Self-Compassion Quotes

“Our humanity can never be taken away from us, no matter how far we fall.”
― Kristin Neff, Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself

“By giving ourselves unconditional kindness and comfort while embracing the human experience, difficult as it is, we avoid destructive patterns of fear, negativity, and isolation. At the same time, self-compassion fosters positive mind-states such as happiness and optimism. The nurturing quality of self-compassion allows us to flourish, to appreciate the beauty and richness of life, even in hard times. When we soothe our agitated minds with self-compassion, we’re better able to notice what’s right as well as what’s wrong, so that we can orient ourselves toward that which gives us joy.”
― Kristin Neff, Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself

“Like Jacob, suppressing and then exploding with our emotions is something most of us have experienced. I like to term this process “overidentification.” Our sense of self becomes so wrapped up in our emotional reactions that our entire reality is consumed by them. There’s no mental space left over to say, “Gosh, I’m getting a bit worked up here. Maybe there’s another way to look at this.” Rather than stepping back and objectively observing what’s occurring, we’re lost in the thick of it. What we think and feel seems like a direct perception of reality, and we forget that we are putting a personal spin on things.”
― Kristin Neff, Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself

“Most of all, I promise to help you have compassion for yourself, so that you can thrive and be happy.”
― Kristin Neff, Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself

“Our successes and failures come and go—they neither define us nor do they determine our worthiness. They are merely part of the process of being alive. Our minds may try to convince us otherwise, but our hearts know that our true value lies in the core experience of being a conscious being who feels and perceives.”
― Kristin Neff, Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself

“The key to self-compassion is not to deny suffering, but to recognize that it’s perfectly normal. There isn’t anything wrong with the imperfection of life as long as we don’t expect it to be other than it is.”
― Kristin Neff, Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself

“For example, you may think of yourself as a shy person, lazy, angry, and so on. Then ask yourself the following questions: How often do you display this trait—most of the time, sometimes, only occasionally? Who are you when you don’t display the trait? Are you still you? Are there particular circumstances that seem to draw out the trait, and others in which the trait is not apparent? What are the various causes and conditions that led to having the trait in the first place (early family experiences, genetics, life pressures, etc.)? : If these “outside” forces were partly responsible for you having this trait, is it accurate to think of the trait as reflecting the inner you? Did you choose to have this trait, and do you have much choice about whether or not you display this trait? If not, why are you judging yourself for this trait?”
― Kristin Neff, Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself

“research shows that highly self-critical people tend to be dissatisfied in their romantic relationships because they assume their partners are judging them as harshly as they judge themselves.”
― Kristin Neff, Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself

“Ser humano no significa ser mejor que los demás, sino abarcar toda la gama de la experiencia humana: lo positivo, lo negativo y lo neutro.”
― Kristin Neff, Sé amable contigo mismo: El arte de la compasión hacia uno mismo (Divulgación)

“our brain is like Velcro for negative experiences but Teflon for positive ones.” We tend to take the positive for granted while focusing on the negative as if our life depended on it.”
― Kristin Neff, Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself

“You know quite well, deep within you, that there is only a single magic, a single power, a single salvation . . . and that is called loving. Well, then, love your suffering. Do not resist it, do not flee from it. It is your aversion that hurts,nothing else. —HERMAN HESSE, Wer lieben kann ist glücklich.
Über die Liebe.”
― Kristin Neff, Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself

“A person who is insecurely attached as a child but somehow manages to find a loving, supportive romantic partner as an adult can eventually learn to become securely attached. Healthy romantic relationships allow us to realize that actually, we are valuable and worthy of care, that others can be trusted to meet our needs.”
― Kristin Neff, Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself

“In other words, children start to believe that self-criticism will prevent them from making future mistakes, thereby circumventing others’ criticism. At the very least, they can blunt the force of others’ criticism by making it redundant”
― Kristin Neff, Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself

“Once we fall into the trap of believing that things are “supposed” to go well, we tend to think something has gone terribly amiss when they suddenly don’t.”
― Kristin Neff, Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself

“A person who is insecurely attached as a child but somehow manages to find a loving, supportive romantic partner as an adult can eventually learn to become securely attached.”
― Kristin Neff, Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself

“Querrás cambiar los patrones de conducta que no te ayudan, aunque eso implique
renunciar a ciertas cosas que te gustan. (...) Del mismo modo, la compasión hacia uno mismo implica valorarse en profundidad
y tomar decisiones que nos aportarán bienestar a largo plazo.”
― Kristin Neff, [Self Compassion] [By: Neff, Kristin] [July, 2011]

“A diferencia
de la autocrítica, que pregunta si eres suficientemente bueno, la compasión te pregunta
qué es bueno para ti.”
― Kristin Neff, [Self Compassion] [By: Neff, Kristin] [July, 2011]

“¿Quiero ser una persona perfecta, o una persona sana?”
― Kristin Neff, [Self Compassion] [By: Neff, Kristin] [July, 2011]

“La compasión hacia uno mismo no pretende capturar y definir la valía o la esencia
de quienes somos. No es un pensamiento o una etiqueta, ni una crítica o una valoración.
La compasión es una manera de relacionarnos con el misterio de quienes somos. En
lugar de gestionar nuestra propia imagen con el objetivo de que siempre nos resulte
agradable, la autocompasión respeta el hecho de que todos los seres humanos tenemos
puntos fuertes y débiles. En lugar de perdernos en pensar si somos buenos o malos,
tomamos conciencia de la experiencia del momento presente y nos damos cuenta de que
todo cambia constantemente, de que todo es transitorio. Los éxitos y los fracasos vienen
y van, no nos definen ni determinan nuestra valía. Son solo una parte del proceso de
estar vivo. Nuestra mente puede intentar convencernos de lo contrario, pero nuestro
corazón sabe que la verdadera valía radica en la experiencia fundamental de ser una
persona consciente que siente y percibe.”
― Kristin Neff, Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself

“¿Por qué esforzarse en hacer las cosas bien, sería el planteamiento, si la
mediocridad recibe las mismas alabanzas que el trabajo de calidad?”
― Kristin Neff, [Self Compassion] [By: Neff, Kristin] [July, 2011]

“It seems such a fleeting thing—feeling good—especially as we need to feel special and above average to feel worthy.”
― Kristin Neff, Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself

“His point was that we can distinguish between the normal pain of life—difficult emotions, physical discomfort, and so on—and actual suffering, which is the mental anguish caused by fighting against the fact that life is sometimes painful. Let’s say you get caught in a nasty traffic jam. This situation may be mildly stressful and annoying. You’ll probably be a few minutes late for work and somewhat bored while sitting there. No big deal. If, however, you resist the fact that you are caught in a traffic jam, mentally screaming “THIS SHOULD NOT BE HAPPENING!!!!” you are likely to suffer a great deal. You’ll become much more upset, agitated, and angry than you would be otherwise. Road rage incidents are due to precisely this type of overreaction. There are about three hundred serious injuries or deaths caused by road rage in the United States alone each year. Our emotional suffering is caused by our desire for things to be other than they are. The more we resist the fact of what is happening right now, the more we suffer. Pain is like a gaseous substance. If you allow it to just be there, freely, it will eventually dissipate on its own. If you fight and resist the pain, however, walling it into a confined space, the pressure will grow and grow until there is an explosion.”
― Kristin Neff, Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself

“And sometimes our unconscious tries to sabotage us so that if we do fail, we can avoid feeling unworthy by blaming our failure on not having enough time to do the job well.”
― Kristin Neff, Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself

“If you find that you habitually procrastinate when faced with doing things you don’t want to do, it can help to go to the emotion underlying your resistance itself.”
― Kristin Neff, Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself

“We can’t be defined by what we are thinking and feeling when our consciousness is aware that we are thinking and feeling: otherwise, who is it that is being aware of our thoughts and feelings?”
― Kristin Neff, Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself

“We certainly feel the sting of falling short of our ideals, but our mind tends to focus on the failure itself, rather than the pain caused by failure.”
― Kristin Neff, Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself

“But when your entire sense of self-worth is based on being productive and successful, when failure is simply not allowed, then the striving to achieve becomes tyrannical.”
― Kristin Neff, Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself

“research shows that highly self-critical people tend to be dissatisfied in their romantic relationships because they assume their partners are judging them as harshly as they judge themselves. The misperception of even fairly neutral statements as disparaging often leads to oversensitive reactions and unnecessary conflicts. This means that self-critics often undermine the closeness and supportiveness in relationships that they so desperately seek.”
― Kristin Neff, Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself

“Research suggests that all people self-enhance, but only on those traits valued by their culture.”
― Kristin Neff, Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself

“Even if we do manage to get our act together, the goalposts for what counts as “good enough” seem always to remain frustratingly out of reach. We must be smart and fit and fashionable and interesting and successful and sexy. Oh, and spiritual, too.”
― Kristin Neff, Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself