Exponent II's Blog, page 32
February 26, 2025
Whose Needs Matter Most? What is Fair?
“Moral talk is often rather repugnant. Leveling moral accusations, expressing moral indignation, passing moral judgement, allotting the blame, administering moral reproof, justifying oneself, and, above all, moralizing- who can enjoy such talk? And who can like or trust those addicted to it? The most outspoken critics of their neighbors’ morals are usually [people] who wish to ensure that nobody should enjoy the good things in life which they themselves have missed and [people] who confuse the right and the good with their own advancement.”
The Moral Point Of View: A Rational Basis Of Ethics by Kurt BaierI have been fascinated by the political events that recently happened in New Zealand. Social media planted clips of Members of Parliament giving powerful speeches and performing the Haka in my feed. Chloe Swarbrick’s speech is moving. One of the creators of the bill these Maori or pro Maori MPs are against, is part Maori himself. To my understanding the bill is dead, but what it was trying to do is similar to what we see in U.S. politics and in our religion.
People want what is fair for everyone across the board…or do they?
It takes a very disciplined, humble person to put aside personal wants for the greater good. It goes against our instincts of survival actually. I find that these deeper instincts to survive…avoiding scarcity for ourselves and our immediate family is what drives our decisions.
I’ve been reading Mormon Women At The Crossroads by Caroline Kline. I’ve been trying to see where I am putting my desires for fairness above others and have come up with some conclusions.
People seek safety.
Like Maslow and what he points out in his “Hierarchy of needs”, people seek safety for their bodies, then their surroundings, relationships, and their minds until they have such actual physical comfort and true social and mental stability, that they are capable of handling all negative and positive encounters with a sound mental frame of mind, the nirvana or “self actualization”.
If we encroach on a need that someone else has not had fulfilled, we should expect backlash. If we already have a need met, but then through our laws or religion, make it harder for someone else to obtain a baser need, we should expect backlash from those we are harming or hindering.
How we hold people back from baser needs:The bill in New Zealand I mentioned earlier is an example of this. In an attempt to make laws of the land more “equal”, David Seymour proposed a bill he said would help everyone. Those who lived and saw inequality more acutely disagreed.
The Moari have designated seats in Parliament. They do not have to compete against other New Zealanders, just other Maori-which some find unfair-because it creates less spots available for the general public, who are not Maori, and are the majority. The Maori then feel that taking away their guaranteed spots will lessen the amount of Maori in government and take away their representation. (Remember, the majority colonized the Maori…forced them into their governance.)
I could cite many bills in the US that demonstrate this as well, such as how voting districts have been drawn, abortion rights, any proposed LGBTQ right, the Equal Right Amendment, the rights that will be challenged in the “Project 2025” proposal (this is skirting the issue of America’s colonization and how there is next to zero representation in government by those indigenous to what is now The United States).
All the recent “Executive Orders”……
What some lawmakers deem as fair and good for all, can be a literal attack on someone’s baser physical need or an attack on someone’s feeling of safety in a next level mental/social need. It is a way to ease an idea that is not making sense in their own mind (yes it goes both ways).
Examples of baser needs:-Basic K-12 Education
-Abortion for survival of physical body, and economic survival
-Employment/minimum wage
-Access to a bathroom
-Housing affordability/availability
-Gun safety laws (including stopping the sale of assault weapons)
Examples of mental needs when personal base needs are met:
-Segregation (however you choose to approach it: charter schools based on “Christian” or “American Values”)
-Abortion for mental survival or limiting other women’s abortions for your peace of mind
-Tax exemption laws
-Second amendment (including owning what ever gun you want and stock piling them)Religion dictates to us what our next level needs are:
I think the church gave me a different pyramid. It told me that my feelings of safety and security were only secure if there were temple sealings making them so. I gained self esteem by checking boxes people were watching me check and my future self actualization could only be achieved through highest degree celestial glory…
I have been fighting these mental battles trying to gain my own personal authority back and speaking out against what I feel is an attack on my mental and spiritual well being while other people of my faith hold onto some of the same things because it gives them that stability mentally and even physically.
Caroline, in her book, mentions that some women in our faith, particularly outside of the USA, gain physical safety in what the LDS church teaches. Their husbands were abusive until they encountered the tenants that helped them espouse benevolent patriarchy.
When I attack what benevolent patriarchy has done to me mentally, I am attacking what is keeping these women safe physically.
What I want to fix and change and even throw out of existence, is keeping my fellow sisters safe.
The system within the LDS framework is hurting other people, other minorities in and out of the US; LGBTQ people for example. But the argument could be made that their needs are not base needs of survival, but then again they could be argued that they are.
So we are back to square one, I have solved nothing, but recognized something.A commenter (@puttingupwitha) on an Exponent Instagram post said, “Mormon feminism highlights inequities within the church, but often lacks a clear path for correcting them. Raised awareness without a way to change the structure can create heavy burdens. I think it is still necessary, but then what? Stay and live with cognitive dissonance, stay and voice concerns with little change, or leave?”
So what do we do?Food for thought on this subject: Why Women of Color Are Exhausted
February 25, 2025
Altared
I realized that afternoon that my children and I had been repeatedly sacrificed on the Altar of the Eternal Family
The full content of this post is available to subscribers. Subscribe now or log in!The Serial Ward Creeper
Photo by Ben White on Unsplash
During this month that boasts a holiday focused on love and relationships I found myself reflecting on LDS dating which then led to me thinking about the serial ward creeper of my youth. I have a feeling most of us have a ward creeper story and if you’re open to sharing, I’d like to hear about yours so we can compare red flags and hopefully help some of the LDS youth of today avoid having experiences like this.
It’s not easy to date as an LDS teen and it’s definitely not easy to figure out how to navigate romance. In my youth, our young women’s group saw romance through the lens of the movies we watched together like “The Princess Bride” and “The Cutting Edge” but also through the lens of eternal companions and the couple from Saturday’s Warriors. To say we weren’t exactly seeing reality modeled is an understatement.
Admit it if it’s true, you’d loudly sing along to Feelings of Forever from Saturday’s Warrior while dreaming about your eternal companion too.
Todd: I’ve seen that smile somewhere before.
Julie: I’ve heard your voice before.
Both: It seems we’ve talked like this before.
Todd: Sometime, who can be certain when?
Julie: But if I knew you then…It’s strange, I can’t remember.
Both: Feelings come so very strong, like we’ve known each other oh, so long.
Todd: The circle of our love is found
Both: In every warm and tender thing
Todd: In God’s eternal plan
Julie: it goes
Todd: forever.
Photo by frank mckenna on Unsplash
Was I naive to believe that I could have an experience like this? Yes. Yes I was. I imagine a lot of us thought we’d hear a voice and somehow the veil would become thin enough for us to almost remember each other from the pre-existence. Judging from how popular it was, a lot of the young men also held the same naive belief. Coupling that naivete with the concept of personal revelation complicates romance for some youth.
A young man who started attending stake dances became quite infatuated with a young woman in my home ward. He began showing up occasionally on Sundays to join Sunday School and before long he was regularly in attendance. The young woman had not welcomed his attention and let him know that she wasn’t interested in dating him. He then showed up at her front door dressed as the Phantom of the Opera thinking it was romantic. When she told me about it I thought of the kidnapping scene as Christine is led to the dungeons of the theatre. When that “romantic” gesture didn’t give him the results he expected, he showed up in fast and testimony meeting. He stood at the pulpit and proclaimed that Heavenly Father revealed to him that he was meant to marry this person. Since the young man refused to accept that the young woman was not interested in marrying or dating him, an Elder in the ward pulled him aside in the foyer and asked that he please leave the young woman alone and not return to the ward again. He was rarely seen after that but rumors swirled that he continued to find his eternal companion over and over again in numerous wards.
Photo by Erika Giraud on Unsplash
Manipulation can be difficult to recognize in secular settings but I find it to be especially difficult to recognize when it’s used in religious settings. When it’s used in a religious setting and involves 2 people with a power imbalance, it feels scary to me. That’s what I felt when I heard that young man proclaim Heavenly Father revealed the eternal plan for him and the young woman he terrorized. There was also the smallest but noticeable thought in my mind of “what if he’s right though and she’s not able to recognize it?” I pushed that thought away but found myself wondering when exactly priesthood holders/men can get revelation for others. I was taught that priesthood leaders can receive revelation for women because of stewardship. Bishops for their ward members, male spouses for their wives, and father’s for their children. The most logical reason would be once they are married or set apart in their calling.
I’ve read accounts of Joseph Smith’s proposals to numerous wives containing revelation. Eliza Partridge writes “”While [living with Joseph Smith] he taught to us the plan of Celestial marriage and asked us to enter into that order with him. This was truly a great trial for me, but I had the most implicit confidence in him as a Prophet of the Lord and not but believe his words, and as a matter of course accept of the privilege of being sealed to him as a wife for time and all eternity. . . . Times were not then as they are now in 1877, but a woman living in polygamy dare not let it be known, and nothing but a firm desire to keep the commandments of the Lord could have induced a girl to marry in that way. I thought my trials were very severe in this line, and I am often led to wonder how it was that a person of my temperament could get along with it and not rebel. But I know it was the Lord who kept me from opposing his plans, although in my heart I felt I could not submit to them. But I did, and I am thankful to my Heavenly Father for the care he had over me in those troublous times.”[246]”
I cannot imagine what it felt like to be in this position but I worry that there’s a young woman who once opened a door to the phantom of the opera who might.
Do you ever get confused on if it’s a matter of faith or a matter of “run” and how do you combat doubt? Submit a guest post.
February 24, 2025
Letter to a Friend, Whose Friend is Leaving the Church
You are dizzy from the height you think
you could fall, the jagged rocks
Come Follow Me: Doctrine and Covenants 19: “Learn of Me”
Doctrine and Covenants section 19, given through Joseph Smith as a revelation for Martin Harris in the summer of 1829, can be a difficult text to grapple with. Verses 23, “Learn of me,” and 38, “Pray always,” are among the most beautiful and most quoted fragments of the D&C, but other verses are harsh. Martin receives stern warnings to repent and obey, which reach a troubling pinnacle in verse 15:
“Therefore I command you to repent—repent, lest I smite you by the rod of my mouth, and by my wrath, and by my anger, and your sufferings be sore—how sore you know not, how exquisite you know not, yea, how hard to bear you know not.“
Martin doesn’t appear to have had grievous sins of commission to repent of and hadn’t made any formal covenants yet. It is hard to imagine a Church leader today relating a revelation that threatens an anxious donor with God’s wrath or punishments. It is difficult for readers who have felt the Lord’s love and experienced peace through priesthood blessings during difficult times to relate to the tone of some of this revelation.
The situation Martin faced that sparked this text was unique, high-pressure, and difficult. He was the only one among Joseph Smith’s early adherents who had enough wealth to finance the Book of Mormon’s publication. “Martin was asked to make a huge sacrifice, more than anyone else had yet been asked in the new dispensation.” He had verbally promised to pay for printing in 1828. In the summer of 1829, the translation finished, he and Joseph worked together on finding a printer. More than one printshop owner they spoke with tried to dissuade Martin out of his willingness to fund the project. Martin and Joseph settled on working with E. B. Grandin, who required that $3,000 (the equivalent of about $102,000 today, even much more when you consider this was the bulk of one wealthy man’s accumulated wealth at the time) of 5,000 copies be paid upfront. This would require Martin to mortgage virtually all of his farm.
Due to consistent opposition from his family and the greater community, Martin Harris hesitated to follow through with his promise. He probably had not realized how much the publication would cost in reality. Sacrificing his farm was especially difficult since 1829 was an economically harsh year for farmers in the region. Both he and Joseph must have been highly stressed. A compassionate reading of this chapter may acknowledge the ways anger, strained relationships, stress can bias and block the inspired voice of a priesthood holder or revelator. It makes good sense that the Lord was desirous for Martin to sacrifice in the cause of the Book of Mormon, yet many of us today would like to hear a more nuanced and understanding voice speak to Martin’s unique, difficult situation.
Possible discussion questions to be addressed in small groups or with the whole class if it is small:
If a person in a comparable predicament were given a priesthood blessing to help and guide them in our day, what kind of message or guidance do you imagine could be most encouraging or insightful?If you could travel back in time and give Martin Harris support in the summer of 1829 during his difficult dilemma, what might you say to encourage him and/or show compassion for what he was going through?What might you share about the Book of Mormon’s impact on your own life to encourage him in the road ahead as he became the first major financial founder of the Book of Mormon and the Church?Reframing Martin’s Sacrifice as a Turn Toward a Courageous, Spiritually Focused “Second half of life”One possibility for taking inspiration from D&C 19 is to interpret Martin’s experience as an example of what many spiritual thinkers have described as the entrance into the “second half” of spiritual life.
Jungian analyst James Hollis has written about how for many individuals, middle age is a time when longings to live a more spiritually meaningful life awaken. Even when life has gone according to plan, and a person arrives at a point when they anticipated enjoying great contentment, they might unexpectedly realize that it feels something vital is missing. Life is much emptier of meaning and growth than they expected. Unexpected urges to take a new path might be signaled through unexpected depression, dreams, or divine interventions.
In 1829, Martin Harris was 46 years old and had lived a successful life. As a young man, he served in the war of 1812. He was married for 21 years, had four children, and was a prosperous farmer. He was a respected neighbor and had lived up to conventional expectations. But his friendship with Joseph Smith and experience with Book of Mormon disrupted this smooth sailing. Suddenly, a door opened for Martin’s life to become something quite different and impactful. As we find in D&C 19, he was asked to give up virtually everything and devote his time to becoming a spiritual leader in the cause of Jesus and his gospel.
Have you ever faced a crossroads like Martin Harris did, when an opportunity opened for you to make a great sacrifice or major decision for the sake of spiritual desires and/or spiritual growth?How have you been blessed, or how has your life become more impactful as you have sacrificed in order to serve spiritual causes and needs?Have you ever experienced unexpected desires or inspiration to grow spiritually or help others? If yes, what obstacles did you face?And in his case, as in many other “second half of life” spiritual transitions, Martin’s desires conflicted with others’ expectation for him and even common sense. (see James Hollis’s Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life and Between Worlds).
Are there ways in which you, as a disciple of Christ or person of faith, have been required to go against the grain of social norms and expectations? What challenges came with this? What growth had this enabled for you?Something in Martin was open to the possibility of living life for more transcendent motivations. He did not have to respond to the call to live a new kind of life, but he did. In response to D&C 19, he chose to give up nearly everything for God’s purposes, and went on to become an important spiritual voice and witness. He made a lasting impact and left a legacy and history for us to learn from.
How does choosing spiritual paths and priorities add meaning to life or fundamentally change how we experience of life?What kind of legacy or impact do you want your life to have?Reframing vocabulary in D&C 19In All Things New by Terryl and Fiona Givens, we learn we may reap spiritual benefits from redefining traditional religious vocabulary such that it can better speak to contemporary experiences. The redefinitions for terms in D&C 19 below are inspired by Erik Erikson’s stages of psychosocial development, in which he describes middle age as a time of tension between a life that is more stagnant, or self-focused and disconnection, and a life that is generative, focused on connections, creativity, and making useful contributions.
Sin = stagnation This encompasses decisions to not sacrifice, help others, or contribute spiritually. Stagnation is living only for yourself and meeting conventional expectations without trying to change the world for good or fostering deep connections.
Repentance = generativity To repent is to follow our noblest spiritual desires. To take the path of authentic spiritual generativity and generosity, prioritizing spiritual growth and our souls’ deepest and most noble desires over the other less pure forces in our lives.
Human pain and suffering caused by sin = the spiritual consequences of choosing stagnation Spiritual suffering can stem from failing to choose to grow and contribute. This suffering is the misery caused by prioritizing comfort, our egos, and more material and superficial things that can’t nurture our spirits or help us grow.
These definitions can’t replace what’s in the text in a fill-in-the blank way, and they certainly don’t solve all the spiritual and theological challenges in the chapter, but it could allow the revelation to be interpreted partly as a matter-of-fact explanation of the consequences of the paths we take. If we attend to our responsibilities to growth, connect, and contribute spiritually, we will find peace and fulfillment. If we prioritize superficial things and a self-serving life, we will suffer from a lack of spiritual sustenance, light, and connection. The latter could be a miserable choice indeed, without any active divine punishment at play (see Adam Miller’s Original Grace for innovative and compassionate thoughts about divine punishment).
What might be some other ideas for redefining sin and repentance (or perhaps other words in the chapter) that speak to you?What are some ways our lives might move out of stagnation and into greater spiritual generativity?Prayer is a Powerful Tool for Fostering Spiritual and Emotional Well-beingRead verse 38:
“Pray always, and I will pour out my Spirit upon you, and great shall be your blessing—yea, even more than if you should obtain treasures of earth and corruptibleness to the extent thereof.“
How might we interpret the exhortation to “pray always?” What does this mean for you in everyday life?What have you experienced during periods of your life when you have tried to pray more frequently or more earnestly?Have you ever struggled to find approaches to prayer that have worked for you?On a recent episode of Faith Matters’ podcast, happiness expert Arthur Brooks taught that prayer can help us fight depression and anxiety and foster joy. He said “the most effective metacognitive technique is…offering up prayers of petition.” Prayer is healing healing the mind partly because it moves fear, anxieties, and desires from the body into the conscious problem-solving part of the brain, where they can be recognized and expressed. Prayer is more beneficial than journaling alone because in addition to listing our troubles, we also seek help from someone much greater than ourselves. Prayers are an active assertion of trust that help and relief will come. Brooks explains, “The ideal formula for prayer, according to Christian tradition…is glory to you, thank you, sorry, help me more. It is those four things. When you [pray]…you’re bringing your concerns to God…you’re articulating them, and they’re no longer ghosts in the machine, you’re bringing them to your prefrontal cortex… and then offer[ing them] up to heaven. And this is really, really, powerful. People say, “I feel so much better after I pray.” Well, duh! Neuroscience, man!” Brooks brings a scientific lens to prayer in no way to deconstruct or diminish the spiritual side of prayer. He has faith in the power of prayer himself and seems to enjoy how his scientific and faith perspectives can line up in harmony with each other.
Based on Brooks description, are there ways you might like to try to better optimize the benefits of prayer in your life?What could it mean to “pray always” and receive the blessings promised in verse 38 in light of the immense wellness benefits of prayer?Doctrine and Covenants Come Follow Me Lesson Plans: Spring 2025
In 2025, we’re studying Doctrine and Covenants for the Come Follow Me curriculum, and we’re here to help with our bloggers’ feminist and nuanced lesson plans! Exponent II is here for you as always with our longstanding strategy of teaching lessons with a feminist perspective, historical context and inclusive content and language.
Here are some nuanced lessons plans covering Doctrine and Covenants Come Follow Me that align with the February, March and April Come Follow Me curriculum. Is the lesson you need to teach not here yet? No worries! We’ll continue to post new lesson plans as the year goes on. Keep checking our Doctrine and Covenants Come Follow Me Lesson Plans collection to find the new lesson plans we’ll add throughout the year.
Come Follow Me: Doctrine and Covenants 12–17; Joseph Smith—History 1:66–75 “Upon You My Fellow Servants”Come Follow Me: Doctrine and Covenants 12–17; Joseph Smith—History 1:66–75 “Upon You My Fellow Servants”Come Follow Me: Doctrine and Covenants 18 “The worth of souls is great”
Come Follow Me: Doctrine and Covenants 18 “The worth of souls is great”Come Follow Me: Doctrine and Covenants 19: “Learn of Me”
Come Follow Me: Doctrine and Covenants 19: “Learn of Me”Come Follow Me: Doctrine and Covenants 20–22 “The Rise of the Church of Christ”
Come Follow Me: Doctrine and Covenants 20–22 “The Rise of the Church of Christ”Come Follow Me: Doctrine and Covenants 30–36 “Lift up your voices …to declare my gospel”
Come Follow Me: Doctrine and Covenants 30–36 “Lift up your voices …to declare my gospel”Easter Come Follow Me lesson
Come Follow Me: EasterCome Follow Me: Doctrine and Covenants 37–40 “If Ye Are Not One Ye Are Not Mine”
Come Follow Me: Doctrine and Covenants 37–40 “If Ye Are Not One Ye Are Not Mine”
February 23, 2025
Sacred Music Sunday: Faith in Every Footstep
The church released the third batch from the new hymnal last week, and it contains a mixture of hymns I’m familiar with and ones that are new to me. One distinctly Mormon addition is Faith in Every Footstep, which was written to commemorate the pioneers and their faith.
I grew up in California, where the pioneers arrived a year before they arrived in Utah, so we had our big sesquicentennial celebration in 1996, before the whole church-wide celebration in 1997. The stake youth did a big play that we rehearsed for months, and the grand finale was Faith in Every Footstep.
Although the hymn was written about people crossing the plains in wagons and handcarts, or sailing and landing in gold country before deciding whether to stay or proceed east to join the rest of the saints, there’s nothing explicitly pioneer about the words. Just as the pioneers exercised faith in their footsteps, we can exercise faith in ours, wherever those footsteps might take us.
February 22, 2025
A Love Poem to My Friends
(Dedicated to the friends who continue to love me as I grow, evolve, and change. I love you.)
To the friends who hear me—
Who have listened to my stories filled with anger, unfolding family dramas.
And stood by me as my faith diminished
smaller than a mustard seed—
Who open their hearts and share their own losses and griefs,
It is Reciprocity
In one word—
Holy.
To all of us on the rollercoaster that is children-rearing.
Oh, God, it’s all so hard…
But to receive those texts of milestones is everything—
When babies are latching, sleeping through the night, potty training and saying their first words,
Watching our kids transform from little to big,
Some now in the teen years of crushes, bullies, and breakups,
Alongside acne and braces.
Conversations about our marriages and their seasons of plenty and famine,
In-laws who suck and in-laws who rock.
Work, in the home and in the office—
We always have more to do.
Supporting each other through Big Life Things—
Races, book deals, graduations,
TV stardom, podcasts, performances—
Therapy, medication, sickness, surgeries,
Divorces, diagnoses, and death.
Damn.
Showing up—
To plays, funerals, book events, showers—
Time together.
Birthday wishes, hugs, treats and flowers,
Huddled on couches telling stories teary-eyed,
And Marco Polo replies on long car rides.
Screaming “F*(/< the patriarchy!” into the night sky,
Burning in fire what we must say farewell to, like
Purity culture,
Blind obedience,
Appeasing others.
And sharing what we will hold on to, like
Our wholeness,
Chasing dreams,
Creating magic.
The girls’ trips away–
Tarot card readings,
Late-night sex talks and musings,
Hot tubs with champagne,
Bunco, dinners, and pickleballing.
Solving the world’s problems,
I’m convinced that we could…
Delusional? Perhaps.
But my friends are pretty convincing.
I brag about them–
The talents my friends have make me more talented by association.
Published writings, art shows, decorated cookies, and sewing masterpieces,
Using their resources for good, always
Sending money for causes and tragedies, organizing meal trains, raising awareness.
Hospitals and communities and businesses are better because of what my friends do.
I am the luckiest.
Are they doing the same things as me when we are not together?
Making lunches and dinners and tying shoes…
Making love and grocery shopping?
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
We are mothers and daughters, wives and coworkers, PTA members and drivers and some church-goers,
All are connected in this web of life,
To live, laugh, love (ha!!), and rage with.
February 21, 2025
Mourning the Loss of a Compassionate Government
Like many Americans I am shocked by how quickly this second Trump Presidency is dismantling the Federal Government.
I’m especially mourning the seeming loss of any compassion. Yes, the Federal Government could be clunky and bureaucratic, but at least it was trying to make people’s lives better.
Several months ago I started working on a blog post with the working title, “I prayed to God for help, the help came from the government.” This was supposed to be a response to the rhetoric of “Letting God Prevail” in our lives. I had realized that many of the times I felt God prevailing in my life I was actually receiving the benefits of social programs.
For example, the first time my husband and I filed taxes after our twins were born we received a large tax refund mostly due to the Earned Income Tax Credit. That refund allowed us to pay off a car loan, buy some much needed items, and still put money into savings. We had been scrimping and saving to get by. That refund felt like a gift from God. Looking back it still feels like a gift from God, but I am also able to see that it was the result of progressive policies put in place by people who cared about low income families.
I never finished writing that blog post, but in light of the way the current administration aiming to cut social programs I feel it is important to chronicle the many ways the federal government helped my young family.
Before I had children I assumed that my husband and I would never need to rely on social programs. Our income would be high and/or our budgeting skills would be disciplined enough to keep us from needing any sort of “handouts.” That illusion was shattered rather quickly. My husband graduated from college into the economy of the Great Recession. This was at the same time my body decided to figure out fertility – without consulting me. We had four children in less than three years. (Twins, a baby 17 months later, and then another baby 17 months after that.)
My husband’s first choice for a career did not work out. He joined the military to support our family and to try to do the military version of his career choice. His time in the military was cut short due to some medical concerns. He went back to school for a second degree in a related field. Soon after graduating with that degree the pandemic started and sent him in yet another career direction. When he did make it into a decent paying job, inflation made it so that a higher income didn’t go as far as it had a few years earlier.
Through all the changes I was grateful for the social programs that helped us keep our family afloat. WIC, Medicaid/CHIP, the Earned Income Tax Credit, the Additional Child Tax Credit, Free School Lunch and Breakfast, these programs helped our young family over and over again.
There were other ways the government helped my family. Here are a few of them:
I have children with learning disabilities who have benefited from 504 plans and IEPs at school. My children currently attend Title 1 schools that have additional para-professionals to help with things like reading intervention. When my husband left the military he was able to go back to school thanks to the Post 9/11 GI Bill. His tuition was paid for and we received a housing allowance each month. He was able to pick the school in whatever state he wanted and only pay resident tuition because of the Yellow Ribbon program. He has had health care available through the VA. When my husband was back in school and I was working nearly full time we needed to send our children to daycare when they were not in school. A government program paid for the majority of the daycare bill.A couple years ago my family qualified for a grant that covered education related expenses. We were able to purchase musical instruments for my two oldest children with that grant.When my husband was terminated from a job he was able to collect unemployment benefits until he found a new job.Occasionally we had help from our extended families or the church. But when I look back over the years since I became a parent I see that the bulk of the help our family received was from social programs administered by the state and federal government.
I used to think that God was providing all these “blessings” as a reward for my husband and I being faithful in raising our children despite numerus obstacles. I would like to still believe that God was helping us financially. But now I see that we were being helped by social programs that had been put in place by caring individuals who lobbied, advocated, and worked to get these programs established.
I am saddened to see the programs that I relied on be threatened. My children are older so I am able to work more now. I expected our family to no longer qualify for certain programs soon. But I worry about the parents with children younger than mine. They are going to be raising children in a world that is less kind. Will Medicaid exist to cover the cost of filling a cavity? Will the Department of Education exist and protect things like IEP’s for children who need extra support at school? Will children from low income families have food at lunch time?
These are just the programs that have affected me. I know that there are other programs that have been threatened or already shuttered. Things like USAID, Social Security, Medicare, the list seems to grow every day.
I am mourning the loss of the compassion our government used to have. And in some ways I’m mourning the loss of a God I once believed in. Who will answer prayers for help? Will God find another way to help families if the government isn’t doing the job? I’d like to hope so, but I’m not sure.
Photo by nikko macaspac on Unsplash
February 20, 2025
Our Bloggers Recommend: ‘Sugarcane’… in regards to “The Indian Problem”
National Geographic has just come out with a new documentary that is worth your time.
Sugarcane
The documentary states that hundreds of thousands of children attended Indian schools across North America. There were 139 in Canada and 408 in the United States. The last one closed in 1997.
One of them was is Utah’s Brigham City, established in 1949 and closed in 1984.
This article shows a more positive side to the Utah school.
This was White North American’s attempt to “remove the Indian” from those who lived on the land first. This was colonization of the mind in the form of “missionary work.” This was what was considered, “the Indian problem.”
This documentary speaks about the rape and abuse done to the young girls and boys by the Priests and what they did with the babies from those acts of rape.
Sunstone’s Mormon History Podcast
You would also benefit to know how our Mormon ancestors contributed to the efforts to wipe out the Native population.
Wasters and Destroyers: Episode 112 (this one hit too close to home for me. Our Mormon ancestors participated in the genocide of the Timpanogos tribe. My Mormon ancestors settled all over on Timpanogos land.)
The Indian Slave Trade: Episode 124
The Walker War, Part 1: Episode 126
The Walker War, Part 2: Episode 127
Why deliberately watch/listen to something that will most definitely make you cry? Perhaps the collective knowledge will hopefully help us see where we can actively vote for people and policies that take all of this knowledge into consideration, and make a better world for those that it was taken from.
