Self-Compassion Quotes

“One of the downsides of living in a culture that stresses the ethic of independence and individual achievement is that if we don’t reach our ideal goals, we feel that we only have ourselves to blame.”
― Kristin Neff, Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself

“This kind of compulsive concern with “I, me, and mine” isn’t the same as loving ourselves . . . Loving ourselves points us to capacities of resilience, compassion, and understanding within that are simply part of being alive. —SHARON SALZBERG, The Force of Kindness”
― Kristin Neff, Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself

“all pain deserves to be held in the warm embrace of compassion, so that healing can occur.”
― Kristin Neff, Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself

“Compassion is not only relevant to those who are blameless victims, but also to those whose suffering stems from failures, personal weakness, or bad decisions. You know, the kind you and I make every day. Compassion, then, involves the recognition and clear seeing of suffering. It also involves feelings of kindness for people who are suffering, so that the desire to help—to ameliorate suffering—emerges. Finally, compassion involves recognizing our shared human condition, flawed and fragile as it is.”
― Kristin Neff, Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself

“By giving ourselves unconditional kindness and comfort while embracing the human experience, difficult as it is, we avoid destructive patterns of fear, negativity, and isolation.”
― Kristin Neff, Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself

“are. Compassion is not only relevant to those who are blameless victims, but also to those whose suffering stems from failures, personal weakness, or bad decisions. You know, the kind you and I make every day. Compassion, then, involves the recognition and clear seeing of suffering. It also involves feelings of kindness for people who are suffering, so that the desire to help—to ameliorate suffering—emerges. Finally, compassion involves recognizing our shared human condition, flawed and fragile as it is.”
― Kristin Neff, Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself

“there’s almost no one whom we treat as badly as ourselves.”
― Kristin Neff, Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself

“When we give ourselves compassion, however, when we care for and look after ourselves, we can start to let go of society’s narrow definitions of how men and women are supposed to be sexually. We can start to love and accept ourselves exactly as we are and can express our sexuality in the way that most fulfills us.”
― Kristin Neff, Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself

“There is no right or wrong when it comes to sex, only what’s healthy or unhealthy for each individual or couple.”
― Kristin Neff, Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself

“The Criticizer, the Criticized, and the Compassionate Observer”
― Kristin Neff, Self-Compassion: Stop Beating Yourself Up and Leave Insecurity Behind

“instead of relying on our relationship to meet all our needs for love, acceptance, and security, we could actually provide some of these feelings for ourselves. And this would mean that we had even more in our hearts to give to each other. We were both so moved by the concept of self-compassion that in our marriage ceremony later that year, each of us ended our vows by saying “Most of all, I promise to help you have compassion for yourself, so that you can thrive and be happy.”
― Kristin Neff, Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself

“The only way to eventually free ourselves from debilitating pain, therefore, is to be with it as it is. The only way out is through.”
― Kristin Neff, Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself

“The Role of Parents The social group that is most important for survival, of course, is the immediate family. Children rely on their parents to provide food, comfort, warmth, and shelter. They instinctively trust parents to interpret the meaning of things, to help deal with scary new challenges, to keep them safe from harm’s way. Children have no choice but to rely on parents in order to get by in the world. Sadly, however, many parents don’t provide comfort and support, but rather try to control their children through constant criticism. Many of you have grown up this way.”
― Kristin Neff, Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself

“Understanding the narcissism epidemic is important because its long-term consequences are destructive to society. American culture’s focus on self-admiration has caused a flight from reality to the land of grandiose fantasy. We have phony rich people (with interest-only mortgages and piles of debt), phony beauty (with plastic surgery and cosmetic procedures), phony athletes (with performance-enhancing drugs), phony celebrities (via reality TV and YouTube), phony genius students (with grade inflation), a phony national economy (with $11 trillion of government debt), phony feelings of being special among children (with parenting and education focused on self-esteem), and phony friends (with the social networking explosion). All this fantasy might feel good, but unfortunately, reality always wins. The mortgage meltdown and the resulting financial crisis are just one demonstration of how inflated desires eventually crash to earth.”
― Kristin Neff, Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself

“Fortunately, psychologists have discovered that when our sense of belonging extends to the whole human community rather than stopping at the boundaries of our own social groups, conflict is dramatically lessened. As long as we recognize that we are interconnected rather than distinct entities, understanding and forgiveness can be extended to oneself and others with fewer barriers in between. One study illustrates this point quite well. Jewish college students were asked about their willingness to forgive modern-day Germans for what happened in the Holocaust. The study had two conditions—either the Holocaust was described as an event in which Germans behaved aggressively toward Jews, or as an event in which humans behaved aggressively toward other humans. The Jewish participants were more willing to forgive modern-day Germans when the event was described as occurring between humans rather than distinct social groups, and they also saw Germans as more similar to themselves in this condition. By simply shifting our frame of reference from distinctiveness to similarity with others, we can dramatically alter our perceptions and emotional reactions.”
― Kristin Neff, Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself

“A beggar walked up to a well-dressed woman shopping on Rodeo Drive and said to her, ‘I haven’t eaten anything in four days.’ She looked at him and said, ‘God, I wish I had your willpower.”
― Kristin Neff, Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself

“Psychologists have conducted a great deal of research on our ability to consciously suppress unwanted thoughts and emotions. Their findings are clear: we have no such ability. Paradoxically, any attempt to consciously suppress unwanted thoughts and emotions appears to only make them stronger.”
― Kristin Neff, Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself

“While most research into the origins of self-criticism focuses on parents, the truth is that constant criticism by any significant figure in a child’s life—a grandparent, a sibling, a teacher, a coach—can lead that child to experience inner demons later on in life.”
― Kristin Neff, Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself

“People deeply internalize their parents’ criticisms, meaning that the disparaging running commentary they hear inside their own head is often a reflection of parental voices—sometimes passed down and replicated throughout generations. As one man told me, “I just can’t shut the voice up.”
― Kristin Neff, Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself

“Floccinaucinihilipilification, defined as the habit of estimating something as worthless, is one of the longest words in the English language. The mystery of why we do it is as baffling as how to pronounce it.”
― Kristin Neff, Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself

“satisfaction. All by giving yourself the compassion you need in the moment.”
― Kristin Neff, Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself

“attended to.”
― Kristin Neff, Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself

“don’t recognize when we are suffering.”
― Kristin Neff, Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself

“A deep understanding of interbeing allows us to have compassion for the fact that we’re doing the best we can given the hand life has dealt us.”
― Kristin Neff, Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself

“When we're mainly filtering our experience through the ego, constantly trying to improve or maintain our high self-esteem, we're denying ourselves the thing we actually want most. To be accepted as we are, an integral part of something much greater than our small selves. Unbounded. Immeasurable. Free.”
― Kristin Neff, Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself

“Self-compassionate people have also been found to procrastinate less than those lacking self-compassion. This is partly because they report being less worried about how others view their performances, and thus don’t require a plausible excuse for failing.”
― Kristin Neff, Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself

“The number one reason people give for why they aren’t more compassionate to themselves is fear of laziness and self-indulgence. “Spare the rod, spoil the child,” the saying goes, revealing the belief that only harsh punishment can keep indolence at bay. Corporal punishment might be less common in families and schools today, but we still cling to this approach with ourselves, believing that self-flagellation (even if only mental) is both useful and effective. It’s the old carrot-and-stick approach—self-judgment is the stick and self-esteem is the carrot. If you do what you’re supposed to do even though you don’t want to, you can avoid being bashed with self-criticism and feel better about yourself.”
― Kristin Neff, Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself

“Try to feel compassion for how difficult it is to be an imperfect human being in this extremely competitive society of ours. Our culture does not emphasize self-compassion, quite the opposite. We’re told that no matter how hard we try, our best just isn’t good enough. It’s time for something different. We can all benefit by learning to be more self-compassionate, and now is the perfect time to start.”
― Kristin Neff, Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself

“Paul Gilbert, a clinician at the University of Derby and author of The Compassionate Mind, is one of the leading thinkers and researchers on self-compassion as a therapeutic tool. He developed an effective therapy model called “Compassion Focused Therapy” (CFT), which is designed to help people who suffer from severe shame and self-judgment.”
― Kristin Neff, Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself

“Lembre-se de que se você realmente quer se motivar, o amor é mais poderoso que o medo.”
― Kristin Neff, Autocompaixão: Pare de se torturar e deixe a insegurança pra trás