Barbara Schmidt's Blog, page 18

Remember It’s Important to Take a Break

Hello friends!

I know that time, and schedules, and planning have all been turned upside down in this very strange year! We’ve talked a lot, here in the blog about shifting our expectations, being resilient, and how to be understanding in a time of uncertainty. How often, though, do we apply this to ourselves?

Without a doubt, no matter who you are or where you live, this year has presented unique challenges and difficulties. I want to remind you this week, that even during hard times or sad times, it’s important to cut yourself some slack, show yourself some grace, and give yourself a break.

Now more than ever, it’s crucial for us to have the awareness to know when to stop, when to give ourselves a pause, and when to take a rest, in order to reset and regroup.

It’s usually in our nature to propel through the uncomfortable and the uncertain, to avoid the feelings and unpleasantries, but I promise you, the time you give back to yourself will provide so much back for you. At first our minds will go wild, wanting us to believe that this quieted space is a bad thing, often thinking the following:

What will happen in that space of nothingness?

Will I let people down?

Will I fall behind? Will someone else surpass me?

Will I be forgotten?

Will I lose my creative flow?

Will I not start back up again?

Will I fail?

These are some of the questions I thought to myself when resisting taking a break. And the answer to all of them is a simple and meaningful no.

Taking breaks, creating spaces, taking pauses in life are a crucial, critical part of our self-care and self-preservation practices. Taking a moment of pause before starting again is regeneration and renewal. Giving yourself the gift of time and space cultivates creativity. Personal time solidifies the strong foundation we have from within to shine as bright as we can.

Taking breaks doesn’t always come easy to us, so I want to gently and confidently remind you that it’s okay. Breaks are allowed, and often it is necessary to pause, take a break, and start again.

Breaks can come in many forms and circumstances, and if you’re feeling called to pause, I hope you honor it, and remember…

…it’s okay to take a break from your work

…it’s okay to take a break from a relationship

…it’s okay to take space from someone you love

…it’s okay to take a break from your creative passions

…it’s okay to take a break during busy days

…it’s okay to take a break from your physical routine and diet

…it’s okay to take a break from your social calendar

…it’s okay to take a break and just be

This week, I commit to taking a break from stressing about my writing. If you feel called to share, what will you consciously take a break from this week?

Let’s keep the conversation going in the comments!

xo, Michelle

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The Truth About Purpose

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How I Deal With Negative Thoughts

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The Art Of Discernment

Hello dear friends!

This week I want to discuss a topic that has been sitting in my heart for quite some time. It’s really a privilege for me to be able to share my thoughts and opinions with you here weekly, and hopefully, simply share powerful tools we can use to help us maneuver through life.

I believe deeply in the importance of truth. In fact, this blog today is a bit of a piggy back off of last week’s blog on the importance of truth! There’s so much going on in our lives, in our minds, and on our screens, that offer up varying degrees of truth, and to be honest, for me, it’s become increasingly more challenging to discern, to uncover, and to know what is true.

But like I said last week, and I’ll say this forever, the truth matters, the truth is the foundation from which we live an aligned and powerful life. My favorite quote from my mom is, “truth is the basis of all healing”. There is so much power, meaning, and purpose in the truth. But, we must take the time, and make the space, to get to the deep root of truth.

How can we do that? Through the practice and the art of discernment.

Like most things in life, we get better at something when we practice, when we cultivate experience, and when we learn from mistakes. I believe this can be applied in our pursuit of strengthening our discernment muscle.

So, here are my tips for doing this:

Remember your intention and desire to live and be in alignment with truth
Give yourself the space and time to ask important questions
Know when it’s time to dig deeper, look closer, and pause
Tune into your gut instincts and intuition, so that you can recognize red flags
Don’t be afraid to have hard conversations surrounding the truth
Honor your truth by speaking it, by living it, in a kind, open-hearted way

I hope this little guide is helpful for you to start building up YOUR discernment muscle! I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below!

xo, Michelle

 

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The Power Of The Truth

My friends, I want to talk this week about the power and importance of the truth. I’ve spent a lot of time in contemplation on what truth actually means, for ourselves, for our family and loved ones, for our society, and for the world. We are taught at a young age that we must always tell the truth, and that the truth will set you free. What does that really mean though? What does that look like when it plays our in our lives? And at what point to we veer from that?

Somewhere along the road, we pick up tendencies to tell white lies or blur the edges, to avoid conflict or even for the sake of manipulation.

For me, the truth about truth is that it is truly the basis of everything that we do. The truth influences every single aspect of our lives, and we can either use that truth to propel us forward or to hold us back.

We all have a different relationship with truth, and in today’s blog, I hope to plant a seed within you, to look deeper into your own relationship with your truth and how you speak your truth.

If you had ever asked me if I considered myself to be an honest person, I would unequivocally answered yes. From the time I was a small child, the values of honesty and integrity were deeply instilled in me. I felt that honesty was a big piece of who I am and what I value.

The truth is, though, I am an honest person, but to a degree. Of course, I try my best not to lie or cheat and manipulate, but I’ve found in the past, I tend to avoid the full truth when it came to people pleasing and adherence to societal standards and norms.

I’m often challenged, when it comes to saying “no”, whether to a person or an invitation. I now see that there is some reason instilled deep within myself that forces me to believe that I can’t just say no, I have to give a reason, and the reason better be good. This is where my inner liar would come into play. Whenever I would feel pressured to show up in my life, I would rack my brain to come up with crafty stories and reasons as to why I wasn’t able to show up. And that story writing is exhausting and completely unnecessary.

Life has provided me many lessons in learning to just tell the truth, especially lately. Rather than falling back into my old patterns, I decided it was time to just gracefully, gently say no. No lies, just truth.

Once I started to give myself the permission to say no, to be confident, and to tell the truth without excuse or reason, my life began to feel lighter and more free. Because the truth is, telling the truth saves everyone’s time, and allows you to show up in life, exactly who you are.

When you tell the truth, in a strong, confident way, you create clarity in a situation, and you create space to allow others to do the same. Telling the truth is the most empowering life practice you can choose to partake in. You’ll feel more aligned, energized, and the people around you will actually value you more for being so straight forward.

This week, I encourage you all to take a look into your own lives and see where little untruths come into play, and just notice it. See how these dynamics play out, see how it impacts your energy, your relationships, and your life in general.

It’s true what they say, the truth does set you free, and how amazing it is to be the ones to gift ourselves this freedom.

xo, Michelle

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Connecting With Our Values

Hi friends,

I know this year has been confusing, chaotic, and uncertain. Life has those elements anyways, but experiencing it all at once, can feel almost too much to bear.

Whenever life gets too overwhelming externally, I always take that as a cue to drill down, internally. I fully believe in the power of establishing a strong relationship with ourselves, bringing positive and helpful practices in to our daily routines, and being mindful of our thoughts and actions day in and day out. It’s this inner work that I feel extends into our outward reality and helps us to navigate through this winding, difficult, and often times confusing life.

One of the most enriching, and clarifying practices in my life, is to understand and tap into what I value. For so long I considered values to be institutionalized beliefs and systemic standards that were to be placed upon me rather than cultivated within me. Values are deeply personal, and play an incredibly important role in our lives. They are a foundational piece of our identity, influencing much of our thoughts, beliefs, and actions.

Knowing this to be true, we can begin to recognize the importance of understanding what we value, why we value it, and how we choose to live in alignment with those values.

In order to connect with our true values, we have to set aside the unaligned ones that have been placed upon us, and ask ourselves the important, vulnerable questions that resonate with our soul’s truth.

Sitting quietly, with a journal, slowly ask yourself these questions. Without overthinking or overanalyzing, write down what answers come to mind, and free write the responses.

Who am I?

What do I really want?

What do I value?

What impact do I wish to have on the world?

What are the aligned actions I can take that bring me closer to what I desire?

Whenever I take part in this practice, I always learn something new about myself, and it is so rewarding. In establishing and truly understanding what I, Michelle, value in this life I have felt such a feeling of freedom, confidence, clarity, and peace. I wish that deeply for all of you.

xo,

Michelle

p.s. If any of this resonated with you, let me know in the comments! I read through all the comments no matter when they are posted.

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My Favorite People I Look to For Inspiration and Wisdom

My dear friends,

Though this year has been extraordinarily challenging and unexpected, the silver lining for me has been the opportunity to share thoughts and feelings with you here, and experience this community on a deeper, more meaningful level. It’s an honor and a true joy to be able to share with you pieces of my life, insights from difficulty, and the tools I rely on to help me find a place of balance and peace.

One of the core tenants of my personal practice is taking in inspiration and wisdom from others. I learn from people who are experts in their fields, those who have gone through shared experience, artists, comics, and people who just wish to make the world a little bit brighter. I think it’s important, now more than ever, to make sure that we are consciously taking in just as much positivity as the world is providing in negativity.

I wanted to share with you this week, the people who I’ve been looking to as a source of light, knowledge, truth, and inspiration. It’s important to me to share this platform with those who have such a beautiful impact on my life, and I offer up this week’s blog to those listed here, in gratitude for doing so much, in a time that feels so tough.

Please know that this list isn’t comprehensive! There are so many others I hold near and dear to my heart, and as we move forward I will keep sharing about these beautiful souls, but for now, this list is a start, and I hope your life is as positively influenced by these amazing souls, just like mine.

 

1. Nakeia Homer: I am one-hundred percent truthful when I say that Nakeia, her energy, her words, and her content are a blessing to my timeline and to my life. It’s a rarity for me to say this, but every single thing she puts on the internet, resonates with me on a deep level. It’s somehow like she’s tapped into my soul, and knows exactly what I need to hear, and how I need to hear it, in that moment. I’m not alone in this belief, whenever I’ve shared her words on Instagram, I get messages from others who are deeply moved by her work. Nakeia’s work is the warm Covid-free hug that we all could use at this point in 2020.

2. Amanda Frances: Amanda is actually a dear friend of mine, so this might be a bit of a conflict of interest, but that’s just how much I appreciate her content, especially during this year. I don’t know a person who fully honors, loves, and accepts herself while simultaneously encouraging others to do the same like she does. She is the queen of showing you how to reframe life, and it’s difficulties, and she truly is the master at cultivating abundance. There have been many times throughout this year I’ve silently asked myself, “What would Amanda do?” when faced with a problem, so with that alone I’d say that deserves her a spot on this list, but she’ll turn your world upside down, and she looks fabulous while doing so.

3. Ziwe: I have become majorly addicted to Ziwe Fumudoh’s digital show, “Baited.” This year has brought to the surface the unhealed and unsolved issue of racism in America, and Ziwe brilliantly and comedically tackles this weekly on her Instagram Lives. I’ve learned so much from her about equality, systemic injustices, and how we all can educate ourselves to be better in 2020. Watch her show, and keep an eye out for the classic Ziwe zoom-in. You will love her.

4. Amanda Kloots: A few years ago I wrote a blog about reuniting with my passion for dance. Amanda Kloots helped to reignite that love. I religiously took her dance classes in New York City years ago, and have been inspired by her ever since. This year, she has endured the unimaginable, losing her 40-year-old husband to Covid-19. Amanda bravely documented her experience on social media, and never ever gave up hope and a positive attitude. She since has been sharing incredible messages on grief, optimism, and resilience, and her light shines so bright.

5. Devi Brown: I was introduced to Devi when we participated in the Share the Mic movement a few months ago. In a twist of fate, we were paired with her to share platforms, and from then on, she has graced my life with the most magic and deep wisdom. Devi’s knowledge on spirituality, wellness, and inspiration is as vast as it is deep, and her messages always strike a resonant tone for me. You can feel her magnetic energy through the screen, and I always find myself smiling when reading her words or watching her videos.

6. Daily E-Book Deals: A “Bookstagram” account, that is run by another dear friend, Erika Oppenheimer. Pivoting her life due to the pandemic, Erika threw herself into a new project based in her deep love of books. Many of us have found ourselves home more often, and have taken the opportunity to finally read the books sitting on our nightstands. Daily Book Deals is an incredible resource for books on sale, and Erika does a masterful job at breaking down themes, topics, and genres. If you’re a book lover, she is a must follow.

7. Donté Colley: I started following Donté a few years ago because I absolutely loved his infectious and inspirational dance videos. I often joked that Donté was my internet life coach, his content impacted me that much. He provides the perfect combination of light-hearted fun, relevant information, and reflective insight. He goes deep when the time requires it and provides levity when needed too, I’m very grateful for his presence online and in the world

8. Female Collective: This account is run by a phenomenal woman, Candace Reels. Her tagline of the account states, “where women are celebrated, uplifted, supported, and empowered everyday,” and that basically says it all. Female Collective posts are relatable, sometimes humorous, and oftentimes relevant to the times. Whenever I see a post of Candace’s on my feed, I always stop to take a look at what she has to say.

9. The Sunday Paper: I truly love Maria Shriver‘s The Sunday Paper. I was blessed to be asked to write a piece earlier this year for the publication on the topic of love and relationships, but regardless of that, I’ve been an avid reader and follower of the account. Maria and her team always provide thought-provoking content from an incredibly diverse group of people. I look forward to each week’s Paper, knowing that I always takeaway so much for my mind, heart, and soul.

10. The Get Up and Go Family: If you’re looking for an adorable, humorous, and completely real family account, this one is for you. Full transparency, I know this family personally; however, the joy I feel following them around on their wild adventures of five young children (two sets of twins!), a beautiful husband and wife, and their many farm animals is just unmatched, and so needed during these times. In normal circumstances, the family travels the world together and to see it through their eyes is incredible. In pandemic times, you’ll find them on their farm, and having just as much fun as on the road. They always bring a smile to my face!

Thank you for allowing me to share some pieces of the internet that bring me so much joy! I’d love to hear who is lighting you up these days, please share the love in the comments!

xo, Michelle

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One Simple Practice to Shift Your Energy

My dear friends,

I know that the blogs we have been producing over the past few months have been heavier in nature and in message. It’s my intention to hopefully provide tangible tools, insights, or even a message of solidarity to help you all navigate through these difficult moments that we find ourselves in. I, like you, often find myself questioning every aspect of life, wondering when this very intense energy will begin to shift, and even feel weighed down and despondent about the state of our society. I say all of this to preface this week’s message, and to let you know that I am present to the temperature of these times, and I am always trying to provide helpful content in response to what we are dealing with.

With that being said, this week I want to up the vibe a bit, and hopefully equip you to find your sense of inner power, strength, and creativity to live your life on your own terms, even in this very wild year.

As I said, this year is tough, and that’s probably an understatement. We are currently dealing with many different layered, complicated, societal issues that do not seem to have an end in sight. This is a collective trauma, and I just want for you to take a minute and remind yourself of this truth, in hopes of letting yourself off the hook of any perfectionism or added pressure you may be piling on at this moment.

It’s incredibly easy to allow the difficulty of the world to take us out and erase the good or positive that may be happening in our lives personally. For whatever reason, our brains love to hold onto what I like to call the rabbit hole thoughts, the thoughts that are negatively charged in nature, that lead to another and another and another; a rabbit hole.

The practice this week I hope will help you dip back into your innate, positive, creative mindset so that you can start to feel more empowered and in charge of your personal world, from the inside out. Whenever I need to shift my energy or quell my rabbit hole thinking, I do a visualization meditation to bring myself back to a centered place of peace and power.

Visualization is a simple practice of closing your eyes, and envisioning in your mind, an idealized or preferred state of being. You can imagine where you’d like to see yourself in five years, or living in your dream house, or surrounded by the most supportive, aligned friends and loved ones. All you have to do is take a few moments to allow your mind to imagine and explore, which will ultimately allow you to feel what it would be like to be living in this idealized state.

Often times when I complete a visualization meditation, I come back to the present moment with a big smile on my face, absolutely because I’ve allowed myself to feel my way into the idealization even before it’s physically come to form.

When you allow your mind to visualize in extreme detail how you would ultimately like to be living your life, you send a trigger to your brain that these feelings are actually possible. There is a classic quote “I’ll believe it when I see it”, and I believe that when we visualize even in our minds, the things that we would like to see, we start to put the wheels in motion to make those dreams a reality.

This week, I hope that you can carve out a little time in your life to close your eyes and think about your life, what you love about it, what you maybe would like to see change, and how you would like to feel living your precious life. Ask yourself what emotions and feelings come through as you visualize this dream life. Take note of this experience. When you’re done visualizing, start to identify areas in your life where you can feel those same feelings, right now, in this moment.

The energy that you wish to live in, is available to you now. If you want to be more light-hearted, monitor the content that you’re taking in and the people you surround yourself with. If you desire more purpose and meaning, notice your influences and spend your time accordingly.

The beauty of this practice is that we don’t have to wait for everything to be perfect, for us to start to live the life of our dreams. We can start now, and I hope you’ll join me!

xo, Michelle

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Managing Unnecessary Stress

Hi my sweet friends,

I will keep this week’s message to you short, and sweet, as I know we all have so much that we are managing these days, I’d like to take up as little of your precious time as possible!

Let’s have a chat about unnecessary stress, how that’s different than regular life stress, and how we can start to manage and eliminate the these pesky things in life that we just don’t need to go through.

We all know that we are living in a difficult, unprecedented era of time, and there are many, many stresses that we are experiencing that we often don’t have the bandwidth or the tools to deal with, and that is all very real. So please remember, if you’re struggling to process everyday life it’s very okay and very, very normal. A gentle reminder for all of us, in times of extreme difficulty, we must double down on care, which includes prioritizing health, wellness, and boundary setting.

Life, in normal circumstances, is stressful. We are perpetually juggling many things at once, and of course, it takes a toll, and can make us feel scattered, anxious, and exhausted. There is a difference though, between the natural stresses of life, and what I like to call (or what my therapist named for me), unnecessary stress.

Unnecessary stress simply defined, is the stress that is brought into your life that is not yours to carry and is certainly not yours to solve. Unnecessary stress comes in the form of other people (usually toxic), systems, outside entities, and unhealthy habits that we cultivate within ourselves. Unnecessary stress makes our already complicated lives, even more so, and this week I want to give you the permission to release these added burdens that weigh heavy on you.

As empathetic humans, we tend to want to take on battles that aren’t ours to fight, and we burn ourselves out in the process of doing so. If you’re feeling that deep sense of burn out, stress, and extra anxiety, please take some time this week to take inventory of your life and see where unnecessary stress is creeping its way in, and know that you have the power to say no and escort it right out.

In order to take care of yourself in these extraordinary times, it’s required that you set boundaries to manage “life disruptors” that are not yours. You’re allowed to say no to the things that perpetually drain you of your energy, efforts, and resources.

These past few months alone, in my personal life, I’ve had to set extra firm boundaries with people I hold dear, and I’ve had to make major lifestyle changes to protect my mental health and wellbeing. It’s not always easy to do so, but the relief I feel from making these changes is invaluable.

You will never regret taking aligned actions, to protect yourself, your health, and your energy. Where will you start to release unnecessary stress in your life?

xo, Michelle

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How I Manage Frustration

My sweet friends,

We all continue to feel the intensity of the times we find ourselves in. Summer is coming to an end, kids are going back to school, and COVID-19 is still here, in full force. The energy is palpable, and the frustration is very real. Early on with the stay-at-home orders, I started to feel anxiety about the thought of life passing me by, and that I was going to get stuck in a rut that would feel impossible to get out of. As time passed, these feelings intensified, and I started to feel really frustrated; by my lack of control of life around me, by the uncertainty, and honestly, by the disconnect I was feeling with my community around me.

Though I’ve been practicing mindfulness tools for quite sometime, I know that this practice doesn’t ever make me perfect in dealing with life and its ups and downs, however, it does absolutely make me more aware. I noticed that my festering frustration wasn’t helpful, and I knew that I had a choice; I could continue to feel that way, or take a different action and course-correct. The awareness my practice provides, allows me to take positive, brave actions, in the midst of chaos. This, my friends, is the real value and the meaning of this work.

Life is difficult, unpredictable, uncertain, and COVID-19 has reinforced this truth for all of us. So if you’re anything like me, and you’ve found yourself in a season of frustration, I want to reinforce for you that this is life, these moments will come, and they will go, and we can truly trust the beauty of impermanence. So my deepest desire is that you will find benefit and hope from the tools below. I believe trusting ourselves completely and connecting with our unshakeable faith within,  will offer us the strength, confidence, and calm needed when life presents us with difficulty, especially during this unprecedented pandemic. I send you all so much love, and please be gentle, patient, and care for yourselves as we maneuver through these times.

Change it up: I find that when I’m feeling frustrated, it’s a signal that there’s stagnation somewhere in my life. The best way to break through stagnant energy is to take a new action, even if a small one. Try something new. Change your scenery. Move your body. Do whatever you can do to move yourself from the current state of agitation into a place of calm. For me during this time, I like to take a quick drive on a nice day with the windows down in my car, it allows me to collect my thoughts, center myself, and helps me to refocus my energy.

Take a break: Frustration can stem from being, and feeling too busy, and having too much on our plates. We are all juggling life in a much different manner than we were at the beginning of this year. Allow yourself to take breaks when you need. Meditation truly is a cure-all, in my opinion, but especially in circumstances such as these. When you start to feel that frustrating feeling, excuse yourself, wherever you are, (you can even step into the bathroom, and take a moment to just be with yourself, take a few deep breaths, and remember that you have the power to create peace in any situation.

Stay Focused: Another culprit of frustration is feeling scattered and having scattered energy. Multitasking does this for me! I make mistakes, I run late, I’m forgetful, and this leads to all these agitating feelings. When I remember to do one thing at a time, and be present to whatever is in front of me, I feel powerful, in control, and I find my calm.

Remember you’re allowed to say no: People pleasing is a large source of frustration for me, and probably for most of us. When I spread myself too thin, and say yes to things that I really wish I said no to, I get irritable and even resentful. The beauty of these frustrating feelings is our reminder that it’s okay to say no to situations and circumstances that don’t feel aligned with your well-being, your highest good, and your right to just say no for no reason at all!  You can say no to the party or the dinner or the social gathering, if it means that you say yes to yourself and your sense of peace.

Receive clarity: Lately, a massive source of frustration for me has been a feeling of confusion. When I don’t have a sense of clarity, I feel completely upside down. I crave clarity, and so, when I find myself feeling frustrated I’ll ask myself the important questions that help me get the answers and understanding I need to bring me back in alignment with my clarity and desires.

Remember to breathe:  Above all, remember to breathe. If you don’t have the time, effort, or awareness to take part in the tips above, remember that taking a nice deep breath, anywhere, at anytime, can help relieve a tense situation. A deep breath can shift your energy, release your stress, give you pause and help you to find that space where you can take the next right action. When in doubt, breathe it out.

xo, Michelle

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