The Ghost Therapist...And Other Grand Delights Quotes

“like two single people playing cat and mouse for way too long, where the cheese has long since expired for the mouse and the mouse is way too malnourished for the cat.”
― J.S. Mason, The Ghost Therapist...And Other Grand Delights

“The bitter tasted like the truth, the sweet tasted like a lie.”
― J.S. Mason, The Ghost Therapist...And Other Grand Delights

“He touched the wall and the paint was cold so it probably needed another coat.”
― J.S. Mason, The Ghost Therapist...And Other Grand Delights

“Au contraire, and because I said that, that makes me French, unlike the Englishman at a Paris auction house who raised his '3' paddle after a Frenchman yelled, 'I bid you adieu.”
― J.S. Mason, The Ghost Therapist...And Other Grand Delights

“It all began when Santa’s helpers demanded Universal Elf Care.”
― J.S. Mason, The Ghost Therapist...And Other Grand Delights

“it’s three strikes and you’re out of the union”
― J.S. Mason, The Ghost Therapist...And Other Grand Delights

“The lion forever owed his pride and life to his wife, showing some humility, but we’ve all done things we’re not proud of.”
― J.S. Mason, The Ghost Therapist...And Other Grand Delights

“yet one animal food critic in particular commented that his dish had a certain ‘je ne sais’, but all that was missing was the ‘quoi’.”
― J.S. Mason, The Ghost Therapist...And Other Grand Delights

“The ibex ran off with her neighbor, after five days, to do some environmental and social reform campaigning in the Mexican mountains hoping to see some casaba melons, as well as houses for sheep, and informed the penguin he would do well.”
― J.S. Mason, The Ghost Therapist...And Other Grand Delights

“Santa was sweating, so much so that he realized that his coat was in no way indicative of a man who acclimated to changing temperature conditions”
― J.S. Mason, The Ghost Therapist...And Other Grand Delights

“The book that he wanted was in an area that seemed barren and deserted from the rest of the library, like a friend who had been alienated for committing a social faux pas such as pronouncing French words with the English “x” and “s” sound, not the “faux pas” referring to the loser in a paternity test battle.”
― J.S. Mason, The Ghost Therapist...And Other Grand Delights

“He had been shuffled out so quickly he didn’t even realize what he was wearing, like a King of Spades who wanted to file a complaint to the playing card company manufacturer for not drawing him a garden tool like he specifically asked for.”
― J.S. Mason, The Ghost Therapist...And Other Grand Delights

“The vet was open this late, because he needed the business and the money to keep the “not closed” sign lit.”
― J.S. Mason, The Ghost Therapist...And Other Grand Delights

“And the emu, not standing up to the cassowary, accompanied the cassowary on their continued journey of the safari, never to return because a zebra herd trapped them back into pre-color television times indefinitely.”
― J.S. Mason, The Ghost Therapist...And Other Grand Delights

“The wolves were now permanently mute out of almost three week long perpetual fear of the penguin, and this was agreeable to the penguin, who was much pleased, contrary to the redundancy of the latter part of this sentence where he certainly was not pleased.”
― J.S. Mason, The Ghost Therapist...And Other Grand Delights