Barbara Schmidt's Blog, page 26

My Favorite Lessons From ‘Love Warrior’ and ‘Wolfpack’

I realized recently that it’s been a long time since I did a good old fashioned book review! Reading for inspiration is one of my favorite pastimes. I truly gain so much wisdom and insight from reading about how other people approach and manage life.

In honor of our exciting event happening next Friday, I decided to do a two for one book breakdown, with two of my favorite books, by two of my favorite people: Love Warrior by Glennon Doyle and the not yet released (April 9) Wolfpack by Abby Wambach.

Love Warrior is one of those books that I reread every so often to see what my soul picks up and to give my heart loving reminders. It’s truly beautiful from beginning to end. Glennon’s wisdom is pure gold, and you can feel her vulnerability and truth jumping from the page. In this blog, let me break down some of my favorite lessons, but I definitely recommend reading (and rereading it) in its entirety.

Perhaps one of the most often quoted quips from Glennon’s book, “We can do hard things” has been a game changing mantra for me. Just today I was having a conversation with my mom about some difficulties we have been working through. She looked at me and said, “Remember, Glennon was right, we can do hard things.” This is always a reminder that life may be tough, but we are capable of working our way through it, and it’s okay if it’s messy!I’ve long admired the way Glennon approaches and practices love. Her words always seem to resonate, but this quote from Love Warrior made me breathe a sigh of relief and repeat a quiet yes in my mind while reading it. I think of it often: “The only meaningful thing we can offer one another is love. Not advice, not questions about our choices, not suggestions for the future, just love.” I think we tend to over complicate how we have to approach love, when truly our presence will always suffice.”One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned from Glennon is to be unapologetically yourself, and don’t be afraid to look messy while doing it. This line from her book spoke to me deeply, and as someone who is pursuing some new creative endeavors, it’s encouraging to hear these words: “If you feel something calling you to dance or write or paint or sing, please refuse to worry about whether you’re good enough. Just do it. Be generous. Offer a gift to the world that no one else can offer: yourself.”

Wolfpack is the newest release from the soccer legend and ultimate inspiration, Abby Wambach. We were lucky to receive an advanced copy ahead of our exciting Be the Change event happening next week. This book is beautiful in that it calls out to women, yearning to be seen, heard, and understood. It gives them digestible lessons that can be easily put to practice in daily life. Plus, she sets forth eight new life rules for women to live by to help us be the leader that we are all meant to be!

Given that the book is called Wolfpack, it was fascinating and inspiring for me to read Abby’s take on women becoming the pack of wolves that will lead, unify, and change the world. Historically, wolves have been shown to be an important part of nature’s ecosystem, and that without them things begin to crumble. In a very ineloquent and brief summary, Abby compares women, in their power, strength, courage, and tenacity, to wolves, and it’s a beautiful thing. Like I stated above, Abby outlines eight Wolfpack rules, but one that struck me in particular was about gratitude. For years I’ve written and written and written on gratitude. Be grateful for what you have, and more will come, I’d often say. I now prefer Abby’s take: “Be grateful for what you have, AND demand what you deserve.” I think humans, and in particular women, tend to have a tough time asking for what we want, and we get frustrated when life falls short. Abby’s reassurance that we can be grateful and ambitious brings forth a beautiful life balance that will benefit us all.My other favorite Wolfpack rule is: “Lead now–from wherever you are“. I probably don’t need to say much here, but it’s so inspiring to see these words, and feel deeply that we all can be leaders. We all can take on that role, right now. We don’t have to have credentials, awards, or acclaim to be a leader. We just need to own who we are fully and have confidence in our own unique places in the world. Thank you, Abby for this gift!

I hope these beautiful lessons have inspired you to give these amazing books a read, and if you do, I’d love to hear what you think!

xo, Michelle

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How I Take and Implement Advice

Very recently I was presented with a situation where a close friend of mine gave me advice. It was harmless advice, in good faith, but it really didn’t sit well with me! I didn’t resonate with it, and felt very conflicted by the the information that was given to me, and thus sent myself into a mental whirlwind trying to sort out how to take it all in.

In this noted circumstance, I had reached out for said advice, but in reality my heart new the truth and the answer I needed. When the external advice went against what I knew internally internal truly, I really struggled with how to make the two sides of the coin match. Basically, the advice given, left me with even more questions.

I asked myself, “Do I take this advice? Is it right for me? Does it fit my life circumstances? Does this person really know me?”

So many questions went through my mind. And it came to me that I was asking someone else for my own clarity! It was silly really.

I know we all can feel unclear in life and reach out to those we love for input and advice only to feel more lost and confused. The truth of the matter is no one can really know what’s best for us, because we all hold such unique energy and desires.

What that means is, yes we can take in advice and wisdom from others, but we have to digest it in our own way and see how the energy of it sits within our own energy. Just because something works for someone else doesn’t necessarily mean it will work for us.

So, when someone imparts their wisdom upon you, take it in, sit with it, see how it feels. And if something feels off, don’t shake it. Allow yourself to use what feels good to your soul, and gracefully reject what doesn’t.

You are the only one who knows what’s best for you. And you should repeat that to yourself everyday. You are the only now know intensely knows your energy, your desires, your values. Remember that when discounting our own inner wisdom, in seeking external validation.

Looking to others for guidance or advice isn’t wrong or bad, so long as we have a solid sense of who we are and what we want, internally, first. When presented with a fork in the road, rather than passing along the baton to someone else to make the decision, look inward and ask yourself what you truly want. The answers that lie within you are dying to come out, if you’d let them.

xo, Michelle

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My Thoughts on Breaking Down Hate

When I was younger, my parents often told me that with great privilege comes great responsibility. That sentence played in my mind throughout my life, and it’s be on repeat lately. I was born into a life of great privilege. I am a white, straight, able-bodied woman, from a financially stable family, who grew up in a Christian household.

Never have I experienced bias or prejudice, and I certainly never felt fear of being exactly who I am. This is a privilege to be able to say so, and it’s something afforded to very few. And obviously, it’s not okay.

In heeding my parents advice from long ago, it’s my responsibility within my privilege to learn, to speak up, and to help usher change. The world is in desperate need of change, and as I also have the great privilege of a platform, I have to speak up about things that matter, about dismantling hate, and about how I intend to be a better human in this world.

The tragic event that transpired this week in New Zealand was gut-wrenching, yet not totally surprising. We live in a divided, fear-based world. Fifty human beings were killed for being alive, for practicing a religion, and for praying. It is apparent that no country is spared from this disease of hatred and separation.

In moments like these we see calls for prayers and love, which are important. But we also need to hear the call to go within to see how we can personally do better. We need to uncover how we can be part of the solution and not part of the problem.

It’s important that we get uncomfortable with ourselves, so that we can heal the wounds that have brought us to this state. We cannot just send love and light, we have to dive deeply into our souls and see we aren’t being that love, and fix it.

The complicated part about righting wrongs, in a global sense, is that we all have to do the work. I’m committed to doing the work, and if you’re here on this site every week, I imagine you are too. And I’m really grateful for that.

These are some of the practices I’m incorporating into my life, and I hope you might be inspired to do the same.

1. Get to know who you really are. So much pain and confusion stems from a lack of foundation from within. Cultivate a strong relationship with yourself, and really love who you are.

2. Learn about other people’s life experiences, and be open to listening and learning. We all come from incredibly unique circumstances and have different life paths, in opening up to other people’s perspectives we find common ground.

3. Get to know what you value. Do you know what your values are? What are you committed to? What truths do you hold dearly that you are willing to stand up for? It’s important to know so that if you see something impeding on something you value, you’ll speak up about it.

4. Ask questions. Often times we think, act, and behave certain ways because of family tradition, social circumstance, or for other cultural reasons. Don’t be afraid to ask why, and if things don’t sit right with you, don’t be afraid to be different.

5. Be a light in your own circle. It can be difficult to have uncomfortable conversations like these, but when we open the door to understanding we inspire others to do the same.

6. Be active in the decision making systems. Remember the importance of using your voice and voting on your values when placing people into power.

7. Open your ears to other perspectives. Step out of your common bubble and be open to seeing another point of view.

8. Get off of the internet and go congregate with your community. The problems of the world won’t be solved online, and it’s obvious that much of the problems of the world stem from the internet. Take time away from your screen and go be with the people in your area.

9. Don’t look away when things are difficult. We must be able to face these difficult moments, rather than hide in fear.

10. Speak up when you see an injustice. Often times hateful acts fall under the radar because we don’t speak up. We all must use our voices for the common good, whenever there is opportunity to do so.

I hope and pray that blogs like these won’t be required in our lifetime, and I maintain faith that we can be the change to do so.

If you’re interested in learning more about dismantling hatred and racial bias, I highly recommend learning from Rachel Cargle (@rachelcargle) and Layla F. Saad (@laylafsaad). Their work is important and necessary in the world right now.

xo,

Michelle

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How to Stay Hopeful

A few years ago, I was really, really frustrated with life. I can’t remember exactly what was happening that had me in such a state, but I would guess it likely had something to do with boys, body issues, or the daunting question of life’s purpose. I remember sitting in my apartment, sad and dejected, and naturally, mindlessly scrolling the internet to distract me from my woes. I stumbled upon a cheesy internet quiz (and who doesn’t love internet quizzes!) that claimed it could tell me the theme song of my life. I had that special kind of desperation and trust in this random quiz that it could give me the life’s answers I was seeking in that moment, and clicked to participate. The internet did it’s thing (based on absolutely not real or specific data to myself) and informed me that my life’s theme song was Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believing”.

I cried, I actually cried when the results came through, because it was so perfect. In that moment, I had felt hopeless, and the messaging of the internet gods could not have been more aligned. Naturally, I then took a screen shot of my results to remember it forever, and truly I feel it has been my theme song ever since.

I have always had a wacky relationship with hope and optimism and believing that things will work out. The image that comes to mind when I think of how I’ve approached it is like a pinball game. I could bounce back and forth from high hopes to discouragement, really, really quickly. I have been the kind of person who would do a lot of prep work to set myself up for high hopes and successes, and then when any sign of difficulty comes along, settle into doom and gloom. It’s exhausting, and pretty counterproductive.

I used to think that having hope or keeping the faith were just cheesy slogans and unattainable life ideals, but I’ve come to find that relying on that steady sense of hope and trust is what maneuvers us through the good and the not so good in life. It’s what keeps us believing that whatever is to come, is always worthwhile, and that it’s always beneficial to have faith in the future.

Just like with other mindfulness practices, having an awareness of the thoughts in the mind, at any time, is the key to breaking that crazy pinball game life. Finding that steady, middle ground of hope, even when it’s challenging to do so, continues to build that faith muscle. And it’s true that it’s a muscle, that needs to be worked, all the time. Or it will atrophy.

Life is better when we’ve strengthened our faith muscle, but cultivating a sense of hope, and maintaining it, isn’t always easy. Because I love a good list, here are my five simple reminders to help you stay strong in your faith and steady in your hope.

Always have your “why’s” in mind. I get a lot of hope and strength from intention. It is from our intentions that we create amazing things in life, and that’s where we find hope. If you feel lost in a circumstance, come back to why you started, and find a sense of peace.Cultivate curious optimism. The thing about hope is that even if we live from that space, sometimes things won’t go our way. Don’t get discouraged, but rather live from a place of curious optimism. We won’t ever know exactly how things will unfold but we can approach it all with an open-mind and open-heart.Hold on to the images of that which you wish to create and remember that we are incredibly creative beings. Get in the practice of visualizing your desired outcomes and remember that you are an active participant in this life. Avoid spending your energy worrying about all the things that could go wrong, rather than what you desire to happen. Once you’ve gone over all the worst case scenarios, take what you need from it, but don’t allow yourself to ruminate over it. This is not productive, and it will not help you avoid it from becoming a reality. Remember that you always have the ability to breathe through any moment. Whenever I encounter difficulty, before moving froward, I take a really big breath, and it helps me to find my place, and feel strong, clear, and confident. Your breath is your tool that you have inside that is always there to help you come back to peace.

I wish you all so much hope, happiness, and trust in life’s journey, and I hope the next time you hear “Don’t Stop Believing” you will take it as the Universe reminding you to keep the faith.

xo, Michelle

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I’m Taking This Word Out of My Vocabulary

The content of my blog today may feel a bit shocking, and maybe slightly confrontational, so I’m sorry in advance! I’ve recently decided to take a word out of my vocabulary, a word that I feel has become a toxic place holder in our society. It’s a word that is over used, often misunderstood, and the ultimate crutch of getting us out of uncomfortable situations.

The word I’m officially cutting is “negativity.” Is that weird? Are you surprised?

Honestly though, I’m sick of it. The word negativity (and its iterations) has inundated our language in an unhealthy way. It’s common to hear talk about negative people, negative thoughts, negative circumstances, negative opinions, negative vibes, etc. Everything has been thrown under the negative umbrella in a perceived practice of self-care.

Negativity has become an excuse for not participating in life’s circumstances. Labelling something as negative has given us the okay to bypass uncomfortable moments. The constant repetition of the phrase “good vibes only” puts us in a state of thinking we have to perpetually be positive to be “okay.” Naming something as negative has given us permission for us to cut it out of our lives perhaps unfairly and prematurely, and the recognition that we may have had negative thoughts can make us feel like we’ve been manifesting the craptastic circumstances we may find ourselves in.

I’m also really uncomfortable with the pushback I get when talking about challenging current events, saying that I shouldn’t go there because it’s “negative.” Bad vibes, so not into that, because we are good vibes only, right?

We’ve become a society allergic to what we think is negativity, and it’s stunting our growth. We’ve let the word negativity become our scape goat for avoiding reality and avoiding taking responsibility for ourselves and our actions, behaviors and beliefs. It’s placed us in a victim mode, rather than an empowered one.

To be fair and honest, I’ve given much advice regarding avoiding negativity and cutting out negativity in the past, but I’ve really had to stop and think about the energy of that advice and what it really means to live life this way. For me, it feels like we are using it as an excuse to bypass the uncomfortable, for the sake of the holy grail for 24/7 positivity. And we all know that’s just not possible.

To get to the root of it, I just don’t think negativity is real. It’s the self-help version of calling something “fine.” It’s a story we’ve made up, and it’s time to face the truth: life is uncomfortable, challenging, and difficult at times, but labeling it as negative won’t help us to work through it. Let’s start labeling and defining things as they really are: worrisome, problematic, challenging, difficult, scary, unfortunate, you choose. These are words that can describe feelings and circumstances, without making them feel wrong and bad.

So, I’ve rambled on for many paragraphs ranting about a word, and I hope you’re wondering what we can do to turn it around. It is my hope and intention here that we can reframe what we’ve defined as negativity in a more realistic, responsible, and empowered way.

Rather than beating up on yourself for thinking “negative” thoughts, drop the label, and be grateful for the awareness and the opportunity to choose more productive and less worrisome thoughts.

When faced with someone in your life who is pushing your buttons or giving you a hard time, communicate with them your feelings and set proper boundaries for yourself. That’s empowering and productive.

When a circumstance just doesn’t seem right, rather than pushing it away as negative, take time to ask yourself why? Start to get in touch with your real feelings, rather than using a bandaid word to bypass it.

When confronted with challenging information on the state of our world, don’t look away in fear, but learn, understand, do what you can and keep moving forward.

I write this blog with all the positivity and good will in my heart, I hope, too, that it doesn’t come across as me being exactly as I wish to avoid, and if you’ve gotten this far, I thank you for reading!

Ultimately I hope this can spark a conversation that makes us feel empowered, confident, responsible, and more positive!

xo, Michelle

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My Favorite Practice for Achieving My Goals

There are few things as frustrating in life as feeling stuck and unable to fully reach goals or manifest desires. I’ve lived in that stuck, struggle place for a while, and it was so unpleasant and challenging and annoying. I’ve encountered resistance in my life, and tend to get in my own way when fully understanding that I am a powerful person capable of creating exactly what I wish (and you are, too).

I recently had an aha moment, where I pinpointed why I was perpetually coming up short when it comes to really seeing my goals come to fruition: I wasn’t fully embodying my desires. In fact, I was disconnected from them.

I had thought the ideas and had clarity in my brain, but I hadn’t felt the feelings in my body and I hadn’t seen it, to believe it. In other words, I knew what I wanted, but didn’t believe I could have it, and I didn’t know what to do to achieve it. This left me feeling in a weird limbo of knowing what I want, but feeling like it was always just out of reach. Can you relate?

The missing link is simple, but it’s powerful. It’s visualization. It’s sitting with ourselves, visualizing that thing that we wish to achieve, feeling how it feels in our bones and in our bodies, recognizing all the emotions of what it will be like when it comes to form, and bottling it all up inside ourselves as a new part of us that we carry with us. It’s like giving our brains a software update, so that we can function in the next level life that we desire.

This week, we introduced our high school student fellows to visualization. The fellowship program they are participating in requires them to complete a group project, focused on community engagement and civic leadership, and present it to us, in order to pass the course. I know they feel stressed about how they’ll get it all done, as well as everything else that’s on their plates.

Visualization is the practice that could help them bridge the gap of knowing what it is they need to do, remembering that they are always capable of doing it, and actually taking the action to make their dreams, desires, and goals come to form. We led them through a visualization meditation, and the relief that they felt from it was tangible. They were remembering who they are, why they are here, and exactly what they are capable of.

And I wish this relief for all of you, too!

Incorporating a visualization meditations into your practice will give you such a sense of confidence, peace, and ease along your journey. It’s super easy, just follow these steps below:

1.Get clear on what you desire, what you want to achieve, or how you want to feel. What is your intention? This could even be as simple as asking yourself how you want to feel in a given day, and going from there.

2. Sit comfortably, close your eyes, and breathe.

3. Start to visualize that desire, achievement, or feeling, as if it’s already happened. See it in your mind’s eye, and be specific.

4. Notice the feelings that arise in this moment, how does it feel in your body to be that person who has already achieved?

5. Recognize the details and take note of any action steps that come to mind here.

6. Allow yourself to sit with this and embody this new piece of your life.

7. Take a few moments to breathe and cultivate a sense of gratitude for what you know is possible.

8. Open your eyes and journal what came up for you in that practice. You’ll get bonus points for writing down accompanying affirmations that can remind you of this visualization and your desires throughout the day.

9. Remind yourself that you are worthy and capable.

10. Repeat as necessary and trust that it all will unfold.

xoxo, Michelle

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What Self-Love Means to Me

In the spirit of ending Valentine’s Week, I wanted to share my stance on love, and particularly, self-love. I’ve written a lot about love over the years, and I’ve talked extensively about self-love, too. Like any relationship, my own practice of self-love has evolved over time, it’s ebbed and flowed, and I’ve learned so much about what it really, truly means to love yourself.

Loving yourself, especially in this crazy world, is a challenging, full-time job. The term self-love though, gets tossed around a lot lately, usually as a caption to a perfectly manicured social media picture, making us believe that self-love and self-care is actually quite easy. We see beautiful photos on on the internet of spas and massages, and vibrant foods, all labeled as self-care, and all deemed “musts” in order to feel at peace from within.

Every social media influencer has a hot take on the trendiest rituals and potions to make you fall in love with yourself completely, without ever taking into consideration your wants, needs, desires, and intricacies. But we take in messages like these each and every day, and then wonder why we still feel a love void, even after partaking in the world’s advices.

The truth of the matter is, these messages that we are being told, are flawed, and perpetuate the problem they claim to solve. These messages promote consumption rather than fulfillment. And they don’t address access, inclusivity, and privilege that affords many of us the luxury of spa time, high quality foods, and personal essential oil diffusers. These messages miss the mark of the true essence of self-love, because it doesn’t come from anything in the external world, it has to start from within.

Self-love and self-care must be accessible for everyone, and if my above statement is true, that means that self-love can’t be something that can only be obtained through external goods and services. It can’t be something reserved for people who have the time, energy, and resources for it. It must be for all, and the good news is, that it really is.

Self-love isn’t the instagrammable rituals, but rather a deeply rooted, solid foundation that we build inside of ourselves. It’s taking the time to get to know ourselves on an intimate level, and taking care of ourselves from that space. We can participate in all the trendy practices and habits, but if the insides aren’t aligned with the outsides, that external work will feel meaningless.

Like I said at the beginning of this blog, my relationship with self-love has been a complicated one. Sometimes it’s easy, sometimes it feels impossible. Whenever I have moments where maintaining a loving connection with myself feels difficult, I ask myself these important questions to bring me back to a place of peace, acceptance, and love.

One of my favorite ways to really learn more about myself is taking inventory every once in a while, through this self-inquiry, to get the answers to help me along my way. I hope they can come in handy for you in your own self-love journey.

How can you honor who you are in this moment?

How can you trust your deepest desires?

What beliefs do you need to release to remember that you are already worthy?

How can you set loving boundaries to protect your energy?

How can you communicate for your needs to be met?

How can you make aligned choices?

How can you release fears that are keeping you from going after your desires in life?

What, in this moment, is the most loving action for me to take?

I encourage you to spend some time ruminating in these questions, and seeing how it feels to make yourself your own priority. Remember, you’re always worth it.

xoxo, Michelle

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My Tips for Receiving the Answers You Seek

I recently discovered something about myself. I’m a closeted know-it-all. It’s weird for me to write that, but I really, really like to be right, and I really, really like to know things. I honestly never would have characterized myself as such in the past, but I’ve come to own that it’s a true trait for me.

What happens, though, when you’re someone like me who wants to know it all, and you can’t quite seem to know enough? You become a frustrated and confused person, who is desperate for answers but perpetually inundated with questions.

It’s super interesting for me to identify as someone who needs to know all the answers, because in the past I had always considered myself a seeker — someone who is always in search of more truth, knowledge, answers, and clarity.

Upon entering the personal development space, clarity became a buzzword I heard often. I’d hear quotes such as: “Get clarity on this, and you’ll be able to achieve that.” “Find clarity on your purpose, and your life will effortlessly flow.” “Get clear on what you want, and what you want to come to you.” I thought to myself, man, I really need to get me some clarity, this is the kind of life knowledge that I need to succeed.

Over the years, clarity felt absolutely elusive to me on a broad scale. I certainly had defined visions for smaller things in life. As someone who needs to know it all, I felt like I was missing the one piece of knowledge I needed the most. It drove me bonkers.

It’s only been recently where I recognized that the chase for clarity, or the constant search for answers, is what robbed me of exactly what I was looking for. It’s like when you are trying really hard to remember something you had in your mind one minute ago that is completely lost, you let it go for a minute, and it comes to you much, much easier. That is what clarity, and knowledge, and answers are to me now.

The more I lean back and allow the answers to come to me, the more clear I feel. The less I worry about figuring every little thing out, the more things sort themselves out. The more confident I am in my own knowing, the more truths I uncover.

The truth of the matter is we are smart, capable, intuitive beings. We know things. We know a lot of things. We doubt ourselves, deny ourselves, and block ourselves from our truths by thinking we always need to go outward to find answers. Give yourself some credit for what you already know, and trust the wisdom you need will be given to you exactly when it’s needed.

I’ve broken down my process for clarity for you this week, because it’s brought me so much relief to release the seeking, and I hope it helps you, too.

1. Intend to release the need to constantly seek. Let yourself off the hook from the perpetual search and settle into what you know to be true right now. Ask yourself, what is true for me today

2. Allow yourself to be okay with what you already know. Remember, clarity doesn’t mean knowing everything. It means being confident with the information you have and using it wisely.

3. Trust that the answers will be given to you in the right time. If you knew absolutely everything right now, would you be able to use it all wisely anyway, probably not. Use what you know with the most alignment, and know that when you need to know more, the answers will be there.

4. Keep listening to what your intuition is trying to tell you. I’ve come to find that the inner voice inside of me is always whispering simple truths to me, I just get too busy to always hear it. Take pause, be still, and see what is being said.

5. Remember that sometimes we don’t need all the answers to take action. I was one of those people that needed to know everything before I would do anything, and it paralyzed me. You can do things without knowing everything, and you should. Learning along the way is one of the best journey’s in life.

Wishing you all the clarity you crave, and the answers you seek, with ease.

xo, Michelle

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The Importance of Taking a Break

If you and I were to be in a casual chat with one another, and you asked me what it it is that I do, unequivocally, without thinking twice, I would say that I am a writer. For years, my identity has been encompassed around my ability to write. I’ve always liked writing, I’ve generally found writing pretty easy, and for the cherry on top, my writing has been helpful to many people.

Writing is the thing that’s always made sense to me, it has been my foundation, my identity, and my purpose. What happens though when that thing that you rely everything on, starts to fall away?

Last year, writing started to become hard and my world slowly turned upside down. I would sit down to write and the screen would stare blankly back at me, when in the past the words would effortlessly flow. Knowing that writing was everything to me, and that the words weren’t coming to screen was incredibly painful.

But I pushed through, because like I said, writing was everything to me (and I placed a very weird badge of honor on myself of never taking a break, which I’ll talk about more in a bit). I wasn’t ready to face the notion that writing and I might possibly need to stop, so I accepted the frustration and continued to put out content week after week.

Over the summer I embarked on a writing project that has been a dream of mine for most of my life: a book. I’ve have an idea for a book I want to write for quite some time, and even though I was in a really challenging writing space, I kept pushing myself to start, because I made myself believe it was the next progression in my life, the natural next step. In a world where everyone is #nevernotworking, I felt that I needed to keep pushing to produce new content and to stay relevant.

This push I now recognize was a fear, of course, but I’ll get to that shortly. When I sat down to start the book, the words wouldn’t come. My mind was blank. I felt completely empty. And afraid.

For years I’ve had ideas and written paragraphs in my mind of how my book would be, and now, nothing. Thoughts flooded my brain about what it meant that I couldn’t write, and yet not one thought came through of the content I was desperately trying to create.

I started to resent writing because it brought me so much agony, I dreaded sitting down to my computer, it became a total chore. My passion was now torturous, and I felt completely overwhelmed.

The fear of stopping, of what it would make me if I took a break, perpetuated my anguish. I was afraid that stopping meant I would never start again. That I would be forgotten. That I would lose my skills. That maybe I would never even want to write again, and then where would that leave me? A writer, who no longer writes?

But I knew I couldn’t do what I was doing any more, and certainly I couldn’t write an entire book feeling this way. I couldn’t publish something that came from that place of me. So, I had a long talk with my mom about what I was experiencing and she blankly suggested that I give myself permission to stop. 

I took in her advice, and finally I caved. After 7 years of writing weekly content, I stopped. And it felt amazing. The relief I experienced was immediate. 

Taking a break gave me space to breathe and to just be. My brain was no longer on overload constantly trying to think of my next witty quip, and it just became the witness to what life presented to me. I explored new creative outlets and allowed myself to sit in that space between the knowing and the unknown, and it was okay. I didn’t need to be afraid, because this new space allowed so many amazing things to enter my life.

It’s been six months since I stopped writing, I wanted to allow myself the time to refill my well, to experience life so that I could have something to write about, and I’m really happy to be back, and share what this experience meant to me.

If you’ve read this far in the blog and are thinking, well this is really great, but I’m not a writer and this doesn’t apply, I promise you, it does. We all have things that we tie to our identities, that we use to seek approval or value or worth, that we fear giving up because what it will mean for our lives, and it’s always okay to take a break from them.

Your identity is not based on what you do or how well you do it. Your value doesn’t rely on your consistency and grueling dedication. Your place in this world isn’t dependent on actions, but rather your ability to just be. Life doesn’t need us to be in a perpetual grind to be happy, successful, and worthy.

Is there something that your soul has been craving a break from that you aren’t listening to?

What would happen if you allowed yourself to take that break?

What limiting beliefs can you release yourself from, in knowing that it’s okay to take a break? A break can be for whatever feels right for you too, by the way.

Trust that whatever it is you’re being called to break from, if it’s truly meant to be in your life, will be there waiting for you when it’s time to return. It just might look differently than you expected it to, or your relationship with it might be different. And that’s okay! I’m giving you permission to gift yourself the space of a break, and I can’t wait to hear what unfolds when you do.

xo,

Michelle

The post The Importance of Taking a Break appeared first on Peaceful Mind Peaceful Life.

How to Tap into Your Intuition

I’ve been going to self-help, meditation, yoga, and mindfulness seminars for years. My intention of doing all this has been to be the best version of me that I can be, but also to tap into my own sense of inner strength and intuition. I desire to create a life I love, one that flows effortlessly and is lead by my own inner guide. I will be the first to admit that doing this has been hard work and at times, frustrating.

I’ve learned so much from every single lecture I’ve been to, but one thing that has always irked me is when people make the assumption that it’s an easy task to tap into your intuition, follow your inner guide, or even recognize signs from the Universe. I’ve been in so many seminars feeling like I’m the odd one out who just doesn’t have the capability to cultivate these tools that seem so easy for everyone else.

In my opinion, tapping into your intuition and spiritual tools takes practice, patience, and work. It takes dedication; it takes research, finding what methods and techniques work for you. There isn’t a magic potion or secret trick, but it’s a lifestyle and way of life. I write this blog for those of you who struggle, like me to “get connected.” Below I’ll give you some methods that have worked for me, in hopes of guiding you to a happy, connected life.

Meditation. One of the best ways to access your intuition is by simply sitting with yourself everyday, in silence for a few minutes. Close your eyes, focus on your breath, and just be comfortable sitting with yourself. It’s there that we start to connect, and gradually this daily practice strengthens that connection.Journaling. Another tool that I love, journaling, is the practice of letting thoughts stream from pen to paper. Don’t edit, don’t even try to make it pretty or rational. Just streamline your thoughts onto paper. Sometimes people feel in mediation that they are too much in their heads. Journaling allows you to get those thoughts out, and witness what is actually going on in your mind. Try incorporating a journaling practice first thing in the morning or even before bed.Yoga. My yoga practice has helped me immensely in connecting with my intuition and even getting in touch with my body. For me, yoga is moving meditation, where you take your mind off the crazy thoughts of the external world and simply focus on the postures and your breath. I come up with so many great ideas in my yoga practice; it’s definitely a go-to for me.Checking in with your body. One of my favorite life coaches taught me to start checking in with signals from my body throughout the day. Just like your body tells you when it’s thirsty or hungry, it sends signs when you’re doing something that makes your soul happy, or if you’re not. Start to notice how your body feels when making decisions, or even in random situations throughout the day. Learn your body’s ways of communicating with you.Asking for guidance and listening. Begin a conversation with your intuition, whether it’s in prayer or even journaling. Ask for what you want or need clarification and start to try and listen for answers. Be aware of signs that pop up in your life throughout the day. Learn to trust your inner guide that it won’t lead you astray.

I hope these tools help you begin to trust yourself completely! Stick with a practice that works for you and pay attention to how your connection grows! Let me know what works for you!

Wishing you a beautiful week ahead!

xoxo, Michelle

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