Addison > Recent Status Updates

This ain't House of Leaves and you aren't Mark Z. Danielewski so this weird ass formatting needs to hit the road.

Horrible heroine now has a new horrible therapist. The author continues to have no idea how mental illness works.

Our horrible heroine talks about how gay people definitely don't have to worry about mental illness because being gay means you like people so anxiety doesn't exist. She's also decided people with agoraphobia all have no sex drives. As a pansexual hermit with with anxiety and a sex drive, I'm offended.

Our horrible heroine suddenly has a cell phone that is sending strange messages about blood and pigs and writes it off with a lol and a continued disbelief in ghosts. Do you want hauntings? This is how you get hauntings.

According to our horrible heroine, gay men exist solely to disappoint her because that means she can't date the guy whose too old for her. Boo hoo again! Man, when does this evil haunting show up?

I hope a ghost shoves a whole humble pie into our main character's face. Oh boo hoo! I had to move away from my mansion to another mansion! The weird girl tried to befriend me! She has pink hair, which is disgusting. Clearly I am suffering!

Okay but satanists don't actually worship the devil. That would be Luciferism. But I get it, research is like, super hard.

Y'all definitely aren't eating BBQ right if you're still capable of making out passionately afterwards.

Oh cool, so the thousand years old guy trying to fuck a teenager is also a murderer. Ugh.

Yeah, I don't know if I'm going to finish this one. Not only is the main character insufferable but so far the plot has literally been fairies attempting to manipulate a centuries old man into fucking a teenager and I'm not about that.

Aw yeah, Odin knows there is nothing I love more than reading about a centuries old supernatural creature making out with a sixteen year old girl in an alley! Oh wait, no I fucking don't. SHIT'S CREEPY.

"Delia was an overbearing cake with condescending frosting, and frankly, I was on a diet." That's a real sentence in this book. Just soak that in.

Can you relate to a main character who stops crushing on someone because they ate a ham sandwich? Because I don't know if I can. That's some straight up "wow, what a judgemental asshat" nonsense.