Attached Quotes

“Although are senses are often accurate, you take your partner's behaviors too personally.”
― Amir Levine & Rachel Heller, Attached

“Learning about the powerful forces of attachment in your relationships and ways in which to harness it will make a significant difference in your life.”
― Amir Levine & Rachel Heller, Attached

“Not only is our emotional well-being sacrificed when we are in a romantic partnership with someone who doesn't provide a secure base, but so is our physical health.”
― Amir Levine & Rachel Heller, Attached

“The question is, what happens when the person we rely on most - and in fact depend on emotionally and physically - doesn't fulfill their attachment role?”
― Amir Levine & Rachel Heller, Attached

“If you want to take the road to independence and happiness, find the right person to depend on and travel down it with that person.”
― Amir Levine & Rachel Heller, Attached

“The ability to step into the world on our own often stems from the knowledge that there is someone beside us whom we can count on.”
― Amir Levine & Rachel Heller, Attached

“They are a part of me, and I will do anything to save them.”
― Amir Levine & Rachel Heller, Attached

“Once we choose a partner, there is no question of whether dependency exists or not. It always does.”
― Amir Levine & Rachel Heller, Attached

“How can we be expected to maintain a high level of differentiation between ourselves and our partners if our basic biology is influenced by them?”
― Amir Levine & Rachel Heller, Attached

“Once we become attached to someone, the two of us form one psychological unit. Our partner regulates our blood pressure, our heart rate, our breathing, and the level of hormones in our blood. We are no longer separate entities.”
― Amir Levine & Rachel Heller, Attached

“Addiction, we all know, is a dangerous prospect.”
― Amir Levine & Rachel Heller, Attached

“The connection between infant and caretaker was an essential for the child's survival as food and water.”
― Amir Levine & Rachel Heller, Attached

“The erroneous belief that all people should be emotionally self sufficient is not new.”
― Amir Levine & Rachel Heller, Attached

“The more effectively dependent people are on one another, the more independent and daring they become.”
― Amir Levine & Rachel Heller, Attached

“Karen's basic assumption, that she can and should control her emotional needs and soothe herself in the face of stress, is simply wrong. She assumed the problem is that she is too needy. Research findings support the exact opposite.”
― Amir Levine & Rachel Heller, Attached

“Karen needed Tim to hold her hand. Tim was hesitant to do so; it felt too close, and besides, he didn't want to succumb to her every whim.”
― Amir Levine & Rachel Heller, Attached

“He valued his independence and she wanted to get closer.”
― Amir Levine & Rachel Heller, Attached

“Tamara's thoughts were focused on assessing whether the new people she met had the capacity to be close and loving in the way that she wanted them to be.”
― Amir Levine & Rachel Heller, Attached

“Use their attachment instincts rather than fight them.”
― Amir Levine & Rachel Heller, Attached

“People with a secure attachment style know how to communicate their own expectations and respond to their partner's need effectively without having to resort to protest behavior.”
― Amir Levine & Rachel Heller, Attached

“Are such behaviors effective or worthwhile?”
― Amir Levine & Rachel Heller, Attached

“The theory does not label behaviors as healthy or unhealthy.”
― Amir Levine & Rachel Heller, Attached

“Behaviours that we used to attribute to someone's personality traits, or that we had previously labeled as exaggerated, could now be understood with clarity and precision.”
― Amir Levine & Rachel Heller, Attached

“We've been bred to be dependent on a significant other. The need starts in the womb and ends when we die.”
― Amir Levine & Rachel Heller, Attached

“We've been programmed by evolution to single out a few specific individuals in our lives and make them precious to us.”
― Amir Levine & Rachel Heller, Attached

“The need to be in a close relationship is embedded in our genes.”
― Amir Levine & Rachel Heller, Attached

“What a difference it would make if they could consciously work toward becoming more secure in their attachment styles instead of letting life sway them every which way.”
― Amir Levine & Rachel Heller, Attached

“Against her better judgement and the advice of close friends, she would do almost anything to try to be close to him.”
― Amir Levine & Rachel Heller, Attached

“He pushed her away because he felt the closeness and intimacy increasing.”
― Amir Levine & Rachel Heller, Attached

“Why would Greg send out such mixed messages, although it was clear, even to us that he did love her?”
― Amir Levine & Rachel Heller, Attached