Helene Lerner's Blog, page 102

Don't Quit Before the Miracle

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It is so easy to get discouraged when things don't go your way, and say, why bother?

DON'T QUIT BEFORE THE MIRACLE

When you are tired of putting yourself out there and feel you can't take another step

DON'T QUIT BEFORE THE MIRACLE

When you are not sure which way to turn and it is not one of your best days

DON'T QUIT BEFORE THE MIRACLE

The bottom line: You have something great to contribute. Reach out to a friend who knows that. Let her support you to not quit before the miracle.

How to Project a Strong Leadership Presence

Just as the alignment of your core values with your life principles boosts your self-confidence, building alignment with those around you brings about a boost in your professional presence.

Julie was working on a project that required the assistance of others to achieve the goal. This was a great opportunity to engage others who could bring a variety of strengths and motivations to contribute to the outcomes. Doing this well could also raise Julie’s professional presence.  How can Julie seize the opportunity to build alignment with others? There are three powerful ways to do this:

Build connections with others and bring people together. Whether this is your natural inclination as one who networks, or you want to bring together the right people for a specific project or goal, ensure that you reach out to those with the right strengths, passions, and attitudes. This will help you to successfully align people with the outcome you are committed to achieve. 

When Julie had trouble finding the best person for a specific role she needed, she asked someone already chosen for a recommendation. This was a very successful strategy and the new person turned out to be a valuable member of her team.

To activate your ability to connect with others, ask yourself: “Who can I connect with for this project that has the right strengths, can benefit from working on it, is reliable, and will do the job well? How should I approach them and make the connection so they understand why I am choosing them and how they may  benefit from aligning with me (and others)?”

Empower others. This means enlivening and sustaining key relationships internally and externally. It also means developing and inspiring yourself and others.  To do this, you must take the risk of putting others in the spotlight.  Think about times you feel empowered by another person. For me, when I feel encouraged to step out and play a key role, it inspires to do my best, develop my skills, learn, and grow through my work.

Julie used a very simple process to empower others. She told them:
1.    What she needed them to know–the context of the project, the key stakeholders, and why this was important to the larger goals.
2.    What they needed to hear to feel they’d been chosen for their strengths and know-how, and how she thought they might benefit developmentally, too.
3.    What authority they had to act and when to bring her in for support.

To activate your capability for empowerment, ask yourself, “In choosing this person to align with, what are his/her key strengths? Am I willing to risk delegating a key role and clear outcome, and trusting him/her to achieve it?  How can I provide him/her with what is required for success, such as information and resources, authority, other team members, and my direct support?”

Behave like a partner. This means projecting responsiveness, consistency and timeliness.  When you are responsible to a partner or a group of partners, such as a team, how do you step up to the call for assistance?  What is the consistency of your behavior and responsiveness?  How timely are you with your response and delivery?  This makes a difference to earning trust and relies on your relationship intelligence as you manage the unexpected.

When Julie became overwhelmed by other temporary demands of her job, she realized her partners on this project needed to know. When she called them together to let them know of her challenges, they all pitched in to assist her as she diverted her attention temporarily to meet the demands. 

To activate your partnership, ask yourself: “Can I respond in 24 hours? And if not, when can I respond? How can I remain consistent with my partnership behavior? What can I do to ensure I meet the deadlines or communicate that I will be delayed?”

-Andrea Zintz, Career Coach, President, Strategic Leadership Resources

Fashion Guru Pamela Watson's Fall Tips

Labor Day is over but for most of us the laboring now begins! That time to change over your wardrobe is quickly approaching and the dread of having to look in your arsenal is usually extremely daunting and overwhelming. I know the questions that loom over you constantly… What should I keep? What should I donate? What do I need new for the cold weather ahead and still look amazing? What can I afford?

Honestly, if you followed my Fall Must Haves from last September, you will need very little new pieces to be right on track and if you didn’t besides me shaking my finger saying ‘shame on you” I am certain if you take a thorough inventory of your entire closet (go to the back of your rack where you never pull from) you will find some items from this list that can be brought to the front of the rack again.

Fret not my pets… Again the trends are available in every price point you can imagine and many of the high end designers have done capsule collections with discount retailers like Target, Kohl’s and H&M just to name a few where you can get a version of their higher priced collections for pennies on the dollar to what it would cost in say Barneys or Neiman Marcus. So now I need you to take a deep breath, get a pen/paper or just print this article out and use it as your Holy Grail for Fall!

Grey is the new Black!
Not just for you but for the whole family.  For the first time in a long time, many of the trends this season are fundamentally the same for men women and children. Grey is a neutral for fall and can be paired with just about EVERYTHING!  You can wear it to balance patterns, wear it monochromatically (all the same color head to toe preferably in a mix of subtle hues differences or all the same hue if that’s better for you; but I prefer the mix of tones for dimension and character). It’s ok to give your traditional black suit a break this season. As a matter of fact, put them in the back of your closet and only pull them out for funerals this season. Let’s see how well grey works for you standing alone without it; you’ll be pleasantly surprised, I promise.

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Rich Colors!
I always love how strong bold colors and patterns are balanced so beautifully with the simple addition of black and white; it is truly the great equalizer. This year will be no different; with the added help of the signature color grey when donning the HOT TREND and rich essences of BURGUNDY, CHOCOLATE and NAVY. These colors are reminiscent to of school uniforms; as I wore for many many years as a kid and loathed it. Now it’s refreshing to see these colors brought to life in fantastic fabrics (not polyester like those school uniforms) like chunky knits, rich suedes, cashmeres, fine wools, cool cottons and leather just to name a few.

 

 

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The Bootie and Over The Knee Boot!
I couldn’t mention one without the other as they are both equally HOT Must Haves for Fall. The Bootie is actually a year round essential but traditionally better accepted by the masses during cool/cold weather until recent. The over the knee boot is just as it states an “over” exaggeration of the standard knee hi boot but it has become a style essential for Fall. They both translate well from work to play and works beautifully with the pencil and flounce skirts (also a very popular staple for Fall).

 

Fit & Flare
The Skater Dress is a popular ultra-forgiving figure flattering dress for all body types. It cinches in the top waist (your smallest area; right above the belly just below the ribcage) and a-lines (/ \) from there. The skirt works well as a separate also paired with a fitted top of your choice (see Beckham in a great quality long sleeve tee with flare skirt). Whichever you go with, the one piece or worn as separates the idea and silhouette remains the same. The skirt will skim the hips for a flawless finish and deliver a shapely silhouette no matter whether you are a size 2 or 22 and the top will keep it tight and upright. The lengths come in ranges from mini to floor length so find the length that works best for your height. If you’re petite you are strongly advised to stay in the mini length. You need to show as much leg as possible and stay clear of the over the knee boot; its bootie or stilettos for you. 

StyleTip#1: You can add a wide belt to compliment the bootie or over the knee boot you pair with it or it works well with a simple stiletto. It comes is a wide variety of patterns colors and textures just make sure the  silhouette is fitted at the top and wide and the bottom and you can customize the rest that feels good to you!

StyleTip#2: If you have a Fit & Flare Dress that is in an evening dress fabrication or length (midi) you can still wear it to work! Pair it with a cropped denim or cropped varsity jacket for balance and wear a pointy flat (for added casual balance above and below) or a simple stiletto for the edgier fashionista; both very fashionable savvy and highly appropriate for daytime.
 
Next Month Fall Accessories Must Haves and a few style books that I believe are a MUST READ coming for October. 
Always Remember “Powerful & Pretty Should be One Word!”

This list of Must Haves has been edited to the ones I deem creditable for the workplace. If you want the complete list or just want to read more on Fall Trends this season check out www.fashfamfoo.com for more colorful commentary on what’s in store for the season ahead.

What Brings You Pleasure?

Our community has been enjoying our videos, so we created a new one about what brings you pleasure. Take a look!

Video Editor--Melenie McGregor

Nikki Giovanni on Writing, Activism and Family

[image error] We recently interviewed poet Nikki Giovanni. Enjoy her insights on the craft of writing and the relationships that have influenced her most.

Your poetry is unique in the way that it combines your creative artistry with a message of activism. What do you see as the larger purpose of your work and how did you develop this?

All of us writers are storytellers. I have no idea how I actually allowed my voice to develop in that way. Turning 70 has allowed or perhaps required, that I look differently at myself.  Its just my voice and I try to use it for good.

What sparked your interest in poetry?

I probably should give my mother and sister, Gary Ann, credit for that. Mommy would read to us and Gary, who had a terrific memory, would be able to recite it back. I really don’t have a good memory.  I make associations but I don’t memorize. But poems were short and exciting and there were different paths you could take with the very same poem. I fell in love with poetry. I still am.

You’ve mentioned that your grandmother used to tell you stories. What where they about, and how did your relationship with her influence you?

I learned to cook with her and she shared stories. She gave me information about the world in which we lived and treated me as if I were intelligent enough to understand the importance of what she was sharing.

Who are some of your favorite writers?

I really love Toni Morrison and have the hardest time waiting for a new book.  I read and reread her; Edwidge Danticat is also a keeper for me. I reread her, too.  I always enjoy Sherman Alexie and my very favorite Appalachian writer is Ron Rash.  But the youngsters coming up are wonderful, too.  I love the work of Kwame Alexander and  I used to not want to say that because he was my student.  Then I realized I didn’t make him talented; I just let him know it is all right. So The Crossover is one of my favorite books. Of course, we all wish Lorraine Hansberry had stayed longer and we will spend many wonderful hours exploring and re-exploring Maya Angelou’s life story. Historically, there is Taylor Branch and John Hope Franklin and, of course, there is only one Gwen Brooks.

Who is someone who was a mentor to you?

My fifth-grade teacher and a friend of my Mother’s, Flora Alexander. My seventh-grade teacher and until this spring when she died the person I’ve known and loved longest who was not a blood relative, Sister Althea Augustine, an Episcopalian nun. I’ve been fortunate to have had good and encouraging friends. 

 

How to Project Executive Presence, Starting Today

"You walk into a room of professionals in your field or company. You want to project an appealing presence by exuding credibility and a commitment to performance and communication--not coming on too bold, but not wimpy, either. You know that each time you show up with others--in meetings and one-on-one, the way you are viewed matters to your career, the projects you are chosen for, and other opportunities as well. 

What is “presence?” Suzanne Bates defines it as “a blending of temperament, competencies, and skills that, when combined, send all the right signals.” It is the combined impact of how you act, speak and look.  As an executive coach, this is a common focus of my work. Presence plays a potent role in how we generate our personal reputation and how our career unfolds. What are the ingredients to projecting a powerful presence? 

I am sure you notice that those who impress you with their presence exude authenticity.  All of the ingredients come from our inner qualities--those most authentic to us.

In this month’s blog series, I will draw from some of the challenges faced by women with whom I’ve worked and explore these ingredients with some rich examples and simple steps for integrating the ingredients into your behavior and appearance to empower your professional presence. I am anxious to hear about your challenges and successes!"

-Andrea Zintz, Career Coach, President, Strategic Leadership Resources

Secrets to a Lasting Friendship

Our community loves the topic of friends, so we created this new video on the secrets to a lasting friendship. Enjoy!

Video Editor--Chloe Motisi

Meet our career coach for September

I'm Andrea Zintz, your Career Coach for September. I am once again happy to be your resource for ways to navigate workplace, relationships and career.

A little about me: I specialize in executive and high potential leadership strategy, succession and development. I have over 30 years experience in Leadership Development, Change Management, Human Resources Development and Training. For over 13 years, I have consulted to large corporations on leadership, team, and organization development.

My clients are in technology, diversified healthcare and pharmaceutical, advertising, financial, commercial real estate, and retail industries and many are global corporations. I've been a Vice President of Human Resources and Management Board member for a Johnson & Johnson company and have led their corporate executive leadership development for North America. My interests include executive women advancement, diversity/inclusion, and mentoring. I received my M.A. and Ph.D. from Fielding Graduate University.

A specialty of mine is crafting powerful and strategic questions we can ask ourselves (and others) to access the best thinking. I also believe that our emotions are essential to our ability to meet our psychological needs and to adapt successfully to our environments and challenges. I offer plenty of tips for doing this through storytelling, answering your questions, and sharing great ideas I hear from others.

I especially enjoy coaching and my goal is to make a difference every day. I live in New Jersey, am married to an elementary school teacher and have two wonderful daughters, 19 and 21.

Please feel free to comment with any questions or special requests. I look forward to a great month!

–Andrea Zintz, Career Coach

Be a Phoenix

A former intern of mine (Nina Giordano, who now works at HooplaHa) told me about this wonderful short and said we could pass it along. As you view it, be a phoenix!

Take Time to PLAY

With the long weekend coming up, we wanted to share this video on PLAY-TIME. Enjoy!

Video Editor--Chloe Motisi