Doug Ward's Blog, page 117

Ward's Laws #1274

I guess Achilles mother didn't believe in double dipping.

Ward's Laws #1271

I'm going to stop brushing my teeth.  I figure after a couple of days my boss will start avoiding me instead of the other way around.

Ward's Laws #1269

If the Trix rabbit never ate Trix cereal how was he able to describe it so well?

Ward's Laws #1270

If Humpty Dumpty was an egg wasn't he really a she?

Ward's Laws #1267

Never eat animal crackers at the zoo.  It really creeps the animals out...

Ward's Laws #1260

There would be less traffic fatalities if Nerf made cars!

Ward's Laws #1257

You know you're really hairy when your vet accidentally applies Frontline between your shoulders.

Ward's Laws #1254

Scientists say the brontosaurus never existed but I know they're wrong.  How can they explain the fact that Fred Flintstone was a Bronto Crane operator?  I clearly saw him sliding down the fabled creatures back bellowing "yabba dabba doo!"  Another science blunder exposed by Ward's Laws!

Ward's Laws #214

I don't believe in "No Child Left Behind." I think we should leave at least a few behind, if for no other reason than to slow down the zombies that are chasing us.

Ward's Laws #162

Isn't it funny that Odysseus was the key player in the Odyssey.  Do you think Homer was grasping for character names at some point?  I wonder if he was thinking...  "Hmmm, if I change one letter from the title... no one will pick up on that!"