Helene Lerner's Blog, page 83

How To Know When To Move On To A New Job Part 2

In the previous blog post, we examined the situation with my client where she had completely surpassed the growth in her current workplace. We looked at why she missed these signs, and then we explored the first 3 tell-tale signs that let you know it’s time to move on to a new job. 

Today, I will explore two additional signs that are good indicators that it’s time to move on to a new job. Here they are.

Sign #4. They don’t share your values.

This is one of the hardest but most crystal clear signs. When your core values—such as integrity, honesty, freedom to share your opinion, balance in work and life, etc—when those come into direct conflict with that of your company, then it’s a sign to leave. 

You will always be able to find an employer that is aligned to your core values.

Sign #5. The passion is gone.

Passion may be a luxury, but if you are a serious career gal, then you need this little ingredient to sustain you on your long journey. So demand it. 

If you feel no passion towards your company, its culture, and its people, if you don't feel a rise out of going into work each day and interacting with your co-workers or partaking in the culture, why are you there? 

Find a place that excites you and one that you can brag to friends and family about. This may seem small but your internal happiness is key to your outside career growth. It’s all connected, and you cannot neglect one and hope to accomplish the other. So always develop your awareness so that you can create a holistic approach to your career and your life.

-Farnoosh Brock, Business and Career Coach, Prolific Living Inc.

How to Know When to Move On to a New Job Part 1

I had a client—let's call her Jane—who was driven, ambitious and beyond over-qualified (MBA, years of experience, multiple certifications, excellent track record) and she worked for a small company where her management seemed to adore her. 

One problem: Jane was not getting promoted to that higher level role she’d been eyeing. 

Jane had already been promoted a few times, but she was going for that final big push to sit near the top. So we worked together, explored her strengths, her gaps, and the quality and depth of her relationships with her management and executive leadership team. She scored high on all fronts. 

On the surface, there were no apparent areas that she needed to "work" on—she needed to keep doing what she was doing, but if they were going to fill that leadership spot, there was no sign that it was going to her yet again. 

Does any of this sound familiar? You don't need to be shooting for the top leadership seat at your company's board to relate to Jane. What she needed was to realize that she had reached the growth limitations at her own environment and it was time to move on to a new opportunity. 

Within several weeks, Jane started interviewing at several prospective companies for a leadership position that suited her strengths. With the negotiation coaching that we worked on, she was able to land her ideal position with a very handsome bump in compensation. 

In retrospect, we found some tell-tale signs for Jane that showed her it was indeed time to move on. 

Here are the first 3 of the 5 signs to look for if your career plans don't jive well with your company:

Sign #1: Your management doesn’t want to see you grow.

You know the signs. You are qualified for a role and for no good reason your higher-ups are creating excuses to obstruct your growth and development. If you feel this is happening consistently and communication with management has not given you any specific actions to take to solve it, it’s time to move on.

Sign #2: Your company doesn’t invest in you.

You see that in order to have career growth—classes, workshops, or conferences are needed. You’re also getting a clear sign that your company is not willing to invest in you. 

What's worse, they may not even be willing to support you as you invest in yourself. These are clear signs that you need to find a new job.

Sign #3: You have outgrown your role.

If you are no longer learning, you've outgrown your role. And if you don't enjoy any daily or weekly challenges in your position, then you need to find one that provides that for you. But what if you can't? 

When you cannot imagine yourself getting challenged in other areas of the company (and remember, challenges help us grow in our careers), then you need to shift your gaze to a new direction.

In the next blog post, I’ll share with you the other two tell-tale signs that say it's time to make a career change.

-Farnoosh Brock, Business and Career Coach, Prolific Living Inc.

How to Become a Social Media Maven

Whether you're advertising for a business or honing your personal brand, a strong social media presence is crucial. However, standing out can be a challenge. We spoke to experts Stephanie Abrams and Courtney Spritzer, founders of the digital marketing and PR agency SocialFly. They gave us their best tips on standing out from the crowd.

Know your audience. Rather than going for a broad reach, figure out who your audience is and what type of material they respond to. Stephanie says, “If you know who you're trying to reach and what they actually like, then you can craft content around your exact target market.” 

Keep an eye on your competitors. Find brands you’re similar to, and check out what’s working for them and what's not. It’s especially important in business to keep tabs on what's going on in your industry. “On Instagram, I'm following a lot of fashion brands. It's good for us to stay on top of what the major players are doing,” says Courtney.

Pay attention to the climate. Be sensitive to what's going on in the world. Courtney warns, “We've seen this many times with big companies that plan content ahead of time. God forbid a tragedy strikes and you have a tweet scheduled about the sale you're having.” Make sure your posts are appropriate and relevant.

Use social media for good. Sometimes it seems like everyone's personal lives are now public. Choose carefully what to share and what to keep to yourself.  “Everyone has the ability to share their opinion at any time, no matter what it is or if it's appropriate. Now everyone can be a reporter,” says Stephanie. Don't misuse social media: respect everyone's privacy, including your own! 

Consistency is key.  Once you develop the voice of your brand, use it everywhere. Courtney’s advice is: “Think about who your audience is and how you talk to them. Decide what your voice and tone should be on social media. Be as consistent as possible, because over time that becomes memorable.”  Always remember what your long term goals are, and what impact you want to have. Your online presence should reflect that with every post. 

Interview conducted by Alana Fallis (WomenWorking.com Intern)

Is Working Hard Really the Only Answer?

Examine your beliefs. Revisit your assumptions. That's my heart-felt advice for you.

When I was in your shoes years ago, one of my many false assumptions was this: Work hard and you'll get promoted. Work hard and you'll get rewarded. Work hard and you'll move up. Work hard and everything will fall into place.

Well, it just so turns out that working hard is not the sole solution to advancing in the corporate world, and when I found this out in my late 20s (through bitter experience, because nobody spells it out for you, how inconvenient is that?) I was horrified. 

I felt betrayed and angry that all of my hard work did not translate to getting a raise and a promotion, and that made me curious to find out what did. What then is the secret to getting ahead and sitting on leadership teams, hob-nobbing with real decision makers, and having actual influence at corporate? What must I do, I wondered, to turn my career 'ship' around? 

Listen, hard work is a desirable trait of good employees, I'm not denying that. But it's more like a virtue to exercise strategically, rather than a default mode you exhibit at all times. I am saying that it's not all about hard work. In fact, working too hard can sabotage your career success. 

Equally important is having a clear understanding of your position and your level of influence. Then you need to identify the key people who can help you increase your level of influence and start a relationship with them. Next you need to secure yourself a mentor. And never skip the office party—here's why.

These are just some of the things you need to be doing as you build yourself and your reputation at the workplace because here's the bitter truth:

Your manager knows that making the hardest working person develop more influence is a LOT HARDER than making the influential person work hard when need be. They almost always choose the latter, and you want to increase your chances of getting recognized. 

So as you build your awareness on why working hard is not the sole solution to corporate success, check out the 8 reasons you're not getting ahead at work here.

What do you think? Do you see working hard as the ultimate gateway to your success or have you learned otherwise from your experience at work? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

-Farnoosh Brock, Business and Career Coach, Prolific Living Inc.

Gabby Bernstein on Finding Peace in a Chaotic World

I sat down for a Q+A with Gabby Bernstein, best-selling author, speaker, and spiritual teacher. Gabby gave me her tips on staying calm and focused under stress. But first, I asked her how she came to spirituality.

GABBY: I knew I detoured in my teens and 20’s, and veered away from the spiritual practices I was taught as a child. I tried to find my own way looking for answers outside myself. I was an entrepreneur, running my own PR business from 21-25, and I became addicted to the NYC night life. By the time I was 25, I was severely into drugs and alcohol. I had a food and work addiction too. Those addictions opened me up to reach for something deeper, to reconnect with my spiritual self.  

HELENE: In the middle of a stressful day, how do you find your anchor—avoid being taken out by the small stuff? 

GABBY: While we can't avoid certain experiences, we can experience them differently. We live in a chaotic world and can’t hide from that. So the real question is, what are we going to do about it? A big part of my work is giving people the tools to be mindful and aware of how they’re affected by the world around them, and how they can anchor back into a more peaceful energy. Being at peace at all times is impossible—it’s about how quickly we come back to that anchor.

HELENE: How would you describe mindfulness?

GABBY: Being aware of how your thoughts and energy are affecting your life. With this awareness we can choose to see things differently—choose a meditation practice to realign our energy. 

HELENE: For people who have never meditated and may be frightened by it, what practice would you recommend to start?

GABBY: “Peace Is in Your Pulse” is beautiful Kundalini meditation where you put your pointer finger and middle finger on your pulse. Once you find your pulse, recite the mantra “Sat Nam.” It means “truth identified.” Recite this mantra for 3 minutes as you feel your pulse come and go. You will reorganize your energy and get back to your anchor. Have an intention to set yourself free.

Real Myths That Hold Women Back - Part 2

Welcome back! Yesterday we shared part one of this blog post. Read it here. Let’s dive into the other two myths that hold women back in corporate workplaces.

Myth 2 - Women do not know how to negotiate well on salary and promotion.

You can learn anything, including the best negotiation tactics on salary and promotion, but if you go in believing that you are poor at the task, you will perform poorly. So while you need to believe that you can be good at it, you do have to spend time learning the skill and practicing it. That is the only gap between you and a guy who is a master negotiator. Easy! It has nothing to do with you being a woman, just learning the necessary steps. 

So look up some resources, get yourself a coach, or book a session with me to learn how to negotiate the best outcome for your next salary or promotion at the job. 

Myth 3 - Women are afraid of getting a no, so they don't ask.

Everyone is afraid of getting a no. It is human nature. We seek approval and love and praise, and shy away from criticism. Unfortunately, we associate a “no” with criticism. They are unrelated. A no is simply a delayed yes. A no means not now, not yet, or not yes based on how you positioned your offer. A no is simply an invitation to ask again, to find a better way to getting to yes, and to challenge you to think differently about your situation. 

“No” is wonderful! Remember, a no is not a rejection, but rather a response to your request. My challenge for you is to go after a no tomorrow. Make friends with it, be less uncomfortable, and you will be ahead of all your peers—men and women—in a great area of life. 

Now that you know the myths, cheer up, because opportunities abound for those who believe. 

Even when we learn that something is not true, our habits force us in that direction when things go wrong, so expect to have a period of re-training your mind. For instance, next time your girlfriend tells you how she got a “no” to a raise she asked for and says, “Well, it’s typical! Women always get a no,” pause before you jump into agreement and instead, ask: “Is it really true? Let’s assume that’s not the case. What else could it be?” And challenge your old beliefs. 

You can only advance in your job and create new fresh opportunities for yourself when you believe you can make it happen. That is your homework for now.

-Farnoosh Brock, Business and Career Coach, Prolific Living Inc.

3 Real Myths That Hold Women Back - Part 1

If you are familiar with the corporate workplace, you have probably heard about the salary gap between men and women. You learn that few women hold leadership positions at the top in companies, and you hear how women should do better to "close the gap" etc, etc. 

You may be determined to be the first woman to break the glass ceiling and show them how it's done. You tell yourself that you're different, you're ambitious, you're a hard worker, you're a go-getter—until you face the inevitable career disappointments when it comes to your own salary negotiation and promotion. 

Is the system really unfair? Before you feel any more self-pity, let's examine the evidence against the "unfairness." Do you not know at least one woman whom you admire who is holding a top leadership position, a successful role in her company, and also living a happy healthy life? 

We all know at least one such women. So the real question is, what did they do right that you and other women may not be doing right? 

Personal story: When I was denied my obvious promotion after meeting every single criteria, I thought I had done something wrong along the way. I was going to find out what it was and fix it, but then a girlfriend in the same department planted a terrible seed in my mind, "It's because you are a woman, Farnoosh!" A part of me believed her. 

For the next two years, I let that false assumption lead my actions, until I learned the truth: You hold yourself back permanently if you choose to believe the unfairness against your sex. So for starters, do not believe it.

Put your bitterness aside, and let's focus on clearing your mind of the top three myths that you have been led to believe about women not advancing in corporate. 

Myth 1 - Women are genetically poor at math, science and technical fields.

I have a client who is a brilliant MIT graduate and was one of the top notch aeronautics engineers at Lockheed Martin, until she started her own successful business. I also have two cousins with PhDs in electrical engineering, and I hold 2 degrees in that same field. This is just a small sample of women that I know in my circle. If you look for proof, you will find that there are incredibly successful women in any field, even if the numbers are low. That means, women are just as good in any field that they choose to be, but fewer choose to go into math and science and technical fields. It has nothing to do with ability. Abolish that thought!

I will leave you here with the first myth and share the next two myths in our next blog post. 

-Farnoosh Brock, Business and Career Coach, Prolific Living Inc.

New Opportunities for Paying-It-Forward

Caroline Modarressy-Tehrani speaks with confidence, conviction, and a desire to make a difference, as one of HuffPost Live’s anchors, but she wasn’t always this way. When growing up in London’s East End, she was the target of bullying because she physically developed faster, was mixed race (her father was Iranian and her mother was a light-haired Catholic Brit), and she was bookish. Her mother was a big supporter, and guided her with these wise words, “Everything that you put out into the universe comes back 3 times” whether negative or positive.

Thanks to the help of her seventh year (sixth grade) teacher, Ms. Mason, Caroline began to develop her own voice. The encouragement of this strong woman gave her the confidence to excel above her age level. She continued to surpass expectations and was encouraged to apply to Oxford, where she attended. 

Landing a job as a journalist after graduation, she wasn’t feeling fulfilled. “I felt like the kind of journalism I was doing was not satisfying. So I took a mid-career Masters at Columbia University.” She was ultimately hired at HuffPost Live as an associate producer and she credits her opportunities to Arianna, Allison Girvin, and Cindy Vanegas, her current executive producer who continues to encourage her. “I went up to Allison and said I want to do more—I want to be on camera. She said ok. It’s not only having confidence, you also need to have a confident female leader, who is willing to give you an opportunity.” 

Paying-it-forward is important to Caroline, who acts as a mentor to associate producers below her. She also has many hopes for young women around the globe, here are her top 10. 

10 things you wish for young girls around the world 

That young girls everywhere can learn in an environment free from violence.
Equal pay! 
Freedom over their own bodies.
Unimpeded access to education—girls should never be barred from learning.
An end to forced marriage.
That we put a stop to female genital mutilation.
More female role models! 
An end to persecution of young LGBT girls.
More women in power to highlight girls' issues.
That we continue to listen to girls’ stories and hear their voices!

In the very near future Caroline is getting married. We wish her the very best. 

See what Caroline's up to by following her Twitter account, and catch her on HuffPost Live. 

How To Be an Entrepreneur While Keeping Your Day Job

See if you can relate to this: You are a successful accomplished career woman, with loads of accolades and praise, yet a part of wants to start your own business and pursue your own ideas. 

You feel torn, because you can't—and perhaps don’t even want to—quit your high-paying stable job with its future opportunities, but you can't ignore your heart's desire to do something on the side either.

What should you do? 

If you feel the calling to chart your own course, the best advice I can give you from personal experience and coaching is this: Find a way to do both. Start your business as a side-hustle alongside your career. Build it up slowly while you still keep your main profession. 

This way, you can stay in your job and find a way to feed your soul. 

That’s what I did, even though my soul-feeding project turned into a full-time business (that led me to hire the hubby), yours can go either way. The point is, you must answer the calling of your soul when it comes knocking.

Most women don't recognize that the transition from employee to entrepreneur doesn’t happen overnight. It can sometimes take months or years. But while you can’t build it overnight, you can build a little every day. And if you keep at it long enough, you’ll look back one day and you see a full-fledged thriving business staring back at you.

That's the big picture, but let me break down this super quick process which will help you approach the business dream as a career-minded woman in the workforce.

Do not think about quitting your job. Think about starting your business.
Figure out your life purpose first with this test.
Identify your strengths. Find your passions, talents, and skills. 
Decide on the business idea. One that will lead you to happiness, meaningful impact, and an income stream.
Teach yourself how to build a business while working your day job.
Try and fail. That's right. Try and fail at your first business idea.
Start over again. Do this until you succeed and you shall!
Identify role models. Find a group of similar women in your exact shoes and join them.
Hold yourself accountable. Your group will help as you build your business.
Seek extra help. If you need help taking the above steps, watch my free 5-video series course here to get started.

My biggest hope for you is this: If you feel the urge to start a business, do it now, not later. There is never going to be a perfect time to start your business. There is also no pressure to quit your job if you start your business at the first inkling rather than ignoring the calling and waiting until you are fed up with your career. 

Over time, the right path for you—employment or entrepreneurship—will become clear, but one thing is certain: If you have so much as an itch to start something of your own, do it. Do it now and let time grow your seeds into full grown trees with your daily efforts. 

So tell me, have you ever dreamt of starting your own business?

-Farnoosh Brock, Business and Career Coach, Prolific Living Inc.

How To Dress Like an Executive Fashionista

Your appearance plays a big factor in the workplace. It can weigh heavily in whether you’re promoted, demoted, or fired. It’s a silent window showing others how you see, treat, respect or disrespect yourself personally and professionally. With all that on the line how can you stay on top of trends and maintain a respectable reputation at the office? 

You must ALWAYS look like an authority at what you do, but must still keep on top of what’s new and trending. That philosophy holds true in fashion and any business interested in growing and staying on top. 

As a woman who teeters in and out of the corporate world as a trend expert, I have to maintain a professional appearance while keeping true to my style ID. Trend inspired contemporary looks (even in the most traditional work environments) can send a message to your employers, colleagues, and staff that you are a Forward Thinker. It’s vital to show respect for your industry or craft (you don’t want to see your dentist with an extremely low cut blouse or your child’s teacher with a high slit skirt that draws unfavorable and inappropriate attention, correct?). It’s about finding the balance between today’s styles and what is historically acceptable in your industry. This delicate balance will portray you as a Modern Day Professional with your finger on the pulse of tomorrow. How do you do that, you ask? It’s quite simple. 

Keeping your style statement respectable to your industry, age, physique, and silhouette is first and key. Then incorporating new trends in color, style and patterns for the season will make you the person to watch every morning at the office. You’ll soon find others following your lead by wearing a little more color or wearing a pencil skirt one day, instead of that same tired black pantsuit your fellow colleagues may wear like a uniform. You want to be a catalyst for positive change in your workplace, starting with your look, then your performance at work. Working hard to maintain a position of authority beyond just your work expertise, but in your style statement too, is viewed well by higher ups and executives. Soon they’ll want you to come play with them in the sandbox, trust me. Your knack for blazing trails and influencing your peers to follow you (looking and performing better) will add to your list of great attributes and help open up opportunities for you in the future. 

Here’s 2 Easy Spring Trends that an Executive Fashionista can use right now: 

Classic Trench Coat/ Sleeveless Duster:  Try throwing it over your shoulders for a more dramatic effect or try a sleeveless duster which is a perfect indoor and outdoor executive look. Both styles work well with an everyday office suiting/dress, a casual Friday look of a crisp top with a blazer, or you can wear the duster as your blazer with a thin belt at your waist, dark denim jeans, and heels.  

The Kimono Belt: A perfect example of how to take a trend and simplify it for the workplace. The pajama top, soft pajama pant, and kimono robe are popular trends; none of which are appropriate for most corporate environments. However, bringing in this one style element over a dress or with pants is a simple way to bring this trend to work with executive level sophistication and style.

Pamela Watson is an experienced stylist who currently works as the trend expert for Builders of Style, where she prepares A-list clients for red carpet events, music videos, concerts and award shows. Have a question for Pamela? Either ask below or email administrator [at] womenworking [dot] com.