Barbara Schmidt's Blog, page 28

8 Things that Are Blocking You from Happiness

I feel confident that if I were to poll the next 100 people I encounter, and I ask them what they truly desire in life, a sweeping majority would reply: happiness. We are all in some sense, striving for happiness—that deep sense of inner peace and knowingness that everything is ok. We all just want to be happy. While many of us strive for happiness, we can lose sight of some of the actions we take daily that actually are counterproductive to our ultimate goal. Whenever I am feeling particularly unhappy, it’s usually due to one of these 8 blocks below. And so, I share them with you this week so you can be more aware, and more in control to take back your own happiness.

Comparison. One of the biggest causes of unhappiness, in my opinion. Comparison leads to so many negative feelings that make happiness seem almost impossible. When stuck in comparison, bring yourself back and remember that we are all here to shine our own unique light, there is no other you in this world, so dwell in that instead.
Regret. Living in the past brings regret. Wondering about the things we could have done differently and how that would have changed our current state. Regret is a drain for happiness. Remember to come back to the now, and trust that what happened in the past brought you to where you are today. Forgive and release what brings you suffering and find joy on the other side.
Uncertainty. Future tripping brings uncertainty and anxiety. There is no way to know how our lives are going to play out, and the unknown can make us feel very uncomfortable. When in this state, it is so important, to come back to the present moment, and rely on faith and trust that your life will unfold exactly as it’s meant to. We have no control anyway, right?
Inability to accept what is. Are you always feeling like the grass is always greener on the other side? When we lose the ability to accept our lives as they are in the present moment, we also lose the ability to find true happiness. Even if in the present moment your life isn’t exactly how you’d imagined it to be, find acceptance so that you can become clear on how to achieve your desires in a positive way.
Judgment. When you judge others, you are judging a part of yourself. What is happy about that? Judgment feels like an innate reaction, but it really brings more unhappiness than it’s worth. Make a commitment to practice non-judgment, seek out love and compassion instead.
Self-Doubt. A huge block to happiness is feelings of unworthiness and lack of self-confidence. Rather than focusing on what you feel you’re lacking in or less than, why not focus on your strengths? Don’t dwell in the lower vibe energy of insecurity; rise above to confidence and personal abundance. Make a list of all your strengths, and post it where you can see it daily.
Fear. It’s certainly safe to say that we live in a very fearful world. We see stories on a daily basis that make us feel powerless, scared, and unhappy. Fear serves a purpose in dangerous situations, but the ego mind loves to bring fear into every moment. Whenever you find yourself heading into a fearful place, return back to trust, awareness, and love.
Attachment. Being attached to anything—whether to material items, outcomes of situations, or even people blocks happiness. Essentially, the attachment sends out the energy that you are not complete in your own right. When we are attached, we also encompass so many of the other blocks above because we feel we need whatever we are attached to in order to survive. Learn the distinction between attachment and connection. Be connected to people, places, and things, and let go of the desire to attach to them.

What do you feel is blocking you from being truly happy in this moment? What are some of your tips to bring you back to happiness on a daily basis? Let me know!

Love, Michelle

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How to Deal with People Who Push Your Buttons

Living a positive life feels nice. You can do everything “right” and feel great, but in reality we are still going to come across people that push our buttons. Dealing with people who rub me the wrong way has been one of my biggest assignments in life thus far. Whether it’s a friendship gone south or a random stranger on the Internet, it takes a lot of inner work to deal with people who just rub you the wrong way. Fortunately, there are tools we can use to work through these feelings. Remember, we have a choice in how we act to situations and people, so keep that in mind to stay in your power (and to stay sane)!

Drop the judgment. As you may remember, I have been working on being judgment free, which has come in handy whenever I come across someone who is really getting under my skin. Like in any other situation with judgment, I notice when I’m judging the person, release that feeling, forgive myself, and choose again.
Don’t write a story. You know when someone cuts you in line at the grocery store, and you get so angry and in your mind you think, “What an insensitive jerk that person is.” You are writing a story about what kind of person could be so selfish, when in reality we have no idea what’s going on in someone else’s life at any given moment. Don’t write someone else’s story when they make you angry. Stay present, breathe, repeat a mantra or affirmation, and move forward.
Recognize that the other person is you. This is such a big one! Often times the really annoying things we see in other people are reflections of our own shadows. There have been so many times when I have been beyond irritated with someone, only to go within and realize that the particular person was mirriong something in me. If someone is making you majorly crazy, spend some time in reflection and see if you can come up with what that person might be triggering in you.
Forgive them and forgive yourself. We are all love, right? When someone pushes your buttons and you get feisty with them, it’s ok, but return back to love. Forgiveness is that path back to love. Don’t carry the negative emotions along with you. Say a prayer, take a breath, release the person, release the situation, and move along.
Look at all people as an assignment. A great lesson that I learned from Gabby Bernstein is, “All encounters are an opportunity to transform fear to love and create a miracle.” What can an interaction or a relationship teach you about being a better person? When you look at life from this standpoint you release the victim mentality and take responsibility for your life and your actions.
Wish them well from afar. Even when you can’t seem to do any of the above, do your best to wish this pesky person love, because most likely, it’s really all they need. We don’t set out to be annoying, selfish, mean-spirited, narcissistic, inauthentic, or whatever trait that makes you mad, but when we slip into that role, it’s because we’ve veered from love to fear. When you see someone acting in a certain way, send them love, wish them well from afar, and feel the sense of anger in you release immediately.

I hope these tips help you in dealing when any person or situation that riles you up! Do you have your own tips you use to manage people who push your buttons? Let me know in the comments!

Happy Day!

Love, Michelle

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The Importance of Setting Boundaries

A few months ago I was asked to do something that I really didn’t want to do. My intuition said no, my heart pulled back, and deep down I knew it wasn’t the right fit for me. I have a history of being a people pleaser and a pushover, and so, despite all my internal warnings, I said yes.

I fell back into the part of me that wants to always be liked, and who doesn’t want to disappoint. As you can imagine, I begrudgingly endured the entire situation. And guess what? I felt stressed, anxious, angry, frustrated, out of alignment, distracted, whiny, negative, and out of sorts (amongst many other crazy feelings).

Can any of you relate to this?

I think many of us inflict upon ourselves so much stress and anxiety because we think we have to, in order to be liked, accepted, welcomed, or included. The truth is, being a people pleaser and a pushover doesn’t really do anyone any good. People don’t really like you more this way, and ultimately you hurt yourself each and every time you participate in this habit.

Luckily, we can break the habit of people pleasing by cultivating one simple practice into our lives: setting boundaries.

Honestly, I really resisted the idea of setting boundaries for a long, long time, even though many therapists, coaches, and teachers instilled in me the importance of them. In my mind, I believed that the boundaries would scare people away, shut people out, and make me feel more alone.

It’s simply not true.

Boundaries are a form of empowerment, strength, and a way for us to align with our identity, our desires, and where we stand in the world. When you don’t have boundaries, you are sending out a signal that you don’t know what you want, that you’ll take whatever you can get, and that you won’t put up a fight along the way.

When you don’t have boundaries, you feel like you are constantly living in a “doormat” mentality. Setting boundaries is a form of self-respect and self-love. By respecting yourself enough to set the necessary boundaries in your life, you’ll discover a unique sense of freedom and peace of mind.

Right after that situation I mentioned above, I made a promise to myself to get in touch with my boundaries and practice enforcing them. The relief I felt was immediate.

If you are looking to start establishing more healthy boundaries in your life, here are a few helpful tips for you:

– Connect with yourself to uncover your desires and values.

– Make a list of the things that you will and will not tolerate in your life.

– Tell a trustworthy friend about your intention to stick to your boundaries, so they can help you stay accountable!

– Remember that it’s ok to say no.

– Trust that the right people will stick around when you have the courage to stick up for yourself.

I hope this is helpful for you. I know it can be hard, but trust me it is worth it!

PS– If you are looking to find your polling place for the midterm elections in the US on November 6th, please click here.

xo,

Michelle

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5 Simple Tools to Manage Stress

I don’t know about you guys, but the past few weeks for me have felt a little harried. I have noticed within myself and those around me a deep sense of anxiety and stress. There is a lot of uncertainty, fear, and unease about the state of the world.

Maybe, this also comes from inner turmoil about whether or not we are living the lives we are truly meant to be living. These are some heavy concerns and burdens to bear, right? Stress is a huge component in our lives, and it is one of the biggest blocks to living a life of freedom, ease, and joy. As we all know, stress leads to many physical ailments and diseases; it truly is the root of our problems. Luckily, we live in a world where we have access to tools for managing stress.

Having the knowledge and tools to manage stress and anxiety empowers us to live the life we truly dream of living. If you feel stress creeping in on your day or into your mind, here are my top five tips to keep anxious thoughts and stress at bay.

1. Practice meditation daily. My meditation practice has been my saving grace when it comes to managing the thoughts of the mind and finding a sense of inner peace. One of the biggest misconceptions of meditation is that its goal is to quiet the mind. It’s actually the opposite. The mind will always think, and it is in this dedicated space that I can let some of the errant thoughts go, without harping on them as I would in regular day-to-day moments.

2. Allow yourself to stop. Many of us get so busy in our lives that we believe that we cannot let ourselves stop. Give yourself permission to stop. You may have a long to-do list, but powering through without giving yourself a chance to stop, breathe, and regroup will not give you the results you desire. Stop before you start again.

3. Remember to breathe. In stressful times we tend to tense up, and in some cases we can forget to breathe! Our breath is our life force, and taking nice, deep, calming breaths can create a huge shift in our mind and body. Feeling stressed? Stop and take a deep breath, and you will probably notice instant relief.

4. Stop comparing yourself to others. Comparison is the true thief of joy. I have noticed when I compare myself to others, I feel stressed, anxious, and judgmental. We are all unique beings living equally different and amazing paths. Comparing is a waste of time. If you want to compete with anyone, gently do it with yourself. Strive to be the best version of yourself every day. Soon, you will notice you’ll care less what others are doing because you are so in love with what you do.

5. Make time for things that make you truly happy. We live in a society that often says doing things for pleasure is selfish. We know better. Self-care is a must! Put time in your calendar to do something you truly enjoy every day. Take a yoga class you love, get that massage you’ve been craving, or spend time with those who lift you up. Make the conscious decision to choose joy every single day.

I hope these tips help you manage any stressful feelings you are having now and always! Tell me in the comments below, what are your go-to’s for managing stress?

xoxo, Michelle

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The Best Habit to Develop Before the End of the Year

I recently was out to dinner with some friends, when one of the men in the group turned to me and starting asking me about my work with Peaceful Mind Peaceful Life, which I was super excited about. He then asked, “If you were in a coaching session with someone, and could only give them one tip to better their lives, what would it be?”

One of the more interesting questions I have been asked recently, the answer seemingly came out of my mouth with very little thought. My answer? “I would encourage any person to adopt a meditation practice into their lives, immediately.” He was very intrigued by my answer, which led to a great conversation and inspired the theme of this week’s blog!

Around this time of year, we often wait until New Year’s resolution time before we commit to a new habit or goal. There are 78 days left in 2018. Why wait until 2019? If there is one “habit” I would encourage you to adopt or resolve to do, without a doubt, it would be meditation. I’ve written in the past of how much meditation has influenced and changed my life, and it has and continues to do so.

Are you currently a meditator? If so, amazing! This week’s blog is just a casual reminder of how powerful the practice is for your daily life.

Not meditating quite yet? That’s ok too! We all have to begin somewhere! This week I want to talk about the common hindrances I hear about adopting a meditation practice, help you overcome those hindrances, and challenge you to commit to this practice for the rest of this month!

Hindrance #1: I don’t have time for a meditation practice

Solution: Yes, you do! If you have time to browse Facebook or social media (or even read this blog), you have time to meditate. The truth is, we all have time, even the busiest of us. We create time for the things we value. While meditation might not feel truly valuable to those just beginning, I promise you the time set aside will never be wasted. My tip for you here is to start small. You don’t need to dive deep into an hour long, daily meditation practice. Set aside five minutes in the morning, before you get out of bed. Close your eyes, focus on your breath, and allow yourself to connect with you, before you go out to connect with the world.

Hindrance #2: I can’t sit still for that long

Solution: Yes, you can! Just like anything else, meditation is a practice. It requires practice. At first, meditation can feel very challenging. We are used to being on the go 24-7. It’s natural to feel restless and even anxious when you first start to take time out of your day to seemingly sit and “do nothing.” Remind yourself that you’re starting something new, and you might be challenged, but that it will be worth it in the end.

Hindrance #3: I can’t quiet my mind

Solution: You don’t need to! In the same notion as the solutions above, meditation is a practice, and will feel more natural over time. Again, we have been taught to be on the go, thinking, pondering, reading, all the time. It’s natural to feel like you have millions of uncontrollable thoughts running through your head. The whole purpose of your mind is to think! We need our minds to think in order to be the creative, compassionate, inventive people we are meant to be in this world. The purpose of meditation is not actually to quiet the mind, you will feel insane in trying to do so. The purpose is to slow the thoughts of the mind, to be more purposeful with our thoughts, and to find the simple space between our thoughts.

Hindrance #4: Meditation is too weird and new-agey

Solution: Meditation is what you make it. Meditation isn’t a religion or cult or devious practice. Meditation is a practice of connecting with yourself, of turning off the external world for a few moments, of giving our bodies and minds a break, of remembering to breathe, of listening to your intuition, of being at peace. Make your meditation practice your own. Follow a practice that feels most comfortable to you, it doesn’t have to be weird; it truly is what you make it.

Hindrance #5: I don’t get any benefits from meditation

Solution: Have patience. This was one of my biggest hindrances for a very long time, as I truly thought I was one of those people who just wasn’t meant to meditate and who was missing out from the big “aha” of it. Some people may experience seismic shifts, new thought processes, brilliant ideas, and wild synchronicities. For others, it may be more subtle in the beginning. All I ask of you is to pay attention. Some of the most valuable aspects of meditation come in the very mundane moments. Perhaps you are more patient in the check out line at the grocery store, or you are more compassionate to someone in need. These small positive actions matter. They will add up. Your life will change. And for the better.

I hope these simple solutions help you on the way to cultivating a meditation practice! If there are some that I haven’t touched upon that you would like help with, please let me know in the comments below!

Like I said above, I would love to challenge each and every one of you to a meditation packed January!

Imagine the world we would live in if every person on the planet meditated for five minutes every day. It starts with us! You can do it!

xoxo, Michelle

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How I Manage Uncertainty

If you are anything like me, uncertainty can be of the biggest anxiety producers in life. I think as human beings it’s ingrained in us to want to know what’s going to happen, to be assured that we will be safe, and to trust that our best interests will always be met. As we all know all too well, we simply can’t be assured of these things, all of the time Or how about ever!).

Sure, we can hold a confident grasp on how certain scenarios may play out, we can take actions to move forward our goals and desires, and we can even tap into our intuitive senses, trusting that all will be well. But we also know that life is unpredictable, and there can be situations that put us on the edge of our seats that make us feel like victims to the world around us.

It certainly feels like the times we are living in right now are the epitome of uncertainty. Right? We simply don’t know what is going to play out from day to day, and I don’t know about you, but I’ve found myself at the edge of my seat yearning for answers, assurances, and a feeling of comfort.

I know how dizzying it can be to constantly feel like your mental, physical, and emotional well being rests on something completely outside of yourself, and so this is why I want to share my process for managing these feelings.

1. Create a strong foundation within yourself: meditate, journal, and take care of yourself. Know and trust yourself completely. When you feel calm, confident, and strong from within, you are better equipped to manage uncertainty regarding what’s happening outside.

2. Get centered and clear on your own personal goals and desires, so that you can take aligned action and be in the energy of what you wish to create. We are all amazingly creative humans, who each and every day are molding and shaping our world. By having clarity on who you are and what you want (from an aligned and compassionate space), you’ll become a strong creative force in the world.

3. Be mindful of the quality and quantity of information that you take in on a daily basis. Sometimes we allow ourselves to go down rabbit holes of information that only lead us to feeling more hopeless, powerless, and unsure. Stay informed on the things that truly matter, and disconnect from the rest.

4. Be conscious of what energy you are putting out into the world. Remember, we are creative, and our thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and actions are powerful. They add up! Ask yourself, What are you putting out there? Is it fear and anger, or love, compassion, and strength?

5. Remember that the present moment is all we truly have. Sure, it’s necessary to plan for the future, but it does none of us any good to future-trip (creating stories and scenarios of what could happen). Stay present in the happenings of the now, and stay focused on what you can be doing in this moment.

6. Be a beacon of hope, faith, and trust. When all else fails, the practice of trust is a powerful one. Affirm within yourself that life will unfold exactly as it should. Have faith that everything is falling into place. Be a source of light and hope for those around you.

I hope these simple reminders are helpful to you in this moment, and whenever life starts to feel overwhelming in this way.

Remember that life is in a constant state of ebb and flow, highs and lows. Also remember that as much as we would like, we can’t control anything that happens in the external world, but we are capable of directing our own thoughts, desires, actions, and deeds.

If we all collectively begin to take responsibility for what is going on inside ourselves, I trust that we all will begin to feel a deeper sense of peace, calm, and happiness.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on uncertainty, and how you manage the unknown. Let’s keep the conversation going in the comments below!

xo, Michelle

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The One Habit That Robs You of Happiness

Although we are different and unique people, fulfilling incredibly amazing purposes on this earth, we all share a common desire: happiness. We all greatly want to be happy, feel fulfilled, and have a sense of satisfaction when it comes to our lives and the legacies we leave. In my opinion, happiness isn’t all of a sudden obtained one day magically as if out of nowhere, it is continuously cultivated throughout life’s journey.

Sometimes on this journey we get in our own way and block the happiness and things we truly seek. There is one common habit that I have been witnessing everywhere, within everyone, that is completely robbing people of their joy, clarity, purpose, and even their sense of reality.The habit in question is comparison, but more specifically, comparison within social media, and the lives we portray on the internet.

Comparing ourselves to others is nothing new. We know it leads us down dark, sad roads. I think that there is a new genre of comparison in this era that stems from social media and the internet. Never before have we been so connected with one another. We are able to share every thought, idea, photo, and experience. I think it’s truly wonderful to have this connection, but it also sets us up for some serious comparison and competition.

Where social media is concerned, you often hear about the race to get the most likes, followers, and shares. You hear about people wanting to experience Instagrammable moments, be involved in trendy photographable experiences, and always being camera ready. You hear about people communicating about the perfection of their lives, and you only see a one-sided story through their lens of what they want you to see.

This week, my desire is to help you all cope with the comparative thoughts we all have, so that we can truly get back onto the path of happiness. Whenever you start to compare yourself to others remember:

―Your path is your own.

―You are exactly where you need to be in this moment.

―You are good enough and capable enough to achieve what you desire.

―There is room for everyone to achieve their dreams.

―One person’s success doesn’t take away from your own.

―You do not have to conform to anyone else’s timeline.

―Trust that life is unfolding exactly as it should.

When social media starts to trigger comparison:

―Know your limits and triggers.

―Come up with creative affirmations to counteract any negative thoughts.

―Replace internet time with self-care practices.

―Set boundaries for time spent on social media.

―Know that life is not meant to be picture perfect in every moment.

―Remember that social media is a highlight reel, not the full picture of people’s lives.

―Realize life is not meant to be picture perfect in every moment.

I hope this helps you begin to notice and curtail comparing thoughts! Remember you are amazing and unique just as you are! We all love hearing and seeing from you everyday in your own authentic way.

xoxo, Michelle

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The 5 Best Pieces of Advice I’ve Received

Do you ever have one of those moments, where you hear a sound bite or a quote, and you know it has just changed your life? Or have you ever had a conversation with someone you admire, and they bestow upon you advice that makes you see life from a brand new perspective? I know you all can probably answer yes to these questions, and you can appreciate the importance of valuable advice passed down, year after year.

I’ve spent some time lately thinking about my own life path, the ups, the downs, and the lessons that have come with it. In my reflection, I thought it would be fun to pull out some of the greatest life hacks shared with me along my journey thus far. These five pieces of advice I share with you today have changed my life in many ways: from saving relationships, to helping me through dark moments, to even moving me along on my career path.

I truly believe knowledge is power, and of course, like Maya Angelou says, “When we know better, we do better.” I lovingly pass along these words of wisdom that have changed the way I live my life.

1. Begin each day with a grateful heart. Cultivating an attitude of gratitude saved me from one of the darker moments in my life. Every day that we wake up living and breathing, we are given a gift, a clean slate, an opportunity. It is up to us how we choose to spend that day, but how beautiful it is that the opportunity is presented to us. By remembering gratitude in the morning sets the tone for the day in a positive light, and truly has the power to create meaningful change in our lives.

2. You cannot control the external world, but you can control your reaction to it. This is one of the most empowering pieces of advice I’ve been given, and my life was never the same after hearing it. Life will continue to happen outside of us, and it’s true, we cannot control it, but how amazing it is that we have the ability to monitor our thoughts and actions, take note of our habits, and consciously react to the world around us. Whenever life feels out of control, I remember that I can manage anything when working from the inside, out.



3. Finding forgiveness sets you free. I used to really love to be the person that held grudges (yes, I’m a Scorpio, it happens). Whenever I felt wronged by someone else, it only seemed fair that I be allowed to act out, hold on, and make it known that I was the victim of something unjust. After a period of time, I recognized how horrible this felt. And then I started to learn about the miracle of forgiveness. The truth is the purpose of forgiveness is not to benefit the person or thing that hurt you, but to release yourself from the shackles of the past. I had some difficult moments in my childhood (like we all do), and I’ll never forget my mom telling me over and over “don’t be a victim.” When you forgive, you release the victim mentality, you find freedom, you come back to the present moment, and open yourself up to new possibilities in life.

4. Release the need to take things personally. I credit this piece of knowledge to don Miguel Ruiz and his book The Four Agreements. This was one of the very first self-help books I ever read, and it opened my eyes to a brand new way of viewing life. I used to really care about what people thought of me, and truthfully, I am still working on it. Whenever I get into a funk about how someone treats me I remember that it has nothing to do with me, everything to do with them, and it really helps diffuse the situation. A bonus here is to send that person love and compassion, it always helps.

5. If you’re being your authentic self, you have no competition. I used to really worry about how I was going to make my mark in the world. Competition and comparison ran rampant in my mind, and it was draining trying to sort out how I could set myself apart in a world of billions of people. The antidote to this problem is to find out who you are, get in alignment with it, and come back to it, every single day. There was so much relief for me when I was able to truly bring this into practice in my life. I’ve been working a lot on what it means to cultivate your own sense of self, and how to live that, every day.

I hope these five pieces of advice give you some support on your own journey in life.

I’d love to hear what advice has been life changing for you. Let me know in the comments below!

xo, Michelle

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5 Things to Stop Doing Right Now

This week’s blog is going to be short and sweet. Sometimes, I think it’s really effective! When I learn something, I feel it so necessary to share with you.

I’ve been taking a lot of time to go inward and reflect and journal lately, even more than usual. I’ve had a lot of ideas and really important lessons spring to mind because of it. Here are the 5 common thought patterns that I’m sure we would all be fine without:

1. Comparing yourself to others, and thinking that you have to be like everyone else

You don’t have to be like everyone else, darling. You’re unique for a reason. Don’t compare, don’t judge, just be.

2. Thinking that you’re always doing something “wrong”

We get into the headspace that we are always doing things wrong, and that we have to fix ourselves. Did you ever stop to think that the things you’re doing “wrong” are part of the path to improving? It all serves a purpose.

3. Believing life and the Universe do not love and fully support you

The Universe will support you as much as you are open and willing to trust and be supported. We all have the ability and capability of feeling and being this way. Open up to it.

4. Thinking that you are not enough right this very minute

Let’s live a life of abundance, shall we? The first step in that is believing that you are deserving and that you are enough, right in this very minute. You are not lacking anything; you are whole and complete.

5. Believing that you cannot have what you desire

We are powerful beings; we can co-create anything we desire. Want to bring something into your life? Get clear, take action towards bringing it in, and allow the Universe to help you manifest. Keep the faith.

I hope this inspires you to cut some of these negative mental habits out of your life starting today! What else can you commit to that will bring you happiness and inner peace? Let me know in the comments!

xoxo Michelle

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4 Habits That Add Stress to Your Life

In almost every conversation I have with friends, family, or acquaintances, the topic of managing stress habitually comes up. If I were to poll all of you reading this article right now on what is bothering you the most, I imagine a majority of you would answer something related to stress, and how to manage it.

Yes, stress is annoying, difficult, and frustrating. Stress is part of life; however, just because something is part of our lives, doesn’t mean it has to control our lives. I used to let every little thing stress me out, until I really developed a relationship with my stress. I learned how to manage it and I live knowing it’s there from time to time, but I don’t let it rule my life.

It’s possible to live peacefully with the stresses of our lives. The first step is becoming aware of our stress triggers, so we can take appropriate action. I have made it a point to notice the habits in my life that tend to lead me to a stressful place, and I’m feeling many of you will relate to them! Take a look below at my top four, and see if any of these habits have a roll in your life. I have added some replacements or reframes, so you can begin to manage these with grace and ease.

Multitasking. Whenever I have way too many things going on at once, I feel completely buried in stress. Usually, my multitasking stems from not being organized enough and not mentally having a good grasp of my time management. As we know, when we divide our attention at any given moment, our energy is zapped, our productivity is lowered, and the quality of our work is diminished. Try to get into the habit of doing one thing at a time. Write things down, make to-do lists, and create schedules, so you can trust that there is enough time to get everything done. This will help give your brain a sense of peace.

Excessive Internet use. This one is a huge for me personally. I can very easily get sucked into hours of mindless social media and Internet surfing. Some days I think back and try to calculate the hours I’ve spent on online, and it truly embarrasses me. Yes, we live in the age of the Internet, and our jobs require us to be connected often, but staring at screens 24/7 is not good for our brains, our eyes, or our psyche. Social media can bring up so many emotions from fear to lack to unworthiness. All of these are huge stress triggers. Notice how much time you spend in front of a screen. Give yourself limits. What really works for me is allotting myself a set amount of time to check in online per day. Once I’m done, I’m done. Be disciplined, step away from the phone or computer, and give your brain a break.

Too much caffeine. I love my coffee, but I definitely have those days where the coffee intake is greater than the water intake, and I feel like a total crazy person. While I’m not here to tell you whether or not you should have coffee in your life, I am here to say that it’s important to make sure you are staying hydrated throughout the day. When I think back on the days that I have physically felt the worst, there is an absolute correlation to the fact that I drank very little water and too much caffeine. How we feel physically has a huge impact on our stress levels. We have to feel good in order to do the good work of our lives. Remembering to drink your water is a simple, effective tool to help keep your nerves at bay. To help me out with this, I recently bought a super cute Swell, reusable bottle that I love bringing around with me.

Saying yes too much. Are you one of those people that has your schedule packed to the brim? Do you say yes to every invite, opportunity, or event? Chances are your packed schedule is leaving you no solo time, which can take its toll on our sense of calm. There is high value in taking part in our societal roles; however, it is equally as important to have the space in between to breathe, be quiet, and regroup. If you are reading this, and can’t remember the last time you spent at least 20 minutes alone, this one is big for you. Know that it’s ok to say no to the things that don’t really light you up. Make alone time a priority, put it in your calendar, and commit to set aside the time. We restore ourselves when we are alone, remember that.

I hope these common habits and their solutions help you on your way to managing stress with ease! Have you noticed any other habits that bring you stress? Let’s keep the conversation going below!

xoxo, Michelle

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