Helene Lerner's Blog, page 108

Changing Course to Follow a Dream

Pastry Chef Paula Shoyer isn’t afraid to take a risk in order to pursue her dreams. After earning a law degree, she realized that her true passion was actually baking, so she took a chance and followed her heart. Now Paula tours the world with her recipes, showing people that dietary restrictions don’t have to mean bad food.

Paula was working with the United Nations in Geneva when she decided to take some pastry classes in Paris, just for fun. The hobby developed into a catering business, and then a full-time career back in the United States.

Paula has since published two cookbooks, and has made appearances on many television and radio shows, most notably Food Network’s “Sweet Genius.”

Paula specializes in dairy free desserts, a path inspired by her own religious dietary restrictions combined with her passion for trendy, tasty food. Her cookbooks also feature many low-sugar, gluten-free, and nut-free options.

-Jessica Benmen

How to be Fashionably Appropriate at Work

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As a lifelong observer of fashion and its many trends, I’ve always been one to gravitate towards “statement necklaces”, other accessories, and articles of clothing that could be considered “conversation pieces”. Whether it is a grandmother’s heirloom or a fashionable-yet-professional trend, a conversation piece can be instrumental in doing just that: creating conversation.

It’s not uncommon for me to recommend to job seekers to wear an item of clothing or accessory that provides confidence and comfort. In a situation as nerve-wracking as an interview, client meeting, or performance review, the familiar piece (some may call it a “lucky charm”) can really help the wearer to exude confidence.

At what point, however, is your conversation piece not appropriate? Always consider the environment and company culture. A bright yellow scarf or tie is likely to be inappropriate at an investment banking firm full of dark and pinstripe suits. Another offender: noisy jewelry, such as bangle bracelets or dangly earrings. This post was actually inspired by a live online video conference that I viewed recently, in which one of the presenters was wearing bracelets that jingled. It was a jarring sound that was distracting to me as a viewer and made the content much more difficult to hear.

That being said, I would always recommend that you not wear pieces that make noise. As much as you may enjoy bangles, remember that it might be best to leave them off your wrists during an important job interview or company presentation (whether you are leading the presentation or are attending as a spectator). Select pieces for their form and function, and make sure that it fits the vibe of the company in which you will be interviewing or working.

Victoria Crispo, Career Coach, Career Services USA

What You Need to do to Find the Right Mentor

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Whether you’re brand new to your job or a seasoned employee, there may come a point in time when you will be seeking guidance and direction on strategically planning your professional development and career moves. While some companies may provide mentoring opportunities for junior staff, it is always to your benefit to develop your own mentoring relationships with professionals who will truly understand your needs.

Unlike a work-sponsored mentorship program where you may not be able to find your “perfect fit”, if you seek a mentor on your own you can have better success at pinpointing someone who will have the expertise you are seeking. So how do you go about finding your own mentors?

Identify your needs. Are you trying to get a promotion in your industry? Transition to a different but related field? Gain exposure as an “expert” in your field? Knowing your needs is important for several reasons--one of them being that you can’t identify (or approach) a possible mentor without knowing what you will need from him or her.

Identify possible mentors. Now that you know what you need, identify people who can provide the information and insight you are seeking. You want to consider leaders in your field, but make sure that they have the actual experience and background that will be influential in taking you to the next level. The person at the highest level is not necessarily the best mentor for your needs. Look for someone who has already been in a situation similar to yours. You want to learn from their experiences and model a similar system that you can use towards your own success.

Where to look. There is no magical list of people who are interested in being mentors.  In fact, being in this type of role may never have even been on their radar...until you came along! There is no reason not to broach the subject with those from whom you want to learn. Consider using LinkedIn or your college alumni association for introductions to potential mentors. Take a class or seminar and approach the instructor about serving as your mentor. If you gained insight from an article or blog post, write to the author. Again, have a clear focus and a strategy for getting them to join your “team”. Give them a reason to want to share their nuggets of wisdom with you.

Know what’s appropriate. Be mindful of your mentor’s time, but don’t assume that they only want to spend five minutes speaking with you. Let your mentor hold the reins when it comes to the time constraints, but also try to gauge how much time they will be able to give to you before you even ask for it. Know whether it is more appropriate to have a 10-minute phone conversation or a more formal lunch (which you should offer to pay for).

Send a thank you note. Show your mentor your appreciation by sending a thank you note or even a small gift. A handwritten note, complete with some key points you learned from your discussion, is always a nice touch! It is also an opportunity to keep the conversation going. Once you’ve made the contact, you want to have an ongoing discussion and give your mentor the opportunity to see how you progress.

Victoria Crispo, Career Coach, Career Services USA

Find the "Good" in Any Challenge

WOMEN OF COURAGE know that...

There is always something good that comes from transcending painful times.

There is always something good that happens as we move through change.

There is always something good as we face our fears and find the courage to take action.

 

The message here: We are strong enough to move through any challenge that confronts us, big or small. Know that, and reach out for help when you need it.

Smart Networking Tips That Actually Work

[image error]While you may have read other articles about networking, I value the practice so much that I think it is wise to revisit it with a fresh perspective.

Why?

It’s not an activity that you do once or twice and are then done with it. Networking as well as making (and retaining) relationships are ongoing processes. Once you make a new connection, take the time to cultivate the relationship. For example, if you’ve scheduled an informational interview with your new contact, don’t let it stop there. Soak up all that he or she shares with you, take notes, and delve further into the topic at a later date.

Immediately after your meeting, send a thank you note. Recall a pertinent bit of information or a poignant story and make it a point to include it in your note. After that, check in with your new contact. Don’t be fearful of “taking up too much of their time”.

Try doing any of these (or all of them, over time):

Show your appreciation for what they shared with you. If there is a new process or way of doing things that you learned, share with your contact how you put it into practice.
If there is an article you read that relates to your conversation, send the link to your contact, with a few sentences of your commentary. Ask for feedback. Inquire how it may (or may not) affect your contact’s business or industry. 
Share a resource that you know will be helpful to your contact. 
Remember something personal (but not too personal) and get in touch with your contact for his/her birthday or work anniversary. Pay attention if he or she is mentioned in a press release or article. If you know that your contact’s child had a recital or birthday recently, ask how everything went. People love to talk about themselves and their families and appreciate the opportunity to have conversations that are not “all about work.” 
Show your appreciation for your contact by inviting him or her to a networking/industry event. Introduce him or her to your other contacts with whom there might be a common interest. 
Solve a problem for your contact. When you are seen as a helpful resource, people are inclined to be the same for you.

Victoria Crispo, Career Coach, Career Services USA

How to be Happy--a Very Special Video

We asked you what topics you'd like to see us cover in our videos--and you answered! Enjoy our video on how to be happy!

Video Editor--Chloe Motisi

How to Stay Positive When Times are Hard

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Whether you are underemployed, working at a well-paying but dissatisfying job, or unemployed, the job search can be stressful and difficult. Fears about interviewing, money woes, and explaining your situation at social gatherings can all take a toll.

When faced with challenges, it may be more difficult to locate your feelings of gratitude. What are some ways you can refocus and tap into it?

If you are unemployed, think about the time that you currently have to devote to your job. Your previous job may not have been a good fit, or you may have “grown out of it.” When you are unemployed, while there are other concerns that you may be facing, you do have the opportunity to really spend the time you need to focus on your job search. You also have the time to develop new skills, engage in hobbies, and/or volunteer. All of these opportunities also have the potential to make you more marketable to employers. It indicates that you are productive and proactive, so it’s a win-win!

Throughout the month of June, as we begin to focus more on time in the sun and the typical summer socializations, reflect on your experiences and good times with each and every friend and family member. Remember that everyone and anyone can be a resource. Instead of feeling ashamed at being unemployed, approach your conversations with excitement. Say out loud and with confidence that you are searching for the RIGHT opportunity for yourself, a job in which you can best contribute your skills. This is likely to lift your spirits, and the positive approach can inspire those with whom you are speaking to brainstorm ideas that will help your search. Remember that when you are proactive in wanting to help yourself, others are more likely to be eager to lend a helping hand!

Victoria Crispo, Career Coach, Career Services USA

Lisa Oz on Family, Growth and Supporting Other Women

We recently spoke with Lisa Oz, host of The Lisa Oz Show, on family, personal growth, and supporting other women. Take a look at her thoughtful insights.

Your father was a surgeon and your mother was very spiritual. How did they influence you?

Yes. My dad is a cardiac surgeon, which is the same type of surgeon as my husband, so Freud would have a heyday with us. And my mom, Emily Jane, is a minister. She was trained in two separate churches. She first got her degree as an interfaith minister, and then she completed theological school in the Swedenborgian Church.

Who saw something in you when you were a kid that you didn’t see in yourself?

My parents were always very encouraging. And I had two best friends growing up, Jennifer and Sharon. We were sort of the Three Musketeers, and we definitely felt apart from the crowd, so we saw something different in each other.

What would you say are the best kept secrets that women need to know about their health that maybe we don’t admit to?

I think the biggest threat to our health, particularly as women, is our abdication of our responsibility for our health and wellbeing, and the way that we surrender authority to other entities, whether it’s the food industry, the pharmaceutical industry, or our physicians. It makes the choices easier because we don’t have to think too much about them. But it is in our best interest to be proactive, dig deeper and not always take the first answer. The real secrets are empowerment and knowledge.

What have you tried to teach your daughters, and what to young girls need to know?

We have three daughters and one son. Daphne is the oldest, she’s 28. Arabella is the next, she’s 23. Zoe is 19, and Oliver is 14.  I’ve certainly tried to instill in them a sense of confidence and a knowledge that it is incumbent upon them to make a contribution. There are two things that I think we all need to be happy. One is the sense that we are growing as individuals on a spiritual, personal, and emotional level so that we check out better than we came in. And the second is contribution. It’s important to improve yourself—not necessarily by bodybuilding or amassing huge amounts of wealth—but by becoming more conscious, aware, present, and evolved. Then you need to use that awareness in service to others.

What’s the best way of turning around a destructive habit?

So many bad habits are addictive. And I don’t mean hard addictions like alcoholism, but even surfing the Internet has the same addictive qualities as something like alcoholism or drug abuse in that you can’t stop when you want to, even when you know you should be doing something else. We get this kind of “fuzzy brain” that overrides our rational decision-making capability. For me, the only thing that really works is to pause and question. If you can stop yourself in the moment  and ask, “Why am I doing this? What is it that I want?”--you’ll get off autopilot. So just snapping out of it, to interrupt the pattern of making bad choices, even a few seconds of pausing.

What can women do for other women?

Cut each other some slack. We’re so judgmental of other women, and it stems from our insecurities and how judgmental we are of ourselves…It’s important to realize that other people are doing the best they can and that we’ve made some poor decisions, too.

Daring Woman Marisabel Ruiz

We recently met up with an entrepreneur who has created a business out of a commitment to supporting the care of young women.

How did you start your business, and why?

How? I surrounded myself with advisors who helped me set up an operating company in the US and get access from angel investors.

Why? Because I realized that millions of girls in developing countries are missing school one week every month because they get their period and do not have access to basic sanitary protection.

What had you been doing before the business?

I graduated two years ago from a Bachelor of Business Administration and Economics program and worked at Kimberly-Clark.

Who has been a major influence in supporting you to keep going?

My husband, family and friends.

What type of support did they give you?

They have encouraged me from the beginning and helped me brainstorm about marketing ideas and defining the product.

What was it like coming and living in the US?

Since living in New York, the experience has been very exciting. At every corner I turn there are so many things happening at the same time, that it is impossible not to be inspired. 

What would you say to other young women wanting to start a business?

There is never a “right moment” to pursue something you are passionate about. It is better to try and fail than to never try at all.

What are your challenges—and the rewards?

I am out of my comfort zone, so it has pushed me to become more creative and productive and to deal with unexpected situations as they arise.

What are your hobbies and other interests?

I am a passionate traveler with a goal to visit at least two countries every year, and at the age of 25 I have visited more than 50 countries. And I have an urge to dance all the time.

Is there anything else you'd like to mention?

My favorite part about SHEVA is that we will create a community where women will be helping women. We will be launching on August 1st.

When Interview Questions are Too Personal

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Bet you never thought some of the rules of dodgeball could apply to job interviews! Consider an interview in which you were asked a really personal question--perhaps even one that could be illegal. How do you respond?

Before even going on an interview, familiarize yourself with the questions that are considered illegal. In a nutshell, any questions that ask a candidate to reveal information about national origin, citizenship, race, marital status, pregnancy, sexual preference, age, gender, disabilities, arrest and conviction record, or military discharge status can be considered off-limits. However, the lines blur when questions asked in the guise of making small talk or showing genuine interest in the candidate’s life can actually reveal information from one of the “protected classes” topic areas. For example, if an interviewer says, “Oh, you graduated from NYU. So did my aunt--when were you there?” there is the chance that he or she will be using your response to guess your age. While your interviewer did not ask outright what your age is, there is the potential for an estimation to be made.

So what do you do when you are faced with one of those questions?

Dive
You can dive right in and respond to the question if you feel comfortable doing so, but remember that it is your right to choose not to respond.

Dodge
You can dodge the question- avoid it by changing the subject or answering it with another question. For example, one way of answering a question with a question would be, “What are the limits to overtime hours on the job?” if asked a question about childcare or familial responsibilities.

Duck
You can decline to answer the question. Some interviewees may fear that by not answering the question they are ruining their chances of being selected, but consider this: if your candidacy weighs upon your responses to potentially illegal questions, the interviewer is already in breach of the law, and a company that resorts to these tactics might not be one in which you want to work anyway.

If you opt to not answer, you can state that you don’t find the question to be relevant in assessing your ability to do the job. You can also add that you believe the question can be considered illegal and recommend that your interviewer consider withdrawing the question so that you can continue the interview appropriately.

Dip
Before responding, dip into the mind of your interview and consider it from his or her perspective--what does he or she really want to know from the question? For example, an interviewer who asks your country of origin might actually want to know whether you are legally authorized to work here. If that is the case and you don’t believe your interviewer to truly have discriminatory intentions, you can respond by saying something like: “If you are asking whether I am legally authorized to work for you, yes I am.”

All in all, while the basics of illegal interview questions can be easy to identify, the nuances can become tricky. While you don’t want to be suspicious of the intention behind every interview question, it is important to educate yourself on the questions that are legally permissible to ask in a job setting.

Victoria Crispo, Career Coach, Career Services USA