Maryanne Comaroto's Blog - Posts Tagged "spring-cleaning"
Time for spring cleaning?
I hear fire engines roaring through the valley where I live. I feel the sense of survival rush through my body and privately hope the rescue crew gets to whoever needs them in time. I send my ritual blessing into the ethers and then randomly wonder why sometimes it takes a crisis for us to wake up, to really Carpe Diem. Then I look around at my desk, which today looks more like a kid’s cubby, at all the paraphernalia that collectively say what is most important to me. The contrasting thoughts seem significant. A representation of what I love most, what is of ultimate importance is right in front of me; love letters, notes and cards given to me by family and friends, numerous pictures of the people I cherish, a heart-shaped dish filled with angel cards, a blessing medallion blessed by Mother Theresa, my pocket astrologer, a child’s rosary, a crystal angel, a mini-Buddha and some chocolates.
Still, like today, I can easily look right through it all, losing my focus on what’s most dear, and wander off my path. The difference is, today those dramatic wake-up sirens come less frequently due to my vigilant pursuit and strong desire to stay awake. I am so grateful.
It wasn’t always the case, which is probably why it feels so jarring, so personal, when I hear the eerily familiar screech. I know what it feels like to have those gargantuan, unwanted interruptions forcing me to depart from my comfortable cocoon of “business as usual, chop wood carry water” slumber to what’s most important—always ultimately reminding me of how fragile and precious life is. Each instance offering an unmistakable, clarity, highlighting what’s most important, if only temporarily.
However intermittent, overall each one of my own “wake up” calls has ultimately changed the way I live my life, and are now benchmarks and guideposts for how and why to stay awake on my own path. For example, if lower back pain flares it’s a reminder for me to slow down today instead of a reason to kvetch or feel sorry for myself or think, Oh, I am getting older. When something I want to happen doesn’t, I say “Ok, this or something better is coming,” vs. feeling incompetent or that I have done something wrong or God is punishing me.
When my father died suddenly from a heart attack at age 63 I realized that I don’t ever have to put off loving someone, no matter what they have done to me, rather than waiting for them to wake up and see the light (as I, unfortunately for us both, did—hoping to punish him for not loving me the way I wanted him to).
I sometimes wish it was easier to stay awake and present to what is most important, and that I didn’t have to re-apply every day. Which reminds me of a Zen story. All the masters of all time get together to decide on where to hide the Key of Life. One master says, “I know; the highest mountain top in the world.” “Oh no, no, they will surely look there.” Another says “I know, on the ocean floor!” “Oh no, no, they will certainly find it there.” Finally, after exhausting every clever idea, one master stands and says, “I know of a place these humans will never ever look—inside themselves,” and so they agreed to place the key there. And so it is. Until next time. Blessings!
<3 maryanne
https://www.maryannelive.com
Still, like today, I can easily look right through it all, losing my focus on what’s most dear, and wander off my path. The difference is, today those dramatic wake-up sirens come less frequently due to my vigilant pursuit and strong desire to stay awake. I am so grateful.
It wasn’t always the case, which is probably why it feels so jarring, so personal, when I hear the eerily familiar screech. I know what it feels like to have those gargantuan, unwanted interruptions forcing me to depart from my comfortable cocoon of “business as usual, chop wood carry water” slumber to what’s most important—always ultimately reminding me of how fragile and precious life is. Each instance offering an unmistakable, clarity, highlighting what’s most important, if only temporarily.
However intermittent, overall each one of my own “wake up” calls has ultimately changed the way I live my life, and are now benchmarks and guideposts for how and why to stay awake on my own path. For example, if lower back pain flares it’s a reminder for me to slow down today instead of a reason to kvetch or feel sorry for myself or think, Oh, I am getting older. When something I want to happen doesn’t, I say “Ok, this or something better is coming,” vs. feeling incompetent or that I have done something wrong or God is punishing me.
When my father died suddenly from a heart attack at age 63 I realized that I don’t ever have to put off loving someone, no matter what they have done to me, rather than waiting for them to wake up and see the light (as I, unfortunately for us both, did—hoping to punish him for not loving me the way I wanted him to).
I sometimes wish it was easier to stay awake and present to what is most important, and that I didn’t have to re-apply every day. Which reminds me of a Zen story. All the masters of all time get together to decide on where to hide the Key of Life. One master says, “I know; the highest mountain top in the world.” “Oh no, no, they will surely look there.” Another says “I know, on the ocean floor!” “Oh no, no, they will certainly find it there.” Finally, after exhausting every clever idea, one master stands and says, “I know of a place these humans will never ever look—inside themselves,” and so they agreed to place the key there. And so it is. Until next time. Blessings!
<3 maryanne
https://www.maryannelive.com
The wolf you choose to feed
It's a story I see pop up from time to time: that of the dark wolf and the white wolf. There was a dark wolf that grew strong from a diet of fear, jealousy, dishonesty, and anger. The white wolf could only grow from love, truth, generosity, and and compassion. The two wolves had been fighting constantly since time immemorial.
There was a Shaman who used to tell stories of the battles of the two wolves. He would sit amongst the children and tell them these tales, much to their delight. They always wanted to know which wolf would prevail in the end, and the Shaman always said the same thing: "whichever wolf you feed will be the one that wins." And so it is within each of us, making the choice to feed one wolf instead of the other.
I was reminded of this choice very recently, when I woke up yesterday morning. Usually, upon waking I take a few moments to center myself. I think back over my dreams from the previous night, I consider how I'm feeling both physically and mentally, and I check in with my husband to see how he slept and how he is doing.
But yesterday we had to be at the airport for an early flight, and I was more concerned with getting there on time than I was with any morning rituals. I skipped over my usual gratitude and started thinking about the weather. We'd had some pretty heavy rain, with more on the way, and I wondered if it would delay our flight. While I got ready to go, I started thinking about our plane disappearing into the storm, never to be heard from again.
As it turned out, the flight boarded as scheduled. No delays. I thought this was a good sign, and I tried to make myself feel better as I cycled through my anxious thoughts. God would not take both you and David out of this world at the same time, I thought with a little relief. And anyway, you've already known two people who died in airplane accidents, so what would be the chance that it could happen to you, too?
With that concern taken care of, I started to worry about the possibility that terrorists might be on the plane, but I stopped myself mid-thought. I told myself with gentle firmness to stop this crazy line of thinking. After all, I have these same thoughts every time I fly, and no matter how many warning signs of disaster I imagine, nothing ever happens.
It's good that I can get these things in check. It's not like I'm going to avoid flying, and I'm certainly not going to waste my time trying to ascertain who is and isn't a terrorist. I reminded myself that the great Divine is all around us and within each of us, and our spirits are so much bigger than we are. I'm here on a mission, I have a purpose, and when my time comes, then it comes. End of story. This made me breathe a sigh of relief, and I sat back happy to have heard the truth from myself.
I have certainly come a long way. These days, I can sit on a plane journey and calmly reflect how much progress I've made in my psychological state. It was a long road back to wellness, after crippling anxiety disorders kept me not only from stepping on an airplane, but even from leaving my home. It's amazing how good I feel about where I am now, but we should never forget to feed that white wolf. It's a lesson worth remembering.
Are you letting fear into your life? Take a minute to meditate – everyone has time if you multitask! Maryanne shows us how in this week's video blog: http://bit.ly/d3mtuP. And catch Maryanne at the Oscars talking with Project Runway stars, Star Trek actresses, Tara Reid and more: http://youtube.com/maryannelive11
There was a Shaman who used to tell stories of the battles of the two wolves. He would sit amongst the children and tell them these tales, much to their delight. They always wanted to know which wolf would prevail in the end, and the Shaman always said the same thing: "whichever wolf you feed will be the one that wins." And so it is within each of us, making the choice to feed one wolf instead of the other.
I was reminded of this choice very recently, when I woke up yesterday morning. Usually, upon waking I take a few moments to center myself. I think back over my dreams from the previous night, I consider how I'm feeling both physically and mentally, and I check in with my husband to see how he slept and how he is doing.
But yesterday we had to be at the airport for an early flight, and I was more concerned with getting there on time than I was with any morning rituals. I skipped over my usual gratitude and started thinking about the weather. We'd had some pretty heavy rain, with more on the way, and I wondered if it would delay our flight. While I got ready to go, I started thinking about our plane disappearing into the storm, never to be heard from again.
As it turned out, the flight boarded as scheduled. No delays. I thought this was a good sign, and I tried to make myself feel better as I cycled through my anxious thoughts. God would not take both you and David out of this world at the same time, I thought with a little relief. And anyway, you've already known two people who died in airplane accidents, so what would be the chance that it could happen to you, too?
With that concern taken care of, I started to worry about the possibility that terrorists might be on the plane, but I stopped myself mid-thought. I told myself with gentle firmness to stop this crazy line of thinking. After all, I have these same thoughts every time I fly, and no matter how many warning signs of disaster I imagine, nothing ever happens.
It's good that I can get these things in check. It's not like I'm going to avoid flying, and I'm certainly not going to waste my time trying to ascertain who is and isn't a terrorist. I reminded myself that the great Divine is all around us and within each of us, and our spirits are so much bigger than we are. I'm here on a mission, I have a purpose, and when my time comes, then it comes. End of story. This made me breathe a sigh of relief, and I sat back happy to have heard the truth from myself.
I have certainly come a long way. These days, I can sit on a plane journey and calmly reflect how much progress I've made in my psychological state. It was a long road back to wellness, after crippling anxiety disorders kept me not only from stepping on an airplane, but even from leaving my home. It's amazing how good I feel about where I am now, but we should never forget to feed that white wolf. It's a lesson worth remembering.
Are you letting fear into your life? Take a minute to meditate – everyone has time if you multitask! Maryanne shows us how in this week's video blog: http://bit.ly/d3mtuP. And catch Maryanne at the Oscars talking with Project Runway stars, Star Trek actresses, Tara Reid and more: http://youtube.com/maryannelive11
