Barbara Schmidt's Blog, page 22

My Intention for 2020

Happy Sunday, my sweet friends!

I hope that the start of this new year has been kind to all of you. If you’ve been reading the blog for some time now, you know that one of my favorite practices to ring in a new year is to choose an intentional word that serves as a guide, an aim, and an overarching theme for my year. I tend to shy away from setting resolutions, as I find they often lead to unhealthy habits and self-talk, but I do love setting a solid, aligned intention.

If you’ve never taken part in this practice, the beautiful thing is, it’s incredibly easy. Sit in a quiet space and close your eyes. Take a few deep, cleansing breaths to get connected to your body and your intuition. In this space, ask yourself, “What is my intention for 2020?”

Notice the very first answer that pops into your mind. See how that feels, if it fits. Avoid overanalyzing, or trying to force the “right” answer. There might be a few words that come to mind, but I find it best to hone in on one that feels the best for you. When you’ve made a choice, sit with the word and that intention.

What does your life look like with this intention at play? How do you feel with it as a part of your life? Allow your mind to get imaginative and visualize this year under your aligned intention. Take a moment to let your intention truly sink in your psyche. When you’re ready, you can open your eyes.

If you feel called, you can take out a journal and free write a bit about your intention, why you think this word resonates with you for this particular year, and even jot down some of the details of the life you envisioned with this intention at play. Remember, when we desire something, and we take aligned action, the intentions manifest.

This year, I have chosen the word ‘ease’ as my 2020 guide. It was pretty easy (hehe) for me to come up with my word this year. The word chose me, actually. I had noticed in  2019 that I was unnecessarily complicating my life. I crave a feeling of ease and simplicity. We are only 12 days into the year, but I am already amazed at how my intention of ‘ease’ has played out in my life, and I can’t wait to see how the next 12 months will unfold!

If you feel called to share, I’d love to hear your 2020 intention words. Wishing everyone the most abundant, prosperous, and aligned year to date.

xo, Michelle

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Ending the Year on a Positive Note

Happy end of 2019 to you all! I am grateful to be sharing with you on this very auspicious day of a calendar year. I believe that time constructs allow us the opportunity to reflect and adjust, based on our goals and dreams, and so, as we begin to say farewell to 2019, I felt it best to offer up my rituals and habits to close out the year.

I believe that each calendar year presents challenges, lessons, opportunities, and new growths.  Sometimes one year can feel harder than others, and some years feel more blessed than most. It’s not up to me to tell you how 2019 went for you, but I am here, on this eve before a new year, to offer the opportunity to reflect, pause, and take time for gratitude for what all has passed.

If we can’t take time to reflect and understand, we are destined to repeat our life’s circumstances over and over again.

I personally love reflecting on years past, going through old photos and writings, noticing what has changed in my own perspective. I always see a shift in tone, and for me this feels like a meaningful sign of growth.

Whether or not you feel that 2019 has been good to you, I ask you to take some time today to honor what it has presented. If there were hardships, reflect on the tough lessons they provided. If there were blessings, cultivate gratitude for the good fortune. Life will always present ups and downs, and it is on us to do our best to interpret them in our own best interest.

I have felt a multitude of emotions this year. Some moments felt insurmountable, and others were incredibly joyful. During the highs and lows, I’m reminded that life is always changing. We are not promised a new day. Every day is a gift, and with inner strength, we can overcome anything.

I love the last day of the year because it nudges me to pause, take inventory, and reflect. What went well? What didn’t go as I hoped? What do I desire to achieve next? What do I wish to let go of?

These are the questions I ask myself, as prompts for deep reflection. In this fast paced world we live in, I encourage you to take time to get personal with your 2019 experiences. What made you grow? What made you learn? What made you grieve? What made you joyful?

We have had unique experiences and opportunities that have molded and changed us. Take time for yourself to honor just that. Know that come 2020, a brand new set of adventures and challenges are in store, and I have faith that we are all ready. Always remember precious friends, we were made for these times.

I’m wishing you the happiest, most peaceful, loving, and supportive end to this decade.

With all the hope, love, and possibility for the new year ahead,

xoxo, Michelle

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Managing Feelings During the Holidays

We have a surprise for you today, we decided to write this week’s blog together!

The holiday season can bring up a lot of feelings and emotions, right?  Though holiday sentiment tends to be wrapped in merriment and cheer, it can often leave us feeling isolated, sad, and even resentful. We both know firsthand what it’s like to manage the wide range of emotions that the holidays reveal, so we want you to know that feeling this way, is completely normal!

Here’s how we’ve work through the difficult feelings that the holidays can bring up:

Nostalgia: It’s very natural and normal to glamorize and reminisce about past holiday experiences. This is how our human minds work. We think about all the good things that used to happen, and then we compare those memories to the present moment. This can make us feel is lacking in some way.

The important thing about nostalgia is that it’s not the whole story. Please remember that you’re not being fair to yourself when you use this as an argument for why the things that are happening in this moment aren’t enough. Allow yourself to reminisce, but don’t let yourself live in the past. Bring your mind back to the present. Remind yourself that you are worthy of life’s blessings and that difficult times don’t last forever. Slowly cultivate gratitude for what is happening right now.

Grief: The holidays are hard for those of us who are missing friends, family, and loved ones. The truth is there is no cure for grief, but there are ways to work with grief to ease the pain, especially at this time of year. Allow yourself the time and space to remember the ones you’re missing. Feel the feelings that arise, and know that it’s okay to miss someone.

We like to reframe sadness to gratitude. Remind yourself that a loss means that there was once a person you loved deeply. Notice and feel the love in your heart. Feel gratitude for the love that you have, and understand deeply that just because this love has changed in physical form, it does not mean that it’s gone, or that you can’t carry on the love and emotions for the person in your heart.

Disappointment: It’s the end of the year, and so we naturally start to take an inventory of the year that has passed. Our minds immediately tend to focus on what is still lacking, what went wrong, and what didn’t get accomplished. It’s okay to feel like there are pieces of your life that aren’t quite where you want them to be. Rather than allowing these feelings to make you feel less than, use them as fuel and inspiration.

If you’re disappointed about something in your life, know that a new year can bring brand new opportunities to create what you desire. This year is almost over, so thank yourself for showing up fully. Recognize that we are not here to be perfect, so could it be that all that you have accomplished is enough? Just maybe it is more than enough, loves.

Loneliness: Especially during the holidays, we are bombarded with many images and advertisements that make us feel that if we aren’t surrounded by loved ones, or if our relationships don’t look like what we see on TV, then there is something wrong with us, so our holidays can’t be joyful. This is just a big, fat lie! The greatest thing about life is that we can choose to define how our life plays out, and this is so important to remember during the holiday season.

You are the boss of your life. You are the author of your story. You can always choose how much significance and importance you want to place on this holiday. There is nothing wrong, odd, or sad about being alone at this time. Do what feels comfortable and right for you.

Our deepest desire is that wherever you are, and however you are feeling, that you find comfort and strength from the inside knowing that you are enough, you are complete, you are worthy, and you are loved.

We love you and send big hugs, support, and blessings this holiday season and all throughout the new year.

Michelle and Barb

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Understanding Limiting Beliefs

A couple weeks ago my mom and I were in the car on our way down to Miami for an appointment. Driving to Miami from where we live tends to be a hassle, there’s the additional snowbird traffic added on to the regular highway madness, so generally speaking, it’s a harried experience.

As we were in the car together (I was driving), I could sense a lack of ease within my mom, I noticed her checking her phone, checking the maps, concerning herself with our ETA, and I knew she was anxious about time. The truth was, at least in this instance, we had plenty of time. We had more than enough time! We were so right on time, that I couldn’t understand her preoccupation with checking her phone and feeling anxious.

That’s when I realized that time, and her relationship with it, has always been her Achilles heel. My mom does not like to be late, in fact, she’s always insanely early to avoid being late.

I asked her in that moment, “What do you think the limiting belief within you is, that makes you feel like you never have enough time, or that something bad will happen to you if you’re not on time?” She looked at me earnestly, and told me that she had never thought about her relationship with time, in that way, and I could see that this was an “ah ha” moment for her. She said, “Wow, Michelle, I want to get to the cause of this, because it makes no logical sense, we’re not in a hurry, and there is no place I would rather be than in a car with you enjoying each other in conversation.”

I could see my question had opened up a brand new awareness giving her an instantaneous desire to get to the root of why time could be such a stressor, literally robbing her of joy. Days later, she thanked me, because having this deeper understanding of the beliefs that we hold that limit us from feeling free, at ease, and at peace with ourselves and with what is, is truly a life altering understanding.

Now, I say all this because it made me stop and think about what my limiting beliefs are, and how we all carry around these untruths that hold us back, keep us stuck, and make us feel like we aren’t enough in this very moment. I realized that one of my core limiting beliefs is that, I can’t fully “have it all” in every aspect of my life. Meaning, if one area of my life is going well, another area will naturally have to suffer.

This has caused me to feel fearful of “good things” thinking that probably some “bad things” will follow suit. Recognizing this within me, allows me to create a new story. Yes, life is unpredictable and not always easy, but I am worthy of having a solid foundation in every aspect of my life that I choose to create for myself.

I believe the more knowledge we have about ourselves, our minds, and the way we perceive the world, the more power we have over everything in our lives.

Limiting beliefs tend to be deeply rooted theories that we believe to be true, that in reality, are untrue. I have held many limiting beliefs about my own worthiness and my ability to be successful, and it’s been a lifetime practice of undoing what is so deeply within.

My process of uncovering what lies beneath the surface is to begin to notice the every day experiences that trigger you, or make you feel anxious, or take away your confidence and inner peace. Take pause in these moments, notice where your mind goes when these instances arise, and then take an inventory of your thoughts.

Ask yourself if these thoughts you are thinking are helpful, kind, productive and truthful, or if they are simply the opposite. Sit with the feelings that arise and notice if there is a long-held belief that is triggering the thoughts and your response to the situation.

Once you can connect the limiting belief to the actual life circumstance, you will begin to feel more powerful when similar circumstances arise, you can start to choose how you react, which begins to change the thinking process around the stories you have been telling yourself for years. By changing your reaction you are breaking the cycle of feeling at the mercy of the happenings in the external world.

Changing your thinking brings you power, and it is the fastest way to change your life. I believe that training our very malleable mind is one of the greatest practices of self-care and mental health that we can embark on, so sit in quiet with yourself and become the boss of your life to live the joyful life you deeply desire.

xo,

Michelle

p.s.–If you feel safe too, and want some PMPL online support, share what limiting belief you wish to gently release. We’ll be here to cheer you on and wish you well.

5 Habits I’m Releasing Before 2020

I saw a meme on social media recently, that served as a reminder that we are rapidly closing in on the end of 2019, which subsequently means we are nearing the end of this decade. Though we can all choose to interpret and define time and how it influences our lives in our own unique ways, there’s something very uplifting and inspiring about the thought of a new decade upon us.

Perhaps it’s because I’ve always loved the notion of a clean slate, or a new chapter, but I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how I want to leave this decade behind, and what I wish to carry over come the start of 2020.

I have so many goals, intentions, and wishes that I’m setting for this new year, this new decade, and with the full belief that it is all possible, I’m becoming more present to the habits, patterns, and traits I wish to leave in 2019, so that I have space to create and cultivate all that I desire. It is when we place our awareness on the things we’d like to change, that we create space for what we wish to bring into our lives, so below, are the five habits in my life that I’m working to release, to begin this new decade with a clean slate!

 

Comparison. I’ve noticed within myself that there is still a piece of me that compares. I’ve found that the time I spend comparing myself to others truly drains me of so much energy, affects my mood, and keeps me from engaging in the things that make my life happier.
Writing stories. This is a big one, the mind loves to write stories about everything so in 2020, I’m intending to STOP writing the many stories about things that I think that I know, and start listening and taking in the truth about any specific circumstance. I’ve found, that there is so much that we can learn when we create space to listen, rather than assume.
Understanding how I use my time. We all know that there are many distractions out there that can take us away from the things we want to be focused on. This year, I intend to spend less time on the things that truly don’t matter as much, and more time towards what fills me up from the inside, out. Developing this awareness is key!
Judgments. Similarly like writing stories, judgments about other people and other circumstances only create more separation and misunderstanding. In 2020, I desire to spend less time judging and more time understanding, and accepting.
Releasing control of timing. The more I learn about life, the less I realize the control we have over it. Life is complicated and stressful enough, without adding our own mental chaos and preferred timing into the mix. Life unfolds in the timing that is needed, and the less I try to control, the more ease that comes into my life.

How are you preparing for 2020? I would love to hear in the comments below!

xo, Michelle

 

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For Your Consideration

We are entering the time of year where things feel extraordinarily…hectic. There’s simply a lot going on. With the added buzz of the holiday season, there’s the push to get everything done before the end of the year, there’s a surge of travel and tourism, and then of course, there’s the regular stress and anxiety of our every day lives.

I’ll never write to you on this site, without taking into consideration just how much we all have to deal with every single day, and just how different all of our life experiences are. I’m just here to propose new ways of thinking, helpful ideas, and theories on how we can all live happier, healthier, more successful, peaceful lives, so what I want to talk to you about today, is most aptly timed due to everything I just outlined above.

In my hometown, we are entering the high season, where we experience an influx of snowbirds and tourists. Our streets go from quiet to jam packed seemingly overnight, and it always, always takes me a little while to adjust to the new change of pace. The vibe of my town feels different with the influx, and to be blunt people get crabby and sometimes even, rude.

There are probably many reasons why this is, but I venture to guess that most people (myself included) struggle to manage change. Whatever the reasons may be, I’ve noticed in my little bubble of the world, there is a lack of consideration for other people. There are a lot of people being too busy, too distracted, too overwhelmed, too overcommitted, too personally absorbed, and too unaware, of how they are treating and impacting the people around them.

I say all of this about my town, not to knock it, but because it’s my lived experience, and I know that this happens in towns all around the world.

What I wish to propose this week, is that we take a moment, to consider being a bit more considerate of one another. If we could start to become more present so that we can have the awareness of how our actions effect and impact others. If we could be more mindful of the energy that we put out into the world, and remember ultimately, that we are all in this life together.

Being considerate of others doesn’t mean being a doormat or a push over, it simply means being kind, thoughtful and understating of other people’s needs, circumstances, and energy. Being considerate means pausing before reacting, breathing before speaking, and understanding before judging.

I write all of this to you not because I believe I’m picture perfect at this practice, because believe me, my buttons have been pushed as of late, and I’ve often wanted to go off on the “pushers” around me. I say this today, as a reminder to myself, and to any of you who resonate with these ideas, that it’s easy to be angry and bitter towards the people around us, especially when we feel like they deserve our ire. It’s a practice to cultivate compassion and empathy, and to be that presence of consideration and care, especially when times feel tough.

Life is hard enough as it is, without us all piling on each other with stress, anxiety, and frustration. We can all peacefully coexist when we remember to be considerate and present to those around us.

I’m making the commitment and setting the intention to be considerate and kind as we close out 2019, I’d love for you all to join me. If you feel called to do so, let me know in the comments, so we can be in this together.

Lots of love to you.

xo, Michelle

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How I Prep for the Holidays

Hello, my friends! Happy Sunday to you all!

If you follow me on social media, you probably noticed that this month has been very busy and filled with celebration. Literally, every person in my family/inner circle has a birthday in November, and as much as I love celebrating the ones I love, I am also, tired…and full of cake!

With so much happening in my life personally, it can feel challenging and even overwhelming to even think about ramping up for all the holiday festivities. I’ve learned, however, how to really take care of myself, honor my needs, and prepare for the holiday season in a way that allows me to feel calm, centered, and present.

The holidays can bring up a lot, for all of us. There are so many dynamics at play: funny family members, awkward political discourse, heated life discussion, and food…so much food. We are often trying to cram too much into our schedules, self-inducing loads of pressure to be perfectly organized, and often times, we’re not getting nearly as much sleep as we should, to be functioning at our peak capacity.

If the looming holiday season has you feeling a bit anxious about how you’ll possibly be able to manage it all, while staying sane, and maybe even enjoying yourself, it is my intention this week to share with you my simple tricks and tools to guide you through these next few weeks of celebration, cheer, and family.

First, make sure you tap into you before going out and engaging with anyone else. Sit in quiet with yourself and literally just be. Notice how your body feels, pay attention to your breath, let the thoughts in the mind come in and go out, and just sit for a few minutes to begin the day.  Whether you’re traveling to visit family or loved ones, or are just keeping a low profile, remember the importance of checking in with yourself throughout these busy times. We know that there is high demand and high expectation on us, so front-load your self care by taking your mental health pulse on the regular.

One of the biggest sources of anxiety that I feel (and I know many who feel the same) is the dreaded awkward conversations that are had at family dinners. You know, the pesky, invasive life questions, the uncomfortable political disagreements, the frustrating small talk. We all know these conversations are likely to come up, so I always make sure I have myself armed and prepped with a kind, but guarded response. If there are topics of conversation you truly don’t wish to engage in, come up with a few one liners to guide the conversation elsewhere. Know your boundary, and be ready to use it when it comes up.

The other big stressor at holiday time is time, or lack thereof. We pack so much into our regular 24-hour days, and even though it’s meant to be in the spirit of fun and joy, it’s often, too much. Plan ahead this holiday season, take a look at your calendar and make sure to schedule in some down time that’s just for you. You know how much you can take as far as scheduling goes, so remember that it is okay to say no to the invites that don’t light you up, and to nix schedule fillers if they really aren’t aligned with your intentions for the holiday season. Literally cross the last thing to do off your mental to-do list! It really won’t matter and will give you the necessary pause and room to breathe. The people in your life would rather have you present and happy, than over-committed and overwhelmed.

Lastly, it’s so important to remember the practices you can rely on, that help you, feel like you. There are many dynamics and factors at play during the holidays: travel, new environments, lots of food, lack of sleep, our routines can go out the window leaving us feel frazzled and out of sorts. If there are practices that make you feel centered and present, use them, don’t lose them. I know that I feel best when I drink lots of water, meditate, have some alone time, and get a good sweat on in my day, so I absolutely know that these things are my priority, they truly help keep the holidays from becoming too hectic. You know your calming practices, remember to do them, especially as you maneuver through this next month or two!

Remember, the holidays are meant to be joyful and fun, and if you’re not experiencing these emotions, you have a choice. It’s okay to say no, it’s okay to excuse yourself, it’s okay to go for a walk and clear your head, it’s absolutely okay to take care of you.

If the holiday season is a source of sadness and feeling lonely please remember you are not alone, you are complete, enough, loved, and worthy,  so be kind to yourself and have no expectations that you should be or do anything but love yourself completely. The biggest tip I can pass along to everyone for this holiday season, is to remember your power and use it when you need to.

Cheers to lots of joy, laughter, and gratitude!

xo, Michelle

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Michelle’s Guide to Effective Communication

Today I want to talk about communication, how important it is to have a healthy relationship with communication, and what I do, in my life, to strive to have the most open, honest communication with those around me.

I can say, with pretty clear certainty, that half of my issues, disagreements, and unpleasantries in life have stemmed from improper communication. As humans, we just kind of suck at communicating with one another. I don’t think we were ever taught how to properly express our thoughts, desires, feelings, and how to properly listen in return. Fear not, though, it is my deepest hope for this week’s blog to help us all in the communication realm. We deserve calm, peaceful, and understanding interactions, and I believe that this can be our reality!

Here are my tips for having more effective communication with everyone in your life, especially when we don’t always see eye-to-eye:

Know who you are and what you want: If you’re unclear from the inside out, the outside in will never come in alignment! When faced with any sort of interaction, it’s crucial to have a strong understanding of who you are, and what your true desires are.

Say what you mean, and don’t play games Often times, we feel afraid to say what we actually mean, for fear of negative retribution, but when we aren’t 100% clear with our words, things go haywire. It’s always best to say what you mean, and avoid word gimmicks that try to manipulate a person or a situation.

Choose your words wisely: It’s really easy to let words come out of our mouths without fully thinking of what they mean and what they represent. Have such a keen sense of awareness that the words you speak always align with your heart, soul, and intentions.

Be present in every interaction: So much miscommunication comes from us not being present to our own interactions! There have been countless times I’ve ended up in an argument because I’m on my phone in the middle of an important conversation, and missed a needed detail. Being present not only saves you time, it lets the other person or group of people know that you care and that you value the time spent in dialogue.

Take responsibility: Being responsible for proper communication has been a big one for me personally. There have been many times when I have sensed that the person I’m in conversation with, and I are not actually on the same page, and we begin talking without addressing the confusion, hoping it might simply, magically, sort itself out. Waiting for someone else to clarify a situation is annoying and time consuming. If you sense that thoughts and words aren’t clear, take it upon yourself to reach out, speak up, in whatever form of communication needed, to clear the air, and set up a solid foundation for that communication and relationship to flourish.

Ask questions:  There’s a post on social media of a person who, in conversation, asks “what?” so many times before finally giving up. I tend to be that person, but the truth of the matter is, asking questions brings clarity. If there are pieces of your conversational puzzle that don’t make sense, it’s on you to ask for more detail and clarity! You are not wrong, and you are not an inconvenience when you ask for more information in any circumstance.

Be vulnerable: We are all human beings, with thoughts, feelings, emotions, and sensitivities. Think about this when communicating with someone else. When we enter a situation with armor and an ironclad wall around us, we get that type of communication in return. Breaking down barriers, by being vulnerable is a wonderful way to connect with someone, and again, it saves everyone time.

Tell the truth: It has become increasingly more clear to me how much I really dislike lying: any version of it. So when I sense someone isn’t telling the full truth, or is pitching a half-truth, or is straight up telling no version of the truth, I shut down. I can’t take it. Telling the truth, even when it’s hard, is a sign of respect. The truth might not always be an easy pill to swallow, but I guarantee it is always worthwhile.

Be silent: Sometimes interactions require silence, where we can step back, contemplate, marinate, and then speak again. There have been so many times in my life where I wish I had taken moments of silence to collect myself, rather than spewing out the first words that came to mind.

Take space: In any circumstance, it is always okay to take space from a situation to collect yourself, get clear on what you want to say, and come back in a calm and composed way. I find that whenever I allow myself the space to sit, breathe, and understand, the outcomes of the situation always feel more resolved and aligned.

I hope these powerful reminders help you in life and in your communications! Remember, we are all approaching situations with our own unique circumstances and life experiences, so we will never fully see a situation with the same set of eyes, but I believe if we start to incorporate some of these tactics into our every day lives, we will see the benefits of understanding, patience, and kindness.

xo, Michelle

 

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My Favorite Journaling Practice Right Now

Happy Sunday, my friends. I’m so happy to be back with you all on our regularly scheduled blog day! Thank you so much to every one of you who took the time to read my last blog and who wished me a happy birthday!

Now that the whole birthday thing has passed, I want to keep this week’s blog short and sweet, and give you time to try out the journaling exercises I’ve been loving right now.

Since we are nearing mid-November, the holidays are right around the corner, and in the blink of an eye we will be gearing up for a brand new year, I’ve been feeling called to take time to stop, pause, and reflect on all that has happened and will happen between now and the end of this year.

As I’m sure you all know (there are memes everywhere about it!), the end of this year holds a little extra weight, as it will also close out the decade. Of course, you can make that mean whatever resonates with you in your life, but I know how much meaning and importance I feel when I take the time to reflect on significant periods of my life, and what they have meant to me.

Journaling is my favorite practice to uncover answers, to find out the truth, and to tap into the inner workings of my soul, which is why I’ve been spending a little extra time lately journaling about the past decade, what it has meant to me, what I’ve learned, and how I wish to leave it behind with a clean slate for a new chapter.

If you’re like me and feeling called to close out this year and this chapter in a grounded and meaningful way, I’d highly suggest grabbing your favorite journal and following these simple prompts:

What were some of the highlights of this past decade?

What went well?

What major life lessons did I learn?

What am I proud of?

How do I feel like I have grown and evolved?

Who are the people in my life that I know I can rely on and trust?

Is there any unfinished business that I need to tie up to feel complete?

What do I wish to complete before this chapter comes to a close?

How do I want to feel as I start this new season of my life?

What am I grateful for?

As always, when journaling in this way, try not to over think your answers! Sit in a quiet space, take some deep breaths, and allow your pen to hit the paper and write whatever naturally wishes to come out. There is no right or wrong way to do this, all you need is an open mind, and and blank page!

These practices really help to highlight the parts of life that we may have forgotten and allow us to tap into a feeling of gratitude, acceptance, and grace, as we release what has happened to create space for what is to come.

Happy journaling, I hope you enjoy!

xo, Michelle

 

 

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33 Things I Learned in 33 Years

I’m lucky enough to be writing this week’s blog for you on the eve of my 34th birthday! Due to some exciting announcements and scheduling, we decided (for the first time ever!) to send out our newsletter and blog on a Monday this week, which just so happens to coincide with my birthday! Yippie!

I thought long and hard about what my heart would like to share on such a big day in my life. For some reason, the leap from 33 to 34 feels large for me. It feels meaningful, like the beginning of a brand new chapter, but in a completely different way than years before. Who knows what will happen in this next trip around the sun, but in honor of this new phase in my life, I felt it appropriate to share what these past 33 chapters have taught and meant to me.

I truly believe that life is filled with experiences that teach us, challenge us, bring us to our knees, and motivate us. No life is perfect, and no two lives are the same. Life’s experiences are the true treasures, and in the spirit of gratitude, for all that life has taught me, my birthday wish is to share these treasures with the sincerest hope that somehow, they help you, too.

1. Joy and happiness can be found in the simplest of things and the smallest of moments.

2. Release the need to constantly seek approval. Other people’s perception of you is none of your business.

3. Rather than striving to fit in, have the courage to be exactly who you are.

4. It’s totally and completely okay for people not to like you or understand you. What matters is how you love, honor, and accept yourself.

5. Following the things that light you up is always worthwhile.

6. Don’t worry if your timeline doesn’t match the world’s expectations of you. Your path is yours, and it is unique for a reason.

7. Become your own best friend. Everything stems from the relationship that you have with yourself.

8. Your body is your home. Life is too short, and you are too amazing to spend your time being at war with it.

9. Your whole life is not meant to be based around yearning to live up to society’s unfair and unattainable ideals. You are worthy, beautiful, smart, and capable enough, right now.

10. Freedom comes when you can release the need to control. We will never be able to control the external world, but we can always manage our reactions to it.

11. People you love will disappoint you, and it will never be a reflection of your value or self-worth.

12. It is never selfish to invest in or take time to care for yourself.

13. Not all relationships are meant to last forever. It’s okay to let the unhealthy ones go.

14. Grief is a reminder that we experienced love. We can transform it by understanding that it never really goes away, but it is a reminder of a love that completed and fulfilled its purpose.

15. We aren’t meant to know everything there is to know about life all at once. The beauty is the constant state of learning and uncovering.

16. Judgment of your life and the circumstances you were born into won’t get you any closer to the dreams you wish to achieve.

17. Forgiveness doesn’t happen overnight, and it doesn’t mean that what happened is okay. Forgiveness lets you off the hook of holding on to other people’s bad behavior.

18. It’s never too late to try something new, to start again, and to create the life you truly desire.

19. Life is filled with heartbreak. Know that someone’s unwillingness to love you for you, has nothing to do with your capacity for love or worthiness.

20. Relationships are life’s biggest teachers. Your time, effort, energy, and love are never wasted.

21. Saying no, to people, places, and circumstances that make you feel bad about yourself is the highest act of self-care.

22. Falling off track and making mistakes are simply a part of life. None of us are perfect, and it’s a waste of our time and energy to try to be.

23. Knowledge and wisdom are some of life’s most important assets. We change the world by arming ourselves with the truth.

24. Kindness and empathy are the gifts you give to the world. Give them, and they will always come back to you.

25. Loudly and proudly speaking your truth is a true act of bravery.

26. Real power and presence aren’t built on the exploitation of others, but rather an attitude of inclusion, solidarity, empathy, and understanding.

27. We are all here on this earth, at this time, for a purpose and a reason, remember that.

28. Your life, your value, your success, your worthiness are not defined by your relationships with others.

29. Choosing to be with yourself, rather than settling for less than what you deserve, will always bring you closer to what you desire.

30. Other people’s opinions have other people’s energies. Honor yourself by taking in what resonates for you, and releasing the rest.

31. You honor your role models and inspirations by becoming the most authentic version of yourself.

32. You are the author of your life’s story. Don’t let someone or something else be the voice of the message you are trying to tell.

33. Hope and trust in life’s infinite possibilities. They are the guiding stars in life. With them we can find a path through the dark times, and the beauty in all things.

Thank you to all who have been with me for all these years, and being such a big and valuable part of my life. I love you all!

xo, Michelle

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