Barbara Schmidt's Blog, page 30

5 Reminders for Living With Ease in the Present Moment

In the six years of writing a weekly blog here, I’ve often referenced the importance of living life in the present moment. While I certainly would love to delve into all the benefits that living in the present has for us, this week’s blog has a twist. I’d like to share a curious complication that arises when we actually choose to be present.

What happens when the present moment is uncomfortable? Or difficult? Or painful? Or tragic? What happens when we are stuck in situations that make us feel like we don’t have choices? How can we continue our practice of positive present moment living when the present moment is full of difficulty or discomfort?

I think facing this life issue head on is the true work and the real practice of coming to live with ease and acceptance. The truth is life is difficult, disappointing, and upsetting sometimes. It’s crucial to learn how to manage these moments and equip ourselves with the tools to carry us through.

The past few weeks I have felt that living in the present moment has been challenging. There’s been a lot happening in the world and in my own life that has made me feel powerless and sad. Remember, we can’t always control what happens in the external world, but we can always influence our reactions to it.

And so, rather than shying away from what actually is happening, I remembered my dedication to owning whatever is showing up in my life and the world around me, honor it, and take whatever aligned actions from there to work towards my highest ideals and goals. And this is what I wish to pass along to you this week!

My gentle reminders for maneuvering through difficulty in the present moment, whatever these moments bring to you day in and day out.

1. Remember that you’re doing the best you can. If you’re facing difficulty and struggle, don’t double down on yourself thinking that you’re doing something wrong. Rather, remember that in any given moment, we’re all just doing the best we can with what we’ve been given. Be kind and gentle with yourself if you’re going through harder times.

2. Remember that there is always a silver lining. Difficult moments, though obviously challenging and unpleasant often have life changing lessons or eye-opening break throughs. Rather than continuously focusing on the difficulty, try to find that glimmer of hope and opportunity that can arise out of the discomfort.

3. Remember that this too, shall pass. It can be easy to assume that when life is presently hard, it will always be hard. It can be difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel. But it’s so important to remember that the light is always there. No bad times are permanent, and it’s up to us to change our mindsets to remember that situations change, people change, and we can choose how to move forward from challenges.

4. Remember that this moment will never be repeated. I’ve gone through difficult circumstances in the past where I’ve looked back and regretted my escapism or the ways that I wasn’t present. No matter what has happened or is happening, remember that each moment is fleeting, each circumstance is unique, each period of time in our lives has a certain purpose for our own unique life paths. In being present to each moment and phase and honoring it for what it is, we take in the lessons, power, and importance of the teachable moments in our lives.

5. Remember to focus on what’s going right. When things are going wrong, it’s so easy to tune into all of things that aren’t going our way. Which leads to our discomfort increasing exponentially. When the present moment provides unpleasant moments, take a moment to redirect your mind to the things that are going well in your life. The victories. The small wins. The positives. The happiness. The little joys. Remind yourself of the good to get you through the bad.

I hope these little reminders help you to find some ease and peace when dealing with difficult moments that are presenting themselves, now. It’s also important to remember that no person is perfect, we are all learning and growing as we go along, and that’s life!

I would love to keep the conversation going in the comments below, let me know your thoughts!

xo,

Michelle

The post 5 Reminders for Living With Ease in the Present Moment appeared first on Peaceful Mind Peaceful Life.

It’s Okay to Take a Break

This week I had a moment that brought me to an unexpected halt. I had been working myself hard to achieve some of my goals, and I felt some pressure with some deadlines to maintain a high level of productivity. Inside of me, I felt strong feelings to push through my own resistance to keep up with these things that were expected of me, and I felt incredibly frustrated, unclear, and drained. I got caught up in a belief that I must always be going, doing, being, and creating, and that I must always be on my A-game.

As you might be able to guess, living at that high level of productivity isn’t quite sustainable and so, mentally, physically, and emotionally I was completely tapped. I was feeling out of my creative flow, mentally, blocked, and exhausted. Upon recognizing that I had reached my limits, I came back home to myself and immediately became aware that I needed a break. My brain was begging for a pause. My body. My soul too. I needed time to just breathe and take some healthy, conscious space.

Have you noticed that It can feel really uncomfortable for us to take breaks?

What will happen in that space of nothingness?

Will I let people down?

Will I fall behind? Will someone else surpass me? Will I be forgotten?

Will I lose my creative flow? Will I not start back up again?

These are some of the questions I thought to myself when resisting taking a break. And the answer to all of them is a simple and meaningful no.

Taking breaks, creating spaces, taking pauses in life are a crucial, critical part of our self-care and self-preservation practices. Taking a moment of pause before starting again is regeneration and renewal. Giving yourself the gift of time and space cultivates creativity. Personal time solidifies the strong foundation we have from within to shine as bright as we can.

Taking breaks doesn’t always come easy to us, so I want to gently and confidently remind you that it’s okay. Breaks are allowed, and often it is necessary to pause, take a break, and start again.

Breaks can come in many forms and circumstances, and if you’re feeling called to pause, I hope you honor it, and remember…

…it’s okay to take a break from your work

…it’s okay to take a break from a relationship

…it’s okay to take space from someone who you love

…it’s okay to take a break from your creative passions

…it’s okay to take a break during busy days

…it’s okay to take a break from your physical routine and diet

…it’s okay to take a break from your social calendar

…it’s okay to take a break and just be

This week, I commit to taking a break from stressing about my writing. If you feel called to share, what will you consciously take a break from this week?

Let’s keep the conversation going in the comments!

xo, Michelle

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5 Simple Ways to Add More Fun to Your Life

A few weeks ago, a friend called me in search of support. She was feeling rundown and overwhelmed by the sadness and tragedy that seemed to surround her (and all of us) lately. It felt so synchronistic that she would call me in that moment, because I, too, had been feeling the exact same way. Our conversation was so therapeutic, in that we were able to fully and freely express our emotions and thoughts, as well as come to a conclusion on how we could move through that overwhelm.

We are living in such an intense period of time, where it’s common (and likely) to feel overwhelmed, confused, and upset. These are natural reactions and responses to life when it feels unfair. The best way I know how to move through these feelings, and exactly what I talked about with my friend on that synchronistic phone call, was to remember that even in dark periods, it’s okay and important to have fun and still remember to find joy.

Remembering to have fun is the therapy for difficulty. Joy is medicine to the soul. It’s imperative, and it’s our responsibility to take the actions needed to bring these emotions back into our lives, especially when you’re feeling extra dark.

I’m guessing that some of you might be saying to yourselves, of course, you would love to feel happiness and joy in this moment, but it’s easier said than done. And you’re probably right. As a society, we’ve prioritized the daily grind, and idealized the struggle, and placed fun and lightheartedness at the bottom of the to-do pile, so surely, it will take some reorganizing of your thoughts and your priorities. But fear not, it can be done! And you will be so glad you made the shift to find that glimmer of joy, even when it feels hard.

I’ve mapped out five simple prompts to help you bring fun, happiness, and joy back into your lives, and I hope they serve you on your road back to laughter and fun.

Figure out what brings you joy . Do you know what it is in life that really makes you happy? That always brings a smile to your face? That makes you feel at ease and at peace in your body? That makes you feel truly present when with it? These are some questions you could ask yourself to begin an inventory of things, places, people, and ideas that make you happy. It could be as simple as spending time with your pet, or as meaningful as helping someone else in need. But ask yourself, what joy does your soul crave? Honor and listen to the answers.
Be open to new things. Once you’ve taken your inventory, you might be hearing whispers to try things that are completely “out of the box” to you. Maybe you’re yearning to try a dance class, but feel that you’re too uncoordinated to give it a shot. Maybe you’ve always wanted to take an international trip, but the long distances feel frightening. When I mentioned above the importance of listening to what your soul is craving, I meant it for this very purpose. It’s quite possible that your inner joy could stem from something completely new and different than what you’ve ever experienced before. And that might be a little scary. Find a soft openness to the cravings of your soul and bravely step forward into what is being called into your life. Sometimes these little cravings are the exact medicine we’ve been searching for.
Set boundaries on your stress . I’ve had many conversations with friends lately where it feels like their conversations about stress and unhappiness is on an endless loop. Have you ever noticed just how easy it is to go down a negativity spiral? It’s important to honor, recognize, and understand your feelings, even when they are difficult or complex, but it’s also equally as important to set boundaries with how long you will allow the feelings and emotions to take up space in your life. If you feel like venting about a problem or issue you’re having, please do so. But give yourself a limit. For example, I might be feeling frustration with a relationship, so I’ll give myself 20 minutes in the evening to vent all my thoughts and feelings, and then brainstorm positive solutions. When you set the structure of how long you will let yourself sit in the mud, you give yourself an opportunity to eventually rise up out of it.
Bring back your childlike wonder. Can you remember when you were a child, the feeling of freedom, ease, and pure joy? Do you remember feeling the weightlessness of no responsibilities, the wonder of possibilities, and the magic of the present moment? Many of us can’t or choose not to allow ourselves to go back to that mind space. But truthfully, why not? The innocence and wonder that we felt as children would completely lift our spirits as adults.
Surround yourself with uplifting people . Have you ever felt the relief that comes after having fun with a loved one or close friend? Having an emotional support system that you can rely on and spend time with when you feel low is a beautiful opportunity to usher in joy. Pinpoint those people in your lives who fill you with that effervescent joy. And if you don’t really have anyone who brings this out in you, look for online content that allows you to feel this way. I love watching funny videos on the internet and find that even though I’m not sharing the same space with that person physically, I receive the benefits mentally and emotionally.

I hope these simple prompts help you on your journey to fun, play, and joy! Though life feels like it is a long and arduous road, joy is what makes it entertaining and worthwhile. Let us all bring back these feelings of happiness and ease to lift our spirits and help us to enjoy the ride of life.

What will you do this week to bring fun into your life? Let me know in the comments below!

xo, Michelle

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My 30-Day Experiment with Change

If you follow me on social media, you might have noticed that for the past 30 days, my mom and I committed to changing up our healthy lifestyle in a major way. For the past few months, we both had moaned and groaned about feeling something was out of sorts with our health and wellness. For me, life had felt hectic, and the added stresses of moving apartments and major life changes led to a slippery slope of poor self-care.

I truly honor and value my connection to my physical body, and I always strive to make conscious, healthy choices when it comes to what I put in it, but lately I noticed that I was falling short on these values. I was unconnected, unconscious, and out of alignment with my body’s needs. I was starting to experience the physical tolls: tiredness, fatigue, bloating, and poor sleep.

Our Whole30 Journey: Day 5

One day, in listening to my body’s signals, I realized I must alter my habits. I felt ready to make a change and commit to something new in hopes of restoring balance and peace from within. I reprioritized my health, and I felt ready to commit. I was feeling optimistic, curious, and excited on how I could improve my self-care and wellness routines.

In the most synchronistic way, my mom and I came to each other at almost the exact moment, offering up our own unique thoughts about our health habits. We decided that together, we would embark on a reboot for our bodies, minds, and spirits… enter Whole30!

Whole30 is defined as a “short-term nutrition reset” designed by Melissa Hartwig. Essentially, in this reset you are committing to giving your body only whole, unprocessed, natural foods for 30 days. So what does that mean exactly? No dairy, no grains, no soy, no legumes, no sugar, and no alcohol, amongst other things. No cheat days, no slip ups, no personal adjustments for comforts or preferences. This is a rigid, rule-based program with the intention of restoring the body back to balance and health. And we committed to it!

Now, I am generally not someone who restricts her diet or even follows food rules in general. I’m usually a go with the flow, intuitively eat, do what feels good kind of gal. In the past when I had read and heard about the Whole30 from friends and colleagues, I never in a million years thought that I would be someone who would ultimately participate in and complete it.

The difference in this instance was that I could feel my body crave a different way of life. I could hear a voice inside me saying that this was something that I needed to do, and so when it came down to committing to these 30 days, it didn’t feel stressful or onerous, it just felt like I was moving into the next right thing for my life.

I followed the voice within me, you know that little “inkling” that we feel but often ignore. My mom and I successfully completed the Whole30 on May 31st. Thirty days of nothing but clean, whole foods. We learned so much from this experience, both in our own relationships with food and our bodies, but also, maybe more importantly,  the lesson in committing and following through with promises that we make to ourselves.

We experienced a wide range of emotions throughout the process. We felt the difficulties, and the uncomfortable feelings that come when you make a big change in habits and unhealthy instincts. We had highs and lows. We had some frustrations, but I have to say we mostly experienced a joyful curiosity for embarking on something new. We had healthy optimism in creating change and so much fun and creativity doing something like this together. This 30 day commitment to change our lives gave us so many moments of laughter.

I received many questions from many of you about my experience, so I write this blog in hopes of sharing my main take-aways and experiences from this month of reset!

Please know that I did not go into this challenge looking to lose weight or trying to alter my physical shape. I never condone food fads or trend diets. This certainly was not what this was for me or my mom. For both of us, it was following a calling to start again, become conscious, and find a deeper connection with food and ourselves.

On our Whole30 journey we…

…gained a greater appreciation for the taste and nutrient value of whole foods, in their purest form

…re-learned the importance and joy of preparing our own meals with love and healthy ingredients

…uncovered a greater knowledge of what exactly goes into the food and drinks that we digest on a daily basis

…tapped into a mind-body connection that stems from slowing down, listening, and being aware of how our bodies digest and respond to what we consume

…released emotional ties to particular foods and cravings

…felt empowered and in control of our relationship to food, rather than at the mercy of it

…allowed ourselves to have fun and be joyful in the journey

…laughed more than we thought could be humanly possible.

The benefits we experienced are:

more energy
clearer skin
more restful sleep
fewer cravings
a deeper feeling of satiation with foods
feeling lighter and more connected to our bodies
mental clarity
happiness!

I’m so grateful and proud of the commitment that we made in following our inner desires to reboot and start again. As much as this experience was to feel better physically, it was also a mental and emotional journey. Honoring our soul’s desire and following through on promises that we made was of course challenging at times, but so incredibly rewarding.

I share this journey with you not as an advertisement for Whole30 or even as encouragement for healthy living, but as a reminder to always listen to what your intuition and your soul is telling you. By tapping into your inner guidance and wisdom that we all have, you will come across the answers, solutions, and even healthy programs that you are waiting and looking for. The Whole30 was the answer that I needed for my health, and I will always be proud and deeply inspired that I followed my intuitive hit 33 days ago.

I would love to keep this conversation going in the comments! What commitments have you made and stuck with for yourself? Have you tried the Whole30? What is the voice within calling you to do for your self? Let me know!

xoxo,

Michelle

PS This blog does not intend to serve as medical guidance or advice. It is strictly based on my own personal experience in opening up to a new way of living and honoring my body and my health. You can learn more about Whole30 by visiting their website or reading their very informative book. Please consult your doctor or medical professional before making any changes to your health protocols!

 

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5 Misconceptions of Living a Conscious Life

There’s an interesting phenomena that happens when you hit a rock bottom of sorts, you open yourself up to new thinking, new experiences, and new ways of living a conscious life that can totally transform your life, if you let it.

In 2012, I took a dive into the self-help, empowerment, wellness world when in a particularly low period of my life. Everything that I relied on to be happy externally was falling away faster than I could recover and I was left feeling frustrated, confused, and needing help.

Upon entering this wellness, empowerment space, I felt like I finally landed in a place where I fit, where I could learn to be better, and where I could truly be myself. I very rapidly became a bit self-help obsessed, I was always wanting to learn more, and went to as many workshops and retreats as I possibly could, in hopes of becoming the best version of myself.

In the years since, I’ve experienced great relief from pain, eye opening personal breakthroughs, internal shifts, and truly feel at home now, but it’s within myself.  Just like with anything else in the world, I have also experienced the down side, the disappointment, and the frustrations. I went through a period not too long ago, where I felt like I was rebelling a bit against the community that I for so long called home. I again, felt frustrated, confused, and uncertain. Shouldn’t it all have been different by now, after all this time?

In my experience thus far, I’ve noticed that there are common misconceptions or falsehoods that are easily adopted as truth in this industry, and that sometimes, the work that we are doing to be “better” can make us feel even worse. I share these misconceptions that I have experienced so far on my journey, in hopes of shedding light, not creating conflict or attack. Life’s journey is not always an easy one to maneuver, and so, my wish for this week’s blog is to shed a bit of light on a path that I have come to know very well.

Misconception #1: Living a spiritually conscious life means that life gets easier.

When I started on my own path: I started meditating, doing yoga daily, and cleaned up my diet. I foolishly assumed back then, that by simply being conscious and aware of how I was living my life, I had finally found the key to unlock the door to a world of complete happiness, always. Frustration ensued, naturally, because life didn’t necessarily get easier, and I thought that meant there was something wrong with me (more on that in #2). The truth is, life doesn’t get easier or less traumatic, or less stressful, but the tools that we practice on a daily basis help us to navigate daily life, empower us, and give us a strong sense of confidence.

We never really know what life will throw at us in any given day, however, when we cultivate a strong foundation from within (which I believe can be achieved through daily practices like meditation, journaling, mindfulness, as well as therapy/counseling) we can weather storms with a sense of grace, ease, and even peace.

Misconception #2: If something isn’t working for you, something is wrong with you.

Have you ever had moments in your practice, where you feel like you are “doing everything right” and still feel like you’re not making the progress you would like to see? This was one of the most difficult misconceptions I had to grapple with, as I am a very visual and tangible person when it comes to wanting to see results. For a period of time I felt great frustration when I would compare my spiritual path to those around me. I felt like I couldn’t manifest like my friends, I felt like I wasn’t as “enlightened” as some, I even thought that there was something wrong with me because I couldn’t access psychic powers, and those of the like. We are presented with so much opportunity and examples of possibility in the self-help arena, and thus we often think that our experiences have to match those who are teaching us.

In reality, I believe that we all evolve and learn and grow in our own time, and in our own ways. There’s no blueprint for being spiritually conscious, and just like with everything else, it’s futile to compare our journey to someone else’s. It’s a huge relief to release the pressure that we have to fit in, produce, create, and achieve great success in our spiritual lives for it to have meaning at all. Whatever it is you are doing to be your best self, is valid and enough.

Misconception #3: To live a positive life, I must always have positive thoughts.

I’ve seen the meme “Positive Mind, Positive Vibes, Positive Life” enough to know that this is a mindset that’s running rampant in the empowerment community. In fact, I probably posted this sentiment on social media years ago. While I absolutely do believe that mindset, the thoughts we think every minute, and our ability to choose and skillfully maneuver through our thoughts will produce and create a life that is pleasing and meaningful to us, there is a caveat here that often gets overlooked. Yes, positivity and a positive mindset is helpful and beneficial, so long as it doesn’t keep us from doing the deep work of feeling our feelings, and working through old wounds and hurts that we deem “negative” and therefore bad.

I remember for a moment in time I didn’t want to think about the difficulties I was experiencing because they were “too negative” and I feared that moments spent dwelling on such a problem would only perpetuate it. Thus, spiritually bypassing (or overlooking an issue for the sake of positive) all together. As I mentioned in #1, even when we are living a mindful and conscious life, we will experience difficulty, and as emotional human beings, it’s crucial to allow ourselves to take the time to process what life is putting in our paths, or if applicable, what life put in our past. It does not serve anyone to ignore reality for the sake of creating your ideal future.

Remember that there is benefit to be in the mud sometimes, the mud teaches us lessons, gives us strength, and provides great knowledge for our lives. We must remember not to linger there. Don’t be afraid of difficulty or hardship, value and grow from it.

Misconception #4: It is always beneficial to take the advice of a teacher I admire.

Blindly following the advice of a teacher or a mentor can often times do more harm than good, at least from my own experiences. In the self-help world, there tends to be an inclination to place teachers and mentors (and sometimes gurus) up on a pedestal, in the belief that they always know better than we do as students. I have fallen into this relationship with some of my teachers, where I lost my own sense of discernment for the sake of pleasing someone else, or for fitting into the mold that was being cast. I have changed my diet because of a teacher, I have changed my social life because of a mentor, and I have changed my lifestyle to fit someone else’s ideals. While none of these purported changes were bad so to speak, they didn’t suit me. There’s a disempowerment that takes place when we blindly give up our power to a teacher, mentor, or guru. While the knowledge that they have and share is important, necessary, valuable, and meaningful, it’s equally as crucial for us as “the bosses of our own lives” to take in the information, live with it for a while, and then decide how we will implement it into our own lives.

Misconception #5: Offering love and light is enough to change the world.

Perhaps one of the more frustrating aspects of the empowerment industry is it’s often deafening silence when it comes to world events, social justice, or speaking out on things that matter to us. Too often, this industry teaches that when we solely focus on ourselves, better ourselves, the world will naturally change. And while I do believe this to be true, we must be ourselves what we wish to see in the world, it’s only a piece of the world peace pie.

Yes, we must do our own inner work to achieve inner peace, happiness, and well-being, and in doing so, we become fully capable and prepared to do the work that we came to this lifetime to do. This “doing our work” will look differently for everyone, but make no mistake we all matter, we are all needed to be fully living in our own purposes and passions, especially now.

If we do the inner work, just to keep it to ourselves, and not put ourselves out there, in whatever form feels best for you, to take action and make real change, we are doing the world a great disservice. We are all needed in this moment, at this period of time, to truly use our talents, voices, and power, to create the world we wish to see, and I believe this requires inner work, spoken truth, and outer action.

I hope what I have shared here, about these misconceptions I have learned on my life’s path will in some way help you on your journey, wherever you may be. This is not a comprehensive list, it is my beginning, and there may be much more that can be said on all of these topics, so I would love to keep this conversation going, by hearing your thoughts and experiences, so if you’re feeling moved share them in the comments below!

Wishing you all a beautiful week,

xoxo,

Michelle

 

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Remembering Our Shared Humanity

I recently had a session with my spiritual healer and mentor. I walked into his office, sat down, and gave him one of my looks (and if you know me, you know that the looks that I give say it all), and said, “What are we going to do about the state of the world?” Right before walking into my appointment, I had fallen into my subconscious pattern of checking the news to see what was happening for the day, and it was particularly bleak. But what day isn’t lately? It seems that on any given day we are subjected to the harsh realities of the tragedies all around us. Whether it’s gun violence, social and racial inequalities, environmental catastrophes, or threats of war, the world can feel scary, unpredictable, and unsafe.

I’ve particularly felt very upset about the racial divide, injustice, and bias that is seeing a resurgence in my country. I have never understood discrimination due to skin tone, religion, or physical appearance. It’s hard for me to understand how we can still be at a place where polarizing thoughts and uncompromising views lead to the dehumanization and demonizing of those who disagree or are different than us. This can’t continue.

I know just how easy it is to get sucked into the bad stuff that’s happening, to feel the pain and sadness of those who are suffering, to feel anger and rage when we feel like we have no power. But the truth of the matter is, perpetually feeling down about all the bad things won’t result in something good.

So when I was sitting on the couch with my healer, lamenting about the world, he simply looked at me and said “Do you really think stewing in the negativity of it, without any positive action is helping you or the world?” He was right (ugh, he’s always right).

So my action, for today, is speaking out about my feelings, being aware of how I might be unconsciously contributing to the problem, noticing how I can be part of the solution, and to remember my humanity, and I humbly encourage you all, this beautiful community of loving leaders, to do the same.

At the end of the day, we are all human beings, doing the best with can, with the lives we’ve been given. It’s as simple and as complicated as that, and keeping this in mind, if we can take time to remember and to act, I believe and hope that we can create ripples of love throughout the world.

Remember to take care of yourself, honor your energy, and be loving and kind to yourself.
Remember that you are powerful. Your thoughts, words, beliefs, and actions are always in constant creation.
Remember that you are resilient and that just because some days have been difficult, doesn’t mean that life has to be hard.
Remember your truth, get aligned with what is true and real for you and don’t allow anything in the external world to sway you from it.
Remember that compassion is never wasted, and always appreciated. It’s easy to demonize and dehumanize others when we make people wrong, cultivate compassion and kindness instead.
Remember to take responsibility. Ask yourself if you are perpetuating any of the problems that you wish to solve (even if it’s subconsciously or unintended). It’s up to us to change the course of the world, if you hear someone speaking harmful and hurtful things speak up, if you see someone targeting someone else for their race, religion, or appearance, be brave and take a stand, if you have a cause that you feel isn’t being served, see how you can lend a hand.
Remember you are not alone. Whether we like it or not, we are truly all in this together, and while it might feel like it’s hard to fit in or find your place, belonging stems first from inside yourself and then beams out to the world to attract those who you are meant to be with. And, just so you know you will always belong here with us in this community.

I do believe that the small ripples of love, positivity, and compassion cultivated in this community has the power to make great positive change, and I’m so honored and privileged to be apart of it. Thank you all for being here and for constantly showing up and being open and willing to do the work that we all need to do to live in the world that we would like to be in.

Wishing you all a beautiful week filled with love, happiness, and peace,

xoxo, Michelle

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Releasing Distractions and Finding Focus

Happy Sunday my friends! And a very Happy Mothers’ Day to all who are celebrating!

This week, I admittedly am being a bit selfish, and writing about a topic that I could truly stand to benefit from. Lately I have been feeling very distracted and finding it hard to center my focus. Feeling this way has been really frustrating for me, simple tasks are a bit challenging, my brain feels foggy, and my productivity levels are subpar. I’m pretty sure I’m not alone in feeling easily distracted and thus, lacking focus, right?

The truth is, it’s never been easier to be distracted. With smart phones, tablets, social media, and my favorite distraction technique, Netflix, our minds and our attention are constantly being pulled in many different directions. We allow “being distracted” to continue every single day.

Have you ever had a conversation with someone you value deeply, yet your mind is worried about an email that you sent and you’re anxious for a response? Have you ever sat down to tackle some admin work at home, but first clicked on the TV to catch up on the days news, only to be sucked into a marathon of your favorite sitcom? Have you ever been behind the wheel of your car, and heard a ding from your phone, tempting you to check your notifications, and then maybe sneak a peak at your social media? You know, since you’re already there? I’ll admit that I’ve fallen for each of these distractions at times, and when I finally coming back to the current task in the moment, I truly notice and have felt my mind and energy more scattered and less present.

As someone who creates and produces content on a weekly basis, I can definitely see a difference when I’ve allowed distractions to come into my work and my creative space versus feeling focused and clear minded. The disparity in scenarios couldn’t be more opposite, and even though I know that distraction isn’t helping me one bit, I find myself falling into the trap from time to time.

It might feel challenging, but I believe it’s up to us to take responsibility for where we place our attention and how we expend our energy. The distractions will always be there, but we have the power of choice. Focus and attention is a choice. Do we choose to subconsciously place our energy on the things that distract us? Or do we value and protect our presence and energy for what really matters and is meaningful? Luckily we can decide and take back our power with simple awareness and intention. If you’re finding that you’re easily distracted and struggling to focus, it is my intention this week to give you (and to remind myself) the tools and resources to take your power back, and give you more energy..

Take an energy inventory. Where do you place you energy throughout the day? Are there any black holes or situations that are a major drain? Notice how situations make you feel and begin to be picky with how you spend your time.
Set boundaries. If you notice that your first instinct is to reach for your phone to check what’s happening online, perhaps it could be useful to set some technology rules. I remember at a particularly heavy social media time in my life, I gave myself limits of how many times I could check my apps, which helped me give my internet time purpose, and broke my “automatic pilot” when it comes to my phone.
Practice being one-pointed. If you pride yourself in being a master multi-tasker, you’re not going to like this tidbit of advice. While we have been taught to believe that doing multiple tasks at a time is a good and proactive skill, it’s actually quite the opposite. When we aren’t present to one task, our energy gets scattered leaving us feeling confused and unproductive. Set an intention to do one thing at a time and watch how it makes you and those around you feel when you’re truly being intentional with your presence.
Set aside moments in your day to regroup and reset. I like to think of my meditation and mindfulness practices as my mental charging outlets. Just like we charge our phones when the battery is drained, taking time to be still and quiet can recharge and center your energy. If you’re feeling mentally scattered and are having a hard time shaking it, take a minute to close your eyes and breathe. By sitting and noticing your thoughts without any distractions we are able to find clarity and peace of mind.

I hope these shifts help you to release distractions and find the focus we all crave!

I’d love to hear your techniques for coming back to the present, so let’s keep the conversation going in the comment section below!

xo,

Michelle

The post Releasing Distractions and Finding Focus appeared first on Peaceful Mind Peaceful Life.

4 Mind Games to Stop Playing for More Energy and Confidence

I recently went through a phase where I mentally and physically felt drained, which, sure that can be normal sometimes, but in this instance, I also saw that my self-confidence and sense of clarity was shot too. I felt like I wasn’t able to tackle some of my creative projects, my attitude towards my work was lackluster, and I wasn’t feeling very motivated.

As much as I tried to fight through these feelings and clear out the external blocks that could lead me to be feeling this way, I couldn’t quite seem to shake my symptoms. The cycle kept continuing, and I kept feeling worse and worse. What was wrong with me? I couldn’t quite get to the bottom of it.

As time went on, I recognized that the solutions to my problems weren’t external. They were coming from within. I was wreaking havoc on my own life because I had allowed my thoughts to run away from me. I started to take note of my inner dialogue, and where my mind was going throughout the day, and I immediately found the root of my issues. I was playing vicious mind games that were keeping me stuck, confused, drained, and frustrated.

It all began to make so much sense to me. I was living in a perpetual, self-sabotaging cycle of thinking, and as we all know, once our minds get on a particular track, it can feel very difficult to change its course without awareness, presence, and positive reinforcement. Our thoughts are so incredibly powerful. What we think manifests, especially when it comes to the thoughts we are thinking about ourselves, our capabilities, and our worthiness.

Looking back on this period now, of course I would be feeling this way. I was betting against myself, setting myself up for disappointment and failure, and relying on false self-thoughts to keep that cycle going. Can any of you relate?

When I began to take inventory of what exactly I was thinking, I noticed four common patterns that kept running through my mind, that of course, would lead me to the feelings that I couldn’t shake. These patterns are mind games that, when go unnoticed, can wreak that same havoc on our lives, and make us feel really crummy. It’s always my desire to share with you what I pick up in my own life, and so, these are the four mind games I noticed running on auto-pilot in my own life, and how to notice them, release them, and regain your sense of mental clarity, focus, and energy overall.

1. Perfectionism. How many of you can relate to that feeling, where you have something you’d like to do, or be, or achieve, but feel like you can’t because you’re not good enough, capable enough, or worthy enough?  Living in the mindset that we’ll “do it all” when we’re finally “perfect” keeps us in a state of limbo, and lets us off the hook of going after our dreams.

Perfectionism simply isn’t real. Notice when your mind starts to go to that “I’ll do it when I’m…” place, and remind yourself that you are capable of doing it now. Life is meant to be lived in the present, and perfectionism would have us live in a false future. Release the need to be, feel, and look perfect. Find a solid sense of acceptance of life in the now, as well as motivation to create all that you desire for the future.

2. Self-Doubt.  I’ve grappled with self-doubt for a lot of my adult life, and I can safely tell you that falling into this mind trap gets you nowhere. Self-doubt makes you believe that everyone else is capable of living their dreams, but you. Self-doubt reminds you of all your perceived short comings, missteps, and mistakes. It makes you believe that because of all that, you can’t be, achieve, and acquire what you desire. When dealing with self-doubt it’s crucial to remind yourself that, again, it’s not real, and that you are an incredibly powerful, purposeful, and worthy human.

3. What Ifs.  The what-if game is a big one, especially when going after goals and dreams, or having a large desire in life. The what if’s come to tell all the scary stories of the possibilities that could happen by putting ourselves out there in a major way. What if I’m not well-received? What if people make fun of me? What if I lose my job? What if?

While it can be important to weigh outcomes in order to make major life decisions, falling into the what-if game only takes you down a rabbit hole of stories that your mind is making up to keep you from taking a risk. My favorite way to combat the what ifs, is to remember all of the positive what-if satires that could also come into form. What if it all works out beautifully? What if I achieve all that I desire? What if the perfect people come into my life at the perfect time? When you remember to play it in this way, you’ll likely win your own what-if game!

4. Comparison.  One of the truest quotes that I have ever heard is from Theodore Roosevelt who said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” Comparing ourselves to other people is the silliest waste of mental energy we can engage in. Think about it. Remember when I told you that we all live incredibly unique lives with unique circumstances, people, and purposes? If you were to believe me in this being true, you would see that there is not productive purpose in comparing your unique life path with someone else’s.

Comparing thoughts are just another way our mind likes to make us feel that we aren’t enough, and as we know by now, we are! Honor others for their strengths just as you honor your own, and remember there is room for all of us to shine in this world. We don’t have to exert energy, competing, and comparing, but rather using it to create!

I hope shedding a light on some of these common mind games helps you to recognize where they might be coming into play (pun intended) in your own lives. Remember, we can’t escape or quiet our thoughts, but we can strive to consciously choose them, and that is where we begin to take back our power, reclaim our energy, and find that feeling of peace from within that we all so deeply crave.

I would love to hear your thoughts on this! Let’s keep the conversation going in the comments below!

xo,

Michelle

The post 4 Mind Games to Stop Playing for More Energy and Confidence appeared first on Peaceful Mind Peaceful Life.

5 Gentle Reminders for When You’re Feeling Stuck

Have you ever had one of those moments where you just feel stuck? Do you ever feel like life isn’t progressing, and things aren’t happening? During times like this, you may feel incredibly frustrated, overwhelmed, and a little bit sad. If you haven’t, congratulations, and please share your life secrets with the rest of us! If you have (like I have), you probably can relate to the sinking, heavy feeling that “stuckness” brings to our lives.

Feeling stuck can bring up a lot for us. It can make us feel like we’re not doing enough, not good enough, and worst of all, not worthy enough of living a happy and fulfilled life. As we know, it’s important to work through the feelings that arise when we are in these uncomfortable moments because it’s in those moments that we learn and grow so much. In all the times that I’ve felt stuck and incredibly frustrated, I have also found beautiful blessings.

There are times where I have allowed my “stuckness” to be my time for stillness, and there have been times when being stuck was my protection from moving forward with something not right for me.

Just like with everything else, I believe periods of feeling stuck have purpose in our lives, if we allow them to. Now, when I find myself feeling restless and frustrating with the pace of life, I take a moment to ponder the five reminders below. One, if not all of them, almost always helps me to come back to a place of calm, peace, patience, and trust.

1. Remember, being stuck does not equate to failure.

It’s really easy to get down on ourselves when we don’t perform or achieve as fast as we think we should. In reality, life doesn’t turn over as fast as we would like for it to. This certainly does not mean that we have failed or are incapable of achieving what we’d like to in life. All we have to do is move through the pause, and remember what it is that we truly desire to create in life.

2. Remember, life doesn’t always have to be in the timing and the speed that we think it should be.

Often times I think I’m “stuck” when really I’m just in a slower paced period in my life. Things don’t have to happen over night, and life doesn’t always unfold in the timeline that we think it should. This doesn’t mean that we are stuck or lost, it means that we are living life at our own appropriate and aligned pace. One of my favorite affirmations is “trust the timing of your life”, and so if you’re feeling down about the speed or pace of your life, ease back into trusting that you are right on track.

3. Remember, there is a difference in being purposefully still and unconsciously stagnant.

There is a time and a place for stillness, introspection, inspiration, and rest. We need these times to recharge, to reflect and to recalibrate. Sometimes, it can be easy for us to go from this purposeful rest to unconscious inaction. Often times when we are feeling stuck, it’s a sign that there’s an action we could be taking (or that our soul is begging us to take), but for some reason we just aren’t. Usually it’s because we are afraid. And that’s okay. It’s okay to feel fearful, but it’s important to recognize that this fear is what is bringing you this feeling of “stuckness.” If this resonates with you, ask yourself what small, gentle action you can take to move yourself forward.

4. Remember, if you keep showing up for life, life will keep showing up for you.

This is a good ole reminder to persevere! Don’t let whatever “stuckness” you might be feeling keep you from pushing forward and continuing to make the effort to meet life halfway. I like to think of life as a team effort. I do the work and put in the time, and life helps and guides me to the right places at the right time. Teamwork makes the dream work!

5. Remember, that often times magic happens just after moments of difficulty.

It’s like the calm before the storm. Often times we can feel like nothing’s happening, that our efforts aren’t working, and that it’s all not going to come to form, but usually, it’s that lull that precedes the magic and the desired outcome. Hold faith in these moments of pause, and find peace in the stillness that will lead you to the things you desire.

I sincerely hope these reminders help you out of your sticky moments. I know how difficult it can feel to be there, and so here’s to moving through it with grace, patience and ease! I’d love to hear your thoughts and comments on the topic, so let’s keep the conversation going in the comments below!

xo,

Michelle

 

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Moving Through Change

If you follow me on social media, you might have noticed that I am currently going through some foundational changes in my life. A few months ago, I was notified by my landlord that, upon the end of my lease, I would have to move out due to building renovations. When I read that notice I immediately froze in shock. I have to move? What if I don’t want to move? I love my home. How can I resist this?

Those were some of the thoughts that immediately came to mind. I am a creature of habit and I am most definitely a homebody. I have only moved homes twice in my adult life because for me, once I settle into somewhere, I get very comfortable and usually don’t want to leave. So naturally when I was faced with the idea of “forced” changed, I felt very uneasy and had some very small freak-outs.

I think we all are creatures of habit in some varying degree, and so, change can feel very difficult for us. Emotions run heavy when we are forced to leave what’s comfortable and familiar for the new and unknown. What’s been interesting for me in this life experience is my relying on the fact that life is filled with change. Simply, things never stay the same, so it’s crucial to open up our thinking process, and change our mindsets on how we view life changes.

Though it’s been an ebb and flow of high’s and low’s since learning of my move, the second I consciously decided to switch my thinking about change (ie: going from feeling like this was an unfair tragedy to a curious and opportunistic possibility) everything shifted. My viewpoint on said change allowed me to feel like I was more in control of life’s circumstances, rather than playing victim to it.

This has made all the difference for me.

The truth is, change can feel scary and leave us uncertain of what is to come, but it can also:

―Open up the doors to new possibilities that we didn’t know were available to us

―Teach us how to view life through a new lens

―Provide life experiences and knowledge that will aid us in the next level of life

―Release circumstances that are no longer serving us

―Help us grow and adapt to a constantly changing world

―Allow us to become more comfortable with change in general

―Teach us to rely on the one constant: the solid foundation that we have created within ourselves

Even though right now I am truly in the thick of experiencing this life change, I am embracing it and no longer afraid of it. The curiosity and optimism that I feel for what’s around the next corner, allows me to feel certain that these life changes are unfolding for me in a purposeful and meaningful way.

And this can be true for you too! Life changes, though emotional, don’t have to feel scary and dreadful. It’s simply how we view them and process them. Whatever life changes you might be experiencing right now, take heart in trusting that it’s the right thing for you for the next chapter of your life.

I hope my current “moving experience” will  help you to reframe how you may view change and begin to embrace it rather than shy away from it. I’d love to hear how you manage and move through changes that you’ve experienced in your own life. Let’s keep the conversation going in the comments below!

xo, Michelle

⇒⇒⇒ Looking for inspiration? Click here for 15 books that we have read and reread. When you click on each book cover, you’ll see our favorite quote from each book, and why we recommend it.

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