Helene Lerner's Blog, page 111

One Woman Having the Courage to Speak Out

We recently spoke with Hajra Omarjee, a journalist based in South Africa. She shared with us her insights about her personal journey, as well as her career path.

What sparked your interest in politics and journalism? Can you tell us a little about your career path so far?

Watching Nelson Mandela's release from prison, his sacrifices. That gave me hope. To me, it meant more than that which was being reported through the eyes of the media.

In the South African Constitution, I found dignity, a JUST world that made sense. With dignity came a conscious self-determination and courage. From that point on, I dared to dream.

 Were there times in your career when you doubted yourself? How did you step forward despite that?

I hustled. I worked for free to gain new skills. And I’ve learned along the way that I have a loud voice inside me.

How do you balance your responsibilities as an impartial reporter with your own feelings about the issues you report on?

As a newspaper, radio and TV journalist and anchor, I engage from the perspective of the reader, listener or viewer. At the same time, I put my heart into it.

Time Management Tips that Actually Work

Everyone has the same twenty-four hours in a day. The question is, are you using them productively? Sure, many of us know the obvious steps we can take to be more productive, like limiting idle chatter and staying off social media while working. Here are some additional tips to enhance your productivity:

Block your time. This is the best strategy I know for increasing your productivity. Wherever possible, bundle tasks that are similar in a sixty-to-ninety minute window. For example, you might block sixty minutes every morning to check voicemail and return calls or emails. You might also block your networking and client service time as well. 

Know when you’re "in the zone." Everyone has a time of day they are most productive. Leverage that time to work on your most critical tasks whenever possible. The more you understand your personal productivity cycle the easier it is to schedule tasks that take “less brain power” for times when you are less productive.

Don’t over-commit. Nothing kills productivity faster than over-commitment. Be mindful of the amount of time you have. Learn to say no without leaving your colleague in a bind. Provide alternate solutions for how the task can be completed.

Delegate. Don’t be afraid to pass some tasks to others--it can be a great learning opportunity for that person and a huge capacity builder for you. Delegating successfully requires that you give clear assignments and instructions. I always recommend agreeing with co-workers, colleagues and employees that there is no dumb question and never too much instruction when it comes to delegating a task. Be willing to trust those you delegate to and remember to recognize the person for their work, publicly whenever possible. 

Stay focused.  You may believe you are more productive when you multi task. Whether it is listening to music and writing that report, or participating in a conference call and returning emails – splitting your attention between two or more tasks greatly diminishes your productivity.  Try doing one thing at a time for just a day and see how much your productivity increases. It is the power of focused attention that supports you in completing your task more accurately and typically in less time.

Establish a planning routine in advance. If you like a to-do list, try doing one the night before so you’re ready for the next day. If you have a system that works for you use it! Remember what does not get scheduled typically does not get done so block time in your calendar for all your critical activities including planning.

Clarify your objective. The more clear your objective, the easier it is to create a plan to achieve it. Wherever possible make sure you are goals are “SMART:” Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Reasonable and Timely and connect to the things you really want to achieve and have passion for. Your passion and desire will keep you motivated and engaged which is the secret key to working productively.

-Cornelia Shipley, Career Coach
www.corneliashipley.com

How to Cope with Difficult People, Starting Today

We all encounter them - those people who are simply challenging to work with. They may be the Negative Nancy or the Know-it-All Nathan, either way they can create a frustrating if not hostile work environment if you let them. Here are some ways you can meet the challenge head-on:

Don't join them. Don't get caught in the “monkey see, monkey do” trap of negative behavior.  Even if your colleague appears to be "getting away" with being difficult, know that there are people watching them and, more importantly, watching your reaction to them. Be willing to exhibit grace under fire and stay above the fray. 

Watch the clock. Time is a precious commodity we can't get back. Don't allow those in your office who constantly complain or otherwise drain your productivity to hijack your time.  When Complaining Chris appears simply set a time limit. Let him know you only have five minutes and when that time us up, move on to your next task.

Silence isn't always golden. You might think that listening without saying anything is the path of least resistance. Part of meeting the challenge difficult people represent is finding your voice and questioning their false assumptions, interpretations and beliefs. Your failure to do so may be interpreted as agreement by both the difficult person and others around you.

Challenge “always” and “never” statements. Difficult people may live in the world of black and white, without the skill to navigate the many shades of grey that the business world creates. For instance, they might say "Mary is always late." Or, they may whine that "Kim never does her job correctly." Help diffuse the situation by converting these absolutes into statements to facts. You might try something like, "John, I can understand you are frustrated. I do recall that Mary was late for work last Friday but she was on time Monday and Tuesday and was actually early on Wednesday and Thursday. Wouldn't it be fair to say that she's late sometimes rather than always?"

Focus on the behavior, not the person. When giving feedback, emphasize the person’s actions instead of the person. Consider providing feedback focused on three things--the situation, the behavior the person exhibited and the impact of their behavior on you and/or the situation.

-Cornelia Shipley, Career Coach
www.corneliashipley.com

Kari Byron on Stereotypes, Being Courageous and More

We recently spoke with Kari Byron of MythBusters about the myths she finds most intriguing, what it means to be a couragous woman and her responses to common stereotypes. Take a look at her insights.

As someone with a background in art, how would you respond to the myth that most people can’t be both artistic and strong in fields like science and math?

It is always strange to me that science, math, and art are compartmentalized separately.  I started to love science when I realized how much it was like art.  It is all about exploring curiosity.

I like the term STEAM.  It is an amendment to STEM that adds Art. Historically, Arts and Sciences walked hand in hand, look at Leonardo da Vinci.

What upcoming MythBusters episodes do you find the most intriguing?

We have done some myths surrounding stereotypes, a Battle of the Sexes.  I really liked exploring human behavior.

What are some outrageous myths that aren’t being planned for the show but you’d like to test?

We  always find a way to  test what we’re interested in. Sometimes we have a myth on the books for years before we figure out how to do it. We have sourced a jet engine, a rocket sled, bomb ranges, and more. Sooner or later we get it done.

You never planned to be on television, but it turned out to be a great fit. What advice do you have about staying open to unexpected opportunities?

Before MythBusters, I wasn’t fulfilled working where I was, working in advertising and sales. I was good at it but didn’t love it. Walking away from a steady paycheck to an internship at M5 Industries, where Mythbusters began, seemed like a crazy, scary move. I was going to be working for free and working a night job to support myself.  But I prefer to live by the mantra “Why not?”  That phrase started all my best adventures. 

What is your definition of a courageous woman?

A courageous woman is one who is scared to jump but does it anyway. It wouldn’t be brave if it weren’t scary.   

What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever received?

Give back. Nothing has ever made me feel better about how far I have come like helping someone on their way. It is hard being a working woman, we need to help each other. 

How to Prioritize Self-Care Every Day

So often as women, we think choosing to prioritize ourselves and our needs is self-centered. Nothing could be further from the truth. By caring for yourself, you ensure you have the energy and stamina to care for the people and things that matter most to you.  If you don't take the time to recharge, you won't be able to juggle everything in your life.

Massages and manicures are only part of the picture. Self-care is about caring for every aspect of your physical, spiritual, and psychological well-being.

Here are some tips for making your self-care a priority in your life.
 
Put it at the top of your list. You are your most important asset, treat yourself that way!  Schedule time to at least weekly if not daily to care for your mind, body, soul and spirt. Consider creating a morning or evening ritual like meditation along with a daily workout to move your body. Grab your calendar right now and carve out time on a regular basis for you care for you!
 
Seek out support. Be willing to ASK for help instead of waiting for people to offer.  Only you know exactly what will support you in giving your best. Trust that you will get the support you need when you ask. Remember to be clear about your expected result.
 
Release the guilt. Self-care is not selfish. In fact, it is one of the greatest gifts you can give to those around you. Taking the time to take care of yourself so that you can be a better wife, mother, sister, friend, employee, boss, etc. is good for everyone!

Say NO! Create a list of things you will choose to say NO to. Here are some examples: no phone calls during family time, no multi-tasking at work. Be willing to say NO to job opportunities that are not aligned with your career objectives as well. Make sure that what you choose to say YES to supports your highest good in every area of your career and personal life.
 
Do what works for you. Your self-care process is as personal as your fingerprints. Don't get caught in the trap of trying to do it "the right way" there is no right way only your way. Do those things that make you feel better, enhance your self-image and self-esteem and increase your overall energy level. Don't worry about what everyone else is doing.

In my experience (and that of many of my clients), the more you focus on your self-care, the more life seems to "flow," the less resistance you experience and the more grounded you feel when facing the challenges of life.  Commit to making yourself your number one priority so you can care for those you care about!

-Cornelia Shipley, Career Coach
www.corneliashipley.com

We honor our veterans

We honor the courageous men and women who have served in the armed forces. May their courage and willingness to serve be remembered.

To a safe and peaceful world.

Helene's Amazing Glamour Team

I am fortunate to have a great team behind me. It’s so hard to look at yourself in photographs. So when you have people you respect who are also your friends, it makes all the difference.

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I’ve known Bruce Dean for years and we have featured him on our website. He is a makeup artist extraordinaire and I trust him implicitly. I needed some photos for my new books, Time for Me: Simple Pleasures for Women Who Do Too Much (summer release) and The Confidence Myth: Why Women Undervalue their Skills and How to Get Over It, and he introduced me to Reynaldo Antonio Rodriguez (photographer), they work really well together. Both of them put me at ease.

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From time to time, you’ll see some of the fun photos, like the ones here, in our posts on Facebook and Twitter. 

Festive Tacos for Summer Parties

If you're entertaining over this long weekend, try out Pamela Morgan's pork tacos, great  get-togethers. For more of Pamela's recipes, visit Flirting with Flavors.

 

Smoky Pork Tacos

Makes 8

1 T olive oil

1/2 onion, chopped

2 cloves garlic, minced

1 hot pepper, minced

1 pound ground pork

1 teaspoon cumin

Salt

8 corn tortillas

1 avocado, mashed

1/2 cup crumbled queso fresco

Cilantro sprigs

Lime wedges, for serving

Heat oil in large skillet over medium-high heat. Add onion, garlic, and chili. Saute until mixture begins to caramelize. Add ground pork and break meat up with a wooden spoon. Season with salt and cumin. Cook until browned and cooked through. Set aside.

Turn gas burner on medium-low heat. Using tongs, place on tortilla over flame and toast until just charred. Flip and repeat on other side. Repeat for remaining tortillas.

Mash one avocado with a generous pinch of salt. Spread mixture onto tortillas. Top each with meat, crumbled cheese, and cilantro. Serve with a wedge of lime for squeezing.

Pamela Morgan is a food blogger, caterer and cookbook author. For information on her upcoming teleseminar, "The Joys of Entertaining," click here.

Honor Your Female Friendships

This is one of my favorite shows that we produced. It's about the power of friendship. We decided to post it in its entirety for you to enjoy over the long weekend.

Defy Stereotypes and be Genuine

There is no dearth of books, people and courses advising us to "bring 100% of ourselves" to our jobs, tasks and relationships. Though it’s very sound advice, it’s easier said than done. As women, we’re often faced with stereotypes about what our “100%” will look like. For example, we’re told that women are “emotional” and “competitive with each other.” Here are some tips to help you bring your authentic “100%,” and avoid buying into the stereotypes.

Friendships are more important than petty arguments. Fostering relationships with women who you look up to or learn from is vital, even if they sometimes rub you the wrong way – they’re not perfect and neither are you.  No one understands the pressures that you face better than other women in similar positions.

Make space for yourself. It’s easy to lose it when you’re overwhelmed. Even the simple activity of getting to work requires having so many things in place - doing hair, makeup and finding the right shoes. It can get complicated. Don't be hard on yourself. Make time to treat yourself.

Never believe the criticism. Constructive feedback can be useful. But if you are being unfairly criticized, the best approach is to distance yourself from the critical person. There is nothing to be gained in seeking their approval.

-Deepika Bajaj, VP, Publisher Relations, Redlink, Inc.
www.deepikabajaj.com