Helene Lerner's Blog, page 195

Dare to Reflect: Free to Be You!

We often carry thoughts about ourselves that are really just ghosts from our pasts. We accept what parents, teachers, or ex-bosses may have thought of us to be true. Are we really free if we are listening to this negative mind-talk? The answer is no.

When we take on these false beliefs, we can't live fully and step out in new ways. We are unable to be in our power. But today, with awareness, we can see ourselves differently. With courage, we can think bigger about our lives and what it is possible for us to accomplish. It may not feel comfortable, but growth rarely does.

Here's to your independence!  I wish you the best in all areas of your life.

 

Free to be you!

We often carry thoughts about ourselves that are really just ghosts from our pasts. We accept what parents, teachers, or ex-bosses may have thought of us to be true. Are we really free if we are listening to this negative mind-talk? The answer is no.

When we take on these false beliefs, we can't live fully and step out in new ways. We are unable to be in our power. But today, with awareness, we can see ourselves differently. With courage, we can think bigger about our lives and what it is possible for us to accomplish. It may not feel comfortable, but growth rarely does.

Here's to your independence!  I wish you the best in all areas of your life.

 

Free to be YOU!

Are we really free if we are listening to negative mind-talk? Thoughts about ourselves that are ghosts from our past--what a parent, teacher, ex boss, thought of us that we have taken to be true. The answer is NO.

When we take on these false beliefs, we can't live fully and step out in new ways, be in our  power.

But today, with awareness, we can see ourselves differently and with courage think bigger about our lives and what is possible for us to accomplish. It will not feel comfortable, but growth never does.

Here's to your independence!  I wish you the best in all areas of your life.

 

Career Coach: Brand New You

Multinational corporations spend a staggering amount of money each year attempting to brand their products effectively.  Sometimes, these efforts go extremely well—for example, Coca-Cola has experienced recurring success with its branding campaigns. Occasionally, they don't go so well ("New Coke" is one such instance). But it is important to keep in mind that branding isn't just for gigantic corporations. Whether you realize it or not, you are constantly making decisions about the most important brand in your life—you!

Your brand, or image, is how other people perceive and think about you.  This can be extraordinarily important in a variety of ways—after all, perception is usually what counts in business. Making a great impression quite often means the difference between landing a new contract or job and being passed overand making that impression usually comes down to proper branding. If you don't take steps to brand yourself and your image, you are making the decision to leave your career to chance.

So where do you begin? First, it is critical to understand that you have a great deal of control over how others ultimately perceive you. How you present or "brand" yourself largely rests at your discretion. You may not be able to control every aspect of every person's perception of you, but you can do a lot to cultivate your image, just as Coca-Cola and other companies cultivate theirs. Consider how you wish to be perceived against what might be the right branding for your given career path and environment—clearly, someone looking to become the lead singer of a band will approach branding a little differently than someone looking to become an investment banker!

Your brand isn't a badge that you wear around to help people identify you—that would be a costume! Instead, a brand should capitalize on what makes you a unique and desirable commodity. Brand yourself to perfection, and the brand that you create will be a customized image that is right for you and no one else. This, in turn, will become a powerful tool for promoting yourself and your skills in the business world and beyond.

—Madeline Lewis, Career Coach

Dare to Watch: Words To Win By

What's the best piece of advice you've ever gotten? We asked a group of college students and aspiring actors to share just that—and some of their answers may surprise you! Whether you're hitting the stage or the street, you're sure to walk away wiser from what these young women have to say. Take it away, ladies!

—Video by Amy Stringer

Career Coach: Welcome to July!

Can you believe the year is halfway over? Neither can we—but steamy, sticky July has arrived, and we'd like to introduce you to our new Career Coach. Meet Madeline Lewis, a career strategist, author and speaker. “Being proud of your background and unique attributes will ensure continued growth," says Madeline. "Recognition provides the opportunity to speak about and showcase our experiences as women exhibiting strength in the business world.” Want to know more about Madeline's philosophy? See below for more on her impressive credentials, and check back for weekly guest posts through the month of July.

Dr. Madeline Ann Lewis is President/CEO of the Deline Institute for Professional Development. Her workshops and seminars have been presented throughout the United States and abroad. Dr. Lewis has a Doctor of Management in Organizational Leadership, and she has been certified by The Professional Woman Network (as a Diversity Trainer with special emphasis in Women Issues) and the Genesis International Coaching Institute (as a Career Coach).

Dr. Lewis’ knowledge of business and professionalism is supported by 21 years of experience in the military and over 20 years of experience as a civilian in federal and city government. Dr. Lewis is an Adjunct Professor with the University of Phoenix and Davenport University. She served on the Board of Directors for the Justice Federal Credit Union for three years and currently serves on the International Advisory Board of the Professional Woman Network.

Strategically located in one of the most politically disciplined geographic locations in the nation, Dr. Lewis uses her experience in training and education to benefit local affiliations through federal, state and local agencies. Additionally, she is an active member of numerous national groups, including the Federally Employed Women, the African American Federal Executives Association, the National Association of Female Executives and the Professional Woman’s International Advisory Board.

Her many accolades include a governor’s citation from former Maryland Governor William Shaffer (for service during Desert Storm), three Attorney General’s Volunteer Service Awards, and a Director’s Award for Outstanding Foreign Counterintelligence Investigation from the FBI. Dr. Lewis was also nominated for the Office Depot 2007 Business Woman of the Year Award. She is one of the WE Magazine 2009 Hall of Fame Honorees and a 2009 Stevie Award Finalist for Women in Business.

She has been quoted by others in several articles, some of which have been syndicated and published on AOL and Yahoo. Her voice has been recorded in business journals, magazines, newspapers, college websites, and blogs. She has also been spotlighted on the radio and in magazines such as: Ebony, Balance Health, Black Health Magazine, National Association of Female Executives (NAFE), and Radio One Talk Show: A Woman’s Journey to Success.

Dr. Lewis is the author of Finding Your Best Inside: Becoming the Person You Were Meant to Be and Playing from the Blue Tee: Women in the Federal Government. She co-authored Rising to the Top: A Guide to Success, Overcoming the Superwoman Syndrome (an international 5-star hit currently being translated for print in Spanish and Portuguese), You’re On Stage: Image, Etiquette, Branding & Style, and A Woman’s Journey to Wellness: Mind, Body & Spirit.

To Loving Ourselves More

What don't we feel more fulfilled?

Why aren't our relationships more satisfying?

Why haven't we achieved our dreams?

What I have realized is that it isn't the "outside world" that is the cause for my unhappiness i.e., the projects I haven't been awarded or the money that didn't come through.  What is really creating my unhappiness are the limiting thoughts I have about myself.  And knowing this, I can question my beliefs and take the next right action towards getting something better for myself.

With relationships, I see that when someone annoys me, it's because their "flaws" point out what I don't like about myself. I am also aware that during these times I'm feeling out of sorts and self-care is required. 

 It all boils down to loving ourselves more, and having compassion for our weaknesses and appreciation of our strengths.

Career Coach: Present Your Ideas with Confidence

Okay.  It's finally go time. You're about to walk into an important meeting with your manager to present a brilliant idea. You've prepared your talking points, but you're feeling unsettled and nervous. What do you do?

When others perceive you as confident, they also view you as competent. They treat you like a peer and listen to your opinions and ideas.  s a result, you feel (and actually even become) more confident. One way to ground yourself before the big moment is through your breathing.

Before you even go into your meeting, practice taking a few very slow, very deep breaths. Doing this will help you feel more centered, relaxed and calm. You'll also stand taller and give off a more purposeful air when you enter the room.  This practice will ensure that you appear-and are-more confident.

You can try this trick in the meeting itself as well.  If you find yourself beginning to talk too fast, just stop and take a deep breath. Your talking speed will naturally slow, which will give others a chance to engage you. You'll then be talking with them instead of talking at them--a crucial distinction, and a much more effective strategy for selling your big idea.

Thanks for reading along this month.  If you'd like to me to send you one of my favorite deep breathing exercises (or just if you'd like to say hello), you can email me at simma [at] simmalieberman [dot] com. Put the words "breathing exercise" in the subject line for the former. Remember--low and slow.  Knock 'em dead, and best of luck going forward!

--Simma Lieberman, Career Coach

Present Your Idea with Confidence

Okay.  It's finally go time. You're about to walk into an important meeting with your manager to present a brilliant idea. You've prepared your talking points, but you're feeling unsettled and nervous. What do you do?

When others perceive you as confident, they also view you as competent. They treat you like a peer and listen to your opinions and ideas.  s a result, you feel (and actually even become) more confident. One way to ground yourself before the big moment is through your breathing.

Before you even go into your meeting, practice taking a few very slow, very deep breaths. Doing this will help you feel more centered, relaxed and calm. You'll also stand taller and give off a more purposeful air when you enter the room.  This practice will ensure that you appear-and are-more confident.

You can try this trick in the meeting itself as well.  If you find yourself beginning to talk too fast, just stop and take a deep breath. Your talking speed will naturally slow, which will give others a chance to engage you. You'll then be talking with them instead of talking at them--a crucial distinction, and a much more effective strategy for selling your big idea.

Thanks for reading along this month.  If you'd like to me to send you one of my favorite deep breathing exercises (or just if you'd like to say hello), you can email me at simma [at] simmalieberman [dot] com. Put the words "breathing exercise" in the subject line for the former. Remember--low and slow.  Knock 'em dead, and best of luck going forward!

--Simma Lieberman, Career Coach

Dare to Reflect: The International Crisis of Independence

Celebrating Independence Day presents the perfect opportunity to consider what independence means for women today. Is it the freedom to build our lives as we see fit? The right to choose between being a stay-at-home mom or a careerwoman? The ability to travel abroad or finally take that dream vacation? Maybe today’s “independence” is the freedom to make choices—to fashion our lives in a way that reflects our dreams and aspirations. But these choices often come with “but”s, “maybe”s, and “if only”s that severely limit our options when money enters the picture.

As you watch the dazzling fireworks on July 4th, perhaps your thoughts will drift to the retirement account you still haven't opened. As you nibble on a hotdog, you might worry how charging that weekend beach trip will affect the credit card bill you’ll have to pay at the end of the month. As you wipe ice cream from your daughter’s laughing face, you may wonder how you'll save up enough money to put her through college. Now that we've secured the right to vote, to work, and to go to college, the final frontier is in many ways a financial one. After all, isn't a woman only truly independent when she’s financially free? Owning a house in your name isn’t so sweet when you're a slave to a monthly mortgage rate. The glow of obtaining a college degree dims when student debt saddles you with regular payments years later.

Financial independence isn’t only about making your own money. It’s about knowing how to save and spend that money in a way that makes sense for you, your future, and your family (if you choose to start one). If you’re scratching your head at whether to prioritize student loans or credit card debt, know that you are not alone. Just a few days ago, USA Today reported that between to 2011 and 2012, women became “disproportionately less likely than men to pay their credit card balance in full each month, have an emergency savings fund and have a general understanding of stocks, bonds and mutual funds.” These are women like you and me—women who are college-educated, hold steady jobs, and lead ordinary lives.

In Britain, the situation is equally challenging. In a recent survey conducted by the British government, nearly one in three women admitted to being stressed about money, and almost 40 percent of women reported difficulty discussing financial matters. A different kind of gap exists in Australia, where working women lag far behind men when it comes to retirement savings, according to the Australian Human Rights Commission. How can we expect to effect change on ongoing issues such as the pay gap if we can’t get a handle on our own pocketbooks?

Since women have some big financial fish to fry, we can at least do ourselves the service of becoming as financially savvy as men, if not more so. As July 4th approaches, take money matters into your own hands. Improving your knowledge of personal finance can be as simple as browsing the ABCs of money management on MyMoney.gov, the U.S. government’s resource for basic financial education—or maybe start with this quiz from Smith College’s Center for Women and Financial Independence to gauge how much you know about your money. Enjoy the holiday, but rest assured that hot dog will taste much better when you know what's in store after the fireworks end. Promise.

—Linda A. Thompson