Ain't She Sweet? Quotes

“When male authors write love stories, the heroine tends to end up dead.”
― Susan Elizabeth Phillips, Ain't She Sweet?

“It runs in the family. And don't expect me to be ashamed. Yankees lock away loony relatives, but down here, we prop 'em up on parade floats and march 'em through the middle of town.”
― Susan Elizabeth Phillips, Ain't She Sweet?

“Something snapped inside her. “Of course I’m afraid! Relationships do bad things to me.” He started to respond, but the pain had gone on long enough, and she didn’t want to hear it. “You know what I want? I want peace. I want a good job and a decent place to live. I want to read books and listen to music and have time to make some female friendships that are going to last. When I wake up in the morning, I want to know that I have a decent shot at being happy. And here’s what’s really sad. Until I met you, I was almost there.”
― Susan Elizabeth Phillips, Ain't She Sweet?

“They reached the carriage house. When she turned the knob, he got all critical again. “Why isn’t this door locked?”

“It’s Parrish. There’s not much point.”

“We have crime here, just as any other place does. Keep this door locked from now on.”

“Like that’s going to stop you. All you’d have to do is give it one good kick, and – “

“Not from me, you ninny!”

“I hate to be the one to break the bad news, but if they find my body, you’re the one with the biggest grudge.”

“It’s impossible to hold a rational conversation with you.”
― Susan Elizabeth Phillips, Ain't She Sweet?

“Colin : “Perhaps now is the time to tell you that I have a weakness for agreeable women.”

Sugar Beth : “Well, that sure does leave me out.”

Colin : “Exactly. With agreeable women, I’m unendingly considerate. Gallant even.”

Sugar Beth : “But with tarts like me, the gloves are off, is that it?”

Colin : “I wouldn’t exactly call you a tart. But then, I tend to be broad-minded.”

She suppressed the urge to dump her porridge in his lap.”
― Susan Elizabeth Phillips, Ain't She Sweet?

“We’re all works in progress, honey. And believe me when I tell you that I’ve had to work harder than most.”
― Susan Elizabeth Phillips, Ain't She Sweet?

“You try spending six months sitting at somebody's bedside, waiting for them to die and then tell me that the happy-ending love story isn't one of God's good gifts.”
― Susan Elizabeth Phillips, Ain't She Sweet?

“People will always try to steal
your power. When you do well, they’ll say it’s only because you’re rich and your parents are big shots. People who care about you will try to steal
your power, too, but they’ll go about it differently. When you fail at something, they’ll try to make you feel better by saying that nobody’s good at
everything, and you shouldn’t be so hard on yourself. They might tell you not to feel bad about screwing up a math test because math’s hard for girls.
Or they’ll say you shouldn’t worry so much about injustice in the world because you’re only one person. And even though they mean well, they’ll be
making you less than what you can be.”
― Susan Elizabeth Phillips, Ain't She Sweet?

“Now, now. Southern ladies don’t French-kiss and tell.”
― Susan Elizabeth Phillips, Ain't She Sweet?

“There was something about a man with a shovel, and the sweat on his neck might as well have been chocolate sauce. It wasn't fair. Brains and brawns should be two separate categories, not bundled into one irresistible package. She needed to pull herself together before she went after him with a spoon. But where to start?”
― Susan Elizabeth Phillips, Ain't She Sweet?

“[Colin to Sugar Beth] I put my heart on every page.”
― Susan Elizabeth Phillips, Ain't She Sweet?

“When he overheard the boys whispering that he was a queer, he said he regarded that as a compliment since so many of the world’s great men had been homosexual. Alas, I’ve been sentenced to a life mundane heterosexuality. I can only hope that a few of you will be more fortunate.”
― Susan Elizabeth Phillips, Ain't She Sweet?

“His gaze was a lot steadier than her heartbeat. “She’s the reason for those whispered phone calls I used to overhear, isn’t she?”
“Don’t be silly. I was talking to my lover.”
“She told me she lives at a place called Brookdale. After I hung up, I did a little research on the Web. Your talent for obfuscation continues to amaze me.”
“Hey, I haven’t obfuscated in weeks. Makes you go blind.”
― Susan Elizabeth Phillips, Ain't She Sweet?

“If you were a sane woman, I would, of course, behave in a more rational fashion. Since you are a lunatic, however, this is the only way.”
― Susan Elizabeth Phillips, Ain't She Sweet?

“It was one of the two questions people most frequently asked writers, and if he invited her to join him, it wouldn’t take her long to get around to the other one. “I’ve always wanted to know, Colin. Where do you authors get your ideas?”

We steal them.

From extraterrestrials.

There’s a warehouse outside Tulsa…”
― Susan Elizabeth Phillips, Ain't She Sweet?

“When that bastard calls back, you tell him he’s won this round. I’ll marry him. But I don’t take well to being blackmailed, and tell him I intend to spend the rest of my life making him miserable, got that?”
― Susan Elizabeth Phillips, Ain't She Sweet?

“Sugar Beth detected the movement and shot him a look that challenged not only his manhood but also his very right to exist on the planet.”
― Susan Elizabeth Phillips, Ain't She Sweet?

“His loss. I know a hell of a lot more about headstrong teenage girls than he does.”
Colin gave her his most quelling look. “You’re baiting him again.”
Ryan studied first one of them and then the other. “What’s going on with you two?”
“Nothing.”
Unfortunately, they spoke together, automatically making them look like liars. Sugar Beth recovered first and handled the situation in her own way. “Relax, Ryan. Colin’s done his best to get rid of me, but I’m blackmailing him with some unsavory facts I’ve unearthed about his past, which may or may not involve the ritual deaths of small animals, so if my body ends up in a ditch somewhere, tell the police to start their interrogations with him. Plus you might warn everybody to be careful with their cats.”
― Susan Elizabeth Phillips, Ain't She Sweet?

“You don’t live life. You act it.”
― Susan Elizabeth Phillips, Ain't She Sweet?

“In case you’re not bright enough to figure it out, there’s a real upside to having a sinner like me answer your phone. I lie, and your conscience stays clear.”
― Susan Elizabeth Phillips, Ain't She Sweet?

“He’d lapped at her ankles like a lovesick pup, and she’d been exactly what she was now, a woman born too beautiful and too rich to worry about a small thing like integrity.”
― Susan Elizabeth Phillips, Ain't She Sweet?

“Hold it right there. The only agreement we ever had was that you intended to make me as miserable as possible, and I intended to courageously make the best of an intolerable situation like valiant Southern women have always done.”
― Susan Elizabeth Phillips, Ain't She Sweet?

“Mummy’s coming home late tonight. It’ll be just we guys, so we can get drunk and watch porn.”
― Susan Elizabeth Phillips, Ain't She Sweet?

“It was a bitch living with your old English teacher, especially when your old English teacher wasn’t old at all, and he had exactly the kind of body that most appealed to her, tall and lean, broad in the shoulder, narrow at the hip. Then there was his brain. It had taken her a lot of years to find that particular part of a man appealing, but she’d finally gotten in the habit, and she couldn’t seem to give it up.”
― Susan Elizabeth Phillips, Ain't She Sweet?

“The Cinderella story in reverse. I only wish there were ashes in the fireplace so I could order you to sweep them out.”
― Susan Elizabeth Phillips, Ain't She Sweet?

“When it’s your fourth marriage, you tend to lose faith in superstitions.”
― Susan Elizabeth Phillips, Ain't She Sweet?

“The first week of school they spotted him using a tortoise-shell cigarette holder. When he'd overheard some of the boys whispering that he looked like a queer he'd gazed down his long nose at them and said he regarded that as a compliment since so many of the world's great men had been homosexual.
Alas I've been sentenced to a life of mundane heterosexuality. I can only hope a few of you will be more fortunate.”
― Susan Elizabeth Phillips, Ain't She Sweet?

“A couple of nights ago I had an erotic dream about Edward Norton.”
― Susan Elizabeth Phillips, Ain't She Sweet?

“Mientras recogía las bolsas de la compra, un familiar Lexus berlina color coñac se detuvo a su lado. La ventanilla del conductor bajó apareció el rostro del Duque del Infierno en persona,
sonrisa burlona incluida.
_ Pareces una vagabunda.
Sugar Beth supuso que lo decía por las bolsas, no por sus tejanos o su cazadora de motera.
_ Gracias, que tengas un buen día tú también.
Él la contempló a través de unas gafas sin montura.
_ ¿Quieres que te lleve?
_ ¿Dejas subir plebeyos a tu carruaje?
_ Hoy me siento benevolente.
_ Es mi día de suerte.”
― Susan Elizabeth Phillips, Ain't She Sweet?

“Todo el mundo comenta cómo salvaste la vida de Winnie anoche
_ Lo que hice fue hacerle una zancadilla cuando llegamos a la puerta y luego arrastrarla a
la calle, para que todos pensara que la había salvado.
Él sonrió y levantó su tazón en señal de brindis.
_ Bien hecho.
_ Veo que has pasado demasiado tiempo en mi poco recomendable compañía.”
― Susan Elizabeth Phillips, Ain't She Sweet?