Debmita Dutta's Blog, page 24

Are you struggling with parenting because you don’t have time?

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Are you struggling with parenting because you don’t have time?
Then you are not alone
From parents of a babies to parents of teenagers – all parents have too much work and too little time.
Is there a solution to this?
Yes, there is!
Here are 3 tips – 
Tip 1 – Be PRESENT
Even if you just have 15 minutes with your child – just focus on being fully present during that time.
Ensure that you are not preoccupied thinking of other work that you need to do during that time.
Tip 2 – Be CONSITENT
Make a schedule for spending time with your child and follow it every day.
Once your child is sure that they will definitely have full access to you at certain times of the day – they will stay busy and happy without complaining for the rest of the day
Tip 3 – Understand QUALITY TIME
The quantity of time you have will not be a problem if you convert the time you have into quality time.
What you should do to spend QUALITY TIME with your child changes as your child grows.
From birth to 18 months – 
Your child needs close contact with you.
Practice skin to skin contact as much as possible.
When you have to move around – practice baby wearing
From 18 months to 3 years
Your child needs to explore the world 
When you are present let your child explore the world by moving around and touching things
Keep the environment safe so that you don’t have to keep saying NO
From 3 to 7 years
Your child needs to master skills
Teach your child self-care and involve your child in chores
Teach them social skills by taking them out
From 7 to 12 years
Support them so that they master their basics in academics
Talk to them and learn about their friends
From 13 to 18
Help them to master time management
Spend time with them doing the things they are interested in doing.
Time cannot be CREATED – but it can be MAXIMISED

Type MAX and start doing these things today.

Share this now and let everyone who tells you to spend more time with your child know that you know what you are doing 

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Should you be your child’s PARENT / FRIEND

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Should you be your child’s PARENT / FRIEND If you are confused about that This video is for you #parenting #teenparenting #parentorfriend #parentingworkshop

If your intelligent child is not interested in studies

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If your intelligent child is not interested in studies – 
Do these 5 things – 

1. Switch off the mobile and TV
Research shows that being around screens reduces interest in learning new things
The interest decreases even if the child is not actively watching TV themselves and the TV is just running in the background

2. Give your time lots of time to play
The only reason a child does anything is because it will allow her/him to play
If we take away play time – children lose the motivation to do anything especially to study

3. Talk to your child about all kinds of things
The more your child listens to you and understands what you are saying – the easier it will become for your child to learn. 

4. Focus on learning not on marks
Focus on marks frightens children and distracts them from learning. Fear also decreases the motivation to do anything including study

5. Don’t bribe or reward your child for studying
Research shows that when a reward or bribe is given for something – the child’s interest shifts from the task to the reward. They then just do what they are asked to do in a hurry and leave it incomplete and untidy to get the reward.

Type STUDY and start doing these things today
Your child will start studying well

These behaviors could be a sign of your child’s INTELLIGENCE.

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​Before you get IRRITATED with your child for some of the things they are doing and SCOLD them for it – STOP and THINK.

These behaviors could be a sign of your child’s INTELLIGENCE.

Behavior 1 – MOVING AROUND AND TOUCHING EVERYTHING
This is a sign of CURIOSITY
Curious children learn faster

Behavior 2 – NOT LISTENING TO YOU WHEN THEY ARE BUSY DOING SOMETHING
This is a sign of FOCUS
Focused children can ignore distraction and stay on task

Behavior 3 - MAKING UP STORIES / TELLING LIES
This is sign of CREATIVITY
Creative children understand faster and are good at comprehension

Behavior 4 – ARGUING
This is a sign of CRITICAL THINKING
Children who can think critically are good at problem solving

Behavior 5 – INSISTING ON DOING THINGS THEMSELVES
This is a sign of CONFIDENCE
Children who are confident will try more things and will be more likely to succeed.

Are you getting irritated and scolding your child for these behaviors?

Then you are missing out on the chance to BUILD your child’s BRAIN and nurture their INTELLIGENCE.

STOP NOW

Start Parenting with Neuroscience.

It will help you understand your child and build their brain by channeling these behaviors and turning them into winning qualities.

Send me a DM and say “PB” if you want details of my Parenting with Neuroscience course for the parents of 0- to 7-year-olds.

Share this so that those who scold your child for these 5 behaviors – see this and understand that these are signs of your child’s intelligence.

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Are you thinking of leaving your job because you think that will be the best thing you can do for your child?

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Are you thinking of leaving your job because you think that will be the best thing you can do for your child?

Don’t do that.

Here are the reasons – 

1. Sacrifice creates resentment
If you sacrifice everything for your child you will soon start blaming your child for everything you have lost.
Your child will feel your resentment even if you never say it.
This will result in your child developing LOW SELF-ESTEEM

2. Too much time together results in more criticizing
When you spend all day with your child you will start seeing more and more of their faults and start criticizing them more
Your child will feel like a failure
This will result in your child LOSING MOTIVATION

3. When you spend all day parenting – it will start feeling work instead of fun
Doing household chores and running errands is a lot of hard work and you don’t get paid for it
You will start feeling EXHAUSTED and EXPLOITED

Parenting does not require all day

You can easily do your best for your child while working at a job if you start PARENTING with NEUROSCIENCE.

Type PB in comments if you want details of my PARENTING with NEUROSCIENCE course for the parents of 0- to 7-year-olds.

Share this so that those who have been asking you to leave your job for your child see this and realize that they are wrong.

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Good gut health is essential for your child’s good physical and mental health.

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Good gut health is essential for your child’s good physical and mental health.

And giving your child probiotics is a wonderful way to build good gut health

You can give your child these 3 homemade probiotics

1. Curd
Heat the milk to just below boiling temperature. Then add a bit of curd and mix it in well. Keep the mixture in an area where the temperature is around 40-45°C for around 4 hours.

2. Hand pounded chutneys
Pound ingredients like Coriander (dhania), mint (pudina), tomatoes, coconut, sesame seeds, peanuts, gongura leaves by hand using a mortar and pestle or a sill batta. Make the Chutneys fresh every day and serve in small quantities.

3. Pickled vegetables
Cauliflower, carrot, radish and other root vegetables can be pickled by fermentation at home using mustard powder, salt and water. Serve your child tiny quantities.

But just giving your child probiotic rich food is not enough.

There are 5 other things that you must do to ensure good gut health for your child.

Type GUT and I will send you the 5 tips

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How to ensure good gut health for your child

How to ensure good gut health for your child –
 
Tip 1
 
Give your child probiotics like curd and hand pounded chutneys
 
Tip 2
 
Give your child enough prebiotics in their diet

Whole wheat roti, brown rice, jowar roti, bajra kheer, ragi porridgeDals – moong dal, masoor dal, kabuli chana, rajmaOther food – Moong dal khichdi, idli, dosa, dhokla, kadhiVegetables – Ladies finger, bottle gourd, pumpkinGreen leafy vegetables – spinach, amaranth, methiFruits – apples, berries, pears Tip 3
Good fats are a must in your child’s dietGheeCoconut – grated, as milk or oil Tip 4
Reduce or remove all junk food from their diet
Say no to cakes, cookies, white bread, ice cream, candy, soda, chips
Tip 5
Do not give your child antibiotics unless your doctor prescribes them
Tip 6
Ensure that your child gets enough sleep and exercise to reduce stress
​
Focus on good gut health is an easy way to ensure that your child thrives
 

​Are worried that your child is not FOCUSING?

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​Are worried that your child is not FOCUSING?
Then see if you are making these 5 BIG MISTAKES

MISTAKE 1
Asking your child “WHAT ARE YOU DOING” when they are doing something with FULL FOCUS.
Stop now!
Interrupting children destroys their focus. 
Do this – 
• Watch in silence 
• Ask questions with interest when they come to you to show you what they have done
MISTAKE 2 
Telling your child “DO IT LIKE THIS – NOT LIKE THAT” when they are trying to do something
Stop now!
Trying and discovering how to do something requires intense focus. Showing your child how to do things the right way all the time robs them of the opportunity to focus intensely and build focus.
Do this – 
• Allow your child to make mistakes and learn from them
• Give them a small suggestion if you see them getting frustrated
MISTAKE 3
Praising your child while they are doing something and saying “OH THIS IS SO NICE”
Stop now!
Praise shifts them from intrinsic motivation to extrinsic motivation. The level of focus is not deep when the motivation is extrinsic.
• Wait in silence until your child finishes
• Motivate them with a smile when they look at you
• Appreciate what they have done when they ask you
MISTAKE 4
Repeatedly telling your child “DON’T MAKE A MESS”
Dividing their focus between what they are doing and the mess they must not create – results in your child’s focus becoming half of what it is
• Allow your child to make a mess as long as it is not harming them
• Never shout at them for making a mess
MISTAKE 5 
Insisting that your child does what you want them to do and not what they want to do saying “DO THIS NOT THAT”
When your child does something they want to do – they are intensely focused. The focus is not as deep when they do something you want them to do.
Do this - 
• Tune in to what your child is doing
• Teach your child what you want to teach them through what they are already doing
FOCUS IS THE SECRET TO SUCCESS
Of course, you want your child to succeed – but because you are not PARENTING with NEUROSCIENCE you could be destroying your child’s chances of being SUCCESSFUL by making these mistakes
START PARENTING WITH NEUROSCIENCE.
Send me a DM saying PB if you want to join my course

You are SPOILING your child with TOO MUCH LOVE

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You are SPOILING your child with TOO MUCH LOVE

Have you been told that by your family members? 

And has that made you feel like a bad mother/ father? 

Then this is what you need to understand about LOVE 

YOU CAN NEVER SPOIL YOUR CHILD WITH TOO MUCH LOVE. 

You can only spoil your child when you give PRESENTS because you feel GUILTY about not having TIME 

You can only spoil your child when you BRIBE them to do things they don’t want to do so that you can get your work done QUICKLY 

You can only spoil your child when you give them ANYTHING to end their TANTRUMS because you are too BUSY to console them 

So your child is not getting SPOILT because of your LOVE 

Your child is getting SPOILT because of your - 

1. Your GUILT because you are not giving them TIME and ATTENTION 

2. Your HURRY to get things done because you can't spend TIME convincing them 

3. Your IRRITATION with their CRYING and TANTRUMS and your desire to end their tantrums without spending TIME 

So the problem is that you don't have TIME

But does PARENTING require all your TIME? 

No 

Just start PARENTING with NEUROSCIENCE 

DM me with PB in the message text if you want details of my PARENTING with NEUROSCIENCE course for the parents of 0 to 7 year olds. 

Share this with those who give your child GIFTS and BRIBES and then say that you are spoiling your child with too much love 

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​If I don't tell my child that they are wrong who will tell them?

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​If I don't tell my child that they are wrong who will tell them? 

But then I am scared that criticising them will damage their SELF-ESTEEM And CONFIDENCE 

So what should I do? 

Many parents ask me 

My answer is - 

Use the SANDWICH TECHNIQUE to criticise your child. 

That will ensure that your child improves because of your critcism without losing their SELF-ESTEEM And CONFIDENCE 

So what is the SANDWICH technique? 

Sandwich the criticism between two layers of appreciation. 

Like this - 

Step 1 APPRECIATE 

That will make them listen 

Eg. - I really like the way you are learning to ask for what you want nowadays 

Step 2 SUGGEST CHANGES 

That will make them think 

Eg. - But I think if you ask without shouting,  you will be more likely to get what you want 

Step 3 HIGHLIGHT their STRENGTHS 

That will increase their SELF-ESTEEM And MOTIVATION to change 

Eg. - You are a very lovable person so you will be able to do this very easily 

The SANDWICH technique works very well at all ages because it uses NEUROSCIENCE 

Parenting with Neuroscience makes Parenting easy enjoyable and effective 

Start PARENTING with NEUROSCIENCE now 

Share this now and help other parents who may not be using Neuroscience in Parenting 

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#Parenting #Neuroscience #self-esteem criticism