic difference between monkeys and men, it is our ability to consider whether or not we ever “drop our drawers” which makes all the difference in the world. That said, we all need role models from time to time; why not an ape or an aboriginal? So let’s not look a gift horse (or any other animal, tribe, or alien) in the mouth, and take good relationship modeling where we can get it! If there is something to be learned from our furry or our scantily clad friends, if they can help us better determine optimal drawer droppage in this time/space continuum, far be it for me to stand in the way of such monkey business!
<3 maryanne
https://www.maryannelive.com
February 17, 2010
Hot and Hormonal, Seeking Trade
Q~ I’m a fifty-something, single, looking to get back out in the dating world. I am not thrilled with the idea of online dating but realize when it comes to the law of attraction, I need to get the ball rolling. The problem is, I am not feeling as marketable as I was in my thirties and forties, never mind my hormones are raging like a teenager—except now, instead of blooming, it seems I am about to lose my blossom. Any suggestions on how to attract a great mate?
A~ I can see the both dilemmas: how do you compete with your own shadow and attract a great partner when you don’t feel exactly on top of your game, and how can you be honest about who you are without focusing exclusively on the negative. This is indeed a delicate balancing act. You don’t want to do what so many of us have, and out-and-out lie or minimize some major themes in your life.
Let’s start from a bigger picture: while you may be experiencing great discomfort as you pass through (and up and down and all around) menopause, it’s true that this is a phase, a transient time, just as each day is. Besides, we are so much more than any one aspect of what we experience in any given time, day, phase, moment. It’s a matter of where we focus our attention. I have heard from some experts that menopause can be one of the most magical, mystical times in a woman’s life. The other big-picture thing to realize is that there is nothing to be ashamed of as we traverse each crevice of the human experience, and you can bet your partner is try to fend off his share of the inevitable himself. Essentially we are all in the same boat, and none of us are getting out alive or unscathed!
So, let’s embrace what is, re-frame some and look for the humor in all of it! For example, when we reach midlife most of us are wiser, more compassionate, better lovers, more tolerant, more available, and more confident, and so on.
I recommend you lead with what you are most afraid of; in this case, your age and that you’re moving through menopause, etc. When we embrace what we are afraid of the demon disappears, and anyway it’s what’s real—and this is real life, after all. You want a partner who shares this same reality. Plus you won’t have to worry about breaking the news later. How about something like this for an ad:
Fifty-something seeking real life partner for a trade. Must love camping, vigorous exercise, or have grown up in a big family. Patience would be a good quality to have, as well as the ability to delay gratification, saving the best for last—i.e., a calmer version of me post-menopause! In the meantime, must either play golf because it is among my favorite pastimes! You like movies, good food and wine, and love to laugh. In exchange, I am willing to love and respect your stage of life because I know that no matter what life has handed you, your spirit is intact, your kindness is king, and you are seeking a partnership rather than a pit stop as we face the next millennia . I look forward to learning more about you, your passions, and the journey and the peaceful, joy-filled adventure we will create together!
Good luck and like my dear friend Kris Carlson would say: Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff!!
<3 Maryanne
http://maryannelive.com
A~ I can see the both dilemmas: how do you compete with your own shadow and attract a great partner when you don’t feel exactly on top of your game, and how can you be honest about who you are without focusing exclusively on the negative. This is indeed a delicate balancing act. You don’t want to do what so many of us have, and out-and-out lie or minimize some major themes in your life.
Let’s start from a bigger picture: while you may be experiencing great discomfort as you pass through (and up and down and all around) menopause, it’s true that this is a phase, a transient time, just as each day is. Besides, we are so much more than any one aspect of what we experience in any given time, day, phase, moment. It’s a matter of where we focus our attention. I have heard from some experts that menopause can be one of the most magical, mystical times in a woman’s life. The other big-picture thing to realize is that there is nothing to be ashamed of as we traverse each crevice of the human experience, and you can bet your partner is try to fend off his share of the inevitable himself. Essentially we are all in the same boat, and none of us are getting out alive or unscathed!
So, let’s embrace what is, re-frame some and look for the humor in all of it! For example, when we reach midlife most of us are wiser, more compassionate, better lovers, more tolerant, more available, and more confident, and so on.
I recommend you lead with what you are most afraid of; in this case, your age and that you’re moving through menopause, etc. When we embrace what we are afraid of the demon disappears, and anyway it’s what’s real—and this is real life, after all. You want a partner who shares this same reality. Plus you won’t have to worry about breaking the news later. How about something like this for an ad:
Fifty-something seeking real life partner for a trade. Must love camping, vigorous exercise, or have grown up in a big family. Patience would be a good quality to have, as well as the ability to delay gratification, saving the best for last—i.e., a calmer version of me post-menopause! In the meantime, must either play golf because it is among my favorite pastimes! You like movies, good food and wine, and love to laugh. In exchange, I am willing to love and respect your stage of life because I know that no matter what life has handed you, your spirit is intact, your kindness is king, and you are seeking a partnership rather than a pit stop as we face the next millennia . I look forward to learning more about you, your passions, and the journey and the peaceful, joy-filled adventure we will create together!
Good luck and like my dear friend Kris Carlson would say: Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff!!
<3 Maryanne
http://maryannelive.com
February 9, 2010
Single on Valentine's Day?
A reporter asked me to help him with his column the other day, and his first question was: “Valentine’s Day is coming up. But where can you meet someone if you’re single?”
I replied, “That's like asking me where to go eat when you're hungry. First you need to tell me what you like, what you are hungry for? I certainly wouldn't want to send you to a seafood restaurant if you can’t stand fish! As elementary as it sounds, we need to make this distinction and move away from the one-size-fits-all relationship mentality. If you just want to meet "someone" you can go to a restaurant or bar. I can name a half a dozen singles haunts off the top of my head.
“But if you’re talking about meeting the right someone for you, then you need to invest some more time and effort. Otherwise you'll have to kiss a lot of toads, or just cross your fingers and hope you get lucky. An alternative is, get real clear on what you want. Real clear. And then go where you think those kinds of people hang out. The funny thing is, that when we set that strong an intention you almost don't have to do anything! Life responds to strong desires that are maintained over time. Or you can do both, get out there in the flow of like-minded folks and let a little elbow grease & serendipity lend a hand! As you like it.”
Then he wanted tips for singles to cope with Valentine's Day. “Valentine’s Day can go down two ways, as a day to be coped with or to be celebrated, just like anything in life. You can take it half empty or half full. Seriously, why wait for chocolates and flowers? Send ‘em to yourself. Go have that massage, or stay home, light a fire, read poetry aloud, start a bubble bath. Here's the deal: life will treat you EXACTLY how you treat yourself. So dive in and use Valentine’s Day as an opportunity to love yourself! I promise, if you do this with real sincerity, you won’t be alone for long.
Where are the hot spots to meet people for romance these days, he wondered?
“Again, it’s not about some special place: there's nothing out there if you really want to know the truth, only an exact reflection of what inside of you right now. For example, I met my husband in my dream, eight years before I ever met in him real life, name and all! So stop, take care to know who you are, what you want and then simply focus on that. Okay, you likely will have to leave your home, but not before you are prepared. Remember what are you hungry for? Unless you’re not picky; then see above restaurant list.
You don’t want more of what you've already had; disappointment and failure, right? If you think you're ready, just go, go out to places that make you happy and do things you love that are in alignment with your real self.
“To recap: look within, find out who you are and what you want, then go out there and do what you love!”
Any more questions? Email us at info@maryannlive.com and we’ll answer them on the air every Tuesday morning from 10-11 am on www.healthylife.net.
To find out if you're looking for Mr. Right or Mr. Right Now, watch Maryanne's video on the subject: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TUYE9-...
I replied, “That's like asking me where to go eat when you're hungry. First you need to tell me what you like, what you are hungry for? I certainly wouldn't want to send you to a seafood restaurant if you can’t stand fish! As elementary as it sounds, we need to make this distinction and move away from the one-size-fits-all relationship mentality. If you just want to meet "someone" you can go to a restaurant or bar. I can name a half a dozen singles haunts off the top of my head.
“But if you’re talking about meeting the right someone for you, then you need to invest some more time and effort. Otherwise you'll have to kiss a lot of toads, or just cross your fingers and hope you get lucky. An alternative is, get real clear on what you want. Real clear. And then go where you think those kinds of people hang out. The funny thing is, that when we set that strong an intention you almost don't have to do anything! Life responds to strong desires that are maintained over time. Or you can do both, get out there in the flow of like-minded folks and let a little elbow grease & serendipity lend a hand! As you like it.”
Then he wanted tips for singles to cope with Valentine's Day. “Valentine’s Day can go down two ways, as a day to be coped with or to be celebrated, just like anything in life. You can take it half empty or half full. Seriously, why wait for chocolates and flowers? Send ‘em to yourself. Go have that massage, or stay home, light a fire, read poetry aloud, start a bubble bath. Here's the deal: life will treat you EXACTLY how you treat yourself. So dive in and use Valentine’s Day as an opportunity to love yourself! I promise, if you do this with real sincerity, you won’t be alone for long.
Where are the hot spots to meet people for romance these days, he wondered?
“Again, it’s not about some special place: there's nothing out there if you really want to know the truth, only an exact reflection of what inside of you right now. For example, I met my husband in my dream, eight years before I ever met in him real life, name and all! So stop, take care to know who you are, what you want and then simply focus on that. Okay, you likely will have to leave your home, but not before you are prepared. Remember what are you hungry for? Unless you’re not picky; then see above restaurant list.
You don’t want more of what you've already had; disappointment and failure, right? If you think you're ready, just go, go out to places that make you happy and do things you love that are in alignment with your real self.
“To recap: look within, find out who you are and what you want, then go out there and do what you love!”
Any more questions? Email us at info@maryannlive.com and we’ll answer them on the air every Tuesday morning from 10-11 am on www.healthylife.net.
To find out if you're looking for Mr. Right or Mr. Right Now, watch Maryanne's video on the subject: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TUYE9-...
