Helene Lerner's Blog, page 46

3 ways to feel happier and healthier right now

[image error]No one likes feeling blue, but we all go through tough times. How do we experience more good times than bad times, and feel healthier overall, try these easy tips:

Challenge your Negative Thinking. Yes, right now, what are you thinking about yourself, a problem you're having, a loved one...be aware of what you are telling yourself. 

Have the Courage to Do It Differently. Often the same old, same old, feels safe. Thinking better and bigger takes courage because you are probably stepping out of your comfort zone.

What Bad Habit are You Giving Into? Is your knee-jerk reaction to coping with a challenge, numbing out. A bad habit will give you temporary relief but you know you'll feel horrible later on, so stop doing it.

 

 

5 Quotes To Inspire Confidence When You Are Shaky

 

1. "No matter how different women are, we all seem to share the guilt that we're not doing enough. If anything, I would say that as long as you're doing your best, it's more than enough."
- Jessica Alba

2. “It’s always a sign that I should do something if it scares me.” 

- Natalie Portman 

3. Don't settle for average. Bring your best to the moment. Then, whether it fails or succeeds, at least you know you gave all you had. We need to live the best that's in us.
- Angela Bassett

4. “You have to surrender to the fact that you are of too many in a highly competitive field where it is difficult to stand out. Over time, through your work, you will demonstrate who you are and what you bring to the field. Just stay with it and keep working.”
- Lisa Kudrow

5. “I just love expanding my horizons and growing as an artist. The only way you get to do that is by doing something that scares you or takes you out of your comfort zone.”
- Vanessa Hudgens

3 Ways to Disarm Toxic Coworkers

Knowing how to handle negative people is crucial to advancing your career and having a positive workday. While we can't always avoid problem individuals, we can use certain strategies to minimize their impact on our lives. Here are some things to keep in mind.

Don't take the bait. They may say things to provoke you. If you feel yourself being drawn into an argument, resist the urge to respond. Pause before you act in a way you might regret.

Have compassion. People who are unhappy with themselves may try to take it out on you. Realize that their behavior probably has little to do with you and is more about them.

Keep to your priorities. It's easy to get distracted by gossip and negative remarks, but that will take you away from achieving your goals, and you don't want to do that.

3 Tips for Dealing With Difficult Relatives

Most of us have one family member we know can be difficult. Here are some ways to detach from them and focus on what's enjoyable.

Don't take it personally. If a family member says something critical about your career, your personal life--or even the sweater you're wearing--don't take it to heart. It probably has more to do with them than with you.

Be OK with imperfection. Many of us feel pressure to fix the "perfect" meal or find the "perfect" present. But the season is really about coming together and sharing with people we care about. So if a relative puts down your gift or criticizes your cookies, remind yourself that it's not necessary to live up to their expectations.

Accept them as they are. This is not the time to try to change them. Actually, you can't! Try to take their words and actions in stride.

4 Ways Not To Take It Personally

When someone has an opinion about us, we may believe it to be true. But is it? We need to be the final judge.

Know what's true. When someone judges you, it's not really about you. It is actually their "story." Taking what they say as true distorts what's really happening.

Stay centered. You can't change people. But you have a choice to separate what others project about you from your self-concept.

Listen to your self-talk and question it. Criticism from others signals that judgmental voice in your head. If you listen to it, you lose confidence. Stand up to your negative self-talk instead.

4 Ways To Get The Credit You Deserve

Taking charge of your personal brand is part of establishing your distinct reputation. Here's how:

Heighten your personal awareness. Sometimes we take our own accomplishments for granted. Review your presentations, projects and ideas and make note of what you've done.This will increase your confidence, as well.

Tell others. Inform your boss, mentors, sponsors, colleagues and friends when you have achieved something special. Be succinct and casual. They can talk it up to others, too.

Speak with confidence. No preambles such as, "This really isn't such a big deal." Statements like that rob you of power and undermine your work. Use power words and phrases instead.

Publish your achievements in social media. Tweeting or sharing on LinkedIn and Facebook will build your reputation and personal brand.

 

 

 

 

Andrea Zintz, President, Strategic Leadership Resources (SLR)
www.strategicleadershipresources.com

3 Ways to Transform Negative Thoughts and Be Happier

 

Here are a few tips on how to get the upper hand when that inner-critic is bringing you down.

Dismantle it. When you notice negative mind-talk, ask yourself, "Is it true?" Most likely, the answer is no. These thoughts are not based on fact.

Understand it. Take the time to reflect on where they come from. They're probably the result of insecurities from the past. Have compassion for yourself. 

Move on. Don't let them stop you from working towards big goals. Yes, it's uncomfortable to step out in a new way, but go for it!

3 Signs It’s Time For A Change

Change can be scary, but sometimes it’s necessary to make our lives better. How do you know when it’s time for a change? Here are 3 signs to look for:

You’re just going through the motions
Whether it’s with a job or a relationship, if there’s no excitement, it’s time to make a change. If you’re bored at work, ask your supervisor if there are new projects you can work on or when you can expect a promotion. When your relationship starts to feel stagnant, have a serious discussion with your partner, and try getting back that initial spark. 

You’re not learning anymore
An important part of growing is learning. If you feel like you’re at a standstill at work or at home, learning a new skill can bring a refreshing change to your life. Many schools, including some Ivy Leagues, offer free online courses. If you already have too much on your plate to take on a new class, try listening to Podcasts during your commute or workout. You can find shows on everything from economics, to world news and politics, to health and relationships. You’ll feel like you’re learning something new without devoting a lot of time.

You have a short fuse
You’re usually able not to get distracted by petty nuances, but you notice that you’re getting upset seemingly over nothing. You ask yourself, “what’s really going on?” The answer is, you’ve stayed here too long, and you’re unhappy.

4 Ways Confident Women Show Their Strengths

Caring enough to want to help another woman get noticed
A confident woman will use her strengths to advance her career. She probably had mentors who helped her get where she is today. She knows the value of paying it forward, and she does it because she genuinely wants to help.

Not only offering advice, but really listening
She has been through her share of tough times, and understands that we don’t always need a friend telling us what to do. She knows the importance of listening to show you care. 

Accepting that she will not always get it right
A confident woman will make mistakes – she sees it as part of growing – but she will try not to make the same mistake twice. 

Having values and knowing what her priorities are
She lives with integrity and fights for what she believes is right. She is not afraid to say “no,” when it goes against the grain.

5 Quotes To Help You Feel Better When You’re Unhappy

“I am determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I may find myself. For I have learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness is determined not by our circumstance but by our disposition.” 
– Martha Washington

“Don't wait around for other people to be happy for you. Any happiness you get you've got to make yourself.”
– Alice Walker

“Some days are just bad days, that's all. You have to experience sadness to know happiness, and I remind myself that not every day is going to be a good day, that's just the way it is!”
– Dita Von Teese

“Every human walks around with a certain kind of sadness. They may not wear it on their sleeves, but it's there if you look deep.”
– Taraji P. Henson

“First, accept sadness. Realize that without losing, winning isn't so great.”
– Alyssa Milano