Barbara Schmidt's Blog, page 29

6 Things to Remember When Hurting

We are experiencing some painful times these past few months. Whether you are hurting from the events of the world, or having personal difficulties, it is hard sometimes to see the light when the darkness can feel so dense. This week I am not going into the details of how even the darkest times have meaning; that’s for our discussion another day. Today I want to share six of my go-to simple reminders to help you ease what you may be going through and promote a sense of peace and well-being. Life, though filled with lessons, is meant to be enjoyable and fun!

So here you go affirmations to remember that can bring you back to the joy in painful periods. These bring me back home every time.

1. Life is constantly changing. What you are experiencing now will not be forever. Feel whatever feelings are coming up for you, but don’t dwell in negativity.

2. All periods in life have purpose, and without the valleys, we would not appreciate the peaks. Contrast in life gives life meaning.

3. You can take back your power by remembering that your thoughts are constantly creating your reality. What do you choose to create?

4. No matter what, there is always a takeaway from every situation. Everything that life brings us is an opportunity to learn and grow.

5. Be gentle with yourself. You are doing the best you can in this very moment. Judging and being hard on yourself won’t make the pain go away any faster.

6. You are never alone. Don’t be afraid to speak up when things feel too hard. Asking for help doesn’t make you weak.

I hope these powerful reminders bring you a sense of ease and peace. Remember my friends we are all in the same boat.

I would love to hear what you guys rely on when times are tough. Let’s keep the inspiration going in the comments below!

xoxo, Michelle

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We Were Born for These Times

When times are tough, one of the greatest tools I rely on is my ability to change my perspective and view things differently. I know that how I view the world, and the thoughts I think are so important and powerful. These past few months have been incredibly eye opening to me. I have found that the more that I learn about the world, the more necessary it is for me to rely on my tools to remain positive and empowered.

The world is going through some very challenging times. If you watch the news for long enough, you hear stories that make you mad, sad, and everything in between. I will admit that I have felt very helpless lately. It feels like there is so much to do, so many wrongs to right.

With so many injustices, so much darkness, and so much hatred, where do we even start? It may feel like the world is worse than ever, but history shows us that just like the difficult times have happened before, there will always be the empowered, thoughtful, and inspired people who lead the way through.

Every single one of you reading this blog is a leader who can help bring us to more peaceful times. Inspired by an essay by Clarissa Pinkola Estes, my mantra when I start to feel completely helpless is, “We were born for these times.” This affirmation immediately reminds me that we are here right now, on purpose. It completely changes my perspective and helps me to remember that we are never given anything we can not handle.

We are all here on this earth, at this moment in time, to contribute something. We all have a purpose. We all have the skills, thoughts, compassion, and knowledge to create a world that does not feel scary, unstable, and unjust.

The time is now to awaken our inner activists. We are no longer able to turn away from the problems of the world. We know too much, we’ve seen too much, and we all can do better. Because we are aware, we must take a stand.

There is always going to be some sort of battle to be fought, but the key to fighting is remembering that we are specifically equipped to fight each one. We were born for these times.

My plea for you all this week is to dive deep into your souls, and find what causes you are ready to fight for. Every single one of you is needed. No act of kindness is too small. If each of us does our part, imagine the world that we would live in.

We are all alive right now in this moment to contribute something. What is your contribution going to be?

Here’s an excerpt from the essay:

“We are needed, that is all we can know. And though we meet resistance, we more so will meet great souls who will hail us, love us and guide us, and we will know them when they appear. Didn’t you say you were a believer? Didn’t you say you pledged to listen to a voice greater? Didn’t you ask for grace? Don’t you remember that to be in grace means to submit to the voice greater? (you can find the entire essay on line.)

xoxo, Michelle

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5 Affirmations for Cultivating Self-Love

Whenever I begin to write my blogs, I silently ask myself what would be the most useful and helpful for the people who will read it. I then think about my life: the main themes, challenges, and lessons that have been popping up. Of course, current events also undoubtedly influences our lives day in and day out. With that being said, this week I got the hit that we could all use a self-love boost.

As we know, love is the root and foundation of everything in our lives. Often times, we are too happy to share the love for everyone and everything else, but fall short when it comes to ourselves. Self-love is important. Self-love isn’t just a nice theory to write about every once and a while. It IS necessary and crucial for happy, purposeful, and meaningful living.

You are worthy of the love that you so freely share with others. Now more than ever, we need to focus on love, starting from within and emanating out to everyone else in the world. We must do the work on ourselves to bring about the kind of world we wish to create and live in.

When we begin to truly love ourselves everything changes. Make the decision today to love yourself, and never let it be open for discussion again. The love that you cultivate for yourself will be the foundation for everything else you desire in life.

As we know, our thoughts are very powerful and can create the change we wish to see, so what better way to kick start our self-love journey than with some powerful affirmations to bring you into that loving place.

These five affirmations are powerful, meaningful, and effective. They have served me and continue to benefit me in my journey to fully loving myself.

I love myself fully and completely.
It is safe for me to trust my thoughts, beliefs, and desires.
My body is a healthy and supportive home. It takes care of me always.
I am worthy of love, happiness, and peace of mind.
My life is purposeful, meaningful, and a powerful force in this world.

I hope you take these affirmations, tweak them so that they suit you, help you feel aligned, and use them often on your journey.

My desire is that these will help you shift any negative thoughts about yourself back to love and help you to feel more at ease, content, and at peace. Remember, loving yourself is not selfish, it is required. Just as you absolutely benefit greatly by cultivating self-love, so does our world. It starts with us!

Let me know what other affirmations you have been using, and keep me posted on your progress!

xoxo, Michelle

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How to Attract More of What You Want in Life

We all have desires, wishes, hopes and dreams. Many of us work so hard, hustle, and try to do everything it takes to get what we want and still feel empty handed. We think success and getting what you want has to do with luck. What if I told you that you have control of what you get in life? The good news is you do have that power. The bad news is you have to work for it. What I mean by work for it is you have to change your thoughts, which for many of us is a lot of work. Your thoughts truly matter; your thoughts become things. Your thoughts become your reality.

I have been spending a lot of time listening and reading books on the Law of Attraction. This has lead me to really start to observe my thoughts, acknowledge my current situation, and think about what thoughts I might have had to create the situations I am experiencing right now. Usually, I can pinpoint a thought or belief system that has manifested into a life situation that is in the present moment, which I might not really desire. This has been a huge revelation for me, as it has given me a big sense of control in what I am creating for my life.

The simple act of redirecting my thoughts and reframing my beliefs has dramatically changed my life. I have found so much freedom and happiness in simply being aware of how I want to feel, and choosing thoughts based on those desires. It’s time to be the magical co-creator of the life of your dreams. You can have what you desire, you just have to start with the thoughts in the mind.

Are you ready to change your thoughts and change your life? Here is a simple step-by-step guide to get you on the right path.

1. Get clear. How do you want to feel, and what do you wish to attract? Clarity is the foundation on which you build the life of your dreams.

2. Observe your thoughts. Are your thoughts in alignement with your desires? Begin to notice how your mind works. Make adjustments accordingly.

3. Be the energy you wish to attract. Live in the energy of what you desire. Act as if you already have all that you so deeply wish for.

4. Let go of the attachment to the outcome, and enjoy the ride. The present moment is where the magic truly happens. Release the attachment to specific outcomes, and see what unfolds when you are living freely in the now.

What are you wishing to attract in your life? Feel free to out your desires here in the comments, sending it out to the Universe! We will create manifesting magic together here!

xoxo, Michelle

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6 Common Habits That Are Holding You Back

If you are reading this blog and frequent our site, chances are you want to live your very best life. Congratulations! Acknowledging and recognizing this is the your biggest first step in actually doing so. While we all know that healthy and positive habits help us to create the life we desire, there are some habits I have been noticing in myself that creep in and hold me back in living my best life.

As always, I love sharing with you what I notice in my life, in hopes of helping you with whatever might be going on in yours. Remember life is a journey and a process, it’s never perfect. So long as we are present and aware we can find the happiness and inner peace that we truly desire. Here are six common habits that may be holding you back:

1. Comparing yourself to others. We live in a very competitive world, that pushes us into the mindset that we must always compare ourselves with others. This is such a waste of time! Every single person on this earth has a different path, a different purpose, and a different journey. Own where you are and honor where everyone else is, but don’t ever think you’re less than (or better than) someone. Really just stop.

2. Dwelling on the past. Our minds love to ruminate on things that happened in the past. This is another practice that really is a waste of our precious time. Sure there is always something we could have done better or said differently, but in reality, the past no longer exists. Take the lessons and strive to live in the present moment.

3. Obsessing over the little things. Life is not perfect. Sometimes we can get so caught up in little annoyances and judgments that we forget the big picture of life, and we get stuck. We cannot control anything in the outer world. Remember to breathe, be curious, and allow life to unfold.

4. Going against your intuition. We are so lucky as human beings to have a sense of intuition. It’s an inner guidance system that tells us how we feel, what we want, where to go, and what to do ― if we listen to it. So many times we go against our better judgment, which leads us to places, people, and things that are not in our best interest. Start listening to and following the voice inside you that always has your highest good at heart.

5. Staying stuck in indifference. Sometimes we get into a mode of cruising through life, as if we’re on autopilot. Life is meant to be passionately lived. Have you discovered what your passions are? Cultivate a sense of curiosity and joy in your life.

6. Low-balling your life. You have a specific purpose here on this earth. The world would not be the same without you. Take a moment to contemplate that. What message are you here to share? What are you here to do? So many of us have a deep-seated belief that our lives are not important, and so we set low goals. Dream big! Fulfill your purpose, and make your mark. The world needs you!

I hope naming these habits that are holding you back can help you become more aware, so that you can choose differently. What are some of your self-sabotaging habits you would like to share with us here! Let me know in the comments below!

xoxo,

Michelle

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We Are All Leaders

If you follow me on social media, you might have noticed that I’ve spent the past week on the other side of the world in New Zealand! As many of you know, I do a lot of traveling, but this adventure was very special because it had a meaningful purpose and intent. I had the great privilege of attending and participating in a leadership summit for the students of Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School from Parkland, Florida.

After the tragedy that took place on February 14, 2018, the University of Canterbury Student Volunteer Army invited students from Marjory Stoneman Douglas to join them for a student leadership summit in the hopes of sharing stories, creating movements, and cultivating leadership skills.

For an entire week, I was perpetually blown away by the grace, eloquence, poise, and passion that these students possessed. Every single student, of the 28 who traveled around the world to participate, was engaged and committed to being the change that they wish to see in the world. Synchronistically, their school’s motto is that exact Gandhi quote, “Be the change you wish to see.”

It’s true that young people tend to get a bad rap these days. Older generations peg them as unengaged, self-absorbed, and lazy. These labels couldn’t be farther from the truth of reality. If the future of our world is held in the hands of our youth, we will be in capable and thoughtful hands.

One of the biggest takeaways I had personally from this trip is the truth in remembering just how powerful we are. We all have the ability to leave a dent, move the needle, and be the change wish wish to see in this world. It’s absolutely possible for all of us.

We can do our parts to impact the world in the ways that truly feel meaningful to us. We don’t have to have large social media platforms, be on the news, or wait for the spotlight to be that change. We just need to have the passion and the drive to take action, even when it feels hard, scary, or not enough.

If you want to make an impact, but aren’t quite sure where to begin, I’ve put together a little to-do list to help you on your way:

1. Check in with your heart and discover who you are, and what really matters to you.

2. Identify (be specific) what changes you wish would materialize in this world.

3. Commit your voice, power, and energy to moving the needle on whatever cause or issue you feel called to.

4. Create a plan with small, tangible actions that will help you to be involved.

5. Remember that we all don’t have to “save the world” by ourselves. It’s a team effort. Whenever you feel the pressure that you have to do and be it all, give yourself a break. Keep taking those small actions, and know that what you’re doing is meaningful and enough. You are never alone.

What causes and issues are you passionate about? In what areas of your life do you think you would like to step up and be a leader?

I’d love to keep this conversation going in the comments below, let me know!

xo,

Michelle

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Michelle’s 5 Reminders for Loving Your Life

Life can be difficult, then amazing, and then difficult again. We’ve all experienced the highs and lows that life presents to us, and we know that it’s normal to feel these wide-ranging emotions. Sometimes though, it can be incredibly challenging to make our way through the difficult moments and to see the light at the end of the tunnel when things are hard.

I have made it my intention lately to try to just be the witness of life. For me this means not judging what’s happening as either good nor bad, rather to simply allow, accept, and most importantly, learn.

Keeping a positive perspective on life, especially when we are feeling frustrated, sad, defeated, lost, or confused can help us remember that everything in life passes, and that this feeling, this moment, this situation is not permanent. It is simply a chapter in the book of our lives.

When we have this perspective we can remember that the life that we are living right now is our unique, special journey. There’s no one else in the world like you, with your path, and your life circumstances. There’s no one else who has your purpose, place, passions, and life dreams. So when life feels challenging and difficult, remember to find this perspective and use these five simple affirmations to bring you back to a place of peace and understanding.

1. I trust the timing of my life.

2. I am enough, I am whole, I am complete.

3. I am worthy of my deepest desires.

4. I am strong and capable.

5. I love my life, and my life loves me.

These five affirmations have been helping me so much in working through my own difficulties, and I truly hope they help you too!

What are some affirmations you use to remind you to love your life, regardless of what’s happening externally? I’d love to hear. Let me know in the comments!

xo,

Michelle

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Reconsidering the Rules of Life

A few years ago I signed up for a yoga class with Tara Stiles. At the time, I had known very little about her or her yoga classes, but there was something about her vibrant energy and easy-going vibe that had me super curious and drew me in.

Her class was unlike any other yoga class I had taken at the time. She encouraged us to feel into our bodies, move with ease. and release the need to follow rigid rules for the sake of practicing “authentic yoga”. I felt such a connection to this yoga practice and to Tara’s methodology, and I almost felt relieved that I could finally release the need to live up to someone else’s expectations, yogically speaking.  I vividly remember feeling so excited to rush out and buy one of her shirts with the words “who made the rules” printed across it. It felt liberating and empowering.

Years later, I still have the shirt!  I keep it, to ask myself, this simple, and important question,” Who made the rules?” What rules do we follow, and why?

It’s easy for us to fall into the regular nuances of daily living. We create habits and routines. We get comfortable. We blend in, we follow suit. We don’t question things.

When it comes to life’s rules, I think we all pick and choose which to follow, and for a multitude of reasons. But have you ever really stopped to ask yourself why?

Of course some rules we follow are based on societal and governmental norms, and others are more personal and unique, but I have found, that every once in a while, it’s important to check in with ourselves, collect data on ourselves, so to speak, and ask, “Who made the rules that I am following?

What are the rules that we are living under in our lives, and who set these rules into play?

Pictured left to right: Michelle Maros, Tara Stiles, and Daisy Stiles

Why do we choose to follow these rules?

How are these rules effecting our lives? Do they cause us to fall into societal ruts that don’t necessarily apply us?

Do we follow rules based on our own family’s lineages and backgrounds?

Do we follow the rules of behavior based on socio-economic status, race or gender? How about religion, education, or career?

Perhaps you have rigid rules about food or diet and exercise. What rules do you follow when it comes to relationships? What rules have you innately and instinctively created for yourself?

This kind of introspection and questioning provides so much insight for how we can begin to live our lives, on our own terms. We can find clarity, peace, freedom and empowerment when we take time to reconsider the rules in which we live.

Find some quiet time and truly think of the rules that you are living under. Become aware of what is guiding your life.

Think about society’s rules, ask yourself why they are in place?  Begin to understand how they play out in your life.
Think about your family’s rules. Go into how it’s shaped who you are and how you behave.
Think about your religious or spiritual rules. Do these rules go hand in hand with your beliefs?
Think about your career rules. Do you have to fall in line to maintain status or title?
Think about your relationship rules. Do you need to be a certain way in relationships to feel loved and worthy in life?
Think about your self-imposed rules. Do you have to act a certain way, eat a certain way, dress a certain way? If yes, ask yourself why?

As you can see, the rules that we live under are infinite. They expand into every single area of our lives, so it’s important to become intimate with them.

Of course, sometimes rules are important and beneficial to keeping order and safety in the world.

Other times, they put us into boxes and block us from living the lives we truly desire and are meant to be living.

I have spent time recently answering all of these questions for myself, and I can tell you it has been incredibly empowering. I encourage you to be curious, and get intimate, with what rules “run your life” and why?

Do they resonate with who you really are?  Release the rules that no longer fit, or serve you in the greatest way, and create new ones that are aligned with your highest ideals.

They say that rules are meant to be broken, but I say it this way, that rules are meant to be questioned.

What rules are you living under that no longer serve you? What rules help you live your best life? What rules need adjusting? I would love to hear from you, let me know in the comments below!

xo,

Michelle

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The Power of Mindful Listening

Over the past couple weeks, I have been involved in a handful of conversational altercations, some that were shallow and mildly unpleasant, some that really made me go inward to sort out resolution. While the topic of conversation isn’t pertinent to the message I hope to share with you this week, I have noticed that in all of these difficult moments, there was a common thread, a common issue, that led to the perpetuation of the conflict.

In all of these circumstances, I was quick to respond, to react, to jab back, without really taking a pause to listen, digest, contemplate, and communicate in a mindful and meaningful manner. This, of course, led to things being said that maybe weren’t the kindest, or the most thoughtful, or that didn’t even really articulate my feelings at all.

Usually in these moments we are so quick to respond because something triggers us inside and makes us feel that we won’t get our chance to speak our side or have the opportunity to be heard.

And so, these knee-jerk reactions and responses lead to moments of difficulty and suffering, because we are reacting, and not listening.

Skillful conversations with loved ones and strangers alike require practice, patience, and poise.

Take a moment to think about a circumstance in your life, where you have you been in communication with someone, and even though you seem to be present, all you can hear is your mind chomping at the bit to get your own next word in, leading you to not fully get the other person’s message.

Or, more common in this era, have you read something on the internet and instinctually commented back so quickly without giving pause to how you would really like to respond? Possibly inflating a situation that really didn’t need to be inflammed?

Tensions are high these days, we all can feel it can’t we? Our inability to converse gracefully with presence and purpose is only adding to the friction.

In my heart of hearts, I feel that one of the biggest instigators of anger, distress, frustration and even depression is because people don’t feel like they are truly heard. And subsequently, we engage in so many dysfunctional communications because we are not creating that space for people to feel heard. We simply aren’t listening.

It’s time that we create the space to listen to others and even to ourselves. Listening provides us with so much data and information so that we can live our lives in love, peace, power, and understanding.

I’d love for you to join me in committing to listen, before acting, and noticing whatever shifts come your way as a result.

When we listen, we create space, we take pause, and we can find a sense of clarity and peace in the moment that allows us to really know the proper next step, word, or action.

When we listen, we make ourselves available to other people’s truths.

When we listen, we open ourselves up to learn about other people’s experiences and perspectives.

When we listen, we learn and grow.

When we listen, we are more apt for understanding and compassion rather than indifference and exclusion.

When we listen, we hear the whisperings of what the soul is trying to tell us.

When we listen, we set a standard so that in turn we will also be listened to.

I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences on mindfully listening. Let’s practice listening to one another in the comments!

xo,

Michelle

 

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Living With Integrity

In every moment of every day we are making choices. We are choosing things. We choose our thoughts and our actions. Sometimes consciously, sometimes unconsciously. We choose where we go and what we do. We choose who we spend our time with and how we spend our time. We decide, then act, we notice how this feels, and the process repeats itself over and over again.

The hundreds of tiny choices that we make in every day influence every aspect of our lives, they mold us, shape us, and carve out our life’s path. If you think about it, that fact that we have the option of choice gives us, as human beings, an immense amount of power and influence in the course of our lives. Choice is where we find empowerment and direction in a world that can often times feel overwhelming and confusing.

What happens, though, when we feel like we don’t make good choices? Or we find that we are incapable of choosing correctly? Or what if we fall into patterns of continuously making choices that make us feel mad or sad or anxious? How can we take back our power when it feels like we’ve lost our innate ability of conscious choice? What does it mean when we choose against the alignment of our own soul? And suffer greatly because of it?

In short, it means that we are living out of integrity.

Not too long ago I considered myself a bad decision maker. I felt that I just couldn’t make choices no matter what the circumstance, and whenever I did actually make decisions, they felt forced, uncomfortable and usually brought me to situations that didn’t make me feel good. I relied on external cues and societal pressures to decide who I was and what I wanted, rather than turning inwards, and so, I was consistently unhappy. For that long period of time I thought that this was just a personality defect, this was how I would always live my life, there was just something wrong with my ability to discern, decide, and consciously choose.

Of course, now I know that it’s simply not true. I was just so far out of touch with myself and my desires that choices and decisions were actually impossible. I wasn’t living with integrity. How could I? I didn’t even know what I cared about and how to honor that.

Now that many years have passed and I’ve done extensive soul searching work, I find that I’ve unearthed a solid sense of self, that I can rely on to know how to decide. There’s a knowingness of who I am and what I want, and the impact that I wish to have on the world.

There’s an alignment with my soul that allows me to choose with ease and find comfort in knowing that I am honoring that alignment.

This is how I life with integrity now.

The knowledge of who I am in addition to what I want and what I value gives me clues on how to make decisions that support my life’s mission. And it all feels good. And when I’ve somehow misstepped, I feel it. I know it. And I course correct.

Living with integrity is the honoring of your soul’s deepest desires, and making choices that are in alignment with it.

It’s a re-prioritization of your life. It’s taking back your power of choice to bring you back to a place of calm, peace, and ease. Living with integrity is a constant state of connection with self and aligned action so that we can fully live out our soul’s purpose. And we can all live this way, when we choose to do so.

I know how hard it can feel when we are out of integrity, or are lost and confused. If you’re looking to find your way back to an empowered and confident state of choice and ease, I’m here to help! Below are three simple ways to return to a place of integrity.

Find out who you are and what you value. Get into a space of deep knowing of self. Ask yourself the important questions and be honest with you. One of my biggest realizations of self has been grasping that I deeply value feeling good in my body. So I’ve taken inventory of what does and doesn’t feel good, and I make conscious choices to be in alignment with what is good for me. That’s one simple example in my life that keeps me in alignment. Find out what comes up for you and own that knowledge of yourself.
Take conscious actions. Often times we can have all the information about ourselves that we need, and continuously choose the opposite, going against our desires and our values. It’s one of the most effective forms of self-sabotage, and it leads us feeling low and defeated. Remember your power of choice and know that if there’s something in your life that isn’t sitting well, you have the ability to change it. Align your actions with your deepest desires.
Surround yourself with people who can lovingly hold you accountable. I rely on the coaches, mentors, and loved ones in my life to snap me back to reality when perhaps I’ve been choosing wrongly. Like I said at the beginning of the blog, sometimes our decisions can be so unconscious and habitual that we don’t even recognize what we’ve created until we’re far down the rabbit hole. That’s when a loving support system is crucial to remind us of what we already know and lovingly nudge us back to that empowered place of integrity and choice. Find and choose that support system that will help you in the moments of need, and subsequently, be that support for the people in your life.

I would love to hear how you all choose to live with integrity in your lives. Let’s keep the conversation going in the comments!

xo,

Michelle

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