Barbara Schmidt's Blog, page 23

How I Get Myself Out of Ruts

There’s something to be said, and benefits to be listed, about having a really solid routine in life. I know I tend to function and operate at my best capacity when I have good, healthy habits in place, and my routine feels solid and fulfilling. I could write about habits, routines, and their benefits, but that’s going to be for another day. Today we’re going to talk about what happens when we get too comfortable in those habits and routines—when we fall into ruts.

Even with good intentions and healthy habits, it is natural for us to fall into a stagnant place where we feel like we aren’t growing, moving, and changing. There are two really frustrating aspects, in my opinion, about being stuck in ruts. First, when it takes me too long to realize that I’m actually in one. And second, when I don’t take the necessary actions to get out of it.

The thing about ruts is that, over time, they feel defeating, deflating, and overwhelming. And if we let them go on for too long, we start to believe that those feelings are our new reality, forever. This is when getting stuck in a rut starts to morph into serious mental health dilemmas, prompting anxiety and even depression.

While every rut I’ve ever been in has felt different and has been caused by different circumstances, there has always been an affirmation that I use to get myself out of it. As Tony Robbins says, “If you do what you have always done, you will get what you have always gotten.”

This phrase always, always helps me to see the light, and remember that I have the power to make new choices, try new things, and see things from a new perspective. And it always works.

Most recently, I started a running practice. I have never, ever (ever!) considered myself a runner. In fact, running has always been hard and torturous to me. Somewhere in my mind, I wrote the story that running is impossible for me. I have always believed that something like running a marathon would never be in the realm of my possibility. I believed this story, and I believed that I was incapable, even though I had never tried to run.

So a few months ago I told you all that I heard a little voice inside urging me to try running. I was in the beginning stages of a rut. I wasn’t feeling great mentally, physically, or spiritually. I got the nudge to throw on some sneakers, go outside, and run. For just 20 minutes. Without over thinking or coming up with reasons why not, I just did it. And I felt so accomplished. As well as, motivated, inspired, encouraged, and uplifted.

I decided to make running (even if it was a short amount of time, with no true goal in mind) a weekly practice. It got me out of my rut. It gave me a new physical experience in my body. It showed me new parts of my neighborhood. It connected me with other runners on the street. It was meditative. It made me present to my mind and my body, and how my body reacts to a new cardiovascular activity. It sparked creativity within me. It gave me a new sense of hope. It made me feel like new possibilities were available to me. Because if running felt impossible, and I was actually doing it, what else could I do?

Now, I’m not saying all of this to encourage you all to start running, but rather, ask yourselves, what is something you can do, that’s new, that will light you up, and break your own mold? Is there something you’ve always wanted to study? Or practice? Or experience? Is there a new route to work that you can take that’s a more scenic one? Can you check out a different coffee shop when getting your morning coffee and meet a new barista? Can you strike up a conversation with a stranger in line, rather than holding a grudge for the long wait?

What can you do to break your cycle and experience something new? What is something different that you will do, so that you can receive something exciting?

I can’t wait to hear, please let me know!

xo, Michelle

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What I Learned When I Started to Tell the Truth

If you had ever asked me if I considered myself an honest person, I would unequivocally answer yes. From when I was a small child, the value of honesty and integrity was deeply instilled in me, and so I felt that honesty was a big piece of who I am and what I value.

The truth is, I am an honest person, but to a degree. No, I don’t lie to cheat and manipulate but I found myself avoiding the full truth when it came to people pleasing and not wanting to rock my life’s boat.

I noticed a pattern within myself, especially when it came to saying “no” to people or an invitation, that I would rack my brain to try to come up with an acceptable excuse as to why I was saying no. When I was younger I would always blame things on my parents, they were the perpetual scapegoats. As an adult, I’ve become incredibly crafty with elaborate excuses and stories. But in reality, I was being a liar.

It was recently, when I was asked to attend an event, that I had no interest or desire in attending that I really saw my subconscious liar come into play. I didn’t want to go to the event, I was completely clear about that, but I didn’t want to hurt the person’s feelings who had invited me, and I didn’t want this person to not like me anymore for saying no.

My brain went into overdrive of what I could say to make it all okay; what story I could tell that would let this person down easy. I spent a lot of time trying to come up with an acceptable story: my usual go-tos are “I’m traveling!” or “I’m working!” and yes, sometimes I still use my mom as an out. I thought about all the details, and how I would have to make sure my excuse checked out, and that I wouldn’t get caught. The whole thing was, exhausting.

I had a moment of clarity when I wondered to myself, what would happen if I just said no, but thank you, and conveyed that I would love to be invited again in the future, but that this invitation simply didn’t work out for me. What would that feel like?

I made the call and did just that. I was kind, but I didn’t give any room for this person to convince me why I shouldn’t say no. Strong and firm. And it was completely okay. The person understood, and they appreciated my honesty. I felt amazing and relieved, and I wondered how much of my life and time had I wasted coming up with lies and excuses, rather than just being brave enough to tell the truth?

Once I started to give myself the permission to say no, and to be confident, and to tell the truth without excuse or reason, my life felt lighter and more free. The truth is, telling the truth saves everyone’s time.

When I told the truth, and wasn’t wishy washy with my response in this particular situation, I let this person off the hook. They weren’t waiting for me for an answer, and they were left clear with where I stood. And they appreciated that! I didn’t have to agonize about what to say and how to say it, I didn’t have to get any stories straight, and my conscious felt clear because I didn’t have that worry of getting caught in the lie.

Now, with that awareness in mind, I can see clearly when I start to fall back into the lying, people pleasing patterns, and consciously decide to act differently. Telling the truth is the most empowering life practice you can choose to partake in. You’ll feel more aligned, energized, and the people around you will actually value you more for being so straight forward.

It’s true what they say, the truth does set you free, and how amazing it is to be the ones to gift ourselves this freedom.

xo, Michelle

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The Truth About Cultivating a Relationship with Yourself

One of my very favorite, and most rewarding aspects of living an aware and mindful life is the privilege of really learning, understanding, and honoring who I am. I truly believe that we are all here for such incredible, unique purposes, and that, we really do ourselves a disservice when we don’t take the time and energy to cultivate a strong sense of self, and a loving relationship with that self.

A large part of my life, was a mistaken sense of identity, I used the external world as a mirror to create a false reflection all around me. I strived so hard to fit in, to be liked, and to be understood, but really what I was yearning for, was to fit in, like, and understand myself.

I have passionately made it my mission, for the past six years, to release all the lies and false pretenses, to untangle the messy webs, and to peel back all the layers I surrounded myself with, in hopes of uncovering who I really am.

The road to self-discovery is long, in fact, it’s a life-long journey. And this is the truth that I want to share with you today.

I used to think that when I finally found myself, I would reach a holy destination and everything would magically fall into place. The truth of the matter is, we are never really found, but rather in a constant state of becoming and uncovering.

Not too long ago, I hit a brief moment of frustration on my path in cultivating my own strong sense of self, when I felt angry that I didn’t have all the answers, and I didn’t feel like I had it all together in the way that I thought that I should. And then, a massive light bulb when on, and I realized, that this is simply not how life works! It’s not possible to know everything, all the time. We are not meant to live a stagnant life, without change and evolution.

We get the privilege of having a front row seat to watch ourselves grow, learn, and become. We get to be the witnesses of our very own personal high’s and low’s, be the private audience of our own life’s story. And who doesn’t love a really good story?

The moment I stopped trying to label and figure myself out, and started acknowledging and honoring who I am in this moment, life began to feel more free, more colorful, and more exciting. Chasing the end goal feels heavy and unattainable. Satisfaction, grace, and gratitude for who I am and where I am now, feels so much lighter, satisfying, and more fun.

The journey to self-discovery is the greatest adventure you can undertake, and I encourage you all to make space for simple moments where you can feel the love, appreciation, and understanding of yourself; your unique beautiful soul. Don’t try to put yourself into boxes and find pre-conceived labels to match, please just remember that you are always blossoming and evolving, shedding and regenerating. You are perfectly beautiful this way.

xo, Michelle

The post The Truth About Cultivating a Relationship with Yourself appeared first on Peaceful Mind Peaceful Life.

Ghostbusters: How I’ve Handled Being Ghosted

In honor of the spooky season upon us, I felt it appropriate to dive into the very strange, hurtful and all-too-common practice of ghosting.

For those of you lucky enough to not know exactly what I’m talking about, I’ll explain. Ghosting is a social phenomenon where, seemingly out of nowhere, someone you have a relationship with completely cuts off communication. No calls, no explanation, a one-sided ending of said relationship. The relationship vanishes in thin air, like a ghost. Spooky, right?

I’ve been ghosted three times in my life: by a guy I was seeing, by someone I considered one of my closest friends, and by a family member. All instances painful and difficult in their own unique and challenging ways, but looking back on all three occasions the feelings and repercussions were the same: I felt hurt, embarrassed, confused, ashamed, unloved, and invalidated. And it’s really crummy to feel those feelings at the hands of someone whom, at one point you placed your trust.

What I know to be true about relationships is this: we never, ever know what is going on in someone else’s life and in someone else’s mind. We can never fully comprehend why people do the things they do. We can, though, make conscientious efforts to be considerate and kind, and when necessary stern and direct. I think most of us operate from this basic assumption when maneuvering our relationships, we, of course, keep our best interests in mind, while also being considerate of the other person’s feelings and mental well-being.

Which is what makes ghosting so horrific in my opinion–the apparent lack of care and respect about the other person, and their feelings.

When someone ghosts another person, they cut off communication, they cut off reason, and they cut off explanation, leaving the person who was ghosted to feel completely discombobulated. One second you have plans, commitments, understanding, and then next minute, absolutely nothing at all.

What we are left with when we are ghosted are questions that will likely never be answered. I know I spent countless hours toiling over what happened, what I could have done differently, wondering what I did wrong.

While it’s certainly possible that I acted in ways that pushed relationships to end, I didn’t (and no one does) deserve to be gaslit by someone who once held prominence in my life. As adults, and as human beings, we should do better.

When faced with a relationship or a circumstance that you feel must come to a close, I implore us all to start treating the situation how we’d like to be treated. Have the maturity to have the tough conversations, the bravery to say no, and the strength to kindly part ways. You can be honest and kind, strong and vulnerable, and open with boundaries.

It isn’t cool to be a jerk, but it is always on trend to be kind. You can have healthy relationships and communications that need to be finished, without ending them in harmful ways.

If you find yourself on the receiving end of a ghosting situation, remember the don Miguel Ruiz quote, “Nothing anybody does is ever because of you.” Don’t take it personally. Allow yourself the time that you feel you need to mourn, contemplate, wallow, and then release yourself and move on. Honor your precious time by not giving your energy to someone who couldn’t honor you. Wish them well from afar, and know that you are stronger, wiser, and better off without the disrespect that came from someone who treated you that way.

Relationships are some of life’s biggest assignments, but they only work when we all show up.

Here’s to hoping the only spookiness we experience this season is of holiday fun, and maybe a little too much candy.

xo, Michelle

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Simple Tools I Use to Manage Frustration

Okay, so, I don’t know if this resonates with all of you (I mean, I hope it does), but these past few months have felt intense. Can you relate? I’m not sure if there’s something happening in the cosmos, on this planet, or just in my small life sphere, but boy have I felt tested in so many areas as of late.

When cultivating self-care and mindfulness practices, the thing that we must remember is that we don’t do them so that we can have a perfect, fricton-free life, but we practice them so that we can manage the friction, frustration, and discomfort that ultimately will come at some point during our lives.

Though I will admit that there have been times that I haven’t managed my emotions and my frustrations as gracefully as I would hope, I will always strive to cultivate the awareness within myself to notice when I’ve slid off track and bring myself back again.

I strongly, heavily rely on a few simple tools to calm my nerves, release my stress, and bring me back to a sense of peace.

If you’re anything like me and you’ve found yourself in a season of frustration, or you know that such is life, and these moments will come, I hope you’ll find benefit from the tools below, we all deserve some peace when life deals us a crummy hand.

Mix it Up: I find that when I’m feeling frustrated, it’s generally a signal that there’s some stagnation in my life. The best way to bust through stagnant energy is to take a new action. Try something new. Change your scenery. Move your body. Do whatever you can do to move yourself from the current state of agitation into a place of peace. Lately, for me, this has been running, which is shocking to me because I have never, ever, been a runner. It’s been working wonders for me, and I’ll write more about that another time!

Take Five: Usually frustration stems from being, and feeling too busy, when this is the case, I always find relief by taking a break and sitting in silence. Meditation truly is a cure-all, in my opinion, but especially in circumstances such as these. When you start to feel that frustrating feeling, excuse yourself, wherever you are, (you can even step into the bathroom, and take a moment to just be with yourself, and remember that you have the power to create peace in any situation.

Stay Focused: Another culprit of frustration is feeling scattered and having scattered energy. Whenever I slip into multitasking, I truly feel completely out of sorts. I make mistakes, I run late, I’m forgetful, and that leads to all these agitating feelings. When I remember to do one thing at a time, and be present to whatever is in front of me, I remember my power and I find my calm.

Say No: People pleasing is a big source of frustration for me. When I spread myself too thin, and say yes to things that I really wish I said no to, I get super irritable. The beauty of this is that it truly is okay to say no to situations and circumstances that don’t feel aligned with your well-being and your highest good. You can say no to the party or the dinner or the social gathering, if it means that you say yes to yourself and your sense of peace.

Get Clear: Lately, a massive source of frustration has been a feeling of confusion. When I don’t have a sense of clarity, I feel completely upside down. I crave clarity, and so, when I find myself feeling frustrated I’ll ask myself the important questions to see where I can understand answers, desires, and clarity that will bring me back in alignment.

Breathe: When all else fails, remember to breathe. If you don’t have the time, effort, or awareness to take part in the tips above, remember that taking a nice deep breath, anywhere, at anytime, can help relieve a tense situation. A deep breath can shift your energy, release your stress, give you pause and help you to find that space where you can take the next right action. When in doubt, breathe it out.

Wow, I feel better already! How about you? What are some of your go-to’s when managing frustration and irritability?

xo, Michelle

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People Who Are Inspiring Me Right Now

No man (or woman) is an island. Even though we can cultivate all that we wish to be from the inside, life would be pretty boring and uneventful if we didn’t have people around us who inspire, motivate, and teach us what life really is all about.

While I know you all come to this blog and to our pages for the inspiration and wisdom that we provide, I felt that it was time that I open up and share who inspires me. And I’m so excited about that!

I am someone who constantly loves to learn and grow, and while social media and the internet tend to get a bad rep, the people mentioned here today make the online space what I think it was intended to be: a source of goodness and joy.

Thank you so much to those who I’ve mentioned here today, who have given me and the world so much.

Brittany Packnett (@mspackyetti) I am borderline obsessed with Brittany Packnett, and she knows it. I cannot express how much I’ve learned from her in the social justice, activism, and wellness space. While her mind is sharp, her soul and her presence shine through in everything that she does.

Florence Given (@florencegiven) Florence Given, or Floss, as she goes by, is an incredible force of a human. I often go to her page for a loving pat on the back when it comes to relationships, self-care and self-worth. She is the master of witty quips and a beautiful artist who fearlessly advocates for equality for all.

LiLi Hayim (@thewellnecessities) I know the internet can feel like an overwhelming place when it comes to health, nutrition and body acceptance, The Well Necessities brings an open, honest, and raw approach to wellness and what it’s like to be a woman in 2019. I always resonate deeply with Lili’s posts and I find that what she writes is usually exactly how I’m feeling, but always so much more eloquently stated!

Yung Pueblo (@yungpueblo) Known for his meaningful black and white quote graphics, I find that almost every post from Yung Pueblo speaks directly to my soul and gives me exactly what my insides are yearning for.

Jameela Jamil (@jameelajamilofficial) I tried really hard to keep this list celebrity free, but I just could not leave out Jameela Jamil. I am so in awe of her relentless pursuit of erasing diet culture in our society. She bravely calls out the social injustices that take place both online and in the real world, and is a role model, who I look up to when facing self-loathing thoughts about myself and body image.

Alexandra Ella (@alex_elle) Alex Elle has become somewhat of my online therapist. Her gentle reminders and soulful affirmations are always applicable and easy to implement into real life.

Jonathan Van Ness (@jvn) Again, I made a celebrity exception for Jonathan Van Ness, who I am incredibly inspired by right now. I’ve loved following him for some time now, but after reading his recent New York Times article about his history, advocacy, and truth, I felt that he must be on this list for his bravery, especially during these times. I am so moved by those who face their own fears, and speak their truths anyways.

Jeanette Ogden (@shutthekaleup) While she might be known for her drool-worthy shots of her healthy smoothies and delicious meals, I love following Jeanette for her honesty, vulnerability, and relatable story-telling about life as a mother and as a woman. I find her posts and her work incredibly educational and accessible, and though I don’t have children at this time, I know I’ll keep her words close to heart when I enter that time in my own life.

Mari Andrew (@bymariandrew) I have resonated with and loved Mari Andrew’s art for many years now. I’m sure you all have seen her art shared by accounts big and small. Her way with words and imagery is second to none.

Ann Loonam (@luckygirlbyann) Breast cancer survivor Ann Loonam is a wonderful and inspiring person, who I know from social media. She is always so willing and open to share about life, with it’s ups and downs and finding the silver lining to whatever happens with what life presents.

Barb Schmidt (@peaceful_barb) Last but not least, I couldn’t leave off my own mom, Peaceful Barb herself! I know how much time, effort and energy she puts into her posts. They are always authentic, real and straight from her heart. Love you, mom!

Who are you loving on the internet right now? Let me know in the comments so I can give them a follow!

xo, Michelle

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My thoughts on body image, the words we use, and what I wish we’d stop doing

I can vividly remember the moment when I first was introduced to the notion that my body, as it was in a given moment, could be considered “unacceptable.” For whatever reason, when I was in middle school, I attended a doctor’s appointment with my dad. It was a routine appointment.

While sitting in the office, the doctor, who also happened to be a family friend, attempted to awaken my dad to some of his health issues that stemmed from being overweight. The doctor informed us that if you could pinch an inch of fat on your stomach this meant that you were overweight, and that you must take measures to rectify it, if that were the case.

I felt the tone and the judgment that came along with being overweight. I felt the underlying truth that he was insinuating that it was “bad” to be this way. And as I sat there, taking in that information, I froze in panic, wondering if I fell into the category that the doctor was talking about.

When getting into the car to go home, I reached over to buckle my seatbelt, and noticed as I looked down, that I indeed had a roll of flesh, that folded over my shorts, and that fell into the category of this newly learned “one inch rule.” My heart sank, and I would never think about my body and my health the same way again.

It was at the same time that we, the collective middle school girls that I knew, had deemed Jennifer Love Hewitt the absolute “it” girl. She was in all the cool shows and all the best movies, and appeared in all of our fashion magazines. All of the girls wanted to be her, because she seemingly had it all. Fame, success, beauty, boys. And she had the body.

I remember one day flipping through one of my magazines, and coming across an ad with Jennifer. I stared at the ad trying to figure out how I could make myself look more like her. I could do my hair like her, wear my make up like her, and then it came to how I could make my body look like hers.

In that ad I noticed so distinctly, how visible her collar bones were. I raced to the mirror, checking to see if I, too, had that same quality. I was dismayed when I realized that my collar bones, had a little extra skin, and didn’t in face show in the way that my idol, Jennifer’s did. It was from that moment, that I installed the belief that if I could see my collar bones, I would be as skinny as Jennifer Love Hewitt, and in turn I would be considered as beautiful and as acceptable as she was.

These two stories are the most impactful moments that shaped my relationship with my body, my health, my relationship with myself, my self-worth, and ultimately my ability to love myself. I had concocted completely distorted beliefs of what it meant to be healthy and beautiful, all before I could even drive a car.

Since that time, I have spent minutes and hours and days (maybe even more) of my life consumed with being thin enough and pretty enough. It would be fascinating and devastating to learn how much of my time and energy has gone towards wanting to make myself smaller. I’ve held firmly the very gross but very present belief that skinny equals good, successful, desirable, and worthy. I never believed that who I was, or how I looked was ever good enough.

I’ve probably attempted every single weight loss gimmick. I’ve gone to every workout class. I’ve read every trendy nutrition book. I’ve emanated celebrities and mentors in hopes that if it worked for them, it will work for me. I’ve battled disordered eating, binging and purging, and maneuvered my way through a chronic illness that left me feeling completely disconnected from my body. 

The time and effort that I have spent in my life, trying to fit into a mold of health and beauty, truly overwhelms me. I used to think that I was very unique in these disordered and unloving thoughts about myself. I thought that there was something very wrong with me because I was wasting so much of my time and energy worrying about appearances, when I could be doing so many more productive things with my time. Over the past year, I’ve become overwhelmingly certain that every single woman has these kinds of thoughts, at least at one point or another. 

Isn’t it insane to think about the fact that every woman living on this planet has entertained thoughts of self-loathing and self-hatred? I believe that every woman has felt like they aren’t enough at one time or another because their bodies don’t fit a certain societal norm. Millions of people feel unworthy and unlovable because of it all. Who hasn’t wished at some point in time that she were born into a different life and/or a different body?

It leaves me so sad and mad and frustrated thinking about this. I wonder why and how these beauty norms came to be. Who made these rules and standards? And why? What was the motive and intention? What would life be like if none of us, ever felt the pressure to be smaller or skinnier? How would life be different if we didn’t place our value on our appearance? What would our world look like if we never felt like we felt the pressure to change our physical appearance, and if it was just completely status quo to be accepting of yourself?

I speak to all of this from a vantage point of a woman, because that is my experience, but I know that men experience this, too. We’ve been taught to believe that skinny is good and beautiful is valuable. We speak to it, every day, to our loved ones and those around us. We reinforce it, all the time.

How often do we catch up with a girlfriend and our first inclination is to make a comment on how skinny and subsequently, amazing she looks? How often to do we make judgments based on the fluctuations of the appearances of others? How often do we control and manipulate and ensure that photos are taken from the good angles that make us look the skinniest? How many of us have edited or photoshopped ourselves in photos to diminish aspects of our bodies that we just can’t stand the world to see? 

These values and our language when it comes to body image and health are so incredibly damaging. Just this past week, I was at an event and was approached by a woman. She looked at me in surprise, as if she didn’t recognize me, and blurted out, “Michelle, is that you? You’re skinny!”

Based on my reaction, which was a blank stare and a dropped jaw, she continued to explain that perhaps I couldn’t be me, maybe I was someone else, because she hadn’t remembered me looking this way. And then of course, went on to say that this was all meant to be a compliment.

We, as human beings, have to start taking responsibility for the words we use when speaking to one another regarding body and image and appearance. We have to put the onus on ourselves to right these very damaging and dangerous wrongs. We have to break these archaic patterns of what is deemed beautiful and acceptable, and see the world through a new lens.

Please, think twice before making a comment about someone else’s looks, appearance, body or health, even if you believe it to be complimentary. Women (and humans in general) are so much more than the external. There is so much more we can compliment. There is so much more we can discuss and find value in.

Please remember that you never fully know what is happening for someone else in their lives and in their own battles with self-acceptance. Had I experienced that conversation from this week, even a year ago, it would have utterly devastated me, and it would have propelled me into a dark and dangerous spiral. Please, stop comparing yourself with who you think society wants you to be and just own and love exactly who you are.

These days, at almost 34 years old, I intend every day to love myself, no matter what. I work every single day to untangle the messy, disgusting messages that were fed to me so many years ago. I make immense effort to be mindful of the words I use when describing myself, and others.

I’ve placed so much emphasis and intention on rewriting these lies that I’ve believed for so long, and I strive to take care of myself in a way that feels aligned and healthy for me and my journey. I’m not endlessly attempting to achieve some sort of external perfection, but rather a state where I feel comfortable, happy, and at home within myself. Where my inside feelings match my external appearance. 

I believe that we are in a time and place where we can shift the way we talk about health and body, and that we can change these biases and beliefs. We as a society, don’t have to live this way, and we have the power and ability to change it. 

Who wants to join me?

xo, Michelle 

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5 Affirmations for Embracing Fall

For some reason, the transition from summer to fall always feels a bit tricky for me. I’m not sure if I still have some of that childhood emotion about summertime being the time for lightheartedness and fun, but I know that I’ve always loved the energy of summer, and I’ve always felt a sense of sadness and even dread when summer comes to a close.

I’ve had a lot of conversations with people around me lately who definitely can relate. It’s fascinating to me how the different seasons take on different energies, and I know that the summer state of mind is one we all wish we could maintain year round.

We know that seasons change, life continues to move forward, and this is a good thing! A new season brings so much possibility, opportunity, and growth, if we are open and receptive to it.

Even though I have always held a soft spot in my heart for summer, there is something truly magical about fall. As we begin to enter this new season, I wanted to share with you my favorite five affirmations that I’ll be using to usher myself into this new season and new energy.

1. May this new chapter bring me happiness, peace, excitement, and ease.

2. I release resistance to change, and embrace what this new season has in store for me.

3. I am excited to see what new opportunities and possibilities come into my life.

4. I give myself the necessary time, energy, and space to care for myself and my needs.

5. It’s okay to slow down. I know that everything that needs to get done, will get done.

What are some of your intentions and thoughts as we head into this new season?

Let me know!

xo, Michelle

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How I Weather Incoming Storms

This week has been a whirlwind, to say the least. It’s funny how you can make plans for your life, and then have everything turned upside down when unexpected storms are at your doorstep.

I say this in the physical sense, as we in Florida have been bracing ourselves for the effects of Hurricane Dorian, but metaphorically it has so much meaning, too.

Potentially catastrophic storms brewing in the distance have a tendency to bring out and bring up a lot for us, as humans. There’s fear, uncertainty, anxiety, and the unease that comes from waiting.

To me, that’s the biggest piece of it all, the waiting. The uncertainty. The fact that no one knows how any of this will pan out.

It’s funny though, because that’s life in regularity too, isn’t it?

We never really know what tomorrow will bring for us. What potential “storms” make rock our worlds. Life is unpredictable and uncertain, always. Which, yes, I know sounds harsh and grim, but I promise you, there’s a silver lining.

Weathering storms, whether physical or internal, require presence and awareness. When we know and accept that life is truly unpredictable, we release the need to try and control it. In this release, we can take all the real actions we need, in whatever circumstances arise, that can lead to the best case resolution.

Storms leave less of a devastation in our lives when we have a strong foundation built from within.

The time that we spend working on ourselves is our preparation. Our self-care practices are our lifelines. Our ability to see through the weeds to know what’s true is what brings peace and understanding. And our ability to stay present to what is, makes us calm and at ease. When we have confidence, faith, trust, and ease from within ourselves, we can maneuver through anything.

Remember, worrying, ruminating, overanalyzing, and writing stories will never propel us to lead the life that we wish to lead, in fact, they will drain us and keep us stuck.

Presence, patience, clear-mindedness, and trust will always guide us through the darkest of storms.

xo,

Michelle

The post How I Weather Incoming Storms appeared first on Peaceful Mind Peaceful Life.

What I Want to Remind You About Regarding Purpose

I know that “purpose” is an incredibly hot self-help buzzword these days. If you were to do an internet search on the word, you would probably find dozens of events, workshops, and even blogs hoping to teach about the importance of purpose, and how you can find it.

For a long, long time I lived in the purpose rabbit hole. I read the blogs and attended the workshops because I believed that purpose was incredibly important, and that, if I really wanted to be successful and better yet, live a fulfilled life, I had to find my purpose.

While deeply stuck in that hole, I believed that purpose was a tangible, knowable thing that functioned outside of myself. And it felt very, very elusive to me under those circumstances. I thought that if I dug deep enough and did enough work, I would magically come up with a title or answer that would completely define my purpose, and why I’m here on this planet.

But honestly, that moment of clarity (at least in the definition above) never came. And I felt really confused and down on myself because of that. I envied my friends who could define their purpose easily with a simple word or title—doctor, lawyer, astrologer, coach, etc.

I craved the security of falling into a place of what I thought purpose was. But none of those titles and words ever fit me. It didn’t come easily, and I struggled with that.

I thought for a long, long time that me not fitting into the standard “purpose” boxes or titles meant that there was something wrong with me. But now, I’ve come to learn that it taught me something much deeper. It helped me to redefine what purpose really is, and how it authentically plays a role in my life.

Purpose isn’t solely what you do and how you spend your time. Purpose is the energy that you bring to your life and to the people you interact with every single day. Purpose is an honoring of who you are in each moment. It is knowing that you, your life circumstances, and desires will change over time. Purpose isn’t an external title, but rather it is an inner desire to show up every single day as the best version of yourself.

It is in those definitions that my purpose becomes clear because I know without a shred of doubt, the kind of person I want to be. And that person can show up in any external title that presents itself in my life. It isn’t my talents, my skills, or even my influence that gives me purpose, but rather, it is the feeling I have inside when I know I’m doing things that are aligned with my soul.

When we start to look at purpose from this place, it no longer feels scary when life changes around us because we are solid from the inside out. Purpose no longer becomes something of privilege because it lives in all of us, no matter our backgrounds. It is in this lens that purpose becomes inclusive and easily attainable, so long as we go within ourselves to find the answers that we seek.

If any of you have ever felt how I felt about navigating purpose, I hope this helps you and brings you a sense of peace and relief. I certainly has for me.

If you feel called to share what your purpose is, I’d love to read about it in the comments.

xo,

Michelle

The post What I Want to Remind You About Regarding Purpose appeared first on Peaceful Mind Peaceful Life.