Exponent II's Blog, page 36

“Your lineage starts here in Nauvoo.” 2025 Worldwide Relief Society Devotional

President Camille N. Johnson and her counselors filmed the 2025 Relief Society Devotional in Nauvoo, at the historic Red Brick Store where the Nauvoo Relief Society was founded in 1842. 

President Johnson opened the meeting by sharing this history, beginning with the role of Joseph Smith, founding president of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS). 

This is a sacred space where in 1842, the prophet Joseph Smith organized the Relief Society.  

— Camille N. Johnson, Worldwide Relief Society Devotional, March 2025 

Let’s take a few steps back and also remember Sarah M. Kimball and Margaret Cook. After all, the Relief Society was their idea. 

When they told Joseph Smith about their idea, he praised their efforts but told them that the Lord had “something better for them.” 

 — “Something Extraordinary”: The Beginnings of the Relief Society, September 5, 2018 

To me, it is simultaneously empowering to know that the Nauvoo Relief Society was first proposed by women and irritating that their idea for a woman-led organization was vetoed in favor of organizing women under the direction of a man. But regardless of my mixed feelings, I felt the reverence of President Johnson for the Relief Society and this moment in history. 

President Johnson emphasized that the Relief Society was organized “after the pattern of the priesthood and in complete restoration of all things as part of an ongoing restoration of the gospel of Jesus Christ.” 

Both President Johnson and General Relief Society Second Counselor Kristin M. Yee shared that they had female ancestors who were early church members in Nauvoo. President Johnson added that all modern Relief Society members have claim to this history, regardless of our genealogy. 

Wherever you live around the world, I hope you know that your lineage starts here in Nauvoo.  

— Camille N. Johnson, Worldwide Relief Society Devotional, March 2025 

I like the thought of women claiming a priestly lineage. When our male counterparts are ordained to the priesthood, they are told their priesthood lineage, tracing their priesthood ordination back through generations to Joseph Smith. 

For women, the connection to our spiritual ancestors can feel vague. We don’t even join the Relief Society; we are just added to the roles automatically on our 18th birthdays with no ritual to mark the occasion.  

It was different at the time of the Nauvoo Relief Society. At that time, women could be ordained. 

The minutes of the Nauvoo Relief Society describe the ordinations of Sarah M. Cleveland and Elizabeth Ann Whitney, Emma Smith’s counselors in the first Relief Society Presidency. Joseph Smith explained that Emma Smith did not need to be ordained because she had already been ordained previously, just like men who have already been ordained in the modern church do not need to be ordained again to take on new callings. Instead, Emma Smith received a blessing analogous to the modern practice of “setting apart.” (See Nauvoo Relief Society minutes) 

President Smith read the Revelation to Emma Smith, from the book of Doctrine and Covenants; and stated that she was ordain’d at the time, the Revelation was given, to expound the scriptures to all; and to teach the female part of community; and that not she alone, but others, may attain to the same blessings. 

— Nauvoo Relief Society minutes

The revelation Joseph Smith read to the Nauvoo Relief Society was Doctrine and Covenants 25. 

And thou shalt be ordained under his hand to expound scriptures, and to exhort the church, according as it shall be given thee by my Spirit. 

For he shall lay his hands upon thee, and thou shalt receive the Holy Ghost, and thy time shall be given to writing, and to learning much. 

Doctrine and Covenants 25:7-8 

During the Relief Society devotional, President Johnson also quoted a verse from Doctrine and Covenants 25. 

Wherefore, lift up thy heart and rejoice, and cleave unto the covenants which thou hast made. 

Doctrine and Covenants 25:13 

President Johnson elaborated on the meaning of this scripture. 

It’s another way of saying trust me. Trust in the promises that I’ve made to you because my promises are sure. And those same promises that we make in the House of the Lord and, of course, at baptism, a promise comes back to us that He’ll always be with us that we’ll have His spirit to attend us and we’ll have angels round about us to minister to us and attend to our needs. I know those are still real. And those promises that He makes, He made to those dear Saints here in Nauvoo. He makes those same promises to us when we participate in the ordinances of the of the gospel of Jesus Christ that are available to us through priesthood keys. 

— Camille N. Johnson, Worldwide Relief Society Devotional, March 2025 

I assume President Johnson was referring to keys held by priesthood-holding men; keys for men are the only kind we have in our modern church. 

Joseph Smith told Nauvoo Relief Society sisters, “I turn the key to you.”  

This Society is to get instruction thro’ the order which God has established— thro’ the medium of those appointed to lead— and I now turn the key to you in the name of God and this Society shall rejoice and knowledge and intelligence shall flow down from this time. 

— Nauvoo Relief Society minutes

The implication that Joseph Smith would give keys to women was so disorienting to later church leaders that they revised the record to say, “I turn the key on your behalf.” 

Joseph Smith also promised the women of the Nauvoo Relief Society that they would become priests. 

Said he was going to make of this Society a  kingdom of priests an in Enoch’s day— as in Paul’s day. 

— Nauvoo Relief Society minutes

The name Relief Society was proposed by Sarah Cleveland. Joseph Smith and John Taylor raised objections, preferring the more popular term, Benevolent Society, but they were heartily out-debated by the women.  

Prest. Emma Smith, said the popularity of the word benevolent is one great objection— no person can think of the word as associated with public Institutions, without thinking of the Washingtonian Benevolent Society which was one of the most corrupt Institutions of the day— do not wish to have it call’d after other Societies in the world— 

…Counsellor [Sarah] Cleveland arose to remark concerning the question before the house, that we should not regard the idle speech of our enemies— we design to act in the name of the Lord— to relieve the wants of the distressed, and do all the good we can. 

Eliza R. Snow arose and said that she felt to concur with the President [Emma Smith], with regard to the word Benevolent, that many Societies with which it had been associated, were corrupt,— that the popular Institutions of the day should not be our guide— that as daughters of Zion, we should set an example for all the world, rather than confine ourselves to the course which had been heretofore pursued— one objection to the word Relief is, that the idea associated with it is that of some great calamity— that we intend appropriating on some extraordinary occasions instead of meeting the common occurrences— 

Prest. Emma Smith remark’d— we are going to do something extraordinary— when a boat is stuck on the rapids with a multitude of Mormons on board we shall consider that a loud call for relief— we expect extraordinary occasions and pressing calls— 

Elder [John] Taylor arose and said— I shall have to concede the point— your arguments are so potent I cannot stand before them— I shall have to give way— 

Prest. J. S. [Joseph Smith] said I also shall have to concede the point, all I shall have to give to the poor, I shall give to this Society— 

Counsellor [Elizabeth Ann] Whitney mov’d, that this Society be call’d The Nauvoo Female Relief Society— second. by Counsellor [Sarah] Cleveland

— Nauvoo Relief Society minutes

As modern Relief Society sisters, we’ve inherited the legacy of these feisty, mission-driven, confident Nauvoo women. 

We all stand on the shoulders of these dear sisters who with faith moved forward with covenant confidence. 

— Camille N. Johnson, Worldwide Relief Society Devotional, March 2025  

In Nauvoo, women didn’t become Relief Society members simply by virtue of being Mormon and old enough. Women chose to join the Relief Society and made a commitment to fulfill its mission to do something extraordinary. 

But let’s not romanticize that too much. The Relief Society may have been a bit too exclusive in the beginning, with cliquish and judgmental members refusing entry to women they deemed less worthy. Take Jane Harper Neyman’s story, for example.  

President Johnson encouraged modern Relief Society members to be inclusive. 

We take care of each other. 

— Camille N. Johnson, Worldwide Relief Society Devotional, March 2025 

[image error]The General Relief Society Presidency gathers with performing missionaries in Nauvoo.

Read other reviews of the 2025 Worldwide Relief Society Broadcast.

2025 Worldwide Relief Society Devotional: “They Had That Covenant Relationship with God”

Before I remark on Sister J. Anette Dennis’ words during the Women’s Worldwide Devotional, I would like to mention that I have the utmost respect for her.

Last year during the Worldwide Relief Society Broadcast, Sister Dennis made a comment that generated a conversation, the likes of which we had never seen before. The church highlighted her remarks in an Instagram post, and the comments came flooding in.

She claimed, “There is no other religious organization in the world, the I know of, that has so broadly given power and authority to women.” 

Women, both inside and outside of the church, were not having it. There have been over 17,000 comments on the post, most of which seem to be critical of her statement.

Sister Dennis herself commented on the post, thanking those who reached out to share their feelings. She gave an assurance that they (The Relief Society Presidency) and the leaders of the church are listening and learning from the things that had been shared.

After receiving such a barrage of criticism, Sister Dennis responded with kindness and respect. That is nothing short of admirable.

Though I am not convinced that the church really is listening, since nothing has been said about this event since it occurred, I can still appreciate Sister Dennis’ attempt to reach across the divide with those who disagreed with her statement.

Some of Sister Dennis’ first remarks in this year’s devotional honor the legacy of Emma Smith. She was a woman who lost much, including multiple children and homes, in order to follow the church into the wilderness.

She emphasizes that Emma was sustained through her covenantal relationship with God, a seemingly common theme throughout the devotional. Sister Dennis remarks that she is not sure if Emma could have handled such ordeals without said covenants.

She continued to emphasize this point by sharing a story of the Nauvoo saints who scattered the grounds of the temple, waiting to make their covenants, insistent that they receive them before making the dangerous trek out west. They were not sure when they would have the chance to make such covenants in a temple again, and surely they needed the strength that the endowment would bring.

While I can admire the faith and endurance of the early saints, and mourn for the persecution they endured, I can’t say that I agree in the necessity of covenants in order to survive the difficult ordeals that lie ahead, as Sister Dennis goes on to mention. 

She says, “Our covenants are what help us to be connected more deeply to our Father in Heaven and Jesus Christ and give us that strength that we need to move forward, just like those saints did, wherever we are in the world.”

I’m sure these words resonate with many Latter-day Saints. This experience is also shared by many outside the church, which is where the disconnect occurs for me.

Others find strength through various faiths that have nothing to do with covenants. Even atheists and agnostics find strength through their own personal beliefs. 

Others also feel deep connection with God and the divine, without ever making a covenant in a Latter-day Saint temple.

Simply put, covenants are not required for strength, nor are they required for a deep personal connection with God.

Can they be for some? Absolutely! For anyone who feels strength and connection through covenants in a Latter-day Saint temple, I hope they continue to attend and feel that empowerment in their lives.

But is it the only way? I would argue that it isn’t.

Perhaps this isn’t what Sister Dennis is suggesting. Maybe she would agree with me that others not of our faith can access this power through other means. But that would beg the question, why do we need covenants for strength and connection to God if there are multiple paths one could take to find such things?

Some of her last words focused on love; how some may be struggling to feel the love of God and that we can help them feel that love. That is a sentiment that I think we can all get behind. Love thy neighbor as thyself is one of the simplest and most important lessons from the mouth of Jesus Christ. Personally, I find that to be the core of his message, not temple covenants.

Perhaps the saints survived the trek out west because of their love for one another; because they lifted and sustained and supported their neighbor. Sure, their faith must have strengthened them, too. I have no doubt about that. But was it the covenants that gave them the strength to endure something they otherwise wouldn’t have been able to endure, or was it the fellow sister or brother, and their own strength they found from within, that propelled them onward?

We may never know for sure.

What I do know from watching these three women is that their shared friendship and love for one another and for the Relief Society Sisters around the world is the most profound part of this devotional.

Sister Dennis says that we are “privileged” to hear from an apostle of the Lord at the conclusion of their remarks. Elder Renlund is given about half of the devotional to speak.

My dear sisters, you are the privilege. Your friendship, your love, your spirits are more than enough. We do not need a follow up from a man during a women’s devotional.

We need you; to see you and to hear you more.

Perhaps nothing has been resolved since Sister Dennis’ remarks a year ago.

That just might be the biggest take away from this year’s devotional: nothing has changed.

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦 on Unsplash

Read other reviews of the 2025 Worldwide Relief Society Broadcast.

2025 Worldwide Relief Society Devotional: “We are more similar than we are not.”

Three women gathered in a preserved legacy site in Nauvoo, a place where their ancestors once stood. As they spoke, their conversation was charged with emotion and deep connection—to the past and to each other. The topic was covenants, a word they repeated often. But what struck me most was not the word itself—it was their friendship, their body language, and the way they wove their stories together, much like the first Relief Society sisters wove fabric and quilts.

Watching the 2025 Worldwide Relief Society Devotional, I was struck by the intimate way the General Relief Society Presidency spoke—looking into each other’s eyes, holding hands, and building off what each other said. This horizontal, relational style of conversation is something linguist Amanda Montell describes in this way: “While men tend to view conversation as an arena for establishing hierarchies and expressing individual achievement, women’s goals are typically to support the other speakers and emphasize solidarity.”

These gendered conversation styles were clearly displayed in the 2025 devotional: the first scene was the above mentioned conversation emphasizing connection and friendship between three women and the second scene was a man, standing at a pulpit, preaching to a group of sitting women. 

I admire whoever designed the first part of the devotional this way, it allows viewers to witness the connection and friendship these women share which sustained their message of sisterhood. 

At the beginning of the conversation, Kristin M. Yee, in response to President Johnson’s thoughts about connection to the roots and origins of the Relief Society sisters, said about our Relief Society foremothers, “We are more similar than we are not.” She pulled stories of pioneer women through time, examined them, and concluded that we long for, pray for, and hope for the same things as the women back then, she focused on connection. She also repeatedly referred to the legacy of “taking care of each other” through difficult times that connects us to our lineage. 

Sister Yee’s words reminded me of a time, ten years ago, when my husband’s younger brother died, sending my husband into a storm of doubt before he decided to remove his name from the records of the LDS Church. Shortly after, as foster parents, we lost the baby we were in the process of adopting. None of this was conventional grief. It was all largely invisible to our community and we felt desperately alone. But a Relief Society sister saw us. She wrote my husband and me a letter full of love and nonjudgemental understanding. She was not afraid of his doubt, she did not shy away from naming our grief and offering her heart, mentioning that she mourned with us. Her letter was brave and kind, connecting her grief with ours. 

With emotion, Sister Yee looked right into the camera, and testified that “We are never alone.” And at that moment, thinking of this letter and this sister who reached into my loneliness, I believed her.

Later, towards the end of the conversation, Sister Yee again, this time talking about the women who surround us today, said, “We are so much more the same than we are different.” Again, her words were connecting, this time not to the past but to the women who surround us. 

And while the conversation often gave credit to the Lord, an idea that abandoned me long ago, Sister Yee’s words reminded me of the tangible care and connection women have given me over the years. For example, at a time when my doubt scared a lot of Relief Society sisters, one of them listened to me and discovered our shared love for Sue Monk Kidd’s novel, The Book of Longings.

One day, I found a beautifully painted clay bowl on my porch with a letter from this sister saying she found this bowl at a flea market, and it reminded her of the “incantation bowl” Anna uses to write her prayers in The Book of Longings. “This is your prayer bowl now, to write the prayer of your heart,” my friend wrote. I’d lost my ability to pray, and my friend, my Relief Society sister, reached out and connected with me, seeing that we are so much more the same than we are different. 

The word “covenant” was repeated over and over in the devotional, like a refrain stuck on repeat. I understand that it was the theme of the devotional, but I have to admit—the word itself means little to me. I don’t fully understand it. But what I do understand, what I do believe, is the connection and magic that comes through caring for each other. “Those sisters next to you have the same desire to be loved,” Sister Yee said. And I believe her. 

While the word covenant confuses me and seems so intangible, watching these women on the screen in a room full of history reach for each other’s hands, ask each other questions, play off each other’s stories in support and solidarity, and witness each other’s tears, I believe Sister Yee. I feel the truth of her words. It was the moment, at the end, when President Johnson cried and Sister Yee silently squeezed her hand, that I understood her words. 

“We are never alone,” she said. And I believe she was talking to me. Not because I believe in covenants, but because I believe in friends.

Photo by Hannah Busing on Unsplash

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦 on Unsplash

Read other reviews of the 2025 Worldwide Relief Society Broadcast.

Power Pause

Recognizing women for International Women’s Day.

International Women’s Day has come and gone, but here is an article by Mariya Manzhos that is a great read.

Manzhos interviewed, Neha Ruch who is the founder of Mother Untitled, a “platform for ambitious women leaning into family life”1 and author of the new book “The Power Pause: How to Plan a Career Break After Kids — and Come Back Stronger Than Ever.”

You can read the interview here.

Help Us Capture the Spirit of the Exponent II Retreat!

Over the years, the Exponent II retreat has been a place of laughter, learning, and deep connection. Whether you’ve attended once or have been coming for decades, you know that this gathering is more than just a weekend—it’s a space to share stories, forge friendships, and make memories.

We want to preserve those moments, and we need your help! Please take a few minutes to respond to our short survey and share your reflections on the retreat. You don’t even need to answer all of the questions!

Did a particular workshop inspire you? Was there a keynote address that changed the way you see the world? Did you find unexpected wisdom in Quaker Meetings or Spiritual Autobiographies? Maybe the Friday Night Introductions gave you a sense of belonging, or perhaps your most cherished memories are off-schedule—canoeing at sunrise, hiking with new friends, or sharing stories by the campfire.

Whatever your experience, we’d love to hear about it. Your reflections will help us honor the retreat’s history and continue shaping it for the future. Of course, we ask that you keep confidences—share your own experiences, but please don’t reveal personal details about others.

Exponent II’s ten-year anniversary issue included many great short recollections from our first national retreat, held at Hillsboro Camp in 1983. These memories were priceless in telling the retreat’s history in Fifty Years of Exponent II. We’d love to capture similar recollections for our retreat blog series.

Please share your thoughts in our short survey. Thank you for being part of this extraordinary community—we can’t wait to hear your stories! And, of course, we’d love for you to join us for the 2025 retreat to be held September 19-21 at the Barbara C. Harris Episcopal Camp and Retreat Center in Greenfield, New Hampshire. Registration opens soon, so be sure to subscribe to the Exponent II monthly newsletter for updates.

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photo credit: Anna Ream

A Child Is Not a Retirement Plan

There’s a common saying that many of us teach to younger women: “A man is not a financial plan.” Meaning, a woman needs to be able to take care of herself, in some fashion, because she can’t and shouldn’t rely on having a man to take care of her. He may die or divorce her. He may not be able to support a family alone. He may never even show up in the first place.

Along those same lines, too many people’s retirement plans involve moving in with their children or involve the expectation that children (daughters, really) will become caregivers in or out of the home in old age or will be the ones providing the emotional labor of selecting and arranging for a nursing home if that becomes necessary.

As I’m approaching middle age without the children I wanted to have, I’m faced with the reality that I need to figure out what will happen to me when I can’t take care of myself anymore. Even if I do get a chance to have children, I don’t want to burden them with the need to care for me while they’re also trying to take care of themselves and possibly their own children. A child is not a retirement plan.

Realistically, I probably have at least 50 more years left on this earth. My family lives long. I have 27 years left before I can collect my full pension from my job (and I thank my lucky stars I even have one; until I started my current job 3 years ago, I was planning on having to work until the day I died). I don’t know how many of those years will be spent in good health and how many will be spent in poor health. And society doesn’t have conversations for what happens to unmarried and/or childless people. I have no nieces or nephews, which is the oft-touted “solution” to childlessness in the church.

I joined AARP a couple of months ago because a friend recommended it to me for the discounts on restaurants and such. You don’t have to be retired or even close to retirement age to join; anyone can. The book section recommended several books on aging alone. I have a few on order and I’m going to get to reading once they arrive. Hopefully I’ll be able to get some useful information there.

In a society where many people do not have a partner or a child, there needs to be more of a conversation on how to plan for the eventuality of incapacity. Even people who do have children need to plan for what to do. There’s no guarantee that one’s adult children will be able to provide assistance.

Maybe once I figure out a few answers, I can propose a fifth Sunday lesson topic or a weeknight Relief Society meeting. What plans do you all have for old age? I’m open to ideas!

No Man’s Land

Stalemates are inevitable in war. Both sides are locked in heated battle, refusing to give up even an inch of their land.

The distance between them creates a land in and of itself; a land owned by neither party.

Both sides dig their bunkers, resting the barrels of their guns along the edges, aiming toward this forbidden land.

There is hardly anything more vulnerable than stepping foot on No Man’s Land. A soldier who does is asking for death.

And yet, somewhere in the French countryside, a beautiful thing took place on Christmas Eve of 1914.

In the height of World War I, snowfall brought German and British forces to a sudden halt. No Man’s Land was quiet and covered in white frost.

The British were shocked at what happened next.

Private Albert Moren recalled, “It was a beautiful moonlit night, frost on the ground, white everywhere. About seven or eight in the evening there was a lot of commotion in the German trenches and there were these lights – I don’t know what they were.
And then they sang ‘Silent Night’ – ‘Stille Nacht’. I shall never forget it; it was one of the highlights of my life. What a beautiful tune.”

This simple yet bold act of communion lead to further – and bolder – attempts. Some German soldiers waved white flags, asking the British for a truce. They insisted that they would not shoot and asked the British to do the same.

The British popped their heads up over the barriers, only to quickly drop back down – a test to see if their enemies would shoot.

But the bullets didn’t come.

German soldiers then stood up, waving their arms.

But the bullets didn’t come.

Tentatively, on Christmas morning, they climbed out of their bunkers and stepped foot on No Man’s Land. One can only imagine the bravery this took; a leap of faith in trust for those who were their enemies, men who they had been locked in vicious battle with for months.

They sang songs, exchanged gifts, and even played soccer. Christmas, it seems, brought enemies together.

But not for long.

Leaders and top commanding officers on both sides did not approve of the affair. They feared it would weaken their soldiers’ resolve to fight. Commanders even monitored casualty rates. If the rates seemed lower than usual, they issued raids to foster the correct “fighting spirit.”

Let’s think about that for a moment.

It’s important to note the unfortunate callous disregard for human life in the midst of war. But beyond that, it is disconcerting that leaders would ever discourage a truce. A cease fire. Peace.

You see, winning is far more important.

Perhaps even more unfortunate is the loyal soldier. Soldiers trained and prepared to fight and protect in a war that they didn’t even start; pawns in a bloody game of chess, pressured to aim their crosshairs at men who aren’t too different from themselves, then forced to pull the trigger.

A British soldier named Murdoch M. Wood observed, “I then came to the conclusion that I have held very firmly ever since, that if we had been left to ourselves there would never have been another shot fired.”

After the truce of Christmas day, fighting resumed the very next morning. Friends became enemies once again. As if the previous day never happened.

This story cannot be said for the rest of the battlefield on this fateful Christmas day. Truces were uncommon. They were rare, in fact. Officers went out of their way to make sure they never happened. Adolf Hitler, a corporal at the time, reportedly said, “Such a thing should not happen in wartime. Have you no German sense of honor?”

Unfortunately, this Christmas truce was an anomaly. Though the soldiers saw wartime through a very different lens, the officers held all the power. Their desire to win and crush their enemies overruled the soldiers’ resolve for peace.

Some who asked for a truce, and took the step into the open field, were shot in the back.

Make no mistake, we are in a war. At least, that’s what we’re told.

We are trained as loyal soldiers to defend and protect the church – and supposed “truth” – even if it is at a great cost.

This has been ingrained in our church culture early on, back when members took oaths in the temple to avenge the blood of the prophets.

The Mountain Meadows Massacre has been spotlighted in the media with the premier of American Primeval. The representation isn’t historically accurate (though I find the true history behind the event to be even more horrific than what is portrayed in the show). I won’t go into details now, but if anyone is unaware of the incident, I suggest you research it.

For the purposes of this post, I will share that members of the church murdered about 120 innocent emigrants, including women and children, and framed the Native Americans for plotting and executing the attack.

I was shocked to learn that it took the church 150 years to “express regret” for the incident.

But don’t get your hopes too high. The church spokesperson made clear that “expressing regret” was not the same thing as an apology.

We all know that the church never apologizes.

Though the blood oath is gone from the temple now, and the 120 dead have long since been buried, the culture of “us vs. them” mentality is still alive and well.

After an honest look at history, it can be argued that Mormonism has hurt more people than they themselves have been hurt. We have persecuted and oppressed and even murdered “others” more than those others have done to us.

We can only play the victim card for so long.

I understand that we have a sensitive and trauma filled history. But that does not give us the excuse to pretend that our behaviors and actions do not matter; that we owe no one an apology or accountability.

We don’t hesitate to teach about our own persecutions in Sunday School. Just about every member is familiar with the murders of Latter-day Saints in Missouri, the governor’s Extermination Order, and the church’s trek out west to seek religious freedom.

Yet so many members are ignorant to the many massacres that took place in early Utah, where we murdered far, far more than what took place in Missouri.

We’re ignorant that Brigham Young signed his own version of an extermination order to eliminate hostile Native Americans, even though the Mormons were the ones who were infringing on their lands.

We’re ignorant that Native American slavery was legalized by Young, resulting in the enslavement of over 400 Native American children.

I do not share this to attack the early Saints or even Brigham Young himself. I share this solely because it is the truth. It is part of our history that has been ignored for far too long.

We cannot honestly look at our history and act as if the bad never happened. We cannot portray ourselves as the victims and never the perpetrators. Because it simply isn’t true.

Yet we soldiers march on. We are persuaded that we are the persecuted ones, our leaders convincing us that this is so; convincing us that our enemies – “Anti-Mormons”, the media, the LGBTQ+ community, feminists – are worthy of sniper attacks and that No Man’s Land is a necessary separation.

I don’t know about you, but I’m done fighting in a war that I never started.

Will you be the soldier who opens fire, sending a barrage of hate and vitriol at our perceived enemies?

Will you be the leaders sowing discord and discontent, riling up the soldiers to commit even greater acts of harm?

Or will you be like the brave soldiers on that Christmas day, stepping onto No Man’s Land with your hands raised, silently pleading, “Please, please… don’t shoot.”

The choice is yours.

And a message to the church: A church that professes so much about agency can certainly practice it. It is in your power to ask your loyal soldiers to place their weapons down. It is your responsibility to own up to, and apologize for, our own transgressions and mistakes.

It is your duty to set the example of what a humble, integrity filled church looks like.

Will you allow your soldiers to place their weapons down and retire from their posts?

Will you lead us on a path toward abundant and overflowing Christlike love and compassion, the likes of which the church has never seen before?

Will you be brave enough to step foot onto No Man’s Land?

The choice is yours.

Photo by Crina Parasca on Unsplash

Sources: World War I Christmas Truce of 1914: What Really Happened | TIME

Mountain Meadows Massacre – Wikipedia

No One Deserves Your Total Trust Except God, Especially Not Prophets

The feature art for this post is “Abraham” by Lorenzo Monaco (Piero di Giovanni) Italian, ca. 1408–10.

When Your Choice to Follow a Prophet Disintegrates Your Family

This American Life recently featured an intriguing episode created by journalist Zach Mack about a bet Zach’s father wagered. If ten prophecies by Julie Green, his dad’s preferred prophet, were fulfilled as she predicted in 2024, Zach would owe his dad $10,000, But if these prophecies weren’t fulfilled, his dad would owe him $10,000. As Zach describes, Julie Green is “part of a growing movement within Christianity that emphasizes spiritual warfare and politics. It’s all very Trumpy and full of prophecies.” To give you an example of the prophecies, they include things like, “Barack Obama will be convicted of treason, Joe Biden will be convicted of treason, Nancy Pelosi convicted of treason, the Clintons convicted of treason and murder.”

As you can already tell, Zach’s Dad lost the bet and paid up. Did this experience make him think twice about his trust in Julie Green’s assertions as the “great revelator” she claims to be? Not at all. He just made the excuse that these things are still yet to come and still feels certain they will happen soon. Part of the problem with making sacrifices to please prophets is that there is always a creative albeit absurd way to justify the outcome being different than you once believed. Gave up all your property and money to please a prophet and it turns out the world didn’t end? You might just end up believing your righteous obedience saved the world instead of seeing the reality that you have behaved foolishly.

When Zach’s parents got married, his dad wasn’t religious, but over the years he became invested in conservative, politically-focused forms of Christian faith. His family respectfully made space for his evolving worldviews, but things started getting more and more strained as he started following online prophets. This loyalty led to new big financial decisions, which he often made without his wife’s consent. Around this time, his daughter came out to him as gay.  Zach’s dad made it clear didn’t respect her identity or path and that he felt certain a gay life was not what God willed for his daughter. The daughter stopped visiting home. His wife communicated that she would not tolerate him investing in survivalist purchases without her permission. He wasn’t willing to adjust his behaviors and they decided to separate just before Zach came home for Christmas. He lost his bet with Zach at the end of December. Even after all these losses, Zach’s dad asserts utter confidence he sees things from a superior, unquestionably right perspective due to the spiritual experiences he’s had. He isn’t open to correcting ways his beliefs and loyalties damaged his nuclear family. (It seems to me underneath the surface, Julie Green’s voice is so important to him because it speaks to and validates his personal anger and alienation as person, and that he has chosen to make this way of addressing personal wounds and anxieties his top priority in life, even at the cost of family.)

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints’ Q15 are not making predictions about political celebrities, but they do stand on platforms that encourage members to take a conservative high ground and act like confident cultural warriors. They, like the voices Zach’s dad was listening too, contribute to homophobia and transphobia festering within and harming families. They also motivate behaviors they desire in other people by asserting esoteric knowledge about the imminence of the events wrapped up into Jesus’ coming. They, like other prophets, demand great loyalty and sacrifices from their adherents. At a stake conference a year ago, my stake president shared something straight out of a top-down directive. He told members to listen to the GAs instead of academic research, resources, voices and communities online, or even personal thoughts and feelings. We were reassured LDS prophets are actually not out of touch with our life experiences. I wondered how I could stomach future stake conferences if this is the direction they are taking. I’m very concerned they tend to put upholding their own authority over the well-being and growth of members, a symptom of arrogance and self-importance, a temptation for all prophets.

I see religious and prophetic loyalty causing the same kind of damage happening in Zach’s family happening in Mormon families around me. As women around me are coming out to family members about no longer participating in church, loved ones who prioritize church loyalty respond with disrespect and arrogant spiritual judgments. You’re deceived by the philosophies of men. You’re choosing for your kids to be denied exaltation. You’ve been led away by the evil one. Religious certainty is wreaking havoc in parent-child relationships especially.

Putting total trust in prophets who claim unquestionable knowledge is hazardous to relationships. Such an approach simply doesn’t make sufficient space for human agency or for respect for differences of belief or practice. Stances of superiority and certainty are found across many prophet-led and other conservative religious worldviews. Take Islam. I recently learned the bizarre fact that Muslim converts are often actually called “reverts” because of Mohammed’s teaching that every pre-created human self promised Allah to conform to Islam. It’s a common belief that everyone is born Muslim and that human newborns have an in-born affinity for Islamic faith, but demons and parents with false traditions lead the world’s children spiritually astray. While I appreciate how many Islamic practices help people lead more meaningful lives, I would argue these superiority-touting teachings aren’t healthy or at all optimal for relationships within families or relations across faith and cultures, esp. in today’s globalized world. Latter-day Saints and so many other groups are no better as we also teach that others will need to conform to our rituals and ways of thinking to return to God’s presence.

Healthy, horizontal relationships look more like, yes we see things differently and our identities are different, but none of us is superior or completely certain of things as they really are. No one knows or sees everything. Let’s respect each others’ differences and choices and treat each other as equals. Let’s make decisions that affect all of us together whenever possible while trying to make space for everyone’s needs. 

A Faith That Works: Wisdom from the Twelve Steps

Recently I chatted with a fellow Mormon feminist about our discontent at church. Neither of us feel spiritually fed there. Many current messages fail to resonate as helpful or grate upon the values and principles we want to live by. We discussed our fatigue with endless claims to be the one true, authoritative faith and promises we’ll find fulfillment by adhering to the words of General Authorities. We’re not invested in farming out our personal spiritual authority anymore, and we don’t feel LDS prophets are supporting women properly. What can I trust in? I asked her. How can I move forward from my old ways of thinking and keep making meaning while building on my past faith and spiritual experiences? When Church itself has become riddled with anxiety, anger, and disappointment, how can I maintain a faith that works? 

She suggested I might find some clarity by studying the wisdom of the Twelve Steps Program, which teaches that part of healing is placing trust in the divine instead of other humans. Humans will always let us down at some point. They are limited, biased, and possibly mentally ill, ill-informed, selfish, controlling, or misled, and they will mess up and hurt us at some point. Humans can’t deserve our total trust and confidence. As one woman shares in the S-Anon Twelve Steps handbook my friend sent my some pages from (all quotes come from this source):

“Today I know that human beings have diseases and that they fail, but God does not fail. As long as I continue to trust my Higher Power with my life, I believe that I will be OK.”

Another passage says:

“We are familiar with dependence; in the past we depended upon other people as our source of security, validation and comfort. We see that it does not work for us to depend emotionally and spiritually on another. Now, instead, we can depend upon a Higher Power with the strength to guide us in times of need and indecision. We can be confident that God is always there for us and always desires the greatest good for us. Anyone can begin to tap into this source.”

The program teaches individuals to give up unhealthy ways of attaching to people, frameworks, and institutions they have clung to for a sense of safety, certainty, or a sense of worthiness. One prompt I found in the handbook asks:

“What thing, person, belief, or way of life might I be clinging to desperately? Being rigorously honest, what am I most afraid to surrender?”

The program also teaches participants to turn away from putting too much pressure on ourselves to fix ourselves and our lives, other people and institutions. Ultimately, we don’t put total trust in our own capacities or discernment either:

“For many of us who thought we could only trust ourselves, the concept of surrender seemed truly frightening. Yet through obsessing about others’ opinions and clinging to unrealistic expectations for ourselves and them, had we not essentially turned over our will and lives to the care of other people?…Now we can…let go of desperately trying to play God in our lives.”

The only being in the universe that deserves total trust, and in which case total trust is healthy and helpful for us, is God (or a Higher Power). My friend encouraged me to see that I already have a healthy and supportive relationship with God. She invited me to lean into this relationship more fully just as people in AA groups do. 

Step three of the Twelve Step Program is all about changing our stance such that instead of giving complete trust to people, we hand this trust to God. We trust that no matter what happens, God is there for us. God will help. We will make it through, and we can spiritually grow and find healing and peace with God’s accompaniment, come what may. Here is what 12 step participants have to say about the choice to truly put trust in God rather than humans:

“Surrendering to my Higher Power was the only way to feel calm, clear, serene, and safe. Step Three told me that I was not alone and that regardless of circumstances, I would be O.K. I could trust that my Higher Power had a plan for me that was better than I could imagine.”

“The only solution to my fear, my desire to control, and my feelings of victimization has been to live one minute at a time and to act as if I trust God”

“I trust my Higher Power to alert me to what I need to know.”

“We learned to depend upon a real Higher Power—one with the strength and wisdom to help up in times of need and indecision.”

“I’m grateful that I can trust that I will always be in the care of my Higher Power whose perspective is so much wider than my own, and that with each decision I face, I can choose His will for my life with confidence.”

To be absolutely clear here, we’re talking about personal, direct spiritual connection with the divine here, not any content dictated by religious organizations or leaders. 

This alternative approach offers the possibility of resilient faith that can work and thrive in the face of so much that has gone amok in institutional religious life. I love how this literature describes how step three can reshape our perspectives about God:

“As we were willing to make this leap of faith (step 3), we began to believe in a God who is loving, forgiving, and encouraging to us. We felt free to shed old concepts of God that made us feel ‘apart from’ or unworthy, and we began to understand new and hopeful spiritual concepts.”

The program also teaches the importance of detaching from dependence on things and people we have been too reliant on (or codependent with). To me, this seems applicable for all of us who our in some kind of transition in our relationships with the institutional church:

“Detachment–letting go of our need to control people–enhances all our relationships. It opens the door to the best possible outcome. It reduces our frustration level, and frees us and others to live in peace and harmony.”

“Detachment means we care about ourselves and others. It frees us to make the best possible decision. It enables us to set the boundaries we need to set with people. It allows us to have our feelings, to stop reacting and initiate a positive course of action. It encourages others to do the same. It allows our High Power to step in and work.”

Healthy detachment from our dependencies allows us to be closer and more attuned to God, and to find more peace in the face of past wounds and all that is wrong around us. In sharing this, I don’t mean we all need to leave the Church or cut off all connection with Church leaders in order to heal, but I do mean part of moving forward and growing requires doing things like setting boundaries such that the Church is not given authority to determine our worthiness, relationships, roles, project or life purpose. It’s a matter of recognizing ultimately, spiritual authority and power need to rest in God’s and our hands in our lives, not in the hands of other humans.

I also like how the Twelve Steps encourages people to focus just on their own healing and growth process with God rather than on trying to fix other people:

“As we focus on our own recovery…one day at a time, and (not on others’ recoveries) we will soon begin to see the benefits, including God’s gift of serenity.”

I’m hoping to find more peace and less suffering in my relationship with the institutional church and more strength, meaning and power in my personal connection with God as I move forward. May everyone find direction and peace in their journeys of spiritual growth and expansion, and spiritual serenity in difficult times.

Guest Post: When Obedience—not Love—Is the First Law of a Church, People Suffer

by Rose

In LDS theology and temple rituals, obedience is defined as the first law of heaven. Obedience is not to God but to the living prophet whom the Church says speaks for God. When obedience, not love, is the highest value of a Church, those who are marginalized often suffer. Since the Church’s inception, at times LDS leaders have restricted BIPOC and LGBTQ members from participating fully in the Church. Over the years, LDS prophets have told women how to marry, have children, dress, talk, have sex, think, eat, work, and serve—to name a few. In patriarchal, high-demand religions, too often the most vulnerable are excluded from full inclusion in decision-making processes and some are denied salvific blessings.

Years ago, the curriculum for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints focused on Christ’s Ideals for Living, a wonderful book that emphasized Christ-like qualities that we can implement in our daily lives. The current LDS curriculum emphasizes observable practices of obedience, such as temple and church attendance, which may not necessarily indicate the internal state of an individual’s soul. Because obedience—not love—is the first law of heaven in the LDS church, sometimes leaders marginalize the vulnerable, oppress the poor and widows, and ignore the suffering of the needy.

LDS members are told to pay tithing before feeding their children, which places their children at risk for malnutrition and stunting. The Bountiful Children’s Foundation has identified over 100,000 LDS children who are undernourished, yet LDS pilots programs provides food for only a small number of these children. The LDS Church could feed its starving children with a fraction of what is costs to build one temple.

In the United States, as political leaders double down on attacking immigrants, the LDS church recently issued a statement saying that they will no longer provide any housing assistance for these vulnerable folks, many of whom has fled horrific conditions to come to America and harvest our crops, build our houses, and clean our office buildings.

LDS leaders now disallow transgender members from using church restrooms without supervision or serving in callings involving children or youth. Members who transition are punished by removing their Church membership or privileges. When Jesus said to “love one another,” he did not exempt folks of marginalized races, sexual orientation, age, immigration status, ability, or gender.

If love—not obedience—were the first law of the gospel, the LDS Church would care as much about feeding its starving children and widows, showing compassion for the unhoused and the immigrant, and respecting its LGBTQ members as it does in building temples and  investing in the stock market, while it moves to become a trillion dollar church by 2044 according to the Widow’s Mite Report.

Jesus said that those God appoints to eternal salvation have helped those who were hungry, strangers or foreigners, the sick, and those in prison.  He repeatedly served the poor, the sick and suffering, and the marginalized, and repeatedly urged both Church leaders and followers to help the poor. In the future, I will give my tithes to legitimate, transparent humanitarian organizations doing just that.

To follow Jesus, I am serving  those who are marginalized, including my neighbors who are unhoused, poor, and suffering. Instead of giving my tithing to a Church that hoards two-thirds of its tithes in investment accounts, I will be following Jesus and helping the poor instead. As Jana Reiss wrote, “At tithing settlement this year, I declared myself a full tithe-payer and explained why none of that money has gone to the Church. I don’t know what fallout there will be from this decision, if any. Frankly, whether I continue to hold a temple recommend is less important than whether at least a few kids who didn’t have food or access to education will have meals, school, and the basics. I should have done this a long time ago.”

 

Rose finds joy in serving the marginalized and in speaking up for them.

When Humanity Goes Down the Wrong Fork in the Road: Resisting Corruption and Oppression in the World and in the Church

The feature image for this post is a print of a witch burning in Derenburg, Germany, c.e. 1555.

After I wrote “On Witch Trials and Mormon Feminism,” a reader recommended that I listen to BBC’s Witch podcast series, which I thoroughly enjoyed. Part of the season finale offers a fascinating story (starting around 15:00) that I’d like to share and reflect on here.

Patricia Catherine McCabe is a member of Diné nation from New Mexico. She follows the Lakota spiritual way of life, which she describes this way: “We’re a visioning culture, and that means that we have different ceremonies to ask for input from the larger community of the rest of life and also the spiritual community, and then we receive guidance and vision for how we might go about our life in a good way.”

At one point, oppressive experiences led her to have unexpected visions of what happened to women during the witch trials in early modern Europe. As she recounts:

“I had a really hard work experience in which I was feeling really persecuted by all these men who were in a position of power, and for some reason, I feel like that just triggered me starting to have a lot of very, very detailed, powerful visions about what took place during the witch hunts in Europe. And it was pretty baffling for me, because why would an Indigenous woman from what we now call the Southwest United States be contacted by that period in history?”

These visions were accompanied by an explanation. As she recounts:

“I was told that that period was an archetypal wounding of humanity, but what I make of that is that it was a place where there was a fork in the road in our travels as human beings on the earth, and we took a fork that has been playing out in creating difficulties for us for a very long time.”

She goes on to explain how this was related to her own life and family history as an indigenous North American:

“I came to realize the way of the circle that was all across Europe, which reflect[ed] a [greater] acknowledgement of everybody having purpose and [a] role, and something to contribute, was systematically dismantled in this process, and also what I saw was that the methodologies for the way of breaking up cultures–that those methodologies were developed deeply in Europe and then they were put on the ships, and that’s how they were so effective in landing in all of the other continents and the colonization that took place afterwards. Those methodologies had been honed and developed on their own people in Europe. And so, I saw they fought it just as we as indigenous people are fighting it right now.” 

Further, the visions communicated that Patricia was being called upon to help heal the wounding that had been done: 

“I was told that there was a way to retell the story in Europe of who the woman is to creation, and who creation is to the woman, and that if we were to go and tell a different story about the sacred role, the dignity and respect of the woman, that that would actually realign all that took place during the witch hunts.” Patricia went on to organize a special series of events across Europe where indigenous women and others from around the world could gather together and retell stories about womanhood to help heal wounds. As she explains, “our function wasn’t to talk necessarily about the witch hunts, but we all knew what the context was. We all knew why we were there” and “our role was just to talk about the truth that we understood of who we are as women.” 

When asked if the great wound that started with the witch trials can be healed in some way, Pat says, “It’s already healing. I believe in the ceremony. And so we did it the way that we were told to do it, and it was received. So I have to believe that it’s all in motion right now.” 

I was deeply touched by Pat’s story and how she carried out her project and resonated with her. Learning about the witch hunts was an unexpected paradigm-shifting, spiritual experience for me. I too felt like the spirit world wanted me to understand the deeper significance of what had happened and how it relates to my own experience and the problems my own circles have faced: both American society, and the Church of Jesus Chirst of Latter-day Saints.

As I’m learning about in Dominion, Jesus, his gospel brought more kindness, tolerance and compassion into the world. His life improved civilizations, providing the once brutal western world with a new framework that valued compassion for the poor, sick, and downtrodden. 

But there is no divinity in movements that persecute and oppress like the witch trials. There is no goodness in grinding on the face of the disadvantaged and powerless and murdering for the sake of seeking power and authority. There is no goodness in excusing numbness and apathy toward the suffering of others. Such things have wrongly attached themselves to Christianity throughout the centuries. Whatever oppresses women, the marginalized, or minority cultures or forms of spirituality are a different beast that is not divine. I agree with Pat that the witch trials are a quintessential example of this wicked phenomenon, and something that has continued to be repeated since the early modern era. 

Pat’s story stoked my dissatisfaction with the oppression of women’s spirituality in Mormonism. I’m not content with a tradition in which women don’t participate in or help to create inspired content for important spiritual rites of passage and other religious rituals. I dream of an LDS community in which women take up space, in which their spiritual creativity and authority matters. A version of the Church in which they are treated as full and complete equals to men, in which top down and vertical structures don’t reign, and no one’s spirituality is oppressed.

Pat’s story also gave me a sense of seeing eye to eye and speaking heart to heart as women and people who desire a better and more free world across cultures, and a calming sense that “we’re all in this together.” I’m not indigenous, most of my heritage stems from the UK, but Pat invited me to think about how my predecessors were not just colonizers, they are also among those whose folk cultures and personal spiritualities have been suppressed, controlled, and trampled on.

The most recent histories when this clearly happened are among my Mormon ancestors. In my mind, they were not given enough freedom to flourish and to develop themselves and the meanings in their lives. The ugly and oppressive things that latched onto the restored church, including a stubborn brand of patriarchy, polygamy, the unrighteous exercise of power and authority over members and their personal lives, and the prioritization to act out of institutional survival anxiety stripped our people of good things that could have been. And these ugly turns continue to lead to new chapters now when we’re seeing many of the Church’s wisest and most spiritual and healthy people losing interest. 

As Trump’s corrupt government churns out one disturbing and dissonant action after another, I see that since Pat shared her story, the world has taken another dramatic and unfortunate fork in the road that continues the struggles that started in the early modern period. The witch trials were a tactic used to grub for greater power, religious authority, and money grubbing at the cost of women’s sanity, well-being, and lives. The men involved chose to become indifferent to immense suffering in order to puff up and benefit themselves. The same thing is happening now. Trump’s recent cruelty toward migrants and Ukraine, and his treatment of queer individuals, women, and people of color is, like the witch trials, a selfish vie for yet greater power at the cost of others’ suffering and resources. Like during the witch trials, inhumane attitudes toward consequences on others and their suffering and potential deaths is the current order of things. Also like during the witch trials, this power-grubbing and moral numbness is wrongly trying to cling to the cause of Christianity. I am deeply concerned about American men resonating with Trump and the ways they are following his lead. Disenfranchised young men are one of the reasons Trump was able to be elected again. Many American men are taking a tragic path toward hatred, misogyny, violence, dehumanization, and inhumanity. 

How much absurdity and humiliation as a people will we have to suffer before the corruption ends? How much damage will be done before things can improve? Only the American people can change this course. American men need some kind of spiritual revolution to get them in touch with better meanings and purpose, love, and compassion. 

How much dysfunction will we have to face at church before the difficulties will have any kind of truly satisfactory and healthy reparations? This week Exponent bloggers discussed why so many women are leaving the Church and why their families come with them. We discussed how women are socially and spiritually oppressed at Church and the common experience of reaching a point when nothing at Church really nurtures or supports women as they graduate from young adulthood and develop greater spiritual maturity. 

We truly need both our country and our church to wake up and move down a different fork in the road if these institutions are to flourish.

How do we resist? On the national or global level, this can be by refusing to become like Trump and his followers. By refusing to be numb to suffering. By refusing to become hateful, bigoted, or egotistic. By refusing to buy into Trumpers’ Christian nationalism and their arrogant and cruel approaches to those on the margins. By refusing to let the upset we feel ruin the meaning and goodness of daily life. By cultivating joy and healing and flourishing for ourselves and the people around us in the midst of it all.

At church, we can resist oppression by refusing to let the Church’s failings and numbness to women’s needs and suffering squelch our spiritual growth or embitter us. It’s tempting to let complaints, anger and grief about Church take over the spiritual dimensions of our lives and distract us from the question of how we want to live. Resistance can look like setting boundaries and detaching from whatever level of church commitment we would resent. It looks like following where our deeper Self or soul leads us to grow, developing new spiritual gifts, exploring spiritually, and taking up new compassionate and creative projects. Resistance for me right now looks like still attending Church, but realizing that Church literally takes just two out of 112 waking hours in my week that don’t matter or nourish me nearly as much as they used to. The real spiritual work of my life is happening outside of this every day. Connection with God and spiritual values and practices matter even more than they used to. Meanwhile, the importance of the Church and its way of thinking and what it wants me to do are fading.

Exponent II and its community are also a wonderful form of resistance and healing in both arenas. Pat’s words give me hope in the power of feminist Mormon projects like Exponent II to heal wounds of misogyny, spiritual abuse, and oppressive Church policies through words that we share. There is spiritual power when women raise their voices. Healing, peace, and empowerment can come to us as we define womanhood, Mormon history and spirituality in circles here. We evoke immense growth and healing for ourselves and others through our words. Like Pat, I have faith we’re doing inspired, much needed, healing work at Exponent II and other similar communities. Our task as Mormon feminist writers and thinkers is really daunting right now. But it has never been more needed or vital.