Attached Quotes

“Against her better judgment and the advice of close friends, she would do almost anything to try to be close to him.”
― Amir Levine & Rachel Heller, Attached

“He pushed her away, because he felt the closeness and intimacy increasing.”
― Amir Levine & Rachel Heller, Attached

“Though he wanted to be close to her, he felt compelled to push her away.”
― Amir Levine & Rachel Heller, Attached

“Attachment styles in adulthood are influenced by a variety of factors, one of which is the way our parents cared for us, but other factors also come into play, including our life experiences.”
― Amir Levine & Rachel Heller, Attached

“If your parents were sensitive, available, and responsive, you should have a secure attachment style; if they were inconsistently responsive, you should develop an anxious attachment style; and if they were distant, rigid, and unresponsive, you should develop an avoidant attachment style.”
― Amir Levine & Rachel Heller, Attached

“It was assumed that adult attachment styles were primarily a product of your upbringing.”
― Amir Levine & Rachel Heller, Attached

“In romantic situations, we are programmed to act in a predetermined manner.”
― Amir Levine & Rachel Heller, Attached

“Secure people feel comfortable with intimacy and are usually warm and loving; anxious people crave intimacy, are often preoccupied with their relationships, and tend to worry about their partner's ability to love them back; avoidant people equate intimacy with a loss of independence and constantly try to minimize closeness.”
― Amir Levine & Rachel Heller, Attached

“Adults show patterns of attachment to their romantic partners similar to the patterns of attachment of children with their parents.”
― Amir Levine & Rachel Heller, Attached

“Why would Greg send out such mixed signals, although it was clear, even to us, that he did love her?”
― Amir Levine & Rachel Heller, Attached

“Why was such a successful woman acting in such a helpless way? Why would someone whom we've known to be so adaptive to most of life's challenges become so powerless in this one?”
― Amir Levine & Rachel Heller, Attached

“Her vitality gave way to anxiousness and insecurity.”
― Amir Levine & Rachel Heller, Attached

“Despite my better judgement, I'd avoid making plans with friends in case he called. I completely lost interest in everything else that was important to me.”
― Amir Levine & Rachel Heller, Attached

“From then on I was always anxious.”
― Amir Levine & Rachel Heller, Attached

“From then on I was always anxious”
― Amir Levine & Rachel Heller, Attached

“Inside I had a sinking feeling that something was wrong, but what?”
― Amir Levine & Rachel Heller, Attached

“I shrugged them off, confident that with me, things would be different. Of course, I was wrong.”
― Amir Levine & Rachel Heller, Attached

“All I had to guide me was the common belief that many of us grow up with: The belief that love conquers all. And so I let love conquer me. Nothing was more important to me than being with him.”
― Amir Levine & Rachel Heller, Attached

“The comfort of belonging to someone, of not being alone in the world.”
― Amir Levine & Rachel Heller, Attached

“I found the fact that I caught his eye very flattering.”
― Amir Levine & Rachel Heller, Attached

“Is love enough?”
― Amir Levine & Rachel Heller, Attached

“What’s wrong with me? I’m a smart, good-looking guy with a successful career. I have a lot to offer. I’ve dated some terrific women, but inevitably, after a few weeks I lose interest and start to feel trapped. It shouldn’t be this hard to find someone I’m compatible with.”
― Amir Levine, Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find—and Keep—Love

“women with an anxious attachment style thought about negative scenarios (conflict, breakup, death of partner), emotion-related areas of the brain became “lit up” to a greater degree than in women with other attachment styles.”
― Amir Levine, Attached: Identify your attachment style and find your perfect match

“people with an anxious attachment style are indeed more vigilant to changes in others’ emotional expression and can have a higher degree of accuracy and sensitivity to other people’s cues.”
― Amir Levine, Attached: Identify your attachment style and find your perfect match

“All happiness or unhappiness solely depends upon the quality of the object to which we are attached by love.”
― Amir Levine, Attached: Identify your attachment style and find your perfect match

“the need to be near someone special is so important that the brain has a biological mechanism specifically responsible for creating and regulating our connection with our attachment figures (parents, children, and romantic partners).”
― Amir Levine, Attached: Identify your attachment style and find your perfect match

“She found that having an attachment figure in the room was enough to allow a child to go out into a previously unknown environment and explore with confidence. This presence is known as a secure base. It is the knowledge that you are backed by someone who is supportive and whom you can rely on with 100 percent certainty and turn to in times of need. A secure base is a prerequisite for a child’s ability to explore, develop, and learn.”
― Amir Levine, Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find—and Keep—Love

“If you want to take the road to independence and happiness, find the right person to depend on and travel down it with that person. Once you understand this, you’ve grasped the essence of attachment theory.”
― Amir Levine, Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find—and Keep—Love

“But while the research made it easy to understand romantic liaisons better, how can we make a difference in them? The theory held the promise of improving people’s intimate bonds, but its translation from the laboratory to an accessible guide—that people can apply to their own lives—didn’t exist.”
― Amir Levine, Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find—and Keep—Love

“Bowlby proposed that throughout evolution, genetic selection favored people who became attached because it provided a survival advantage.”
― Amir Levine, Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find—and Keep—Love