Attached Quotes

“An elegant coexistence that does not include uncomfortable feelings of vulnerability and fear of loss sounds good but is not our biology.”
― Amir Levine & Rachel He, Attached

“Once we choose someone special, powerful and often uncontrollable forces come into play. New patterns of behaviour kick in regardless of how independent we are and despite our conscious wills. Once we choose a partner, there is no question about whether dependency exists or not. It always does.”
― Amir Levine & Rachel Heller, Attached

“Our need for someone to share our lives with is part of our genetic makeup and has nothing to do with how much we love ourselves or how fulfilled we feel on our own.”
― Amir Levine & Rachel Heller, Attached

“Unfortunately, she later gave in to common misconceptions and viewed her instinct as a weakness.”
― Amir Levine & Rachel Heller, Attached

“How can we be expected to maintain a high level of differentiation between ourselves and our partners if our basic biology is influenced by them to such an extent?”
― Amir Levine & Rachel Heller, Attached

“Dependency is a fact; it is not a choice or a preference.”
― Amir Levine & Rachel Heller, Attached

“Once we become attached to someone, the two of us form one psychological unit. Our partner regulates our blood pressure, our heart rate, our breathing, and the levels of hormones in our blood. We are no longer separate entities.”
― Amir Levine & Rachel Heller, Attached

“The worst possible case scenario is that you will end up needing your partner, which is equated with "addiction" to them, and addiction we all know, is a dangerous prospect.”
― Amir Levine & Rachel Heller, Attached

“Keep the focus on yourself" and stay on an even keel.”
― Amir Levine & Rachel Heller, Attached

“Your well-being is not their responsibility, and theirs is not yours. Each person needs to look after himself or herself.”
― Amir Levine & Rachel Heller, Attached

“Today's experts offer advice that goes something like this: Your happiness is something that should come from within and should not be dependent.”
― Amir Levine & Rachel Heller, Attached

“Today the significance of adult attachment goes unappreciated. Among adults, the prevailing notion is still that too much dependence in a relationship is a bad thing.”
― Amir Levine & Rachel Heller, Attached

“The need for intimate connection and the reassurance of our partner's availability continues to play an important role throughout our lives.”
― Amir Levine & Rachel Heller, Attached

“Adults are capable of a higher level of abstraction, so our need for the other person's continuous physical presence can at times be temporarily replaced by the knowledge that the person is available to us psychologically and emotionally.”
― Amir Levine & Rachel Heller, Attached

“Attachment needs: they're not just for children.”
― Amir Levine & Rachel Heller, Attached

“We've come a long way (but not far enough).”
― Amir Levine & Rachel Heller, Attached

“The more effectively dependent people are on one other, the more independent and daring they become.”
― Amir Levine & Rachel Heller, Attached

“Most people are only as needy as their unmet needs. When their emotional needs are met, and the earlier the better, they usually turn their attention outward.”
― Amir Levine & Rachel Heller, Attached

“He didn't want to succumb to her every whim.”
― Amir Levine & Rachel he, Attached

“Dependency is not a bad word.”
― Amir Levine & Rachel Heller, Attached

“You'll start to experience change - change for the better, of course.”
― Amir Levine & Rachel Heller, Attached

“Past failures will be seen in a new light.”
― Amir Levine & Rachel Heller, Attached

“Their relationship developed so smoothly she barely discussed it.”
― Amir Levine & Rachel Heller, Attached

“While the research made it easy to understand romantic liaisons better, how can we make a difference in them?”
― Amir Levine & Rachel Heller, Attached

“Understanding is only the beginning.”
― Amir Levine & Rachel Heller, Attached

“For Tamara, the need to remain with Greg was triggered by the very slightest feeling of danger - danger that her lover was out of reach, unresponsive, or in trouble.”
― Amir Levine & Rachel Heller, Attached

“In prehistoric times, being close to a partner was a matter of life and death, and our attachment system developed to treat such proximity as an absolute necessity.”
― Amir Levine & Rachel Heller, Attached

“We’ve been programmed by evolution to single out a few specific individuals in our lives and make them precious to us. We’ve been bred to be dependent on a significant other. The need starts in the womb and ends when we die.”
― Amir Levine & Rachel Heller, Attached

“The need to be close in a relationship is embedded in our genes.”
― Amir Levine & Rachel Heller, Attached

“Their behaviour no longer seemed baffling and complex, but rather predictable under the circumstances.”
― Amir Levine & Rachel Heller, Attached