Doug Ward's Blog, page 118
May 5, 2013
Ward's Laws #157
Old people always say they used to lie in the grass and look up at the clouds, picking out the forms they looked like. Remember kids they had no TV back in those days. That’s why they did stuff like that. Give them a Playstation and see if they would have gone outside. It was almost like they were stuck on Gilligan's Island, not a single luxury.
Ward's Laws #154
Did you ever notice old people always say kids should go play outside. They then launch into tales about how they played outside all day. Well, if outside is so great, why don't they ever go outside as an adult? Don't be fooled kids. They just want you outta their hair. They’re sick of you monopolizing the TV and want the remote for themselves.
Wards Laws #155
What the heck are road crews thinking. I mean, I understand that maybe one of the workers isn't really smart but to make that poor person hold a sign saying the he or she is “SLOW” is just wrong.
Wards Laws #149
Man should never send anything to the planet Uranus. Could you imagine the reporters saying "the probe is nearing Uranus". NASA would never be taken seriously again.
Ward’s Laws #120
When does the Post-Apocalyptic Future begin? I want to start driving a wild looking dune buggy in leather. Kind of like a Village People... person... guy??? What’s worse is wearing leather, in a desert, in the sun, with no AC. Now that’s a sticky situation. Literally!
Ward's Laws #116
NASA should look into using Buffalo wings on their rockets. If just two of those little things can lift a buffalo off the ground then what could a hundred of those suckers do?
Ward’s Laws #114
I have a new hobby. I’ve been crossing shark DNA with human DNA in order to create children who don’t need to go to the dentist… ever! On a completely unrelated note, my pets seem to disappear, without a trace. I must be leaving the door open a lot?
April 30, 2013
Defeat Zombies: Zombie Lit Review: Saving Jebediah - Another True...
Defeat Zombies: Zombie Lit Review: Saving Jebediah - Another True...: I just finished reading another good short Zombie novella: Saving Jebediah - Another True Story of the Zombie Apocalypse by Doug Ward. I...
Ward's Laws #1257
I sure am glad I'm not a vulture. Eating the fur along with the meat would make eating road kill really gross.
April 28, 2013
Ward's Laws #1254
People seriously believe aliens built the pyramids? Really? A triangle? Either creativity is not their strongpoint or these aliens are shaped like Doritos.
