Doug Ward's Blog, page 28
February 20, 2017
Ward's Words #1030
That fateful night, I could only watch in horror as a young Swiss Miss's life drained away before my eyes... (and out of my mug with mini marshmallows.) I stand with the Swiss because they stood with us after Bowling Green!
February 17, 2017
Ward's Words #1029
I'm always amazed at young people who wear camouflage ton dates. Are they taking a hunter/prey philosophy on courting?
February 15, 2017
Ward's Words #1027
I find my iPhone's FaceTime camera is great for checking for hangers. That is, unless you mistakenly call someone while doing so.
February 13, 2017
Ward's Words #1025
I can’t understand how anyone can watch basketball? I can’t even get past the squeaking sneakers.
February 12, 2017
Ward's Words #1093
Every time I watch an X-Men movie I find myself thinking, "What happened to you Gandalf?"
February 9, 2017
Ward’s Words #1021
My doctor told me to eat more fruit so I bought some Captain Crunch with Crunch Berries.
February 8, 2017
Ward's Words #1019
The only thing my memory foam shoe inserts do is remember the terrible smell of my feet.
February 7, 2017
Ward's Words #1017
Is jagoff supposed to be hyphenated? I asked at the Gianiggle but they don kno…
February 5, 2017
Ward's Words #1014
I hate when people say they married their best friend. My best friend was my wingman. I doubt she’d go for it.
February 4, 2017
Ward's Words #1012
I believe in our safety as much as the next guy but when we start fingerprinting babies… What could they possibly have done? They were literally born yesterday.
